Vicoden vs. me: Round 1

[tintin]

Hello,

I have visited here before and have been reading a lot of posts. I am taking around 8-10 vicoden a day. I have been taking them for the most part for the past 3 years. I started taking them for a back contition only now I abuse them. I have back pain but I wouldn't know exactly when because I take the pills everyday. Anyway, I was planning on doing a taper off them in dec. when I have a couple weeks off from work but it looks like I will have to do it now. My doctor moved and my new one cut me off. I guess this week will be rough but I need to do this. I really just worry about being ok at work. I can't take time off. I cut my intake to 4 pills yesterday and today and have 2 left for tomorrow. Then that is it. I quit once before with a one week taper-the w/d wasn't that bad but this is a close to cold turkey. I made it 14 days the last time and my neighbor offered me 2 pills for my back-that's all it took to get back on them! well, another lesson learned-once you stop you can't go back. I may call my doctor tomorrow to see if she can give me something to help with the w/d's. I may even ask about the possability of detox but I wouldn't be able to start it until wed. Anyway, the one thing I am certain of is that I need to stop taking these pills. The degree of my suffering may change but not the change itself.

I heard a quote this evening that resonates with me so on this day

"Your addiction is your salvation. It is the cross you carry".

so begins my journey of carrying my own cross in sufferage.....

[Arura]

Hey Tintin.....Love the name...

Just wanted to say Welcome aboard,....and Im sure the Other's wont be too far away,....With more adcvice for you,...!

Good Luck with the Dr ,...and yer Talk about Detox with them,..as you can Leave that world behind,...if you want it Bad enough,...!

Glad your reaching out ,...


.....

[Rusty Zipper]

tintin, welcome back...
and yes its rough...

tintin

I may even ask about the possability of detox but I wouldn't be able to start it until wed. Anyway, the one thing I am certain of is that I need to stop taking these pills.

"May"... do it...
and your certainty is corect...

good wishes, xxoo, rz

[ccgirl]

I did home detox with doctors and it helped tremendously.

[blueline]

tintin,

I quit cold turkey back in August after taking hydrocodone everyday for about a year and a half for a serious back and shoulder injury. My body became dependant on the hydro's. Quitting was extremely hard and the withdrawals were really bad, both physically and mentally. I'm not trying to scare you but I want you to know what's going to happen in the next few days. It will be hard, but you can make it. I made it and so can you. I am at day 85 this morning. The first couple of weeks were really bad for me but after that things got better. Now, I am much happier and I am enjoying life's pleasures everyday, the pleasures that I overlooked when I was on the hydros. I spend quality time with my two children and my wife, and people say that I am noticeably happier. You can beat this monster too and we will help you. I suggest that you keep posting in here as often as you can, everyday. You will find strength from others, just as I did, and before long you will on day 85 and you will be talking to someone who is just starting out and needs your help. Be strong and keep the faith.

Blue

[tintin]

Thanks Blue and all that have posted.
ccgirl-what did your doc. give you to help with the w/d? I have some ambien I will take for a week (I know it is addictive and all but I have taken it in the past with no problem) Getting sleep during this time is very important. Not sleeping for 3 days will drive you nuts. I can handle the flu like symtoms for a week. I just hope I am able to get some work done next week. I have some deadlines.

[Arura]

Can you Find time for you tooo Do this as work can wait your life is definetly more important,......Is there anyway you can find time,...for YOU,...to get this
Done,...! as a hol or break from work as so you can concentrate as it does'nt come easly....!

I Fight to keep my Recovery Safe....!

and I like the saying 'get off the cross as some one needs the wood'...LOL...!

Stick with it and you will find Recovery,.....and much more..,.
Keep Posting..........!


.....................................

[Alan]

Hey TinTin,
Definately have to make recovery your number 1 priority. Its not like going to the store and picking up a loaf if bread. I tried quitting like 15 times the hydro. Evry time I failed I would just continue to use more. It wasnt until after 3 weeks clean that I could actually see what kind of life I was living for myself. I still cant believe what I gave up in exchange for that crap. Getting clean for a while is the easy part. You go thru withdraws that suck but you make it thru. The work starts when your into your recovery. Thats when lifes challenges are back in your face again. The good part is that you learn new ways to accomplish the same things. If its not a life changing and spiritual event, your doing something wrong. Every day clean is a gift for us addicts. We may not enjoy the day to its fullest, but our minds and bodies continue to become healthy again and we get better on each passing day. Using will take all of it away, and for most people, its taken forever.

Alan

[tintin]

well, end of day 1. feel miserable. I made it through work atleast but I don't think I'll do it tomorrow. I do need to give myself some time to get through this-atleast the first week. I am planning on taking tomorrow and wed. off from work. that will give me 6 full days to take care of myself while I w/d through the worst part. I know what I need to do and I know I can do it

[Arura]

WTG tintin.........

Lots of fluid water,...and warm drinks help..also....!

Were Here for you thro this..................

[ccgirl]

Tin, First off get a heating pad. Immodium helps tremendously if you get diarrhea.

The doc I went to put me on clonidine, baclofen, and trazadone and some stomach med that people with IBS take. I can't remember the name.

[Alan]

Stuff yourself with Turkey on Thursday, and you will sleep until Monday morning maybe! LOL. Hang in there dude, just get thru this one and you dont have to be slave to the junk anymore.

Alan

[tintin]

What is that song "tossing and turning over you"-I think I rolled about a half mile last night in bed but did manage to get some sleep. I am taking the next 2 days off from work. I have a lot of comfort foods, electric blanket, heating pad, 10 ambian, immodium, green tea, lots of water and my will to do this. I thought about calling my doc. to get some medication to help with the w/d but I don't think I will just for the chance that he may want to do a taper. I did the taper before and it wasn't as intense as this-I made it by saying to myself "ok, make it 3 more hours and you can have another and feel better"-but it was still difficult and a lot longer. I guess with going cold turkey I need to change my outlook and just surrender. I have found myself thinking that the taper would be better but I really think that deep down I just want some more pills. The more days I make it the better off I will be. I can do it this way just as easy as another way.

The one thing I like about w/d is the clarity of mind (clear head) of the 1st few days. Like waking from a fog. It reminds me of the king in the lord of the rings that has a spell on him and just sits in stupor and then wakes and says- "dark have my dreams been of late"

[LIL_Pebbles]

Hi,

I have been on Percocete for two years now using about 5 a day, opaite blackout, perhaps more on other days. I am on one a day since 11/17th, and I am a nervous wreck, oh yeah can't sleep, but no other issues.

I have also moved out of the fog and that clarity is freaking me out LOL, but this is part of me waking up, I really do not think I can do what you are doing, doing a Cold Turkey is something of a nightmare, taper off is not going to work after this month due to money, but I HAVE to do this till 12/1 and then? I will have to go to Rehab, if I am getting bad? then the psychiatric ward, for my tapering off my withdrawls are all mental/emotonal, I wished they were physical, I can handle that, I know...Don't mind me nervous here...

I want to say that good luck, a year is a long time and to think I can not recall the summer at all, that bad...well I will post my Q,s and lil story.

[Alan]

TinTin,

Things will remain clear and continue to become even clearer over the next month. I forgot how thinking clearly actually felt after 3 weeks clean. It kind of all hit me after 3 weeks at once. I woke up one day and fully realized what I was doing to myself.
Just keep hangin in there. The w/ds will be gone soon enough. You will only be a stronger person when you finally get thru this. You sound like a smart guy and deserve better for yourself.
Word of advice. Try and stay awake during the day, like 9-8. It gives you a better chance at sleeping at night. During the day when you feel like you cant take the pain of withdraw anymore, take a hot shower and let the water
revive you. It puts oxygen back in your muscle tissue and acts like a natural pain killer. Dont worry bout the water bill. I would have stayed in the shower for a month if I could have. When I got to my parents house, I sat in the hotttub for 4 hours at a time. It made me feel better.
Also drink lots of water. Stay away from caffiene for a while and just dont use. You can do it Tin.


Alan

[tintin]

LIL
when I did a taper before I jumped from 2 to zero. I couldn't have handled one a day. If you have been on just one a day for a couple weeks I would think that your w/d would be minimal. I have heard the insomnia, anxiety and often depression can last longer. Maybe you could talk to your doctor about an anti-depressant or something-just a thought. Good job on the taper!

Alan
thanks for the support. I have been staying up all day. I have heard exercise is great. I may try to force myself to atleast go for a walk. I have been draining all my hot water. The bathtub is a godsent

[RX NURSE]

Hi,
I was a rx abuser...anything to make me feel different. I went as low as doing illegal things to obtain those pills. By the grace of God I never got caught and it just began to get too hard to obtain these rxs. I then turned to something legal. DRINKING!!! This has been a road from hell for me. I don't want to be a downer. I just want to warn you all...Don't substitute one drug for another...... I am here for you guys!!!!!

[tintin]

well day 3 here. Can't say I feel wonderful but I'll live. Feels like a mild flu and if it was the flu I would just deal with it anyway. The restless leg thing is the worst-feels like electricity is pulsing through my legs. Anyone know anythink that will help with this other than heat/baths? Also, how long does the vicoden stay in your system? I started taking these for my back - it doesnt hurt now so that's a good sign. Vicoden was a poor choice for my treatment. I have some disk bulges/etc. The vicoden takes away any pain that I have but it just masks the pain. What I have needed to do all along is listen to the pain, slow down and pay attention to it rather than covering it up. I think exercise, p/t, yoga, over the counter pain relievers would be a better way to start.

[kj0975]

I used icy hot and would rub it into my calfs and it seemed to help some with the rls. Smelled but I didnt care, also stretched them. Layed down and raised my leg and pushed out my heel to stretch the muscles and this helped too I would to it for like 2min at a time and it really helped. That was the worst thing for me, when all the other symptoms were gone my legs were still bothering me bad. KJ

[caligirl770]

Tin
I just wanted to thank you for posting. Yesterday I hit the 5 month mark clean and sober, and lately I have been trying to remember my withdrawals/detox. Your posts just reminded me of how I never want to go through that again in my life. Just think you never have to go through this ever again. I think that is one positive thing that comes out of quitting cold turkey, you never want to experince withdrawal ever again.

Exercise will indeed help if you can, I know it took everything that I had to make it to the corner and back. Streching, baths, ben gay helps the crazy legs, just take it one day at a time. You are doing great and you are an inspiration to those who are sober and those who are still struggling.

[Arura]

Just wanted to pop in n say WTG....tintin......

Stick at it ......

And Hope you aren't feeling too bad today,...well your Evening.....?!?

............

[tintin]

Thanks for the words of support Arura!

day 4 here. I actually feel better than I would have thought. I am taking 1 ambian at bedtime-I have 1 weeks worth. I sleep a good 6 hours straight and then toss and turn for another 3 hours-sleeping some. But I feel ok during the day-that is well enough to go outside, do the dishes, cook.

I'm watching the "I shouldn't be alive" marathon on the discovery channel - What I am going through is nothing compared to what these people go through for a week or 2 -so I guess I'm lucky.

looking foreward to another day without pills

[Alera]

Originally Posted by tintin

looking foreward to another day without pills

That is so wonderful to read. I am also a chronic pain patient. I had to get clean to begin to treat the pain the right way.

Insomnia was my worst enemy, still is. If I don't sleep well my triggers to use go up up up. So be careful when you do not get enough sleep and beware/be-aware.

Thinking of you today.

[tintin]

day 5. feel better than yesterday. The flu like symptoms are gone. Legs are still restless and a little sore. Need to get outside and walk for a while-it's a beautiful post-thanksgiving day here in south Texas-76 and sunny

[tintin]

Day 6 clean. Feeling better with each day. I am not out of the woods yet but I really don't want to enter this dark forest again.

I have read a lot of other posts here-it helps also. Addiction is so powerful and destructive. I remember watching a show-"Intervention" and there was this ball player with a family. He got sucked up in his addiction and agreed to go to a treatment center. Before he went, his 2 young children begged to have their daddy back. He went and did 60 days I think but in the follow up-he relapsed and his family had not seen him. What a testiment to this power and destruction and struggle over time. What a testiment all these posts are.