why do i keep relapsing i am a 28 year old who has been to rehab and lived in a sober house. I use to live in miami and because of a divorce i had to move back home to alabama to start my life over. i did good for almost two years. but then i started hanging around some of my old class mates, and they did another D.O.C that was'nt my flavor so it was easy for me to say no. but seeing them do their drug made me start to think about mine. and i started back for a while and then i met this girl who was clean and a school teacher. things for once started to go right for me. about 4months into our relationship i dissapeared for almost 24hours and spent about 1,000 dollars. and then i started going back to some meetings and got a little time clean, but then i quit going to those meetings and a few months later i did it again, only this time i didnt spend as much as last time. me and my fiance are now not living together and i stay with my mom who keeps a close eye on me. i want to be sober but my fiance now has a problem with pain pills and when she sends me out to get her some pills it starts my urge to use. i dont know why i cant get my head straight and do right. if you got anything that might help let me know. thanks |
Some people just have a predisposition for addiction. Should you use? No. Is it hard not to? Yes it is. It will be a fight you will live with constantly. |
i know it will always be a battle.i want to stay clean but after a while i get lazy and quit thinking about my recovery. |
If you have the DESIRE to stop drinking or using then u r in the right place. ADMITTING you are POWERLESS over alcohol and or drugs is the first step. ACCEPTING IT is the next Then BELIEVING in Something Greater than you to help you stay clean or sober is another. Hi Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic. By the Grace of my HP and people like you here in SR i havent had a drink of alcohol since 8-11-90. For that Im truely grateful. I thought i could control my drinking but i couldnt no matter how hard i tried. It was Feb 90 when i had a bad accident which sent me to the hospital for 10 with them removing my spleen or i would have bled to death. Then a few months i healed nicely to only pick up a drink after my pain meds didnt have any pain to heal anymore....i didnt realize then that the progression of my disease was very rapid. In Aug. 90 I tried to end my miserable life. So a hand full of pain pills and left over wine i down it and off to wake no more. Thank God that attempt didnt follow thru....my family stepped in and had a court order to have me picked up and admitted to a 28 day inpatiant rehab program. It was there that i picked up the tools and knowledge of recovery to learn to stay sober one day at a time. I took and followed suggestions freely given to me as my life depended on it when i was released. I heard many times in the many meeting i went to about how when u get sober it screws up ones drinking career. You have been in treatment and programs, so u have the knowledge of what it takes to stay sober or clean. However...for me...i had realize that alcohol or any kind of drug in my system is "poison" to me. I also had to get rid of people, places and things that would remind me of drinking. Today, i still follow the 12 Steps provided to us located in the Big Book. If i EVER think i know all there is to know about this program or my britches are to big for this program, then i will surely get drunk, go crazy... or die....and for me ive been drunk before and i was admitted to the looney bin and i almost died.... Today...my only purpose in life is, is to help other alcoholic or people in recovery by sharing my own Experiences, strengths and hopes with them. And to apply the 12 Steps to my everyday life to the best of my ability. One day at a time. Thanks for letting me share. |
hereagain- Welcome...again!! I think it might help if you stop running dope errands for others,and maybe stop looking for excuses to get loaded. |
I just got home from AA meeting. I use to white chip over and over many times also. I had 13 years once but stopped going to meetings and after awhile, I used/drank again. Once I got sick of being sick, I went back to meetings and got sponsor etc. Now almost 17 months.I can not stay sober alone!!!!!!! I can not be around people that drink or drug. I had to surrender to the 12 step program and higher power. Go to any length. |
Sounds like you answered your own question then. Keep on keepin' on. Peace & Love, Sugah |
good luck The best advice that I can give you is...STAY AWAY FROM PEOPLE WHO USE!!!!! It's the easiest way for you to NOT want to use. I had to turn my back on my brothers(who I was VERY close to in the past). You have to decide that YOU wanna stop. Make that decision and stick by it. Good-luck hun...it's an up-hill battle...you don't need the extra weight pullin you down! Lindee |
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