hydrocodone addiction

[chloe06]

Well I have been detoxed in hospital twice and both times they cut me down one a day and it definately wasnt as severe as I have experienced this time, although I was on other meds in hospital like sleeping tablets so guess that helped...so hopefully it will be a little eaiser the slower you take the taper...really pleased that you are doing this, even though I have suffered greatly I dont regret it for a moment...day 23 tomorrow.

ps thanks for the info...I am going to see how I go overnight, seeing psychiatrist tomorrow so pretty good timing.

Chloe

[blueline]

good morning Chloe, are you ok...

[blueline]

ccgirl, I quit cold turkey about 2 weeks ago and am still going through the withdrawals. I took hydrocodone for 16 months and if you go cold turkey the withdrawals will be very bad. I think tapering off slowly will make it easier for you if you can do it. Personally, I did not have the will power to taper off. If I had the pills I would take them, so I had to go cold turkey. This is day 16 for me I think and things are still pretty bad, but maybe a little better this morning. The main thing is that there are alot of good, caring people in this forum that are sincere about helping you. They have gotten me this far and I don't think I could have made it without support from the people in here. Stay strong and keep checking in.

[blueline]

hey buzz, how'd the exam go? I hope it went good for you.

[chloe06]

Hi Blue,

Glad to see you got through the weekend ok. I havent had a great day, had a problem with the new anti-depressant I was prescribed, havent slept for 4 nights and having a rapid heart rate and low blood sugar so stopped taking it as from tonight so I am hoping for some sleep as I could really use it...cant get rid of this damn headache...but onto day 23 tomorrow.

Chloe

[blueline]

Chloe, I had a bad night saturday but last night was a little better. I actually got about 4 hours sleep. I also have had a bad headache, along with other muscle and leg cramps. I think I might be a little better today but not much. I'm still extremely tired and sluggish. My back hurts but I only take Advil for it. I need something stronger for the pain but I refuse to take anything else. I think I'll be ok, just need a few more days. I hope you feel better soon.

[blueline]

I better get to work. I'll check back in later.

Blue

[Buzz Kilowatt]

Originally Posted by blueline

hey buzz, how'd the exam go? I hope it went good for you.

Blueline,

It went pretty well - thanks for asking. No problems with the meds and they found a few things in the exam but unless there is a different biopsy report nothing of great concern.

I watched the 9/11 documentary last nite and was reminded of gratitude to public servants like yourself. An admirable, underpaid, and usually thankless calling . . .

Sounds like you are on the mend. You definitely should be feeling better after 2 weeks. CT is a real bear. If there is any good to come of the misery it's knowing that you sure don't want to endure it again.

Hope you have a good week.

Buzz

[ccgirl]

Hi Blue! Nice to meet you. Thanks for the support and I hope you're feeling better every day. You know the tapering really is working and I have NO desire to take more pills than necessary. I set them aside the night before and put them in my jewelry box and refuse to open the bottle again until the next night! You'd think with that kind of willpower this wouldn't have happened to me in the first place!

[blueline]

ccgirl, I thought the same thing..."this can't happen to me", but I finally woke up and realized that it did. I was in denial for a while refusing to let myself believe that I have a problem. I am a strong willed and strong minded person. I deal with drug addicts and drug users all the time, and it really cut me deep when I realized that I had a problem with hydrocone. I have a wonderful wife and two wonderful boys. "I can't be a drug addict" is what I thought. It was then that I said "no more". A couple of weeks ago I got on the internet and stumbled on this forum. I had no idea what I was doing when I started this thread, but it has been a wonderful blessing, and the people in here have been a great source of strength for me. I don't think I could have made it 16 days without the help of the people in here. I hope you don't go through withdrawals as bad as me and Chloe did (and still are). But, regardless, it really helps when you have people supporting you. I have found that the people in here are really sincere about helping and supporting people like you and me. I wish you the best of luck and I hope you keep checking in with us.

[chloe06]

its 4am here and I havent managed to sleep...how long can you really go with no sleep?? so frustrating.

[blueline]

Chloe, I'm sorry you aren't sleeping. I know how you feel though, I usually go four or five days before I'm tired enough to sleep. I drink alot of Mt. Dew and coffee during the day to keep me awake.

[ccgirl]

Chloe; I've had sleep problems for many years (unrelated to hydrocodone) and my doctor said that even if you don't sleep, at least your body is resting. I know that's probably small consolation, but it's all I have for you.


P.S. Did you go to your therapist? How did it go?

[chloe06]

Hi CC,

I dont see my therapist till friday but I am seeing psychiatrist this morning...I didnt sleep at all last night, that is 2 nights in a row of absoloutley no sleep. My heart is still racing and I just feel so unwell, have a constant headache and just feel like I have jet lag...I am going to try so hard today to do some excersise and see if that helps..I just dont have any energy. Dont know what to do about the AD, hoping the dr will have some advice on whether he thinks I am up to not taking anything or if I am being foolish, I am so confused, I dont know what to do for the best. I have also struggled with sleep since my second child was born he is 8 this year and I have been more or less on sleep meds since then, but unfortunately they are no longer an option for me because like my other meds I took too many of them and they have had negative effects to my overall health...I do feel pretty hopeless at the moment, thinking when is this going to end...and please god give me the strength to go on and fight this, I just feel scared all of the time, just feel like I am never going to get better.

Chloe

[ventuhome]

(((((Chloe)))))))
We are all thinking about you. You ARE going to get better. Just rest if you feel exhuasted, and just get up and move around if you feel restless.
((((Blue))))) to you too!! Thanks for starting this thread, may you keep improving too.

[Buzz Kilowatt]

Originally Posted by blueline

I thought the same thing..."this can't happen to me", but I finally woke up and realized that it did. I was in denial for a while refusing to let myself believe that I have a problem . . . I had no idea what I was doing when I started this thread, but it has been a wonderful blessing, and the people in here have been a great source of strength for me. I don't think I could have made it 16 days without the help of the people in here.

Eventually you might discover, as I have, that the kindness of strangers (on this forum) not only helps to beat addiction, but some of it "rubs off." I'm pretty sure I've become more compassionate for the experience, and it made me want to give back.

I'll bet you'll look at some of the addicts that you deal with, and the pushers in very different and contrasting light after you've made your own journey out of hell.

Let's compare notes down the road.

Buzz

[WA_NA_Survivor]

I agree, I have threads in another forum that I started back in January this year when I quit hydrocodone and the experiences Blue, CCGirl & Chloe have discussed in the last few weeks take me back to those days - and at the time each minute while I was flooded with pain, seemed like an eternity.

Being able to vent and discuss my feelings, whether in a 12 step meeting or online, really makes a world of difference. Soon enough, you'll find that several months have passed and the intense physical withdrawals will be a distant memory and the severity of emotional distress will fade only to re-surface from time to time in the shape of addictive thinking. It's easier to show those thoughts the door than it is to endure the pain of withdrawal again.

I have had some pain issues to deal with recently and as usual the doc's wanted to prescribe my arch nemesis which I refuse to use again I realize there are medical situations that warrant narcotic medications (as Buzz mentioned recently) but while I have other options, I don't want to go there unless there is no other choice. Ironically, I'm faced with a situation where I could renew a prescription if i wanted to but now that I have some freedom and control back in my life I want to keep on saying no to that impulse and that feels good!

Glad your operation and med's had no lasting effect on you Buzz.

You're all very courageous, keep it up!

[chloe06]

I dont want to get all gushy...but without blue and this thread and all the people that have replied to me and others here I wouldnt be where I am today...I would be abusing benzos(big thanks to woops,runvs,buzz) for setting me on the right road. I can not express my thanks enough, this is the first thing I do when I wake and the last thing I do before I try to sleep! I hope one day to be able to help others the way all of you have helped me.

Chloe

[ccgirl]

I just want to share a really positive doctor experience. I went to my GP yesterday to re-evaluate my migraines and also right before I left to go there I got pissed at something and slammed a bureau drawer on my pinkie. When I told her about the pinkie, I broke down and told her about my problem. She actually held my hand, and we had a long talk. She offered to send me to an outpatient center (she felt that due to the amount I was on, outpatient was adequate) Unfortunately I told her I couldn't, but she told me to call her if I start feeling really crappy. Then last night, she called me to see if I was OK. It really helps to know people care.

As far as symptoms go, my stomach is starting to feel a little messed up, and I'm having lots of headaches and my knees of all things hurt. Otherwise OK.

[chloe06]

cc you are doing really well...the dr said my withdrawal has been protracted because I also had to stop all the other meds I was on and they all have withdrawal symptoms so dont let my experience put you off, others seem to feel real improvement in the first 10 days, so pleased you have found someone to support you. I also had a really positive experience with a psychiatrist for the first time ever...was convinced he would want me on loads of stuff but he didnt, he said he respected and understood my fears about medication..so there are some good drs out there...have a better day...btw, diareaoh is pretty common, I am still having it, codeine causes constipation so its only natural things will go the other way when you stop it. Only upside to any of this is I have lost 24lbs in weight....have to find some positives!

[ccgirl]

Chloe; that's so funny about the weight, because I thought the same thing. I have recently lost 50 lbs and the last 20(I was a big girl) have been tought coming off. So, trying to think positively, I thought to myself, hey there goes that 20 lbs.

Right now I am gagging down some yogurt with a little granola. I have to keep my strength up to take care of my kids. Thank God they're in school today!

[blueline]

You're right buzz, I think I might look at drug users in a different way. I have always been really hard nosed about drug users and drug dealers. For 20 years I have had an absolute zero tolerance as far as drugs go. I still feel that way, but I think I will see things a little different now. I can be a little more compassionate and maybe a little more understanding now, at least under certain circumstances and maybe with some people. I think that this whole experience will make me a better person.

I think I feel a little better today. The physical withdrawals seem to be easing up a bit, but I'm still not sleeping. I guess that will come with time. I have been awake since 2:00am this morning. Looks like another coffee day for me. But, I do feel better. The Requip seemed to help my RLS. I got a 10 day supply and I could really tell the difference, most of the time. Some nights were still pretty bad, but mostly it was tolerable.

Thanks to everyone...you are all wonderful.

Blue

[Latte]

Originally Posted by windysan

Chloe and Blue,

You are both doing very well with this. As time goes by it gets better and better. Remember that exercise is the BEST medicine for insomnia. All that over the counter crap just weirded me out. Benzos for sleep is defnitely NOT the answer either. Remember to try and eat carbs and some protein...don't worry about the added weight right now. About Narcotics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous.....Blue, you might need to be careful with this. The drug court system has hijacked meetings in both of these organizations in many areas. Many at meetings are court-mandated and could give a rat's arse about anybody being anonymous. If you do decide to go to meetings make sure that they DON'T sign court papers.....you can avoid running into the drug offenders you might've arrested.

Hang in there, y'all.

If I go to NA meetings I go to closed ones. My SO does drug interdiction as part of his job and we were advised by a lawyer (private) to make sure the anonymity is very important. I have some Dr.'s and nurses in my home group too. It helps to keep it real.

Whether you go to online meetings, f2f meetings, as long as you are getting the support you need...you can get well.

[Christian]

Originally Posted by gettingbetter32

Hi, and welcome
you may want to check with your doctor before going off those cold turkey -normally they will want to taper you off slowly - especially if you have been on them for some time.
Also - we are all good people here - all have families and lives outside addiction. Not sure there is any "typical" user.
good luck and keep posting!! - the support is here if you choose to use it.

pharmaceutic companies never had it better. drugs that you can't stop taking even if you wanted to opiates you can go cold turkey but you will feel a significant withdrawl, benzos you cannot go cold turkey and u can die from doign so (wonderful healing medicines, eh?)

[chloe06]

Well I am feeling really bad, wasnt going to post at all..I took my new med which didnt work and at 1.30 I was up with a terrible migraine, my heart hammering and in a right state...so after discussion with my husband I took some diazepam, that did help both with the pain and I managed 2-3 hrs sleep, but I have woken at 5 and my heart is hammering again and I am feeling pretty hopeless,I just cant see and end to this and I feel so crap that I had to take the diazepam but I was close to breaking point so we agreed that it was for the best....I am so scared that this isnt going to get better...going to phone the psychiatrist this morning to let him know the meds didnt work and see what he says. I am sorry that I have let you all down and myself but I was so desperate.
Chloe