hydrocodone addiction

[chloe06]

I am off to bed now...not been a good day for me either...felt very low most of the day. Hope I sleep will check in in the morning will be day 11 tomorrow just hope it is better than today!

[blueline]

Chloe, I just came to work. It is always good to hear from you. You asked me what time it was here. I think there is a big time difference between Arkansas and Australia. When you checked on yesterday it was around 4:00pm for me, which was nearing the end of my shift. That's why I didn't get to talk to you for long. I am sitting at my desk right now doing paperwork. I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate you staying in here with me so I won't feel like I am alone. It helps when you have someone else to lean on. I am basically a strong person, but am really having a hard time with this. Today is worse than yesterday. I actually felt better yesterday in day 5, but I had a terrible night last night and I feel like I took two steps backward today. No sleep last night, my legs bothered me all night, and my back hurt alot. The bad part is that I know all I have to do is call my doctor and get some relief, not only from the withdrawals but also from the constant pain in my back and shoulder. I know he will, as he always has in the past, give me all the pain pills I want. Doctors should not do that, but mine does, and I'm paying a heavy price for it now. It is so hard to do but I will not give in. I will deal with the pain of my injuries in my own way, but I will not give in and get more hydrocodone pain killers. At least I hope I don't give in. It was all I could do to get out of bed this morning, suit up, and go to work. It will be a long day. It helps if I stay busy. Maybe I will have a busy day to keep my mind off it. Check in when you get up, ok. I hope you sleep well and I hope each day gets better for you. Well, off I go to face day 6....

[blueline]

thanks ventuhome, I'll try that.

[windysan]

Chloe and Blue,

You are both doing very well with this. As time goes by it gets better and better. Remember that exercise is the BEST medicine for insomnia. All that over the counter crap just weirded me out. Benzos for sleep is defnitely NOT the answer either. Remember to try and eat carbs and some protein...don't worry about the added weight right now. About Narcotics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous.....Blue, you might need to be careful with this. The drug court system has hijacked meetings in both of these organizations in many areas. Many at meetings are court-mandated and could give a rat's arse about anybody being anonymous. If you do decide to go to meetings make sure that they DON'T sign court papers.....you can avoid running into the drug offenders you might've arrested.

Hang in there, y'all.

[blueline]

Thanks windysan, I don't plan on going to any meetings. I'm sure I would run into someone I have had to deal with and they would know me. I plan on handling it in my own way. Thanks for your support.

[Done_With_It]

Blueline, there is some great info on the Smart Recovery website you may want to check out.

Hang in there, your doing great.

The ups and downs will get better...

[Jane63]

Just wanted to drop in and say CONGRATS to Blueline and keep up the great work!
I, like you, realised I had a problem with the Vicoprophen {Hydros} I was being prescribed for my legit pain and set out here looking for help and support to get off them. I found it in so many ways and am now alittle over 2-years clean from a 20-25 pill a day habit!

I went "cold turkey" too, except in a 4-day rehab that I researched and had myself admitted to...BTW...LOTS of professionals there detoxing right along with many others! It was a very humbling experience!

I would think that you are probably over the worst of the WDs by now but only you know how bad you are really feeling. The Catapress Patches I wore in rehab helped greatly with restless legs, etc and are an option you may want to discuss with your doctor to help you through this.
{*I say this with caution as I have read your previous posts and see that your doctor was being very "generous" with giving you pain meds as was my own! JMHO, being a doctor is really not an "exact science" and they can only go by what we tell them and what they have been taught. We also have to be responsible patients, being truthful not only to ourselves, but to them also. *Researching things on your own is also most helpful!}

For me, getting as much rest as possible really helped and also if you have someone there who can help you out until you get your "sea legs" back!

Taking little walks and doing stretching exercises often also helped until I felt better enough to get out and do a whole block. Also, I practically lived on those little mini-muffins from WalMart {LOL!}, crackers and cheese and pizza! Anything as long as it didn't take alot of prep time! {I also rediscovered my love of having movie nights around this time so maybe renting a couple upbeat flicks may be a good idea!}
I started taking a multi-vitamin around this time and haven't stopped since...I think it has really helped me!
For pain I would take Ibuprofen {can take up to 800-mg if needed as recommended by my pharmacist, but you may want to check to make sure!} and sometimes ONE Tylenol PM to help me sleep.
Since then I am also taking Excedrene Tension which seems to help greatly with my pain, but would not suggest trying that until you are feeling better as it contains caffiene that may make you shaky which you probably don't need right now!
All in all, it has been my experience that the OTC meds DO work so give them a chance!

OK...sorry this is soo long! Just wanted to share some insights and info that helped me and to let you know what a wonderful gift you gave yourself! Be thankful that you caught this before it got too out of hand and give yourself extra kudos for hanging tough! Keep on keeping on!!
{{HUGS}}
Jane

[Jane63]

PS...I do not attend any meetings either, although The Serenity Prayer is still a favorite and I read it often!

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

*Best wishes to you!!*

[Patches]

Hey you guys, I've been on the hydros on and off for about 8 years now. I have a spinal disease that is eating it's way through my discs and facet joints. Also have artho of the muscle tissue in my lower back. All started from a car wreck. I have been through the withdrawals and ended up in the ER from vomiting, bowel issues, fever, chills and sweating. I refilled my last prescription yesterday and I'm scared out of my mind. I don't want this any more but don't know where to begin to taper off. I have no one, my husband doesn't understand and is no help. God help me, I don't know what to do or where to turn. The pain is miserable, the withdrawals are horrible, and I'm stuck between the two. I've begged my husband to take them from me and help me taper off by keeping them and giving them to me on a schedule like every 6 hours to start since I've been taking them every 2 to 4 hours. God, i don't have any one else to help me with this. My father is not a father, never has been, my mother is completely discabled and I have to help take care of her, feed her, bathe her....she can't help me either....I have no job, no money.....can anyone tell me what to do?

[blueline]

patches, I know what you are going through. When I filled my last prescription and told myself that I would not get anymore, I was torn between feeling the constant pain, or going through the withdrawals. I, unlike you, can get as many hydros as I need or want at no cost to me because my injuries were in the line of duty and workman's comp pays all of the bills. I decided to stop taking the pills and go through the withdrawals. I took the hydros for 16 months without stopping and I am going through some serious withdrawals, but I have made it to day 6 and I am determined to stick it through. I suggest that you, as hard as it is, try to take less and less each day while you still have some hydros. I was unable to do that, but if you can I think that would help you with the withdrawals. Coming in here each day has helped me up to this point, which is day 6 for me. There are some really good, caring people in here who are sincere about helping. Anyway, good luck and be strong......

[blueline]

Jane, wonderful poem...very inspiring. Thanks so much

blueline

[Jane63]

Your welcome Blueline!! Take care!!! {{HUGS}}

{{Patches}}
Some people need to take pain medicene because their pain is just too great to be taken care by OTC meds alone.

I am not an expert of course, but my suggestion would be to see an Addictionologist and trying different medications for your pain that are not so addictive...or possibly those that have a longer acting effect on your pain.

I would also look into counseling or some sort of meetings to help you with the feelings of helplessness you are having which are quite normal when dealing with chronic pain.

Just remember you are not alone in this and that you can always come here for support! Be strong!!
Jane

[caligirl770]

Bluline, Chloe, and Patches and who ever else needs support from Hydros -
2 Months ago I found a really great recovery message board for people who suffer from hydro addiction. I welcome you all to join, it has really saved me, and everyone there is like family. Lots of support and ideas.
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/HydroRecovery/

Maybe I will see you there

Christie

[Patches]

Thanks you guys for answering. Sometimes I feel so damn alone ya know? I've cried all blasted day like a little girl! I feel so damn weak. I beat cocaine years ago and I keep telling myself that I can beat this too but I never expected to be where I am now with this crap. You guys are the best and I'm thankful that God has led me to this board. You guys are all I have now.

[blueline]

almost made it through another day of work.....it has been a very long, hard day...

[Blake]

Originally Posted by blueline

almost made it through another day of work.....it has been a very long, hard day...

I hear you on that one dude....are you staring at the clock yet? I am.......almost there......

It takes the long hard days for us to be able to appreciate the not so long not so hard days....at least that's what I tell myself

[blueline]

Blake, almost another hour to go. I spent this afternoon in the training room, trying to stay awake while being trained on the new Intoximeter...don't know how much I learned but I think I did get some sleep during the class (lol)

[blueline]

hi chloe, I hope you got some rest during your night...I was trying to fugure the time difference between Australia and Arkansas..I think you are 9 hours earlier than here if I'm not mistaken.

blue

[chloe06]

morning...didnt have a good night, came so close to the diazepam but husband was very firm, he even got up so I could stretch out and toss and turn. I must have fallen asleep because I didnt hear him come back to bed but I was awake in the early hours but just laid there again....day 11 today, still woke up sweating...sure physical symptoms should be going by now but doesnt look like it...guess taking so much for so long means the withdrawal is harder.Managed to eat a little more yesterday although it was really hard. I have lost 20lbs since I started this, daily diarehoa doesnts really help. Tried gatorade but made me feel wired so sticking with the water. Hope today is a little easier. Welldone blue for getting thru another day and patches it isnt easy but it is possible..I have done this just with the help of my husband...he has been great.
Chloe

[blueline]

Chloe, I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with this..I think it is harder on you than it is on me, but I do know what you are going through. My wife also got up and slept on the sofa last night because of my tossing and turning, and my legs bothered me pretty bad also so I kicked alot. The RLS eased up around 3:00 this morning and I may have dosed after that but I get up at 6:00 so that doesn't leave much time for sleeping. I'm glad your husband is supporting you. That helps alot I think. I'm not going to preach to you but from what I have heard from the good people in here you need to try to stay away from the diazepam if you can. I realize that's easy for me to say because I'm not the one going through what you are going through. I only have withdrawals from the hydrocodone pain killers, which is a killer, but I think you are having harder times than I am and I'm sorry for that. Be strong and rely on the strength of your husband and your friends....

blue

[chloe06]

Thanks blue...I know its harder this time and I am sure its the mix of drugs that I was on that is probably causing it...I get scared that I will never feel well madness I know but it is there. I havent taken any diazepam for 4 nights now so that i sprogress! Hope you sleep tonight.
Chloe

[blueline]

Chloe, I think you will have a better day tomorrow...you have 11 days under your belt and there can't be much farther for you to go. It has to start getting better soon. I know today is worse than yesterday and the day before for me. I don't know whats up with that. I guess it's normal, I don't know, but I do know it's hard to work when you feel so terrible and without sleep. My day 5 ended at 2:00pm this afternoon and I'm about 3 hours in day 6. I only hope that by day 11 will be better. But if not, I guess I'll ride this horse until the horse drops dead...

Blue

[blueline]

my shift ends in 10 minutes...better leave the office and get home.

Blue

[kj0975]

for me personally hot baths right before bed really helped my legs and massage them while your in the tub that would help them calm to sleep also bengay helped too. Mine rls lasted about 3wks pretty much all the other symptoms were gone but than one I felt like cutting my legs off it sucked so bad. Your all doing great keep up the good work. Keeping bz helped too its just getting the energy to do it but I forced myself so I wasnt clock watching. Gatorade helped too vitamins and liquid vit b helped with some energy also otc melatonin helped me get some sleep. Wish you all the best of luck. KJ the chills and sweats end too dont last too long.

[Jane63]

Sometime after dinner tonight I was thinking about the last reply I made here today and realised I pretty much contradicted myself! {#62}
{I really have no brain lately! My one and only baby is starting college in less than 2-wks so I really get confuzzled sometimes! Sorry!}

I guess I should add that even though "Some people need to take pain medicene because their pain is just too great to be taken care of by OTC meds alone" that only you know if you are abusing them or not or if your pain might be handled in a better, less addictive way.

Just wanted to clarify that so I didn't sound like too much of an idiot! LOL!
I really wish you all well and please keep posting!
{{HUGS}}
Jane