Question about switching from methadone to suboxone
Thanks for listening to me Lyoness. All I want for you is a stress free....happy life. I know from my own experience that isn't possible while on the oxy. But I also know right now.....getting thru these court hearings is upmost in your mind.
You have lots of support here at SR lyoness. You will get thru this.
Keep in mind that going for treatment would help your case too. It will show you are in good faith and that you want to get better. Judges always view those things positively. even if it's only an outpatient IOP?
You have lots of support here at SR lyoness. You will get thru this.
Keep in mind that going for treatment would help your case too. It will show you are in good faith and that you want to get better. Judges always view those things positively. even if it's only an outpatient IOP?
Night owl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Orion spur of the Milky Way galaxy
Posts: 2,050
Hi clean, thanks for writing and caring. I'm not sure where my case is right now. I was such a nervous wreck that I couldn't follow everything the lawyer said--too many options. I was shaking in fear. He explained some things that made sense but I just couldn't remember them all. And having one of my witnesses to my depression refuse to help me had me in a state of shock. Didn't know she'd rather see me in jail than verify a single sentence. Some friend.
I also want to clarify that I'm not on Oxy nor do I have any access. I have lorazepam for panic from psychiatrist and low dose methadone that I'm still hoping to find a doctor to help me safely titrate off of. Since I'm blacklisted I don't know what will happen. Hence considering switching to subs and trying to figure out how to titrate. Not my ideal but mentally ill losers like me don't have much choice.
But I really, really appreciate the love and support from you CleaninLI and others here. Its the only thing helping me make it from one breath to the next.
I also want to clarify that I'm not on Oxy nor do I have any access. I have lorazepam for panic from psychiatrist and low dose methadone that I'm still hoping to find a doctor to help me safely titrate off of. Since I'm blacklisted I don't know what will happen. Hence considering switching to subs and trying to figure out how to titrate. Not my ideal but mentally ill losers like me don't have much choice.
But I really, really appreciate the love and support from you CleaninLI and others here. Its the only thing helping me make it from one breath to the next.
QUOTE=Lyoness;5632297]Hi clean, thanks for writing and caring. I'm not sure where my case is right now. I was such a nervous wreck that I couldn't follow everything the lawyer said--too many options. I was shaking in fear. He explained some things that made sense but I just couldn't remember them all. And having one of my witnesses to my depression refuse to help me had me in a state of shock. Didn't know she'd rather see me in jail than verify a single sentence. Some friend.
I also want to clarify that I'm not on Oxy nor do I have any access. I have lorazepam for panic from psychiatrist and low dose methadone that I'm still hoping to find a doctor to help me safely titrate off of. Since I'm blacklisted I don't know what will happen. Hence considering switching to subs and trying to figure out how to titrate. Not my ideal but mentally ill losers like me don't have much choice.
But I really, really appreciate the love and support from you CleaninLI and others here. Its the only thing helping me make it from one breath to the next.[/QUOTE]
Lyoness...
You seem to do something that I do too much of and that is to refer to yourself as a "loser" or in some other pejorative way. I know t hat some of us in recovery have had horrible experiences with family, relationships, work and the one thing that seems indigenous to those of us who have a history of mental illness and substance abuse. Instead of embracing our strengths as survivors, we tend to seek out the lowest common denominator in those with whom we can easily identify with—-on a negative level. It's as if we can choose to use our gifts to reshape and get ourselves into recovery or sink further into the abyss of chaos and depression which is more familiar and, believe it or not comfortable for us!
Don't borrow trouble is something my GF tells me when I start worrying about getting my methadone prescription filled within the 3-day period here in NYC. I also have panic attacks and agoraphobia which makes it a freaking nightmare for me to travel without her or a friend, but sometimes I have to "wing" it and go by myself.
These are some of the strategies I used to get through a stressful situation. They took years to cultivate, trust me, but I worked with my sponsor on roleplaying traveling situations and I recall getting panicked if the plan didn't go as planned. But, if I wanted to use, I went to an NA meeting, called someone, came to SR and post, etc.
Relapsing is not the answer. Switching from methadone to suboxone on your own is not anything to play with or to even think about,
I also want to clarify that I'm not on Oxy nor do I have any access. I have lorazepam for panic from psychiatrist and low dose methadone that I'm still hoping to find a doctor to help me safely titrate off of. Since I'm blacklisted I don't know what will happen. Hence considering switching to subs and trying to figure out how to titrate. Not my ideal but mentally ill losers like me don't have much choice.
But I really, really appreciate the love and support from you CleaninLI and others here. Its the only thing helping me make it from one breath to the next.[/QUOTE]
Lyoness...
You seem to do something that I do too much of and that is to refer to yourself as a "loser" or in some other pejorative way. I know t hat some of us in recovery have had horrible experiences with family, relationships, work and the one thing that seems indigenous to those of us who have a history of mental illness and substance abuse. Instead of embracing our strengths as survivors, we tend to seek out the lowest common denominator in those with whom we can easily identify with—-on a negative level. It's as if we can choose to use our gifts to reshape and get ourselves into recovery or sink further into the abyss of chaos and depression which is more familiar and, believe it or not comfortable for us!
Don't borrow trouble is something my GF tells me when I start worrying about getting my methadone prescription filled within the 3-day period here in NYC. I also have panic attacks and agoraphobia which makes it a freaking nightmare for me to travel without her or a friend, but sometimes I have to "wing" it and go by myself.
These are some of the strategies I used to get through a stressful situation. They took years to cultivate, trust me, but I worked with my sponsor on roleplaying traveling situations and I recall getting panicked if the plan didn't go as planned. But, if I wanted to use, I went to an NA meeting, called someone, came to SR and post, etc.
Relapsing is not the answer. Switching from methadone to suboxone on your own is not anything to play with or to even think about,
Night owl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Orion spur of the Milky Way galaxy
Posts: 2,050
Thanks ksos , I'll think about what you said.
As far as switching, I cannot afford withdrawals Right now with lawyer and court appointments. If I muss appts. I can wind up in jail.(
As far as switching, I cannot afford withdrawals Right now with lawyer and court appointments. If I muss appts. I can wind up in jail.(
Night owl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Orion spur of the Milky Way galaxy
Posts: 2,050
Just to update, I also wrote about this in my other thread. Well, I have been given a reprieve. I have been talking with my old doc, we've been clearing the air about things which has been really good. I also found out that she tried to help me early on, tried to stop charges being brought against me. I didn't know that. All I knew, from what I saw, was that she hated me. Turned out I was wrong.
So she is being willing to help me temporarily, while I struggle to find a new doctor, with the methadone. So for now at least I don't have to switch for which I am SO grateful. The naloxone in the suboxone makes me depressed and I really didn't want to have to go there, but I felt desperate.
But for now I can still take the methadone and she's weaning me down. It's not a long term solution, so I really hope I can find a doc willing to take me in the next couple of weeks. There's got to be someone willing to give me a chance. I hope.
So she is being willing to help me temporarily, while I struggle to find a new doctor, with the methadone. So for now at least I don't have to switch for which I am SO grateful. The naloxone in the suboxone makes me depressed and I really didn't want to have to go there, but I felt desperate.
But for now I can still take the methadone and she's weaning me down. It's not a long term solution, so I really hope I can find a doc willing to take me in the next couple of weeks. There's got to be someone willing to give me a chance. I hope.
Night owl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Orion spur of the Milky Way galaxy
Posts: 2,050
Just rereading people's posts. I like to do that, find I see something I missed or my brain finally has a response. I'm one of those slow response type people, got to cogitate on stuff for awhile. Killed me in school because my questions were always two weeks later after we'd already moved on, oh well.
CleaninLI, you mentioned choosing drug treatment but in talking with my counselor she strongly encouraged me to go for mental health court vs. drug court. She said that being familiar with the drug court and me and felt the other might be the better choice. I gotta talk with her and lawyer again. It's hard to know what to choose. The fact that I'm in IOP with my counselor still, I hope would be in my favor.
The lawyer said my being on Disability for PTSD and Depression was also in my favor (although that sounds weird saying that, being in "my favor," as if mental illness is just so advantageous, lol).
Ksos, you are also right that switching is nothing to mess with and I was taking it seriously. I was also feeling panicky so that probably came through, too. But I was going to be as careful as I could.
It's great you found a therapist to help. I'm still without one. I have my counselor but that's addictions counseling and limited. Someone recommended someone as a therapist who was brilliant and amazingly helpful when I talked to her on the phone. Unfortunately I couldn't afford her and she couldn't do pro bono then but I'd sure like to see her. Maybe I'll try giving her another call.
And soberwolf, thank you for all the hugs and support!
CleaninLI, you mentioned choosing drug treatment but in talking with my counselor she strongly encouraged me to go for mental health court vs. drug court. She said that being familiar with the drug court and me and felt the other might be the better choice. I gotta talk with her and lawyer again. It's hard to know what to choose. The fact that I'm in IOP with my counselor still, I hope would be in my favor.
The lawyer said my being on Disability for PTSD and Depression was also in my favor (although that sounds weird saying that, being in "my favor," as if mental illness is just so advantageous, lol).
Ksos, you are also right that switching is nothing to mess with and I was taking it seriously. I was also feeling panicky so that probably came through, too. But I was going to be as careful as I could.
It's great you found a therapist to help. I'm still without one. I have my counselor but that's addictions counseling and limited. Someone recommended someone as a therapist who was brilliant and amazingly helpful when I talked to her on the phone. Unfortunately I couldn't afford her and she couldn't do pro bono then but I'd sure like to see her. Maybe I'll try giving her another call.
And soberwolf, thank you for all the hugs and support!
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