Ididit

hello to my sober recovery family!

Today marks 65 days for me. I still cannot believe it. I am so incredibly happy to see everybody still posting and checking in.

Marvin- congrats on dumping the poison. That is a really big deal. I remember getting rid of my last methadone pill, it was incredibly liberating and refreshing knowing I finally had closure. Wow I really do remember that day vividly. 38 days for you now! WOW! That is unbelievable. Are you feeling better? How much sleep are you getting? Any psychical symptoms?

I am still going to treatment everyday, taking things day by day. I found that finally my brain is going back to its old self. I am starting to get excited about the little things in life. Also now that I'm off the poison, I pay attention more to detail and I am realizing more about peoples personalities. In short, I am seeing people different- a good different though.. things I wasn't able to recognize before. I love it. I am so in touch with emotion and my brain is clearer. I can think logically and rationally. The only thing I am still struggling with is my memory. I cant seem to remember anything its kind of scary actually I am hoping that it is just temporary. I also have some psychical symptoms still including runny nose and sneezing every morning.. but it is tolerable. I stopped working out like I used to everyday because these treatment programs I go to daily are such a mental workout. My brain is actually learning to think again which is awesome.

Charcole- good job on getting of the poison... you are an inspiration to all of us here! Thank you for sharing your story. We all really appreciate that.

Blackok- congrats on 2 weeks darling! How is your sleep and how is your psychical symptoms?

So happy that everyone is still posting! It is wonderful. We are all doing this. My next task is to quit cigarettes but honestly I have no intentions of doing that until 6 months clean off the poison. I don't need extra stresses right now, LOL.

Blacklok

To answer the question ididit. ...physically, sleep I'm working my ass off so I'm sleeping like a baby but only for 4 or 5 hours every morning but that's ok!!! Beats 5 days no sleep work is hard ...and I mean hard!! Almost got the best of me the first night nearly walked out..I stand on my feet 8 to 12 hours every evening/night in pain...my feet my legs..but I don't even care I freaking like it cuz I can sing again omw 2 work...I can wake up and not be late to work cuz I forgot my dose the 2 people in my personal life (yall count too now) tell me how proud they are of me every day, and that is what keeps me goin!! Physically sure...it hurts! But now I can sleep with NO BENZOS!! And that's awesome. ...just sneezing 75 times a day and achy legs n feet from standing all day...emotionally a whole different story...up and down... crying.then laughing. ..it's so strange I literally forgot what I was like inside methadone/pain pills took 8 years of my life but never again!!!

marvin59

Ididit, you know that destroying the last of my poison gave me a huge flood of emotions. Now I can say that, there's truly no going back. It is liberating to me now, I am glade that I listened to every one. Sleep is still a bit of hit and miss. I get about 6 hours at best but then that is much better than 2. I still sneeze like a machine gun, the time between attacks are getting further apart. My legs are still twitching at night, but that is getting better. I can breathe and that makes me PROUD.


Blacklok, it is nice to realize that I don't have to remember my pills. I remember being somewhere and I didn't have my pills, panic would sit in. Don't have that on my mind any more. That is a very good feeling indeed.

Blacklok

Sick I just found a half bottle of methadone in my car while cleaning it out I've went thru this whole thing not knowing it was there.. (17 days) that was hard for me...maybe the surprise of finding it? Idk I thought to myself. ..juuuuust a little would be ok.. but I know that's not me thinking that's the drug talking. Anyway. ..my gf was there n she took it to the dump I thought I had this thing nipped in the bud but apparently if I See it I want it ....hopefully that'll be the last time that ever happens....I understand why people have sponsors now completely

marvin59

Blacklok, way to go buddy. As you know I just did the same thing. Was not easy but you will feel strength and relief. You don't need to worry about forgetting your pills when you go somewhere ever again. Good job.

marvin59

I just have to share, yesterday the sun was out. I took the dogs for a walk. I sat in the sun for an hour and played the guitar for two hours. Oh my God, it was such a good day. It's now been 43 days, it feels like a lifetime since I stopped the poison. I just pray that I have more days like yesterday. My sleep is getting better slowly, I still have twitchy legs at times, and my strength is coming back. Now all I have to do is drop the weight that I gained during this process, and I will be a happy camper.

One thing that I found out,I have been taking melatonin to help with sleep. They can give a person quite a few side effects. I read in my research that you should only take them for about two month's tops. I don't know if any one else is using that substance but I thought I would inform you all. Nothing to stressed about, backwards it is desserts.

I wish that life has been good for all. You guy's will always be in my thoughts. There's not a day goes by that I don't silently thank you folks.

Ididit

Marvin, so glad that you had such a wonderful day. That is awesome news. Wow day 43 for you darling. You must and should feel very proud of yourself. Not a lot of people can do what we have done. We beat the poison. I'm almost at 3 months, I can't wait until I can say I've made it three months. That will be a refreshing feeling. Being sober is too good to trade in for anything else. There's nothing more that I want more than to stay sober.

I've never tried the melatonin, because I'm currently taking clonodine. I've been taking it for the last 70 days, and it helps me with sleep. And I totally understand the twitchy legs, mine went away completely around day 60. But I'm still sneezing up a storm everyday... 70 days later! I hear some people say they sneezed for 3 months. But sneezing is the last of my worries. Marvin how are you holding up mentally? Glad to hear your back playing the guitar. Overall how would you rate your mood? Are you still have anxiety ? Any concerns? Thanks for always checking up!!

Blakok - how are you holding up? What day are you on?? How's your sleep?? Hope all is well to my family at sober recovery. You guys are my strength.

Thinking of all of you!

TiredEnough

Marvin and Ididit, you guys are solid as a rock. That's great to see and I know it inspires alot of people around here.

Funny story about melatonin. So, I am in wd from a ct off benzos (stopped opies about 2 weeks prior so very little sleep). It was absolutely miserable and I couldn't sleep for days. I get so desperate one night at 5am that I break down and take some melatonin. It does nothing and I get up at 7 never having slept. We get a call that a car we had been looking for is in at a dealership 6 hours away. The car is German, rare, and they arent going to hold it so we have to go. About 10am, the melatonin hits me. I am so tired I cant see straight but I have to make it. We drive the 6 hours, spend 2 hours at the dealership, eat, drive 6 hours back. I ended up getting back in bed at 2am the next morning. Still no sleep that night either, but I was so p*ssed at the melatonin I refused to take it again. Maybe the longest day of my life.

OpioPhobe

I just wanted to pop in and wish everyone well. It is inspirational to see that you are not only winning, but owning it.

Marvin - I am happy that you had a great day. It is a real treat when you can actually enjoy a day without drugs. I think it is so important to "make hay while the sun shines" and enjoy those days to the fullest. If you feel yourself in a rut down the road don't forget about those good days, and always remember that there are more good days to come.

Ididit - I had to laugh when you said sneezing is the last of your worries. That reminds me of my days when I would read up on all the symptoms of opiate withdrawal and sneezing, runny eyes and runny nose would always make the list. That was the least of my problems. Could you imagine someone saying "I can deal with no sleep, bone pains, thrashing in bed at night and severe mental depression, but man this runny nose is killing me...I don't think I am going to make it". If sneezing is the problem right now you are golden.

Blacklok

Figured I'd pop in real quick sorry guys I don't have much time I'm currently on break at work. Phew boy I didn't know what was ahead of me guys!! Day 20 now!! Feels sooo good but I swear my energy is GONE!!! I used to be one of if not the hardest workers in this warehouse now I feel like one of the lazy ones lol. Oh well maybe I'll feel better at 1 month or 2 month mark. I'm keepin my head up sleepin decent some nights better than others, night sweats tho. Sneezing like crazy achy feet but I no longer crave which is awesome anyway thank you guys for thinking about me and helping me thru this 3 weeks off the poison woo hoo! !

TiredEnough

Blacklok is a BEAST! Dude, you are tough as a pine knot

marvin59

Blacklok, dude you such a fighter. I am so impressed. Truthfully I would have gotten in a car wreck at day 20. You are truly impressive, a rock star. Way to go, keep up the great work.

Blacklok

I promise you guys I wanna walk out on my Job every day....but I am what science likes to call a "functioning addict" I have a mortgage, car pymt, family (fiancee& my dog) to support, I could give a crap about my home and car if I was by myself I'd still be at the clinic I'm sure...but the last thing...family..loved ones. ...those are the ones we can't continue to let down as addicts. I don't think people understand what it's like not even scientists unless they've been there themselves. ..but there have been points in this coming clean in which the methadone has nearly won over everything...but I think I've found a switch inside somehow and shut it off!! An addiction kill switch if you will. That and motivation for the ones who've gotten me thru this including you all!! It ain't easy...but what good things in life come easy?

OpioPhobe

How is everyone holding up? I hope you guys are still going strong.

marvin59

Howdy all, I hope and pray that all is well with my family here. I can't believe that I have been off that crap for 49 days. I started that poison many years ago do to an industrial accident, which left me with chronic pain and a dissabilaty. Many operations plus an implanted device and here I am. Once my brain has cleared and I took a look at my pain, I don't think that the poison did any good at all. Maybe at first but really I think it did nothing but cause me a big problem overall. I still have chronic pain but it is no worse than when I was taking methadone. What an incredibly waste of time, money. I am free of which has controlled my life for many years. I am so happy and proud of myself.

Blacklok

Day 27, man I don't even know what to say yall....it gets easier! ! You gon have your good days and your bad...but the reason that's so hard for us addicts is bcuz we went numbed...masked if you will for soooooo long we forgot what a bad day was like! ! Good day/bad day....heck that's just life!! I will say this Im like you marvin, I almost feel stupid for staying on the poison so long 8 freaking years of my life all that $$ wasted....lost my 20s to opioids...I'm now 29 HA!! I get 1 year at least maybe someone who reads this can get a grip n let go of that crap I feel good ANY time I hear another soul has been freed!!

marvin59

Blacklok, it still amazes me that a chemical can controll a life to the extent that this one can. I think you are rite on the money about the ups and downs, that is just life. I wish too that someone could read what we all have been posting, and make the decision to take controll of their life back. That would really make me proud for sure.

TiredEnough

Coming up on the big 30, Blacklok! How kick *ss is that???

Marvin, I think people will read this and see that anything is possible. Most say methadone is the pinnacle of tough to quit drugs and you guys did it! Surely anyone on vics, percs or oxy can look at this and say, I can do it too.

marvin59

I made to day 60 yea me. I am so glad I got of the methadone. I didn't think this day would ever come. I am so happy, it is such a relief knowing that I will never have worry about forgetting or taking them again. I still have some withdrawl symptoms but they are small thing except sleeping, but I do think it will get to normal before long. Thank you guys for helping me throughout this process. I hope every one is doing well and staying healthy. When I talk to friends I tell them about my family that helped me through a very significant part of my life. Thanks guys.

Blacklok

Day 38, As you all can surely see the timestamp it's 4 am and I'm still suffering the insomnia from methadone withdrawal. You know what tho? I made it thru the work week and I continue to keep on going knowing I'm not 100 % better yet but I'm sure as hell better off than I was on methadone! Every day is a challenge and for a while I felt like something was missing, I'm just now starting to get to where I understand how amazing my life is going to be without the expense/habit of that monkey on my back. Mad at myself for putting myself thru so many years of dependency due to fear of withdrawal. It was hard to quit don't get me wrong but i know a part of every addict wants to and it's SO worth the pain cuz a pill/medicine is DEFINITELY not worth throwing your life away or running your life in any way!!