Believer2

I know little of drugs and less about addiction. I met a man five months ago and I am very happy. He treats me and my kids great. Maybe I found the one. Except I found out he is on suboxone. He hasn't shared much with me and hasn't told me he is in recovery. I know he goes to the dr once a month and I know he has the film. He had his prescription on his dresser one day and I looked up what it was. Well the other day I got in his car and it smelled like weed. I said nothing because I am pretty sure this is not a habit but something done occasionally. He drinks on occasion but that is rare. Today I was doing his laundry and a syringe cap came out if his pants pocket. Aslo there is an empty two pack of insulin syringe wrappers in his bed room trash. There was also a towel under his pants with blood in it. The other day there was blood on the side of his tub that looked like it had been sprayed there. He told me he didn't know why there would be blood on his tub. Ok so I am putting things together now and not sure what to do. Someone spell out for me carefully what I am looking at. I tend to believe the eat in people and don't want to jump to the wrong conclusuion but I am not a stupid person either. Do I ask him about it? Will he lie and have an excuse? I know he has been using for over 16 yrs but I don't know what or any facts.

trinity77

My only personal experience is with pills, alcohol, and weed, but my father is a heroin addict, so I know a little about that. First of all, you need to sit down, alone, and have a serious talk. Hopefully, he will be honest with you, so you know exactly what you are dealing with, and can decide if it is even something you want to deal with. OK, you know for sure he is prescribed suboxone and regularly sees a doctor? Or could he just be telling you that and he abuses subs bought on the street? If he does go to a Dr, they should be drug testing him every visit. You are finding some serious clues. God forbid, he leaves something dangerous laying around and your kids get into it. I am not trying to say you are naive, but the world of drugs and addiction cannot be fully understood unless you live it. It changes people, their moods, their attitude, everything...over time-and also in a matter of seconds if he is using. I know you think he is the one, but if he has a monkey on his back, the monkey will always come first, before you, before your kids...My personal opinion, from what you have shared, he is definitely still using and will deny and lie about it all. Take the time to read some of the stories on here. Some are not pretty, not all end well. Do you want to expose your children to this? Think long and hard...Good luck!

Believer2

So I left the cap on his dresser. Told him his clothes were folded on his bed. Went in after him and the cap was gone so I asked if he found the syringe cap I found and he said yeah. I said what are the syringes for and he said its no twlling how long it's been in there that his room needed cleaned. I said oh cause it was in your pants pocket and said what about the empty syringe wrappers in your trash and he said he didn't know but I could tell he knew he was busted. He just left to go to the store and wouldn't look at me. I forgot to mention the bloody towel. I bet he says he cut himself shaving. If I ask to check his arms what am I looking for?

Midwest181

11 years ago I was injecting OxyContin , morphine, dilaudid, and when I couldn't get them I would do heroin. Somehow crushing the pills seems not as bad. Great logic.

I did not know of suboxone then so I was just sick if no pills. A lot of people today use suboxone when they can't find the opiate of choice.

If he's shooting he will also have a lighter and maybe a spoon or pop can to heat. Carrying these will leave char marks in you pockets and sometimes hands from constantly holding a flame under them. Also check the syringe. The tip might have black chars from clogging from the drug or coagulated blood. An addict has to heat the needle and push force on it to unclogg it. This shoots some bood in a thin dotted line.

Sorry to hear about this. I would do research. When you are messed up you can leave stuff around like the end caps for the needle (plunger cap) not needle sheath. If you ask without all the evidence he will make something up.

I never used a dirty needle and I used bottled water thinking I was being sterile.
Most don't do this. Everyone thought I was wasting money and othernaddicts asked for my old needles since they were used only once and still sharp..
Even being careful I got septic Pseudomonas from the water and spent 6 weeks in the hospital and had I machine pumping antibiotics through me for 4 more when I got out. Then during rehab I had septic staph infection.. 4 weeks in hospital. Both in blood stream and should have killed me.

If they are insulin syringes, .30 unit , .50 unit or 100 unit and there is blood in them then he is shooting some sort of drug.

Tough love got me clean. I lost everything first though.

It can be solved and beat. Stay positive. Encourage sobriety and don't enable I'm.

Good luck

Believer2

I didn't find the needles. Just the empty insulin needle wrappers in his bedroom trash. Two caps, orange. One in his pants pocket. Bloody towel and blood on his bath tub. My mom is diabetic so I know insulin needles. So is he shooting?

Midwest181

I would assume so. Those orange caps got me busted all the time.
Does he wear long sleeves? Do you do laundry? Check all his clothes for blood spots. Or ask to see his arms and legs. If he just started he might not have many holes but if he's been doing it for awhile he will have a lot of marks. When shooting you go down hill fast. Mentally, physically, detached from everything and nothing is important, anxious to find the next drug so if he seem inconvenienced if you try and keep him there or ask him to go run errands it would be a good time to ask him why and if he's using.

mialicious

It's important to know addiction controls the addict and everything about him/her. Having been a heroin user and still in recovery, I've seen alot of junkies, and heard even more lies. Hopefully you understand that until your boyfriend wants help or admits he has a problem, he will be at the mercy of the drug. Maybe you should ask him about it. But be prepared, he will probably lie. There's a very fine line between "caring" and "enabling"...So be careful with that one too. I wish you and your kids the best.

airmankenyon

for your own sanity and the overall happiness and safety of your kids, have a heart to heart and tell him if he cares about you one iota to tell you the truth. all the arrows point to either iv use of pain pills or even worse heroin. if he was diabetic im sure ya wouldve noticed him taking his inuslin by now. i believe like suboxone that is a daily medical need, but my grandmother was diabetic and i took care of her quite a bit and i do not recall a bloody mess stemming from her insulin injections. his behavior in reaction to your inquiry already points to the he is hiding much more from you category. and depending on his age, his car smelled like weed? i am currently 34 years old and used weed almost everyday until i went into the air force at 19 years of age,and have never used it in the 15 years since. I dont get why men/women find the need to use weed later in their lives, it runs it course in high school/college. I am not against weed at all per say, but to me its a plant not a drug and should be used for experimentation in the younger years of your youthful life, anything past that is just juvenile. take care believer i hope you get the answer youre not only looking for, but are entitled to! be aware though myself included being a former addict, we can paint a world so vivid and fake that you will believe almost anything we say. its sad, but unfortunately true

airmankenyon

midwest- you hit the nail on the head in a ton of your posts and replies. i am brand new here and have enjoyed your insight. i pray this woman here is not dealing with a heroin addict who is back on the wagon!

Believer2

I walked away. My mom is diabetic as wl as four of her sisters so I know he is not diabetic. He did paint a very beautiful picture of our life together. That is what makes it painful. I begged him to talk to me and told him multiple times I didn't want our relationship to end but he ignores me. In the end he told me we had been over for a while which I know is a lie. He is turning this around in me and says he owes me no explanation of the needles. I found out to he had been to prision multiple times for trafficking in cocaine. Even though I believe in second chances as believing the best of people bottom line is he didn't care enough to talk to me about his last. Didn't trust me enough and I deserve 100% better than that. I am really working on understanding my self worth so I think I did what is the best for me. I have to learn from this and believing someone who lies. I wanted to believe in him but he made a fool out of me. I appreciate all your responses.

Believer2

Airman I agree with you about the weed. I experimented in high school but at 18 I got a full time job and that was that. I asked him about the weed and he told me that weed wasn't a real drug. Thing that is disappointing is he has a 14 and 12 yr old that he was driving around in that car. And they know the smell. His 14 yr old will be in high school this coming school yr. since it's not a real drug wonder how he would feel if his 14 yr old started smoking it. I can only really pray for them. The mom is currently in prision and my ex boyfriend would tell me often she was a junkie. Made her out to be a real loser but know I understand how addicts do that. Deflect blame on someone else. There is no other explanation in my opinion for the syringes and the blood every where unless I am really that dumb and missing something big.

Faithlove

Believer2,
I know this is going to sound harsh, but he just gave you a very good gift, by telling you it was over.

He's an addict. He appears to be active in his addiction.
Addicts who are active in their addiction lie. A lot. To anyone and everyone.

Please go over to the Friends and Family of Substance Abusers board and read the stickies and feel free to post.

Welcome to SR! I'm glad you found it!

Tricia40444

Just know that when people are relapseing especiallybcan be very sneaky they are probably still in denial themselves. You have to take a tough stand. He will get away with as much as possible. Dont let it be possible

aquashift

My 2 cents:
this guy sounds like hes an addict trying to wrestle with and overcome his demons. He doesnt need you snooping around and rifling through his stuff. I would advise you to mind your business. You already know hes an addict. If you can deal with that and you guys get along then stay with him and mind your business. If you can't handle it leave. But don't act like a detective and then go on a public forum hanging out dirty laundry.