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day 3 - no methadone

Old 03-19-2012, 04:40 PM
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My phone is a ******... sorry for double posts...
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Old 03-19-2012, 04:46 PM
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@stopdrop <3n the phoenix - I jst relized this <3 how appropriate!
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Old 03-19-2012, 05:21 PM
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You are well on your way. Keep up the good work. Good luck on your journey into recovery. Logo
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Old 03-19-2012, 08:17 PM
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So glad to hear how well you are doing, bcHElovesme!!! You are indeed one strong young woman, and I have a feeling you have quite a bright future ahead of you. Good for you for kicking it now rather than wasting 10, 20 or more years. It's so encouraging to hear success stories and to know that there are people who are determined and can do what they put their mind to. Thank you for coming to this board and for sharing your recovery process with us! Hugs and prayers still coming your way for your continued recovery and success!!!
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Old 03-19-2012, 09:34 PM
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Originally Posted by bcHElovesme View Post
@stopdrop <3n the phoenix - I jst relized this <3 how appropriate!
Thank you. It actually came to me during the first week of withdrawals, sometime in the wee hours of the morning when I couldn't sleep because my body was on fire! It was as if I had an epiphany in my delerium. I've used it as my motto and focus for not just recovery, but my entire life. I've become a different, better person in 3 weeks, and doing better each day. I hope you are too.
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Old 03-19-2012, 09:37 PM
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So inspiring! Thank you for sharing your experience and thought process...it is stories like your own that are the tiny flicker of light at the end of my tunnel.
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Old 03-19-2012, 09:42 PM
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I don't think necessarily that the methadone is that bad. If I didn't get onto it I'd still be taking pills. It took away that want to do the pills and I don't crave methadone like I did on pills. Its just hard to get off because they let you go as high on your dose as you want. If I would've went into the clinic and just went up to like 60mgs then down from there to 1mg I would've only been there for a year or so instead of 4 yrs, because they let me go all the way to 160mgs.
There used to be clinics that would do a 10 day or 30 day to get off pills using methadone. Maybe thats what these stupid clinics need to do instead!!
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Old 03-20-2012, 08:58 AM
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@utcandy1 I completely agree methadone did help me stabilize & I didn't get the urge to use those evil blue pills anymore - but you can go from completely normal to even worse than before. I was so good for the first 4 days but about the end of tht day I was driving to a friends house & I started shaking so bad and SO cold it was unbelievable how quick I lost all security.
@Gracie this site was the ONLY thing I had & the ONLY support I had during this entire process - it is a GOD SEND <3 I had ppl tht let me rant for pages & pages about stuff I myself had forgotten all about. Thy explained, shared, & prayed for me whn no one else would. Its amazing & completely blows my mind that complete strangers held it down for me & continue to do so everyday. I left my husband - was in the process of moving out into another home - I lost it completely but the love & support from here slowly but SURELY helped me put the missing pieces back together <3

I slept 12 hours completely natural & by myself last night! I'm still battle the craving for drugs first thing whn I wake up. And depression is really setting in especially in the a.m & sometimes I cry & cry but to feel again is pure joy. I still look like a skeleton but I rock these bones proudly now bc thy are my battle wounds & a reminder of what I hv now conquered. 110lbs but I can eat REAL food again, not jst sugar sugar sugar, & will put those 30lbs on again the right way! I had a marathon scheduled for next month but instead of running a marathon every yr on my bday I'm going to run them on my sobriety date - my day I decided to LIVE & not jst merely exist. I <3 you ALL
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Old 03-20-2012, 09:12 AM
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Sounds like you have got it covered. Good luck on your journey into recovery. Love and Respect. Logo
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Old 03-22-2012, 11:34 PM
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Oh my oh my these sleepless nights... and a steady headache for about 3 days now, & I've developed acne? Nvr had it before, wondering if its related to the methadone wd? And my eyes are so dilated I cnt see hardly anything! Are acne & dilated pupils apart of this process? Ill tk it over intense tummy cramping, projectile vomit, & crazy leg syndrome any day! I thought dilated pupils were something I got from uppers so I'm kinda confused why I'm 100% sober but I look a serious tweeker? I tested myself on Tuesday & I am completely 100% clean for the first time in years! Now to get there natural endorphins going & dig deep for some energy & ill bet set!
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Old 03-23-2012, 05:23 AM
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Not sure about the acne although would not be surprised, but I remember the first time I detoxed off pills after a long run everything looked brighter. I think it was because my pupils were always pin points when using and after getting clean they shot back the other way. Colors were very bright and things looked a bit strange. Obviously go see a doctor if you are concerned or things do not get better. Headaches were pretty common. Just make sure you get lots of fluids. You are doing great!!!
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Old 03-23-2012, 08:50 AM
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Yeah your eyes are dilated because its the natural way lol. The methadone does the same thing pills do and makes them tiny. That's why I sleep with a sleeping mask over my eyes. I tried last night without it and I kept waking up! And I also had a headache for 4 days in your stage. I also noticed some acne too.... but my cycle also started then. I figured it was from that but maybe it was from getting off the methadone lol.

Try some B6 for some energy. There's also a martial arts called MP (Merpati Putih) that helps find power from within yourself to get that energy. I don't know about where you live but here they have like 1 or 2 classes a week that they do for free.

Here's some info on it: Merpati Putih is different than any Martial Art ever seen ANYWHERE in the Western Hemisphere before it's public release. What makes MP special is the unique ability to quickly Develop, Harness, and Control large Amounts of Tenaga Dalam or Inner Power -(also called Chi, Ki, Prana, Subtle Energy, or Bio Energy) Using a very specific and patented series of body postures, breathing techniques and meditation in a non-religious, non-sectarian, biological way, Merpati Putih is truly one of the world's rarities that allows its practitioners to feel this energy within themselves and use it to improve their lives very soon after beginning.
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Old 03-23-2012, 09:01 AM
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Hey bcHElovesme...

Wanted to check in and see how your doing? Hope your staying strong and hanging in there. We are all here for you!

I know you can do it! If I can do it (and I'm a total wimp) so can you!

Let us know how its going?

Olivia *big hug*
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Old 03-23-2012, 10:10 AM
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@bcHElovesme I too had headaches, dilated pupils AND I got a few pimples here and there that I don't normally get.....but everything in your body is changing, pretend it's growing pains and puberty You will get past it in a few days. Ibuprofen seems to help my headaches much better now that the opiates are out of me, though admittedly I don't have many now, and when I do they usually pass on their own without anything (I was basically and Excedrin Migraine addict for years too!!)...haven't taken anything in over a week for a headache. You are doing good, keep it up!!
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Old 03-23-2012, 11:45 PM
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You all are AMAZING <3 @UTcandy I'm so happy yo put the 2 & 2 together for me... duh! NoI hvnt had tht lovely time in 2 years! I started a week ago & cldnt BELIEVE it! Glad u connected the dots for me thanks wow - I've been so focused on getting through the pain of this wd tht I totally forgot about the beauty in my body doing its own natural process, I'm kinda stoked about now
@Marcus I actually noticed my pupils after I ran! Well it also might of had something to do w/ not seeing the light of day for weeks - but while I was running I had a hard time seeing the difference between reflectors or headlights & every light was surrounded by a huge dome so ckd my eyes out whn I made it to my car & I immediately started to panic & running the entire day through my mind thinking I was living my dreams and if i had accidentally taken something (WHEN I do sleep every single time I'll dream of doing drugs & immediately be consumed by guilt & angry tht I realized how lng I've been clean only AFTER I used-weird I knw) & PRAYING I wldnt get pulled over! I'm glad to hear ths - I was starting to wonder if I had permanently damaged my body from detoxing CT off of of such a high mg! There is jst a tiny outline of blue surrounding my pupils in broad daylight - I was freaking! Soooo relieved to hear ths is normal
@stopdrop - you were right... its 2 weeks + & it arrived sooner thn I expected - whn u dnt sleep for weeks straight everything blurs together & u swear its never going to end - the days seem to move @ agonizing slow rate but go by so fast!
@olivia- things are going OK now. I'm not gonna lie - its still difficult but not nearly as difficult as a week ago. My body still aches, I still fight a nvr ending battle evry morning trying not to think too much about how easily it wld be to jst tk something & mk life easier right now. But thn I think about all the pain vomiting shaking tremors crazy arm leg crap & near insanity I've encountered, why invest so much pain time & not follow through? I was foolish not once but twice about the affects of opiates - 1 roxis - 2 methadone - you hv to face the music one day & tht solely was the ONLY thing tht stopped me from tkg the suboxone, I wld yet again jst be going down this same road... No way - methadone did me IN. No way in hell I'm going through this again! I still am down mentally but I've managed to get myself busy whn I start w/ the boo hooing - running, yoga, circuit training, biking but my body still cnt tolerate anything hardcore or anything over an hour or so. I hv decided tht its best not to time myself or track my distance - it jst get frustrated & disappointed tht its taking so long to get where I was b4 ths. If I go to the gym I do circuit training ONLY & avoid the treadmill & strength training so I cn focus more on wht I'm able to do rather thn wht I cnt right now. I also decided not to see my pt for a while so I dnt hv to measure up to anyonejs ability but my own right now (my pt is brutal) she's an awesome trainer but dsnt really tk 'I cant' or 'no' very well. I've had to mk a lot of adjustments & A LOT of soul searching to be content & accepting of where I am right here right now. And it truly is comforting to tk it min by min instead of obsessing about the future - feelings of inadequacy & inferiority are NOT something I can add to my plate right now!
a friend told me yesterday tht u hv to believe in yourself to accomplished anything in life - 3 yrs ago I wld hv thought ugh how cliche - but it really hit home this time - I realized tht I had nvr really believed in myself before now. I've accomplished many things as an athlete but I hv been running, playing soccer, & cheering from age 7 - it was jst going through the motions. Now I knw tht I can endure physical, mental, & emotional situations. I feel now tht I've gone through this for a reason -it does serve a purpose. When I run now I actually feel high & euphoric afterwards. Its been a LONG time since I've felt my body naturally produce its own happiness &euphoria! Its painful to move, insomnia, extreme fatigue. I still hvnt been able to get rid of the yawning & constant cold goosey bumps but I'm OK w/ this - its mind over matter at this point. On St. Patty's day of course I had to suck it up & eat w/ family - tht was rough as I hv 0 appetite & hubby wntd to go out afterwards ugh tht was a rough day... I'm not quite ready to be social social social quite yet but I'm getting there other thn tht I feel OK, everything in due time... thanks for asking about my progress & all the great advice! Sorry sucha long post! You all are wonderful & thnks again!
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Old 03-24-2012, 03:16 AM
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Wow BcHElovesme...... you are an amazing person. What you said to olivia really made me think a little more too. Your coming weeks are gonna be so much easier! It took me to the middle of my 3rd week before I decided I wanna go hang out with my friend's again!! The only thing i still have and sucks is those goose bumps and my feet and hands sweet a lot, sometimes even when I'm cold! Oh yeah and sneezing......and its always 3 times in a row for some reason lol
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Old 03-25-2012, 02:23 PM
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Utcandy - YOU are amazing as well I read everything I cld tht uv posted our situations are so similar <3 I feel ya on the sneezing & yawning girl! Me too! For some reason it mks me feel better whn I sneeze idk its weird. I always sneeze twice three is awesome I dnt think I've ever done tht! This weekend is TUFF & unfortunately sometimes you hv to face the consequences of your past a little later than expected. I really need as many prayers as I can get right now - I'm going to leave it at tht for now but otherwise recovery is going good & I'm relieved I had the ability to detox on my own terms & tht I listened to wht my <3 was telling me. I believe tht now I can live the rest of my life being slave to NOTHING & I am so thankful for God's grace & mercy bc Ive read & researched HORROR stories. I
It was no walk in the park BELIEVE ME but I didn't end up in the ER, didn't seize, & of course I didn't die (I often wonder if possible death from meth w/d is related to a underlying unknown condition) & I didn't end up in a psych Ward so I'm counting my blessings! I will hv a hard time posting until everything blows over but I will try to post whn possible about my progress thanks everyone again <3 I will nto say tht enough! You all were essential to my recovery!
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Old 03-26-2012, 08:14 AM
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Way to go, bc!!! So glad to hear an update of your progress! Lots of us still sending prayers and hugs your way
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Old 03-26-2012, 03:17 PM
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@bcHElovesme P.s. - A month later, I too still have the double-sneeze at least 15 times a day + the fatigue....so I think some of us just get stuck with it for a bit
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Old 04-05-2012, 06:13 PM
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Thinking of you! <3
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