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day 3 - no methadone

Old 03-18-2012, 10:15 AM
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No hvnt taken them I'm not good right now tho I'm desperate for some relief I'm moving out of my house tomorrow so it's game time gotta do something to pull it together - I hvnt figured tht part out yet tho. Ill hv to venture outside tomorrow - hv some SERIOUS anxiety about this.
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Old 03-18-2012, 12:10 PM
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I wanted to post about day 10 & I've had a huge break through & want others to be able to read this & know that the mental part of this is JUST as important as the physical. This morning was especially hard. I left my husband a couple of days ago & retreated to a local hotel - I wouldn't talk to him for days but he would call the front desk to ring me to assure I was still alive & to see if I had any requests.. I've hid a lot of things these last couple of years tht were eating me ALIVE inside. I got out of the Jacuzzi I had been in for days LITERALLY put on sweats tht were hanging off of me (I've lost 30 lbs) and went to church this afternoon - I cried the entire time & I'm pretty sure thy were speaking to
me directly. I prayed & received prayer for the first time in a weeks & while I'm still n pain I'm enlightened & renewed. I called my mom dad hubby & besty & revealed all. My mom has known for a year now & has prayed relentlessly since finding a bottle in my bathroom tht 1 yr ago. I witnessed my father crying for the first time EVER & he said he hurt so deeply knowing his only daughter is hurting so badly physically & emotionally & he cannot fix it & proceeded to ask what he did wrong? This was the very thing I was trying to avoid the entire time. I had the perfect upbringing. Hard working God fearing sober parents I hv never even seen drink a glass of wine. How do you explain this to a hurting parent? My husband is supportive & continues to support me & understands my reasoning for not wanting children for a while & we now stand as a united front once again. I am not 100% physically but mentally & emotionally I'm so much better - you will break hearts along the way but if someone's heart is breaking bc of your pain thy are so worth hvg & knwg the REAL YOU. things can only go up from here - this I know!
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Old 03-18-2012, 12:22 PM
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I've also recently came off methadone. I was at 50 mgs, and on it for 4 yrs, got all the way to 160mgs. I'm at week 3 now. When I was at were you are now I was thinking about getting some suboxones too....but I didn't and I'm so glad I didn't because your just gotta restart the withdrawals. Get some chocolate (just a normal plain chocolate bar), seriously it helps, I still have to eat some in the mornings and then I finally get the strength to get out of bed.

I made a post yesterday about everything I went through check it out and see if maybe it can help you a little :-) It's called Quit Cold Turkey!! I'm to new to post a link apparently....
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Old 03-18-2012, 12:32 PM
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@utcandy1 <3 will do ASAP thanks for sharing - are you sleeping & eating OK now at week 3? Does ur body still ache?
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Old 03-18-2012, 01:11 PM
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I was also blessed with not as many sleeping problems, falling asleep in the first two weeks was hard and staying asleep more then 6 hrs a night was hard, I also tossed and turned alot. In week 3 its gotten a little better, but I'm still not sleeping like I used to by any means! I always forced myself to eat every time I was hungry, even if it was just a cracker here or there.
My body aches a little if I do to much, and I kept getting headaches but starting into my week 4 now my headaches are gone and I started doing yoga to strengthen my body, just basic easy going yoga though, now way I could do the advanced stuff!
And If I get to sore I just shower or take a bath and it usually goes away. I've tried Advil and Aleve no store bought pain meds help my pain unfortunately.....
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Old 03-18-2012, 01:26 PM
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OMG tht's awesome you say tht bc I've been doing am.pm yoga for a cpl days now! Its so hard though but it helps a tiddly bit once I get going - showers are amazing but still hard to get the inside stench off. I'm sure u understand tht - the depression is just abouta you knw wht & I've never had depression not ONCE ever - I'm jst coming around to actually talking about it & its annoying my phone BLOWING UP now but I get thyr jst concerned. How r u doing w/ communication? Is is irritating to you too? And my head is throbbing! Ugh nothing helps it seems
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Old 03-18-2012, 01:41 PM
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I haven't really had a hard time with talking except for the first week. I know what your talking about the smells. EVERYTHING stinks, I could barely feed my cats. But that stopped in the beginning of week 3.
I think sleeping with a sleep mask on helped me sleep through all this. It keeps out the light and makes you keep your eyes shut. And when I would get my headaches I just put the mask on and close my eyes try and take a nap or at least just lay there and relax, this is the only way I could get rid of my headaches.....
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Old 03-18-2012, 02:20 PM
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I'm praying for you all .... (((Hugs)))
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Old 03-18-2012, 02:35 PM
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If you are on day 10 you are for sure on the down hill run. There are not many people that could do this. You are one strong person. I am rooting for you. You can do this for sure. Good luck on your journey. Do not give up and don't give in. Logo
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Old 03-19-2012, 12:16 PM
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Wow... so the clinic just called me to say whn thy'd be issuing a check for the remaining amount in my account - when I answered I said hi how r u and she LAUGHED for lk 5 mins and said no how are you?! They are PISSED I left. I'm so confused? So... thy'd rather see a 25 yr old be on methadone forever than encourage COMPLETE sobriety. Some one please explain wht just happened - I'm at a loss of words...
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Old 03-19-2012, 01:22 PM
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Because thats a lot of money they lose a month! This is one reason I got off it, my counselor was a nice lady and personally would've loved to see me off my methadone, but they're line is that they want to sell this crap to you!!

I bet my clinic is pissed me AND my bf left the clinic! Now thats A LOT of money!
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Old 03-19-2012, 01:58 PM
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Its really LIKE THAT, jeesh. Money money money... its always about the money... this right here is why I'm soooooooooo glad I'm GOIN THROUGH it right now! Methadone clinic = legal dope dealers. Sad sad situation... I'm truly hurt. This was worse thn turning the bottles in...
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Old 03-19-2012, 02:56 PM
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@bcHElovesme I'm SO happy to see these posts...even the jerk clinic ones!! You are doing great! One day at a time you will just feel better and better. You did awesome in sticking with your plan and climbing this hill.....way to go!!! 23 days and feeling great myself so I KNOW you can do it! And I have been saying these same sentiments about the clinics - tantamount to murder - they're just feeding poison out to the masses....no problem putting heroin users on Methadone for LIFE - it's clearly so much better right? That's cool they are refunding your remaining amount, I didn't even know they would do that. Again, congrats and good for you for getting to a brighter day!
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Old 03-19-2012, 03:08 PM
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I'm so upset about tht I really could spit fire. Tht's cool w/ me thy just added to my motivation - I hvnt felt my <3 pound lk tht in weeks - sad bc tht place will be flooded now bc we had a HUGE bust jst happen this weekend - sad to knw tht soon a lot more ppl will be on THE LOOOOONNNNGGGGESSSST MOST PAINFUL journey of there lives - I do hope thy get REAL help instead of sticking a bandaid on the true issue.
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Old 03-19-2012, 03:19 PM
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Originally Posted by bcHElovesme View Post
I'm so upset about tht I really could spit fire. Tht's cool w/ me thy just added to my motivation - I hvnt felt my <3 pound lk tht in weeks - sad bc tht place will be flooded now bc we had a HUGE bust jst happen this weekend - sad to knw tht soon a lot more ppl will be on THE LOOOOONNNNGGGGESSSST MOST PAINFUL journey of there lives - I do hope thy get REAL help instead of sticking a bandaid on the true issue.
Isn't it sick and sad that "they" allow people to come in thinking that it's better than the alternative? "So people CAN be done with Suboxone and Methadone over the course of a few weeks - but let's let them believe they need to be on it for life at massive doses....yeah....our wallets will be huge!!!!". Blech....
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Old 03-19-2012, 03:26 PM
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That's what my hubby said! It is SO sad - I've seen ppl dose at 260 & be straight nodding OUT in their cars... mouth agape & all looking silllllyyyy - you knw you've got a problem when its legal to be tht doped out before you even turn your car on... just saying.
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Old 03-19-2012, 04:03 PM
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Originally Posted by bcHElovesme View Post
That's what my hubby said! It is SO sad - I've seen ppl dose at 260 & be straight nodding OUT in their cars... mouth agape & all looking silllllyyyy - you knw you've got a problem when its legal to be tht doped out before you even turn your car on... just saying.
There should be a huge sign inside of clinics that say "This will not cure you of addiction. This will not get you off drugs. This will not save you money. This will not fix your life. It WILL however make us more money than your OLD dealer." I've never actually met someone who went to a Methadone clinic and actually was tapered down from their dose in a reasonable time.....they were given massive doses to MATCH their other DOC use and were maintained or increased from there.......ummmm......sorta seems like sdrawkcab gniklaw.......DUH....
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Old 03-19-2012, 04:19 PM
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LMAO! I needed tht - thank-you! So so true! I was even told that the nurses tht dose ppl get wrote up & even possibly fired if too many clients leave the clinic tht were under they're supervision! That came from the inside! Like I said hope thy can sleep at night... ugh hindsight is ALWAYS 20/20 eh?! That's OK.ill never touch another opiate EVER... I had NO IDEA it would lead to this. Your in the wrong place at the wrong time & someone says here this'll help w/ tht & BOOM 3 yrs later you huddled in a corner shaking & puking all over yourself... sick BUT true, drugs are bad DUH. jeesh
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Old 03-19-2012, 04:20 PM
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LMAO! I needed tht - thank-you! So so true! I was even told that the nurses tht dose ppl get wrote up & even possibly fired if too many clients leave the clinic tht were under they're supervision! That came from the inside! Like I said hope thy can sleep at night... ugh hindsight is ALWAYS 20/20 eh?! That's OK.ill never touch another opiate EVER... I had NO IDEA it would lead to this. Your in the wrong place at the wrong time & someone says here this'll help w/ tht & BOOM 3 yrs later you huddled in a corner shaking & puking all over yourself... sick BUT true, drugs are bad DUH. jeesh
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Old 03-19-2012, 04:36 PM
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LMAO THANK YOU! I SO needed tht! What I would do w/o all of you... idk but I wldnt hv made it - you all are AMAZING <3 and guess who made their bed today & cleaned their house (just a smidge ) today? ME woo hoo! I'm totally feelin great today well for detox anyways, finally took someone's advice & took just a nano second at a time I <3 this site to the moon & BACK!
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