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Old 03-03-2012, 12:26 AM
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I Am Burning ; I Will Rise
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Wink Subs>Meth>SubsTaper>Clean

I've been posting in Substance Abuse. Was actuay kind of avoiding this group because I didn't want to keep seeing "Suboxone" "Methsdone" repeatedly and being reminded. But facing your DOC is part of recovery. I used to use any and all opiates I could get before settling on Suboxone for about 3-4 years. For a few weeks I was flip-flopping Suboxone and Methadone depending on availabilty, that was years ago. Recently I tried to stop cold turkey from 3-4mg a day of Suboxone, by Day 3 I failed. I randomly got access to 18 5mg Methadone, so I took one each morning (Subs were dry for a few days) with the intent to switch back to Subs just long enough to let the Meth half-life break down and then taper myself to 1mg a day of Subs and quit. So I did 18 days of 5mg Methadone, waited one day and started 1mg of Suboxone for 8 days and quit. Today is Day 8! I still have chills, still can't sleep, still craving - though not terribly, depending on my anxiety level, and as a result of w/d I'm now sick too - I'm told this is very common. I started vitamins and eating healthy and light workouts. It's not been the easiest days....but it's possible to beat it. You have to want it, have to want to be strong, endure....think of the warriors and soldiers throughout the ages that have been wounded and beaten and continue to march forward through the pain....we can not feel worse than that. We can beat this.
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Old 03-03-2012, 03:44 AM
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Awesome job on 8 days off subs!
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Old 03-03-2012, 05:49 AM
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I Am Burning ; I Will Rise
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@zxcirce Thank you! God does my head hurt right now, I got like 2 hours of sleep between the loud people upstairs and a wind storm last night. Ibuprofen first thing, when this passes I'll be making breakfast and taking vitamins. Then we'll see how today feels. Thanks again.
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Old 03-03-2012, 06:12 AM
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Stopdrop

You're welcome.

I'm almost off subs now too and its great to see and hear from someone who's doing it, all I seem to hear about are horror stories!!! I'm keeping busy as best I can and trying not to dwell on the discomfort---I think half the battle is mental.

Keep on trucking my friend you're doing great.
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Old 03-03-2012, 06:39 AM
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I Am Burning ; I Will Rise
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Awesome! Good for you too! I never thought I'd be doing this now, but here I am, doing it. 8 days, wow. You know, I used to be one of those "horror-story" pushers, if I didn't have Subs for a day I would freak out, my anxiety and fear would skyrocket making my symptoms far worse. Once you stop and say "I have convinced myself I need this much, but I don't" and you believe it, you'll be able to taper much easier and faster. Our bodies don't really NEED this crap, we just want it. Our bodies produce P Seratonin now because it hasn't needed to for years, our hormones and natural chemicals are all jacked up, low immunities from constant chemical bombardment....it only stands to reason that we're going to feel like garbage for a week or two, just like when we're sick or healing wounds, it has to replace it all. Some of it is mental, but I think a lot of people are hiding behind that, using it as a reason to keep waiting and keep going back... "I'm going to feel like garbage for 3 or 4 days, then I might get sick for a few days, then I will be drained from not sleeping but after those couple days I'll start getting better." < That's how it is, really. Even the "garbage" part is healing, our bodies using the right/natural chemicals again to replace the missing drugs and learning how to repair our insides. Be strong. I won't lie, I expected to fail by now, but I know I won't now. I was glued to this site inside and out everyday. Good luck! Let me know how you do when it's your time.
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Old 03-03-2012, 06:41 AM
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*0 Seratonin, not P
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Old 03-04-2012, 06:10 AM
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How goes it StopDrop?

I think you're absolutely right that it gets easier when we attribute the symptoms to a physical process of healing rather than focus on how awful they feel to us.

Hope you're having an okay weekend.
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