my painkiller/suboxone saga

[ialwaysdo]

Hi everyone, My addiction began alomst 4 years ago when i started taking vicodin. I started taking them while I was selling cars. Going to work was fun as i soon was taking ( 8 to 10 )vicodin ten mil everyday.Sometimes i would get oxys,roxys,percs,ect.This went on for a lilttle over 7months. Then the day came where my dealer/coworker couldn't get me them. That night I got myself arrested for weed .That night I took my last pills. Sunday was fine ,but then monday i called out of work, because my full blown withdrawl was in full swing. July 3rd and July 4th I experienced the worst pain of my life. 48 hours of hell but on July 5th I went to work . I had detoxed. 10 days later when the vics were available to me i bought some, and got hooked. I stayed hooked for 2 years, snorting roxys mostly. I was on 350 - 450 mil a day. I had to go through probation while hooked , and only got through it when a doctor wrote me a script for 30 vics.

I started taking suboxone for just under 50 days, but returned to my love. I stayed high for many more months.I was using subs when i ran out of pain pills.So i flipped flopped alot. The day after my 30th birthday i got serious about taking subs. I believe i started at 8-10 mil. After a couple of months I was using 4 mg's. 4 months in I was at 2-3 mil..September 15th 2009 i took 2 vics i had under the bed this whole time. It didn't get me high, it was a stupid thing to do.

Present day I am so frustrated with subs...My least favorite w/d is the fact that my body is on fire . I get super hot among other w/d. Without my slipup Ive been on subs for almost 5 months...I want out. I hate being dependant on pills. Especially ones that don't get me high. I'm a true misery. All i think about is detoxing , and how sick I will be. I wish i would have just gone off pain pills on a taper..Cold turkey is underated. It was torture, but only 2 days.
I'm stuck at 2mg/3mg.I was positive early on,but the process is too long. Addicts want instant gradification. I know i gotta pay the piper,but I'm just plain scared. I guess thats it..Thanks for listening....

[bimmerlife95]

its hard to find the right mindset sometimes but whe you do and feel that feeling of wanting off everything and will do anything to do it then you must go with it. taper your subs down to taking 1-2mgs a day (not 1-2mgs twice a day i mean in total) and then take every other day for a few days then every 3rd day and so on then stop the withhdraws will be minimal compared those 2 days of hell you went through. i understand that hot feeling and the sweating you butt off when you just sitting there. its not fun but you cant have years of feeling great everyday without having some down time. . i wish you my luck and just do it just think tat in a few weeks you could be clean and feeling normal again.

[ialwaysdo]

I had a very positive out look when I started on subs. The last 6 weeks or so Ive been stuck at 1.5/2 mg a day.

However the last three days have been wonderful. I take 1 mg or .75 of a mg a day.

During the six weeks where i couldn't ween lower I started to think subs were a mistake.

Now I believe I'm very close to the end.

[ialwaysdo]

oh yea....july of 2006 was the worst time of my life.The painful detox, getting busted,but the worst thing was my dog died.Some great month,huh?


best dog ever

[ialwaysdo]

pillsarebadd-thank u for the pm. I can't use that funtion until i make 5 posts. But I'll pm you soon.

[ialwaysdo]

enjoy your sunday everybody !