I am considering suboxone

[JADEN]

I have been struggling with addiction for 20 years. My primary drug of choice was alchohol but the last 3 years it has switched to lortab and fentanyl. I am so ready to stop and get a few pieces of my life back. My big struggle with getting clean is that I work in the health care field. I love my job and I am very good at what I do. I am in close contact with narcotics everyday at work. I am physically addicted to narcotics but withdrawl isn't what scares me. I want the opiate blocking effect of suboxone. If what I take doesn't work then maybe I wil stop taking it. I know it won't solve the spiritual/pshychological aspect of addiction. I go to work every day and promise myself I will not take narcotics. Once they are in my hands I am lost. All promises go out the window. It won't be long before my job is lost (and home soon to follow.) I have seen many postings regarding addiction to suboxone. One more habit is not what I need. I am looking for some advice specific to my situation.
Jaden

[christin1225]

Originally Posted by JADEN

I am physically addicted to narcotics but withdrawl isn't what scares me. I want the opiate blocking effect of suboxone. If what I take doesn't work then maybe I wil stop taking it. I know it won't solve the spiritual/pshychological aspect of addiction. I go to work every day and promise myself I will not take narcotics. Once they are in my hands I am lost. All promises go out the window. It won't be long before my job is lost (and home soon to follow.) I have seen many postings regarding addiction to suboxone. One more habit is not what I need. I am looking for some advice specific to my situation.

Welcome to SR, Jaden.

From what I hear, you are not in a unique situation. In fact, I attended IOP with a nurse who faced a struggle very much like yours, except she was caught before she could go on Suboxone voluntarily. Although I am not a huge fan of Suboxone (it has a very unpleasant withdrawal syndrome all its own with which an addict eventually will have to contend), for some it may be the only way to get off narcotics without hitting a low bottom.

You mention that you don't need "one more habit." If you go on Suboxone, you won't have one more habit. You will, however, still be dependent on an opioid. But, as you indicated, you will be dependent upon an opioid that will block the effects of any other opioid. In your field, that is very important.

The woman whom I referenced, got her nursing job back and attends AA/NA meetings on a regular basis. She is still on the Suboxone but is working towards getting off it.

Although I am not a healthcare professional, I do have experience with being on Suboxone and would be happy to reply to a PM (once you can send one). I will answer any questions based on my own experience (positive and negative).

Oh... and I applaud you on seeking recovery!

[tt71]

I think going on suboxone would be a wise decision for you. In my case I was a heavy opiate user for years. Addiction has cost me everything I love. I was a wealthy, married, business owner. All that loss couldn't help me stop my addiction. Before sub. I was hopeless. I started sub. Program 6 month's ago and it has been a true miracle. It has aided me in rebuilding my life. My life has, and is recovering now, and sub. Has been the foundation of these major changes. It saved my life, and if u give it a chance it will save yours. When used properly, all those horror stories u heard about sub. Are completely false. Please txt me back if u want to talk about it. Troy

[baggervance]

My sub experience was kinda ok I guess. At first it was great when I quit it was getting bad isolating and same old behavior. Listen to christian about the W/D mine were horrible and lasted an good month. Just know that sub is not a free ride when /if you decide to jump off you will still pay a price. Good luck I wish you all the best.

[JADEN]

I really appreciate all the replies and support. I am currently looking for a doctor to prescribe suboxone. I have a feeling I may have a long drive to find one.
I realized that I have everything to loose if I don't do something soon. What I have been doing isn't working. I have been to rehab for alcohol addiction and actually found that it was an awesome experience. I just can't afford to do it again. I let myself slip by not going to meeting and I never found sponsor. Even if I get suboxone I know I need to treat my addiction everyday.
Right now I am goin from withdrawl episode to withdrawl episode and I can't get past it. Once I hit a certain point I would anything to not feel that way anymore. I know that if I go to work feeling like that I am not going to stay clean.
thanks for the replies I will return PM'S when I'm able to.
Jaden

[gtinney1]

I am in my third week of hell coming off of Suboxone. Although you are able to function "normally" while on it, after a couple of years I didn't even know who I was anymore, neither did my wife. Then my addiction started telling me it wasn't enough, so I started using other substances. So it was no longer useful and it was time to stop.
This is the worse drug I have ever had the displeasure of knowing. Without a doubt.
I would take it for a week in low dosage to get of methadone or others, but long term usage should be outlawed.
I will be submitting a letter on my detox experience indepth shortly. Keep your eyes open, and don't rush into anything.
Your friend,
Gerry ( gtinney1 )

[christin1225]

Originally Posted by JADEN

I have been to rehab for alcohol addiction and actually found that it was an awesome experience. I just can't afford to do it again. I let myself slip by not going to meeting and I never found sponsor.

How are you doing, Jaden? It's been a few days since you've checked in.

It's really a shame that you found rehab to be such a wonderful experience but can't go for help with your opioid addiction because of the cost. Fortunately, that isn't the case with NA. NA is free.

While I was trying to put the pieces together for my recovery plan (which included Suboxone, IOP, and counseling), I was attending NA and AA meetings. I suggest that you consider doing the same. First of all, it will give you extra time to become acquainted with the various meetings. And, you will have the chance to meet people and to hear their stories. Also, when it comes time to ask someone to sponsor you, you'll know if it's best to get someone from the fellowship of AA or NA and you will learn who may or may not be willing to support you if you choose replacement therapy (Suboxone). Last, but certainly not least, I think that establishing regular contact with recovery addicts will help you to keep your resolve to get clean.

I hope to see very soon that you've checked in with us.

[65Jazz]

Originally Posted by JADEN

I have been struggling with addiction for 20 years. My primary drug of choice was alchohol but the last 3 years it has switched to lortab and fentanyl. I am so ready to stop and get a few pieces of my life back. My big struggle with getting clean is that I work in the health care field. I love my job and I am very good at what I do. I am in close contact with narcotics everyday at work. I am physically addicted to narcotics but withdrawl isn't what scares me. I want the opiate blocking effect of suboxone. If what I take doesn't work then maybe I wil stop taking it. I know it won't solve the spiritual/pshychological aspect of addiction. I go to work every day and promise myself I will not take narcotics. Once they are in my hands I am lost. All promises go out the window. It won't be long before my job is lost (and home soon to follow.) I have seen many postings regarding addiction to suboxone. One more habit is not what I need. I am looking for some advice specific to my situation.
Jaden

Jaden- I am an anesthesiologist and 16 months ago I was heavily addicted to work narcotics. I was also on 24mg of Suboxone. (I know Suboxone has naloxone. I did the narcs anyway.) When everything finally came crashing down I went cold turkey off the Suboxone as well even though the recommended taper would have been 12wks. I just wanted all chemicals out of my body ASAP. Well, multiply your worst withdraw from Fentanly by 10 and that is what my Suboxone withdraw was like. Don't be misled by those that market/prescribe Suboxone. It is a narcotic and switching from Fentanyl to Suboxone is like switching rooms on the Titanic.
I got my ass into rehab. for 90 days, found a great sponsor, hit 5-8 AA/NA meetings a week for over a year after rehab., have hit my knees every day since day 1 of rehab., and have tried to remain in a state of gratitude for having been given my life back free from drugs and alcohol. I'm also in a monitoring program and get randomly drug tested 4 times a month.
I recently returned to my profession and I feel great. Although I have to remain forever vigilant in my recovery, the Fentanyl and the other narcs. have lost their power over me today.
I feel your pain and understand your situation. You will be doing yourself a disfavor going down the Suboxone route. If you feel you need an opioid blocker, you might want to investigate the Naltrexone.

[sskaye70]

HI! I truly think you are making the correct choice. You want this and need this; i believe it will help. my brother just passed away 2 mths ago from heroin. I begged him to get on Suboxone. My Aunt was a functioning addict for years and went on it and she is absolutely terrific now. I know some days are better than others for her, but she doesnt even want to drink or anything else. I wish you the best, do what is best for you. Sedra

[Sober4four]

Hi Jaden. I too am in Spokane. Did you get on suboxone? How r u now. Where did you go? Any suggestions?

[Dee74]

I suspect Jaden's moved on, but welcome to SR Sober4four

D

[lorilou1]

hi Jaden,
ur right u will eventually lose ur job if u don`t get some help, I know because I went through it. I worked in healthcare also and used for over 20 yrs. and I did lose my job, home, everything,dignity everything before I got help. I am taking subs and they do work, but u also have to do the work for ur mind, spirit,body, they will helpw/ cravings.
I have had struggles w/ the other parts but i continue to read alot and pray alot.
You sound like u r ready and want ur life back and I wish U the best and know U can do it!!! Keep true to yourself and take things slow..... Good luck!!!!

[Nightsd]

You cannot take a drug that will make you not take other drugs.

I personally think you need to switch to a different job, while you still can. You've booked a ticket on the Titanic, and you still have time to catch a different ship. There are jobs for nurses that don't have you handling narcotics every day. Get a job like that. Now I know getting a different job is harder than it sounds, but you're an addict. You cannot control yourself right now, you're in active addiction. You need to spend some time away from the drugs. The chances that you can just quit and still handle narcotics every day is slim to none.

This isn't idle jabber, and this isn't just my opinion. This is a cold hard fact of reality, almost no addict in active addiction would be able to quit if they had to be around their drug of choice all day. It simply isn't realistic.

You can try suboxone. It has been an absolute god-send for me. But you almost certainly will not be able to stay clean if you still work around narcotics. Because, you probably already know that even if you get on suboxone, one day you'll tell yourself I can take some pills today, because with suboxone I can just quit again when I want.

Now don't automatically shoot down this idea, telling yourself I couldn't find another job!!! Because you must realize that your inner-addict doesn't want to quit using. Even if you consciously decide to quit, your subconscious will find ways of making it possible for you to keep using. Let's use the analogy of a bottle of pills in the medicine cabinet. You may one day decide to quit, and go to rehab. But you won't throw away the bottle of pills, just in case. I strongly urge you to find a different job, a job where you don't have access to narcotics.

You must get away from being around narcotics.

[logo]

Suboxone was never meant to be a maintenance drug. It is just another opiate. It is different from other opiates in that it goes into your system does its job and leaves your body very fast. It is a great detox drug. This is my experience with suboxone. I came off of 45mg of methadone using suboxone. I started out on 16mg. twice a day and slowly came down over a 6 week period. The last dose was just a few crumbs of suboxone. I had no withdrawls from the methadone or suboxone. The cost for this detox with a private DR. was a little over $1,000.00. My be it is cheaper to do suboxone maintenance that any other kind of dope. All I know is it works great as a detox drug. Hope this helps. Logo