My Story

[tink360]

Hi, i call myself tink. i rarely give out my real name. i wanted to share my story here because i have a feeling it might help someone. i was 8 years old in germany and i had an alcoholic babysitter. she had 2 sons and 2 daughters. at the age of 8 her sons would blow pot smoke in my face and then would sexually molest me. thats where it all started. i have a sister 4 years younger who has nightmares to this day about it. but she was stronger than me. i dealt with it by looking for the high. i moved to puerto rico where im from and had a cousin who smoked pot and let me do it with her. i later moved to el paso texas and by the age of 13 i was drinking, stealing, lying, and smoking. as the years past other things happend like i used to get beat up in school for being "weird" and i developed my first real friendships in high school when i met a group of people who all did drugs and were as deppressed about life as i was. i met a guy who ill call "pan" and together we lost our virginity to eachother and began ditching school together, and experimenting with drugs together. we both fell in love with meth and in time meth destroyed us. in the time of my drug use ive beat my sister, fist fought my mother, i was raped twice, been beaten, and at one point i sold my body for a gram of meth and a dime sac. i was at first the captain of my dance team at school and then they kicked me off for having an overdose on stage. i dropped out of school. i fell asleep at the wheel and crashed my car. ive almost died countless times and i wieghed down to 90 pounds. the night i went to detox was the worst night of my life. my father and my ex fiance "pan" got into a fist fight. my father lost his wedding ring and his pride that night. he stood up to a gun and saifd he die to save my life. it was the first time in my life i can remember feeling respect for my father (we never had a good relationship cuz he was rarely home since he is in the army) when my father brought me home and my sister and mother saw me, it was their tears and their pleas for me to allow them to help me that made me decide to go to the detox. even then as they put themselves together and i packed my cloths i snuck every bit of meth i had left into the bathroom with me and used my glass pipe, my last needle, and a straw and did it all knowing inside it wouldd be my last time.
i relapsed twice since then but slowly ive grown. im still here sober and alive. thats only a summary of my story. im writting a book about my life. ill let you know when it gets publlished. my nick name tink came from bieng the drug dealer with the "magic fairy dust" i dont see the magic in it anymore.