Jack's story

[jbm125]

Born, 1946. Married 1964 after 1 yr. of college. Got a good job with the phone company(Bell at the time). Had 3 sons, 7,5 and 3 and a daughter 11 months by 1972. I owned 3 homes, 1 I lived in and 2 for the rental income.
August 15, 1972 I had these things; family, good job, 2 cars, a Harley, good neighbors and friends. Elected Pres. of the Bell Employees Association. Elected Judge of Elections in1970 in my voting district. Had recently gone thru the AT&T assessment center in NYC and finished 2 in a class of 13. I was on the fast track. August 16, 1972 my wife and I went for a ride on the Harley to visit friends and was hit broadside by a drunk driver who ran a stop sign. My wife became a paraplegic. I had 14 orthopedic surgeries in 4 years to repair me.
My wife spent 13 months in a rehab facility and my family was split up with the oldest 2 boys going to my parents, son 3 went to my inlaws,and my daughter went to her Aunt and Uncle's home. I dealt with that time frame by using heroin and anything else I could get my hands on to kill the emotional pain. We sold what we had and built a new home all on one floor to accomodate my wife. After 13 or 14 months we were reunited.
I drank and used drugs moderately like a lot of my friends who grew up in the 60's for 20+ did for years. I was determined my kids would have as normal a childhood as they could. I taught them to ride a bike, play frisbee, water ski, I coached Little League, was active as a scout leader and took my daughter to ballet.
Eventually the PTSD, depression, nightmares,insomnia etc. all caught up with me. I was drinking heavier, drugging again and slid down a slippery slope.
Soon I was drinking and drugging all day, every day. That started about '95 or 96 when I retired after 30 yrs. with Ma Bell. I was a functional drunk.
That changed soon. I'd spend the day parked in front of the boob tube with a bottle, reefer and any pain meds I could get, legal or not.
In '97 I went to my 1st rehab. Walked out after 4 days. 2nd and 3rd rehab, same story. I'd leave a rehab and my 1st stop would be a liquor store and my 2nd would be for drugs. By December 1998 my wife had enuf. I was dry but not yet sober. I got thrown out and wound up in a 3 rm apt. where I isolated and did nothing but drink, drug and watch TV. Eating was occassional when I could keep it down. I only went out for booze, drugs,cigarrettes and pizza. That went on for about a month.
One morning I realized I hadn't shaved, showered etc. for 9 days. I knew it was 9 cuz I counted the empties. I called my oldest son and asked if he could take me to a rehab. He did and this time I stayed. In that rehab I had a spiritual awakening. Just enuf of a one that I started to listen and take suggestions. Some of the 1st were 'go to 90/90 mtgs.,get a home group and a sponsor'. I followed those suggestions starting the day after I was discharged. AA, my Higher Power and my family saved my life. I did a 90/90, and kept coming back. I got a temp. sponsor who didn't work out but for 90 days he made sure I got to meetings, would call to make sure I was OK and generally did a good job. I still have the same home group.
You see in that rehab I realized I'd been doing it Jack's way all my life and that wasn't working. I started doing it my HP's way and AA's way and you know what? Things started getting better. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but better they did get. After the 4th rehab my wife had had enuf and we divorced. Today I've earned back the trust and respect of 2 sons and my daughter but one son and my ex still won't speak to me.
I burned a lot of bridges. After AA, service work, prayer, hard work etc. I now have my own apartment, a new VW beetle, color TV, the works. I receive a disability pension cuz when I turned 50 all the things I shrugged off or worked thru in my late 20's, 30's and 40's from my accident started coming back with a vengance. I do part time work as The Computer Tutor. It's not much but enuf to buy cigarrettes and cable TV. Today I'm generally happy and content.
I'm active in AA and volunteer at a soup kitchen for the homeless. My life is good. Not what I had but good just the same. My sobriety date is 1/15/99.
I no longer have compulsions and when stressed I don't even think about booze or drugs(most of the time). The most I talk about those things is at meetings.
That was a little snapshot of what happened to me. If one thing I said helps one person who reads this it was worth writing. God bless.