bubblze Story

[bubblze30]

My story:


Lets see I can remember being five my real dad taking me to his store and buying me pancakes at mcdonalds. Those were my only good memories of him. He died when I was seven. My mom went back to her first husband which was an alchohlic and physically abusive towards her.
I can remember sleeping in the twin bed next to my sister praying he would not come in the room. He did however and this lasted until I was thirteen. My sister has blocked it out but it has stayed with me still.
That is when it all started. He tried to kill my mom and went to jail. My mom was angry and in denial. Turning to alchohol and pills she was lost.
I picked up drinking at thirteen to numb the thoughts in my head.I thought it was cool to drink with mom. I graduated quickly to cocaine and boys. That was my life drugs and boys. No schooling just drugs and boys.I descided I needed unconditional love so I went out and got pregnant, Little did I know . I was still a child myself. At the age of 21 I was still mentally 13. I started my heroin addiction with the help of a man right after her birth, or a little before. I lost my daughter when she was a year and a half. Went to jail, sold myself, just wanted to die. I had o.d'd so many times they were suprized at the hospitol I stayed alive. My last trip to jail I descided I wanted to change. I came out of jail and used one last time, Then got myself in a car and drive an hour away to a detox. I still live in the same city. I never went home.After two and a half long years in programs I got my daughter back. I have sincce relapsed but now have over two years in recovery. I would not use again. I just enjoy being a mom and paying my bills and being able to eat. These little thing like rent and food I could never do I always depended on a man. I love life now and although I gained some weight. I feel so much better being clean and sober........