My Story

[Hawkenman]

One day I was at the school bus stop with my nine year old son. I was still shaking from the previous night's drinking, it was 7:00am and I had already had 3 beers. My son looked at me and said,"dad you want me to get you another beer?" At that moment a thought struck me, I remembered my dad died from alcoholism, I turned in to my dad, and this precious little boy was probably going to turn in to me. I am a state police officer with the state of Florida, and that night I called my supervisor and told him I needed help to stop drinking. He seemed suprised that I even drank. I am a closet drinker and had vodka hid all over my household (my wife does not drink), and in my state vehicle. It had gotten to a point that I had to drink about every 3 hours or I would get sick. Thank God I never had a wreck, but I could no longer get that "buzz" I had in the past. I would just drink until I basically passed out at night by going to bed around 10:00pm. Well my supervisor had me sent to a de-tox facility and after going through the DT's, 10 days later I was released back to the world exhausted and confused. This was not my first attempt to stop drinking, I had tried for the last twenty years. This time I went to AA and was amazed that there are people just like me going through somewhat the same type of nightmare. My first meeting I attended while working and had my uniform on. The Chairman asked,'"officer is there a problem?", no I answered, I'm an alcoholic whether I'm in uniform or not. I wish I could social drink like my buddies, but I can't. But it does get better (not right away, the first year was hell) being sober. Now when I do things with my son I can remember what I have done. I went to a meeting today and a newcomer asked if I was there for security, I him I'm just a drunk like you trying to stay sober I said. God will answer your prayers when you least expect it. Going on my third year of sobriety.