r.i.p daddy badger

[carolinemurphy]

i'm cari

on the 29th of jan 2008 my world was crushed, we found my dad dead in his armchair, he died of ischemic heart disease and atherosclerosis through years of alcohol abuse and heavy smoking. he died age 57, and noone had any idea he had it.

for those of you who have known me a long time, you'll know it was never easy for our family. dad had an alcohol problem, and a lot of people abandoned us, as well as him.

10th december 2005, an incident happened which changed all of us completely. because of this, my dad was attending at least 4 A.A. meetings a week (through his own choice!), would log on to the database every saturday night in the early hours of the morning, to take phonecalls from other alcoholics, and did everything he could to help people overcome something that once ruled his life.

my dad was the funniest and kindest man in the world. the last 2 years of his life were his second chance, his chance to redeem himself, and i am soooo ******* proud of him.

not once did my dad relapse after that incident, not once did he touch any sort of alcohol, and even though he had to move out of our family home, he was down here every day to make us sausage sandwhiches, walk the dog, do the washing and the washing up, and be a real dad.

i hate that it took my dad's death to make me realise what really matters, but i'm glad it has. i went to his A.A. meeting the night after we found him, and have seen and heard how much he's helped them all, how much he's done for the individuals, ferrying them about etc.

all i ask is that you think about your alcohol intake practically, and also how you treat people, say what you want to say, never be too proud. i told my dad i loved him all the time, told him i was proud of him all the time, and that makes it easier, but for the rest of my life i wish i'd have cuddled him more, because i'll never be able to feel that again.

rest in peace daddy badger, i'll never forget you.