My journey, step 3

[Spes]

How do I feel about turning my life over to a Higher Power for guidance?

I dont have a choice otherwise I'm headed for the rubber room.

How do I know who or what my Higher Power is?

I see him as God. My rejection of religion does not preclude me in believing in God.

Am I willing to try to turn my problems over? What could help me to be willing?

Yes.....desperation; that is, I need to start looking out for myself.

How can I stop thinking, trying and considering, and actually make a decision?

Keep reading the forum. These wonderful people are truthfully encouraging action.

Have I had a problem making decisions in my life? Give examples.

yes. This one I make today

If I am unable to make this decision, what holds me back?

I must do this.

Do I trust my Higher Power to take care of me?

Yes, I do now.

How might Step Three help me keep my hands off situations created by others?

Because step 3 tells me to give them to God.

What consequences have I had by obsessing on problems and other people?

I'm a nervous wreck

When I “Let Go and Let God” take care of my life, am I willing to follow the guidance I receive?

Yes, I must or I will drown

How can I turn a situation over and let go of the results?

By realizing that I didn't cause it and I can't fix it.

How can I stop myself from taking my will back?

By reminding myself where I was before I started this process. I don't want to go back to that heartache.

What can I do when my loved ones make decisions I don’t like?

Give it to God then walk down the street and smell the flowers.

How can I let my loved ones find their own life paths as I am finding mine?

Leave her alone. If she wants to look; she will find it.

What can I do to try to see others as God sees them?

Don't ask them to do what I want. God gave theem a free will, let them use it.

How can I express God’s will in my actions and words towards others, including the alcoholic?

Living by example.


This was hard getting to this place but I learned to let God take care of her and I need to start taking care of myself. Today was the first day in a very long time I did not feel resentful.

[Spes]

How can I turn a situation over and let go of the results?

By realizing that I didn't cause it and I can't fix it.

Today my AW asked me what she said because she didn't remember. I told her what she said. She asked me why she didn't remember. I told her that it's most likely from blackouts. She asked if she did that often. I told her every day.

I did not tell her what to do. I'm sad she is dying but I can't change that either. Giving it to God is a hard thing to do but I have noticed that for the first time in a very long time I don't have a stress headache.

[Spes]

I feel like I'm in college again taking a summer course that I want an A in. Someone in SR will recommend a book in a post and I immediately get on Amazon and order a download to Kindle.

I don't know how long my wife will be with me. She may die tomorrow or 10 years from now...her body and mind is trying to survive but I see the deterioration in both. The point being that, when it happens, I don't want to live with the guilt of wondering if there was more I could have done. So I am trying to learn so much as quickly as I can.

I am slowly understanding that, if I give all this to God, then when she dies, I'll have no reason to feel guilty and I suppose, neither will God, since he/she/HP gave her a free will.

I have noticed that each day I progressively am looking inward to me rather than outward to her disease

[Taking5]

Step 3 is one of the most over-thought steps in the program, IMHO. No where does it say you must know who or what your higher power is to work this step. In fact you don't turn anything over to your HP in this step, you just make a decision to do so.

The actual turning your will and life over to your HP comes as you work steps 4 thru 12.

[Spes]

Thank you. I trust your thoughts and I appreciate what you're saying.

I can see where I could begin to over-analyze what is going on in my life; it's my nature. But then again, sometimes the most important thing to do is to make a simple, yet profound, decision.

Thank you again, dgillz. I truly look towards those who have traveled this road ahead of me to help me find my way.