Chapter Five: How It Works

[nandm]

The problem is clearly stated--we are alcoholic---our lives are unmaneable. We understand the severity of the problem which is that nohuman power could relieve our alcoholism. Faced with alcoholic destruction we have become willing to look in the direction of spiritual help. We have compared ou own experience with that of the authors and see the truth. Alcoholism has annihilated all things worthwhile in life or is in the process of doing so. All of our efforts to overcome this illness have failed. Convinced we do not possess the power to stop drinking, we are willing to go to any lengths to recover. We ask those who have recovered "What do we have to do?"

In the forward the authors promised that they would show us precisely how they had recovered (xiii:20. Following this, they said they would tell us specifically what we can do (20:4-5) and also that they would give us clear-cut directions how to do it (29:1). In "How it works" the authors present us with their program of recovery. Step by step they show us what they have done (59:8-60:1). The directions for Step One are on page 30:7. The directions for Step Two are on page 47:8-9. The directions for Steps Three and Four are given in "How it works."

In Step Three we are shown that the difficulties we experience in life are the result of a life based on self-will (60:16-63:7). We ares hown the reason we have been unable to live up to our own philosophical and moral covictions and are asked to make a decision to begin a new way of life (63:8-12). True to the authors' promise of taking clear-cut directions this new way of life begins with techniques for taking a fearless moral inventory of ourselves (63:18-64:3). As we begin the process of accessing this Power we find that there are aspects of our character that prevent us from recieving the help we need. To discover just exactly what these things in us are that block us from establlishing a new relationship with God is the purpose of the fourth step.

A.A. is a suggested program, not a program of suggestions. We can take it or leave it, but the authors warn us that taken half way this program will avail us nothing. IF we are willing to let go of all our old ideas and ask for God's protection and care with complete abandon, we are ready to begin.

Having conceded to our innermost selves that we are powerless over alcohol--that our lives are unmanageable, we find ourselves faced with the reality that we need help from a Power greater than ourselves if we are to survive. We come to believe as the authors have told us, that this power is available to us. Thus we ask God for protection and care.

The program of action is outlined (59:8-60:1). We are encouragaed to make progress towards the ideals set down (60:2-9). The conceptual basis for the first two steps are reiterated (60:10-13). We are given a method to determine if we are at the third step (60:14). The results of living a life based on self-will are described (60:16-64:3). The root of our troubles is disclosed (62:2-9). The severity of, and solution to our troubles is laid out (62:11-14). Why and how to find this solution is related (62:15-21). The benefits of applying this solution are promised (63:1-7). The directions for beginning the Third Step are given (63:8-13). The proper time to begin our Fourth Step, the attitude to adopt while working on it and the reasons this step is necessary is spelled out (63:18-64:3). The similarity between a business inventory and our moral inventory is shown (64:4-12). The directions for the first three colums of the Fourth Step resentment list are found (64:13-65:7). A pause in which to view the people we have been mad at in a new way is suggested (65:8-67:10). The instructions for the Fourth column of our resentment list are given (67:11-19). A method by which we may examine and begin to outgrow our fears is suggested (67:20-68:23). Our sex problems may be addressed by applying the program of action detailed (68:24-70:22). The chapter is summarized (70:17-23). The authors' hopes are related (71:1-3).

[nandm]

Introduction: The authors introduce the program of action

The Twelve Steps: The Twelve Steps are summarized into one sentance statements. We may adopt these suggestions if we choose.

The A, B, C's: If we have accepted these three propositions, we have taken the first two steps towards recovery and are ready for step three.

Step Three: The root of our troubles is disclosed, and a new attitude towards God is suggested along with a prayer that is the beginning of our new way of relatiing to and relying on our Higher Power.

Step Four Resentment List: We identify our resentments, who what and why we have been angered. Next we learn a new way of dealing with them through forgiveness and reliance upon God.

Step Four Fears List: Our fears are brought out into the light and we learn that reliance upon God is a successful way to outgrow them.

Step Four Sex List: We examine our sex relations learning to turn to God to mold our ideals and help us live up to them. We find that by seeking we are given the guidance we need on how to make amends in each situation.

[bonsai12]

?

[WLDKATZ]

Originally Posted by nandm

Introduction: The authors introduce the program of action

The Twelve Steps: The Twelve Steps are summarized into one sentance statements. We may adopt these suggestions if we choose.

The A, B, C's: If we have accepted these three propositions, we have taken the first two steps towards recovery and are ready for step three.

Step Three: The root of our troubles is disclosed, and a new attitude towards God is suggested along with a prayer that is the beginning of our new way of relatiing to and relying on our Higher Power.

Step Four Resentment List: We identify our resentments, who what and why we have been angered. Next we learn a new way of dealing with them through forgiveness and reliance upon God.

Step Four Fears List: Our fears are brought out into the light and we learn that reliance upon God is a successful way to outgrow them.

Step Four Sex List: We examine our sex relations learning to turn to God to mold our ideals and help us live up to them. We find that by seeking we are given the guidance we need on how to make amends in each situation.

this list is most interesting where did you get it

[nandm]

Originally Posted by WLDKATZ

this list is most interesting where did you get it

The Annotated AA Handbook
A companion to the Big Book
By Frank D.

Excellent resource book for understanding the Big Book.

[nandm]

1

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.

The authors, as well as many others who have gone before us, have laid down a path for us to follow. We have stumbled blindly through life with no reasonable conception of life's meaning. By following this new path, we find a way of life that goes somewhere.

2-5

Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty.

The unfortunate people referred to here are us. These are clear warnings that unless we can find the willingness to give this program an honest try we will not recover.

We grasp this program as the drowning grasp a life preserver. We develop this way of life by practicing the 12 Steps in all areas of our lives.

8

Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now.

The study of how best to carry the message of this book is a very rewarding pursuit. Here are directions on how to present our experience, strength, and hope. Too detailed of an accounting would accentuate the differences between individuals rather than the similiarities of the progression of alcoholism in one's life. We who have recovered explain to the new person that we have experienced the same baffling symptoms. This helps them see that we know what we are talking about so when we speak of the solutions we found the new person can see how to apply this solution for themselves. Telling of these results gives the new person hope that this way of life will also work for them.

9

If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any lengths to get it---then you are ready to take certain steps.

What do these people have that we would want? What is it that we need to be willing to go to any lengths to get? The "it" they are referring to is a spiritual awakening (79:5), the result of which is victory over alcohol (76:19).

10

At some of these we balked.

This seems a polite way of saying that we balk at all of these steps. We refuse to admit our powerlessness over alcohol until it becomes undeniable even to us. We are unwilling to believe in the power of God until we see we have nowhere else to turn. We hang onto our self-will until misery makes us let go. We resist an inventory of ourselves out of fear and pride. We hang on to our secrets until the weight of them nearly drags us down. We are unwilling to let go of the worst aspects of our characters until we clearly see that they are the cause of our failure in life. Still, we doubt the power of God and think we should work to overcome our defects rather than let God remove them.

11-12

We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not.

What could be harder than stumbling through the dark as we have been? A well trodden path, illuminated by the light of God, stretches out before us. We can be encouraged that even the difficult parts lead us closer to our destination. Those who have traveled this path before us assure us that they have tried every conceivable alternate route and have found this to be the surest way.

14

Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

As we progress through the stesp, we see how our ideas and attitudes have caused us trouble. In the first step, we must let go of the idea that someday we will be able to control and enjoy our drinking. In the second step, we must let go of our prejudice toward spiritual principles. As we continue, we let go of all those things in us that block us off from God.

Partially adoping this way of life, picking those aspects of it that we find convenient and not too difficult, will not produce the desired result. A mere change of behavior does not equal the entire psychic change necessary to overcome alcoholism.


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D

[nandm]

1

Withoug help it is too much for us.

This is the foundation of the first and second steps: we are powerless over alcohol and help is available by turning to a Power greater than ourselves.

4

Half measures availed us nothing.

Once again the authors state that nothing short of a complete abandonment of our old way of life is required. Half measures do not yield half results. This is an all or nothing proposition (53:9-10). We can hold on to our old ideas and continue to suffer or we can cast them away and adopt a completely new set of ideas and attitudes. God makes this possible. Our old lives, based on the notion of self-sufficiency, did not work. To begin this new life, all we need to do is voluntarily ask for God's help.

7

Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a Program of Recovery:

This is a suggested program, not a program of suggestions. We can adopt this way of life if we want or reject it if we feel we know a better way. Adopting some parts of this program and ignoring or evading other parts is unlikely to allow us to experience an entire psychic change. This is not a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life. This is a program of action which if practiced in whole will bring about a vital spiritual awakening that will remake out fundamental natures in a way that is indeed miraculous.

59:8-60:1

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-----that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual experience as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

here the program of action is laid out for us to examine. If we have taken the first two steps toward recovery, we can now decided whether we want to continue. To go on as we have been, or to accept a way of life based on the conscious awareness of the existence of God, what is our choice to be?


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D

[nandm]

2-9

Many of us exclaimed, "What an order! I can't go through with it. Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.

Awakening spiritually does not stop us from being human. At times we willfully disregard the will of our Higher Power. We try to apply these principles in every area of our lives, but being human we sometimes fall short. The benefits of trying to lead a spiritually based life are so great that we return to the path as soon as we recognize the errors of our ways. As we progress spiritually, the time we spend in the darkness of self-will lessens and the times we spend in the Sunlight of the Spirit lengthens.

10

Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:

We have seen the symptoms of alcoholism presented very clearly; the development of a physical craving for more once we begin to drink and a subtle form of insanity that prevents the almost certain consequences of drinking from keeping us from taking the first drink.

14

Being convinced, we were at step three, which is that we decided to turn our will and our life over to God as we understood Him.

We are not at the third step unless we are convinced of propositions A, B, and C above. We can ask ourselves, if we agree absolutely with these three ideas. If we are not convinced, we should re-read the book to this point. It is unlikely that we will be willing to do what is necessary to recover if we are not convinced.

15

Just what do we mean by that, and just what do we do?

The authors said earlier that they would tell us specifically what they had doen to recover. If we have decided to adopt the methods that were successful for them, we must meet a few simple requirements.

16

The first requirement was that we be convinced that any life run on self-will could hardly be a success.

How has the way we have been living working for us? Are we not prey to misery, depression, resentment and remorse? These things are caused by the failed basis of our lives, the basis of self-will. We have lived as though the satisfaction of our instinctual desires for sex, society and security will bring us happiness and fulfillment.

When we hear that "there are no musts in AA," many of us are relieved and think that this means we will not have to do anything to revover. But when we hear that "there is no right or wrong way to work this program," we who have admitted powerlessness over alcohol are fearful that there is nothing we can do to recover. This is a suggested program; we do not have to follow it if we do not want to. But if we do wish to follow this path there are things we must do and requirements we must meet. Should we decide to do the things that the authors did, we can expect the same results----recovery from alcoholism.


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D.

[nandm]

3-6

In trying to make these arrangements our actor may sometimes be quite virtuous. He may be kind, considerate, patient, generous; even modest and self-sacrificing. On the other hand, he may be mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest. But, as with most humans, he is more likely to have varied traits.

We have developed many of our personality traits because we believed that by applying them we would get our way in life. These traits are some of the human resources we have at our disposal. They are seemingly effective in many circumstances. We feel successful when we get our way.

7

What usually happens?

How are these techniques for living working for us? We believe that these techniques are all we have and when our self-seeking behavior does not work we try even harder to manipulate the situation to suit us.

15

What is his basic trouble?

The foundation from which we currently base our ideas, attitudes, decisions, and action is that the satisfaction of our instinctual desires for sex, security, and society will lead to happiness and fulfillment. Once we recognize that because we have constructed our lives on this faulty foundation we can never be truly successful, we can begin to structure our lives upon a new stable foundation. Our admission of powerlessness is the bedrock (tt21:10) upon which we set a foundation of complete willingness and begin to build our new lives (12:17).


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D.

[nandm]

2

Selfishness-self-centeredness!

Acting in our own legitimate self-interest is not selfishness. Selfishness is a lack of concern for the welfare of others.

If alcohol were the cause of our troubles, they would go away when we stop drinking. What this program addresses is the root cause of our troubles in life. Our selfishness causes us to ignore our responsibilities to others. We pursue the satiation of our desires and disregard the effect our actions may have on others.

4-5

Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retailiate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly, without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self, which later placed us in a position to be hurt.

The reasons we feel and behave as we do are not always readily apparent. The ability to recognize why we react as we do is one of the benefits of the fourth step. We examine in detail and learn ways to remove the aspect of our characters that block us off from God and prevent us from leading a successful life.

6

So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making.

Everyone has problems in life and alcoholics are no different (tt114:1-15). However leading the selfish, self-centered life of an alcoholic makes for especially hard going (52:6). Restricted by the belief that we have only our own human resources to draw upon, we fail to solve our problems. Our troubles multiply and appear impossible to solve (xxvi:2). The purpose of this book is to enable us to find a Power that will solve our problems (45:8-9).

7

They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so.

One of the hallmarks of alcoholic insanity is the certainty that our thinking is sound and that everyone else is the cause of our problems. Taking the steps of this program brings us toward the restoration of sanity. The first requirement is that we must discard the idea that we can be successful by selfishly applying our will to any situation.

8

Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness.

We can find the willingness to abandon our old way of life by admitting that if we do not we may die. The misery we are going through now will only get worse as long as we continue to live our lives based on selfishness and self-centeredness. The authors show us the way out of the seemingly inescapable trap we are in.

12-20

Many of us had moral and philosphical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God's help.

This is the how and why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal, we are His agent. He is the Father, and we are His children.

The reason we cannot live up to our own ideals is that we lack the needed power. God has the power to remake our lives and this book shows us how to find this Power. If we could change ourselves to be the kind of people we want to be, we would have done so a long time ago. Most of us have tried a number of methods to bring about just such a change with little or no effect. The authors, who are like us in this respect, report that they have found a way that works. They promised that they would show us precisely what they have done (xii:2) and that they would answer our questions specifically (20:5), giving us clear-cut directions (29:1). They keep their promise by telling us how to find god and why we need to follow their directions.

We gain victory over alcohol by finding freedom from the tyranny of selfishness.

62:21-63:3

Most good ideas are simple and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom. When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed. We had a new Employer. Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well.

The keystone holds all the other pieces of our arch in place. It is the concept upon which all the other concepts presented in this program depend. Currently, we determine our course by deciding which actions are most likely to bring about the satisfaction of our instinctual desires for sex, society and security. The authors are suggesting that the only successful guiding principle is to seek to fulfill God's will rather than our own.

DEFINITION:
62:21---Keystone: something upon which associated things depend.

We are given several concepts of God in the hope that we will be able to adopt one that will work for us. Prejudices towards religious terms and spiritual concepts can only hinder our progress. We choose a conception of God that we can accept and begin to work at expanding it.


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D

[nandm]

1

When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed.

The position we take is one that is God centered rather than self-centered. This is the position we must assume to have God begin to work in our lives. This is the beginning of our new life and the end of our agnosticism. Reliance upon God comes as a result of our direct personal experience with this Power solving problems for us that we could never solve on our own.

3

Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well.

We may be confused about what it is that we need. We thought that if we satisfied our desires we would be happy. we thought that if only we could get our way we would be happy. As we awaken spiritually, we find that the inner joy that comes from conscious contact with our Higher Power stays with us through happy times and sad times and is truly all we need.

5

More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life.

Our attention, thoughts and actions when focused upon ourselves result in misery. Turning our attention to how we may be of use to others results in freedome from self and a sense of purpose and usefulness. This new way of life begins with the decision to redirect ourselves in this manner.

6

As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of m ind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow, or the hereafter.

Moving ourselves from teh center of our lives creates a vacuum that God rushes in to fill. We find power available to us that we formerly did not possess. The redirection of our thinking and reliance upon God gives us a peace and serenity that supplies the relief that we formerly sought through self-will.

9-12

Many of us said to our Maker, as we understood Him: "God, I offer myself to Thee---to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!

Prayer is a method of establishing contact with God. People who pray find that it works. To make a beginning all we need to do is try. The next steps work to clear away the things in us that block us off from God. We learn to ask God through prayer to save us from our resentments (67:5), outgrow our fears (68:22), mold our ideals (69:18), and remover our defects of character (76:7). The following steps serve to make us capable of following the direction of our Higher Power (77:4). The final steps help us to broaden and deepen our relationship with God.

This is the third step prayer. All of the subsequent steps depend upon the decision made in this step.

13

We thought well before taking this step making sure we were ready; that we could at last abandon ourselves utterly to Him.

To abandon something is to give up all claim to it. Once we have decided to turn our will and our lives over to God, we give up all claim to reject how God intends to direct our lives.

15

But it is better to meet God alone than with one who might misunderstand.

It is important that wew take this step with someone who understands alcoholics. Those who do not understand the desperate nature of the dilemma we find ourselves in may think this too drastic a step and attempt to change our plan (74:15). We who must find a Power greater than ourselves must not be deterred from following this path by those who do not understand.

17

This was only a beginning, though if honestly and humbly made, an effect, sometimes a very great one, was felt at once.

This is the beginning of our new way of life. To the extent that we are able to surrender our will to God do we feel the results of our decision.

63:18-64:1

Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action, the first step of which is a personal housecleaning, which many of us had never attempted. Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in Ourselves which had been blocking us.

This is precise, specific and clear-cut direction for when to begin our fourth step. We follow our third step decision "at once" with our fourth step. Procrastination will leave us blocked from the Power we need.


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D.

[nandm]

1

Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in Ourselves which had been blocking us.

Our third step decision is vital (life giving, crucial and necessary). We are unlikely to continue this program if we have not taken the third step.

How many times have we made decisions and then found ourselves unable to carry out our decisions? The emotions that caused us to make our decision fades or our circumstances change and we lose the motivation for action. Our third step decision is just the beginning. The authors promise us permanent effect from our decision if we work hard at the following steps.

Our fourth step is a method of identifying and admitting the truth about the makeup of our character. What exactly is it in ourselves that blocks us off from God? If we are to access this Power, we must place ourselves in the position to have these defects themselves removed. Our fourth step, followed by the subsequent steps, accomplishes this.

2-3

Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions.

Our drinking and the unmanageability of our lives are symptoms of the fundamental defects of our character. If our problems in life were caused by drinking, then they would go away once we stopped drinking. The improvement in our lives resulting from abstinence is likely a temporary respite if we fail to address the things in us that block us off from our Higher Power.

4

Therefore, we started upon a personal inventory.

The fourth step is a technique by which we identify the aspects of our characters that block us off from God. During our fourth step, we learn methods of accessing the power of God to accomplish things that we have been unable to accomplis for ourselves.

10

If the owner of the business is to be successful, he cannot fool himself about values.

We have fooled ourselves about the value of the principles by which we now live. Many of us tell lies hoping to make ourselves more attractive to other people. Rather than helping to build close relationships with these people our lies separate us from them. We developed many of our methods of relating to others as tools to get us what we wanted. Here is our opportunity to evaluate the way we live, think and act.

13

First, we searched out the flaws in our makeup which caused our failure.

The examination of our character is a daunting task. The authors suggest where we should begin. We must not be distracted by trying to soothe our damaged egos, build our self esteem or develop pride. A healthy self respect will come as a result of this work along with humility that produces self-worth based on fact rather than delusion or misplaced ideals. Recognition of who and what we really are, coupled with an effort to seek and do God's will, fills our lives with value and meaning replacing our prideful self-loathing and self-pity.

15

Resentment is the "number one" offender.

To hold a resentment is to re-feel the anger of a past event. Sometimes we will replay an argument in our minds. A conversation in which we felt we were slighted is replayed over and over and we imagine what we should have said in return. Perhaps we plan what we sill say the next time we encounter the offending person.

DEFINTION:
Resentment: to re-feel an injury or insult

17

From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick.

The physical illness we suffer is our allergy to alcohol. The mental illness is our inability to stop drinking entirely. Our spiritual illness is our selfishness and self-centerdedness. The solutions to our problem comes when we overcome this spiritual malady.

19-20

In dealing with resentments, we set them on paper. We listed people, institutions or principles with whom we were angry.

The fourth step is simple, but the lack of willingness to follow directions is a common trait of alcoholics. Rather than tell us what we should do, the authors show us what they have done: "In delaing with resentments we set them on paper." If we desire the same results as the authors, we must be willing to follow their example. The first instruction for the fourth step is that we are to write our resentment down on paper.

The format for the resentment list of our fourth step is a four column table. The first three columns are illustrated in paragraph 65:5 and the fourth column is explained on 67:11-19.

To begin our fourth step all we need to do is write the name of someone at whom we have been angry or resentful. This is simple. We have all been angry at someone at one time or another. It is likely that we are currently holding grudges against several people. Perhaps we could start by listing our family members. Many of us harbor resentments at institutions such as the court systems, schools, our workplaces and of societal institutions such as marrage. The authors suggest that we also list these. Guiding principles we feel have been imposed upon us are another source of resentment and should be included in our list. We write down all those people, institutions or principles that readily come to mind. As we progress we add to this list any further resentment that we can recall.

21-22

We asked ourselves why we were angry. In most cases it was found that our self-esteem, our pocketbooks, our ambitions, our personal relationships (including sex), were hurt or threatened.

The directions for the second column are simple; we write down why we were angry. As we develop insight, we will see that our interpretation of events is not always accurate. Many of us have found it helpful to list the facts and write only what actually happened rather than our interpretatoin. As an example we could write, "My spouse told me to slow down." This is what actually happened. An example of how we might interpret the events is as an attack upon our competency to control our actions. Our interpretation of the event should be saved for the third column, where we describe what in us was affected by the event.


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D

[nandm]

3-4

On our grudge list we set opposite each name our injuries. Was it our self-esteem, our security, our ambitions, our personal, or sex relations, which had been interfered with?

5

We were usually as definte as this example:

I'm resentful at:----------The Cause--------------Affects my:
Mr. Brown-----------His attention to my----------Sex relations
----------------------wife.------------------------Self-esteem (fear)
--------------------Told my wife of my-----------Sex relations
----------------------mistress.--------------------Self-esteem (fear)
--------------------Brown may get my job at-----Security.
----------------------the office.-------------------Self-esteem (fear)
Mrs. Jones----------She's a nut....she------------Personal relationship.
----------------------snubbed me. She------------Self-esteem (fear)
----------------------commited her husband
----------------------for drinking.
----------------------He's my friend.
----------------------She's a gossip.
My employer--------Unreasonable-unjust----------Self-esteem (fear)
----------------------..Overbearing..---------------Security
----------------------Threatens to fire
----------------------me for drinking
----------------------and padding my
----------------------expense account.
My wife-------------Misunderstands and----------Pride-Personal and
----------------------nags. Likes brown.----------sex relations
----------------------Wants house put in----------Security (fear)
----------------------her name.

The first three columsn of our resentment list are illustrated. There is a fourth colums that is not shown. That column is described later in the chapter. The three columns that we see here are roughly what our three columns will look like if we follow the direction of the authors. We have found a legal pad (8 1/2" x 14?) of paper works nicely when turned on its side so that it is longer than it is tall. Leave plenty of room for the fourth column.

6

We went back through our lives.

Many of us have found it useful to begin with resentments that have lost some of their impact on us through the passage of time. When we are in the heat of a resentment we may hold on too strongly to our interpretations of events and our justifications for our feelings and actions. We practice on less immediate resentments and in this way gain the insight to accurately analzye our most current and significant resentments. If we feel an immediate need to address a current and troubling resentment, we should by all means proceed.

7

Nothing counted but thoroughness and honesty.

It does not matter how elequent we are or if our spelling is correct, all that matters is thoroughness and honesty. If we have not included all we need to, then we have not been thorough. If we have not told the truth,if we have embellished upon or left out important details, then we have not been honest. It does not matter what format we use as long as we are able to see the truth about ourselves.

One of AA's greatest strengths is that there is no dogma. How we do this does not matter. If we want to do it differently, we are free to. As long as we look at the areas suggested, we will obtain the same results as the authors.

8

When we were finished we considered it carefully.

This "careful consideration" refers to the first three columsn of our resentment list. We are going to learn a new and successful method of dealing with these resentments that incorporates asking for the help of God.


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D.

[nandm]

65:3-4

On our grudge list we set opposite each name our injuries. Was it our self-esteem, our security, our ambition, our personal, or sex relations, which had been interfered with?

We begin the third column of our resentment list by examining exactly how we are affected by the events in the second column. The authors give us a list of areas likely to be affected. It may help to write on sentence for each area that is affected and elaborate a bit on each one. This examination helps us sort out why we are mad and enables us to develop insight. We begin to see why we feel and react the way that we do.

[nandm]

3

Sometimes it was remorse and then we were sore at ourselves.

DEFINITION:
Remorse: to feel regret (re: again, morse: bite).

7-8

It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worth while.

God speaks softly and when our minds are loud and angry we are deaf to the guidance we want and need to live. While we stew in the boiling pot of resentment, we are not free to be happy, and useful to others.

10

We found that it is fatal.

"Our very lives depend upon out constant thought of others and how we may meet their needs" (20:1). While our minds are spinning resentments and weaving plots of revenge, we are blocked off from other people and God.

12-13

The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die.

This is a good reason to abandon our old ways of dealing with resentment. A resentment that occupies our mind and hearts leaves no room for our Higher Power to enter into our lives. Without this Power we are defenseless against the first drink.

14

If we were to live, we had to be free of anger.

To be free of something is to be out from under its control. We are not suggesting that we must be without anger. However, it is essential that we be in control of this powerful emotion and not the other way around. Our Creator gave us the ability to be angry so that we could protect ourselves, not so that our anger could harm us and those we love.

DEFINITION:
Free: not bound by. Out from under the control of.

15

The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us.

DEFINITION:
Brainstorm: a sudden violent attack of mental disturbances.
Grouch: a person who sulks.

18

We were prepared to look at it from an entirely different angle.

We become prepared to abandon our old ways be seeing for ourselves, through our fourth step, that our way does not work. If we do not learn new ways of dealing with life, our lives will remain miserable even after we stop drinking. We did not quit drinking to remain miserable, we quit so that we could find peace and happiness.

19

We began to see that the world and its people really dominated us.

By allowing the actions of others to determine what we think and feel, we lose control of our own lives. Like an occupying army, resentment takes our lives hostage.

22-23

We saw that these resentments must be mastered, but how? We could not wish them away any more than alcohol.

The authors, once again, show us what they have done. The way we have been dealing with resentments has allowed them to accumulate to the point where they threated our very lives. We turn to spiritual help to conquer our resentments. By being willing to look at those who have harmed us in a new way and asking God to help, we learn a successful way of dealing with resentment. Repeatedly seeing for ourselves that this aspect of a spiritually-based life works, enables us to rely ever more fully upon God to solve our problems.

66:24-67:1

This was our course: we realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick. Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves were sick, too.

A shift in perception is suggested. We judge ourselves by our intentions while others judge us by our actions. We, being spiritually ill, are unable to live up to our own ideals. Even though we have good intentions, we harm others by trying to get what we want. Perhaps those who harm us are well-intentioned but spiritually ill also. If we can see their harmful actions as symptoms of this illness rather than an attack upon us as individuals, we can give them the understanding and forgiviness that we desire for ourselves.


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D.

[nandm]

2-6

We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience the we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, "This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done."

This prayer is a method of accessing Divind Power to accomplish what we are unable to do for ourselves. We decide to change our minds and we ask God to change our hearts. By repeatedly trying to practice this spiritual principle, we live our way into a new way of thinking.

11-19

Referring to our list again. Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes. Where had ew been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking, and frightened? Though a situation had not been entirely our faul, we tried to disregard the other perons involved entirely. Where were we to blame? The inventory was ours, no the other man's. When we saw our faults we listed them. We placed them before us in black and white. We admitted our wrongs honestly and were willing to set these matters straight.

We use this pause between the third and fourth columns of our resentment list to access a Power greater than ourselves. Now, having accessed this Power to remove from us the anger that blocks us from seeing our part in these situations, we begin to take our own inventory. Just as in their directiosn for the third column, the authors offer us several areas of our character to explore in the fourth column of our resentment list. Writing a sentence describing how these characteristics apply in each situation is helpful in showing us the varying manifestations of each defect. Knowing precisely what each of these terms means is important if we are to see clearly how they affect our lives and the lives of those we come in contact with. These terms are a good starting point in the examination of our moral makeup. There are many other character defects that we may learn to identify in ourselves and thus position ourselves for their removal.

The authors intend for us to include this written roster of character defects in our fourth step. Having left most of our page blank after the first three columns were finished, we have pleny of room to include this list.

Once we honestly admit our wrongs to ourselves and see clearly the harm these shortcomings cause us, we can be willing to renounce our resentments and go about correcting the mistakes we have made.

20

Notice the word "fear" is bracketed alongside the difficulties with Mr. Brown, Mrs. Jones, the employer, and the wife.

Fear is a faith that something bad is going to happen. The authors show us where to note the fears that we identify. In our next fourth step list, we examine the fears that we have noted here and learn a successful method of outgrowing these fears.

DEFINITION:
Fear: a faith that something bad is going to happen

21

This short word somehow touches about every aspect of our lives.

Unexamined fears unconsciously control our actions. When, in many situations we act upon faith that something bad is going to happen, we place ourselves in teh position to be hurt.


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D

[nandm]

2-23

We reviewed our fears thoroughly. We put them on paper, even though we had no resentment in connection with them. We asked ourselves why we had them. Wasn't it because self-reliance failed us? Self-reliance was good as far as it went, but it didn't go far enough. Some of us once had great self-confidence, but it didn't fully solve the fear problem, or any other. When it made us cocky, it was worse.

Perhaps there is a better way --- we think so. For we are now on a different basis; the basis of trusting and relying upon God. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. We are in the world to play the role He assigns. Just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us, and humbly rely on Him, does He enable us to match calamity with serenity.

We never apologize to anyone for depending upon our Creator. We can laugh at those who think spirituality the way of weakness. Paradoxically, it is the way of strength. The verdict of the ages it that faith means courage. All men of faith have courage. They trust their God. We never apologize for God. Instead we let Him demonstrate through us, what He can do. We ask Him to remover our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be. At once, we commence to outgrow fear.

DEFINITION:
18----Paradoxically: apparently contradictory, i.e,. dependence upon God equals freedom and strength.

The clear-cut directions for the fears list of our fourth step are given here. Clearly, we are to write this list down. We add to the fears we idenitfied in our resentment list any other fears that we may have. The first column contains a descripton of our fear, e.g., "I am afraid of being alone." The second column contains the reason we have this fear and the third column contains the solution to our fear. The authors suggest a reason for our fears, which is a reliance upon our human resources rather than God.

We who have no experience with God working in our lives believe that our own human resources are the only power to which we have access. Our fear comes from the knowledge that our own power is often not enough. Some of our fears are instinctual, such as the fear of falling that we have from the time we are born. We learn some fears from experience. We expereience a negative result and we have faith that we will always expereince that same result. We may ask someone for help and be rejected, so we fear we will be rejected again. Fears such as this govern our actions. Some fears serve to keep us out of danger but when we are controlled by unreasonable fears we are not always free to act in our own best interests. This is a method of applying reason and the Power of God to our fears.


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D

[nandm]

2

We reviewed our fears thoroughly.

We look at our fears again. Many of the fears that control us are unreasonable. We have never applied reason to them. We adopted many of the ideas behind our fears prior to becoming mature aduts. This is our chance to re-evaluate our fears when we are sober adults.

3

We put them on paper, even though we had no resentment in connection with them.

By listing the fears taht we have, we develop the ability to identify the forces within us that drive us to act the way we do. Many of our less desirable reactions to life are the result of fears. We may treat our spouse badly because we fear they may leave us. We may avoid other people because we fear they may not life us. We may steal because we fear we may not be able to make it on our own. None of these methods of coping with life are entirely successful. By listing our fears, examing them in the light of our new way of life, and seeking help from God, we place ourselves in the position to begin to outgrow them.

8

When it made us cocky, it was worse.

Using bravado to cover up our fear and denying that we have it is one of the signs of fear causing us to act in foolish ways.

10-12

For we are now on a different basis; the basics of trusting and relying upon God. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. We are in the world to play the role He assigns.

We adopted this new basis for our lives by making our third step decision.

This is a good example of exactly how to put our decision into action. Our old way was to rely solely on our own inner resources and coping skills we had developed over time. We either avoided the source of our fear or we denied having it and acted in an unsuccessful way to overcome it. Our new way to deal with our fear is to identify it, examine it and ask God to remove it. This way works. As we try it repeatedly on all our fears, we see for ourselves that it does work and we come to rely upon it.

13

Just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us, and humbley rely on Him, does He enable us to match calamity with serenity.

The key word her is "do." Seeking to do God's will as we gain a thorough understanding of who and what we really are will produce in us the humility necessary to receive God's grace. We see that our problems are of our own making in our lives. God gives us the strength to meet life's difficulties when we are humble enough to ask for it.

18-21

All men of faith have courage. They trust their God. We never apologize for God. Instead we let Him demostrate, through us, what He can do.

Knowing that God will give us the strength to meet any of life's challenges gives us courage. When we relied solely on our own power, fear of failure would sometimes prevent us from even trying. When we are seeking to do God's will, we know even what seems to be failure will turn out for the best. We can learn and grow rather than have our self esteem destroyed by our failures.

22

We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be.

This prayer is the key to overcoming our fears. Turning to God for help is the guiding principle of our new way of life. this prayer asking God to remove our fear is an important part of our new way of life. Rather than be driven by worrying about what we may lose or fail to gain for ourselves, we ask God to help shape our lives.

23

At once, we comence to outgrow fear.

Our fears, based on self, no longer fit in our new lives. As we change the focus of what we desire in life from the satisfaction of our instinctual drives to a life based upon seeking God's will our fears seem to disappear. By relying upon our Higher Power, we find that our needs are met and that our wants change. Our self-centered fears of losing what we have and of not getting what we want lose their power over us.

26

But above all, we tried to be sensible on this question.

How we best ensure sound judgment in the area of relationships with others is by following the authors' suggestions to avoid hysterical thinking or advice (70:2), seek the calm rational counsel of others (69:26), seek the guidance of God (69:18), and in the end let God be our judge (69:26)

Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D

[nandm]

Now about sex. Many of us needed an overhauling there. But above all, we tried to be sensible on this question. It's so easy to get way off the track. Here we find human opinions running to extremes---absurd extremes perhaps. One set of voices cry that sex is a lust of our lower nature, a base necessity of procreation. Then we have the voices who cry for sex and more sex; who bewail the institution of marriage; who think that most of the troubles of the race are traceable to sex causes. They think we do not have enough of it, or that it isn't the right kind. They see its significance everywhere . One school would allow man no flavor for his fare and the other would have us all on a straight pepper diet. We want to stay out of this controversy. We do not want to be the arbiter of anyone's sex conduct. We all have sex problems. We'd hardly be human if we didn't. What can we do about them?

We reviewed our own conduct over the years past. Wehere had we been selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate? Whom had we hurt? Did we unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion, or bitterness? Where were we at fault, what should we have done instead? We got this all down on paper and looked at it.

In this way we tried to shape a sane and sound ideal for our future sex life. We subjected each relations to this test---was it selfish or not? We asked God to mold our ideals and help us to live up to them. We remembered always that our sex powers were God-given, and therefore good, neither to be used lightly or selfishly nor to be despised and loathed.

Whatever our ideal turns out to be, we must be willing to grow toward it. We must be willing to make amends where we have done harm, provided that we do not bring about still more harm in so doing. In other words, we treat sex as we would any other problem. In meditation, we ask God what we should do about each specific matter. The right answer will come, if we want it.

God alone can judge our sex situation. Counsel with persons is often desirable, but we let God be the final judge. We realize that some people are as fanatical about sex as others are loose. We avoid hysterical thinking or advice.

Suppose we fall short of the chosen ideal and stumble? Does this mean we are going to get drunk? Some people tell us so. But this is only a half-truth. It depends on us and our motives. If we are sorry for what we have done, and have the honest desire to let God take us to better things, we believe we will be forgiven and will have learned our lesson. If we are not sorry, and our conduct continues to harm others, we are quite sure to drink. We are not theorizing. These are facts out of our experience.

To sum up about sex: we earnestly pray for the right ideal, for guidance in each questionable situation, for sanity, and for the strength to do the right thing. If sex is very troublesome, we throw ourselves the harder into helping others. We think of their needs and work for them. This takes us out of ourselves. It quiets the imperious urge, when to yield would mean heartache.

The third area we focus on in our fourth step is sex. We continue the columnar format we learned in the resentment list. The direction to write this down is clear (69:15). The authors suggest the aspects of our sex lives we should concentrate on (69:10-14). We begin to practice spiritual principles in this area of our lives by asking for God's help (69:18).

[nandm]

5-6

We want to stay out of this controversy. We do not want to be the arbiter of anyone's sex conduct.

The authors do not speak to us from a moral hilltop. They do not assume to be empowered to judge us. This attitude can enable us to be useful to others when they come to us for advice. Regardless of our own beliefs in this matter, the spiritual solution is available to us to solve any problems we may have.

9

What can we do about them?

This book gives us specific answers to our questions about what we can do regarding our sex problems. The authors give us clear-cut directions on how to solve the sex problems in our lives by showing us precisely what they have done. If we are willing, we can follow the authors' example and find out how to solve our sex problems by accessing the power of God.

10

We reviewed our own conduct over the years past.

Once again, we search our past and reexamine each of our relationships. In doing so we recognize behaviors that we repeat, causing all of our relationships to end the same way. When laid out before us in black and white it is easier for us to determine if the way we have been living is working for us or not.

11

Where had we been selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate?

Our selfish and self-centered basis for life also affects our sex lives and relationships. We lie to and manipulate others to get our way. We disregard the best interests and well being of others. We cause great harm physically, mentally and spiritually to those we come in contact with.

12

Whom had we hurt?

We hurt those we have relationships with and also those around them in a widening ripple effect. The parents, siblings, children, future sex partners and spouses of those with whom we have had relationships may all feel the effects of the harm we have caused through our sex conduct.

13

DId we unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion or bitterness?

We list each such instance where we feel our conduct has awakened these feelings in others. These feelings may arouse a desire to retaliate that is very hard to break free of and has destroyed many relationships.

14

Where were we at fault, what should we have done instead?

Our new outlook upon life allows us to stop blaming others and see where we were at fault. The shortcomings listed in this paragraph are just a starting point. The more precise we can be when identifying our defects the better we will be at recognizing them when they appear. We have many defects of character that may be listed.

Our new outlook upon life opens our eyes to see what we should have doen in our relationships. We see the result of our being driven by our own selfish goals and what would have been best for each person involved. In this way we can begin to form guiding principles for our future conduct.

18

We asked God to mold our ideals and help us to live up to them.

By making this prayer, we get to experience for ourselves the guidance and power of God. We abandon our old way of living and thinking. The new basis for our lives is to rely upon God. If we were able to live up to our ideals on our own, we probably would have. The prayer suggested here brings the power of God to bear upon our relationships and sex lives. This is a practical method and as we experience its effectiveness we develop faith that it will continue to work if we practice it.

19

We remembered always that our sex powers were God-given, and therefore good, neither to be used lightly or selfishly nor to be despised and loathed.

As alcoholics, we may tend toward extremes. We are seeking balance in our lives. The two views cited here are extremes and should be avoided.

20-24

Whatever our ideal turns out to be, we must be willing to grwo toward it. We must be willing to make amends where we have done harm, provided that we do not bring about still more harm in so doing.

We are learning how to deal successfully with life's problems. The self-examination and reliance upon God's help that we practice in the fourth step, coupled with the actions suggested in the subsequent steps of this program, result in our being able to overcome difficulties that used to baffle us. This is a way of life that works.


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D

[nandm]

3-11

Suppose we fall short of the chosen ideal and stumble? Does this mean we are going to get drunk? Some people tell us so. But this is only a half-truth. It depends on us and our motives. If we are sorry for what we have done, and have the honest desire to let God take us to better things, we believe we will be forgiven and will have learned our lesson. If we are not sorry, and our conduct continues to harm others, we are quite sure to drink. We are not theorizing. These are facts out of our experience.

If we remain the same selfish, self-centered people we are now, we are certain to drink again. It is only by the total refocusing of our motives in life, as a result of our spiritual awakeing, that we are delivered from the gates of death. Indifference to the welfare of others is evidence that we are basing our decisions on selfishness. Our sobriety and our very lives depend upon our consciously seeking to act in the best interest of others (20:1)

To begin this new way of life, we ask God daily to direct our thinking and eliminate self-seeking motives (86:16)

When we forgive someone we give of ourselves prior to receiving anythign from the other person. We may have mistakenly believed we would have to be a "good" person before we could receive help from God. God gives us the power we need to live up to our ideals as soon as we are humble enough to ask.

12-22

To sum up about sex: we earnestly pray for the right ideal, for guidance in each questionable situation, for sanity, and for the strength to do the right thing. If sex is very troublesome, we throw ourselves the harder into helping others. We think of their needs and work for them. This takes us out of ourselves. It quites the imperious urge, when to yield would mean heartache. If we have been thorough about our personal inventory, we have written down a lot. We have listed and analyzed our resentments. We have begun to comprehend their futility and their fatality. We have commenced to see their terrible destructiveness. We have begun to learn tolerance, patience, and good will toward all men, even our enemies, for we look on them as sick people. We have listed the people we hurt by our conduct, and were willing to straighten out the past if we could.

The solution to our problems lies in our being willing to seek God's help. The fourth step helps us to identify exactly what the problem is. Without this self-examination we may be confused as to what is the real problem. We have defects in our characters, mistaken ideas, and attitudes about the source of happiness and satisfaction. By seeing the un-successful and even harmful results of our acting on our old beliefs, we become willing to continue to learn the new way of life suggested in this book.


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D.

[nandm]

1-3

We hope you are convinced now that God can remove whatever self-will has blocked you off from Him. If you have already made a decision, and an inventory of your grosser handicaps, you have made a good beginning. That being so you have swallowed and digested some big chunks of truth about yourself.

The way that we become convinced of the ability of God to change our lives is by doing the things suggested in this program. When we experience for ourselves that this works to solve our problems, we acquire faith --- a reliance upon the power of God. It is our old ideas and attitudes about life, the symptoms of which are our defects of character, that stand in the way of our access to God. By swallowing and digesting big chunks of truth about ourselves, we are nourished and can grow.

We do not do our fourth step merely to gain self-knowledge. Self-knowledge will not solve our alcoholic problem (39:3). Our writting helps to clear away self-justification which allows us to honestly appraise our character. When combined with attempts to establish a relationship with God, it produces spiritual experience, experiences of God working in our lives. We may build upon this as we continue in this new way of life. Our purpse is to discover the obstacles in ourselves so that the grace of God can enter us and expel the obsession that compels us to drink.


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D.

[nandm]

[nandm]