Chapter Five: How It Works

[nandm]

The problem is clearly stated--we are alcoholic---our lives are unmaneable. We understand the severity of the problem which is that nohuman power could relieve our alcoholism. Faced with alcoholic destruction we have become willing to look in the direction of spiritual help. We have compared ou own experience with that of the authors and see the truth. Alcoholism has annihilated all things worthwhile in life or is in the process of doing so. All of our efforts to overcome this illness have failed. Convinced we do not possess the power to stop drinking, we are willing to go to any lengths to recover. We ask those who have recovered "What do we have to do?"

In the forward the authors promised that they would show us precisely how they had recovered (xiii:20. Following this, they said they would tell us specifically what we can do (20:4-5) and also that they would give us clear-cut directions how to do it (29:1). In "How it works" the authors present us with their program of recovery. Step by step they show us what they have done (59:8-60:1). The directions for Step One are on page 30:7. The directions for Step Two are on page 47:8-9. The directions for Steps Three and Four are given in "How it works."

In Step Three we are shown that the difficulties we experience in life are the result of a life based on self-will (60:16-63:7). We ares hown the reason we have been unable to live up to our own philosophical and moral covictions and are asked to make a decision to begin a new way of life (63:8-12). True to the authors' promise of taking clear-cut directions this new way of life begins with techniques for taking a fearless moral inventory of ourselves (63:18-64:3). As we begin the process of accessing this Power we find that there are aspects of our character that prevent us from recieving the help we need. To discover just exactly what these things in us are that block us from establlishing a new relationship with God is the purpose of the fourth step.

A.A. is a suggested program, not a program of suggestions. We can take it or leave it, but the authors warn us that taken half way this program will avail us nothing. IF we are willing to let go of all our old ideas and ask for God's protection and care with complete abandon, we are ready to begin.

Having conceded to our innermost selves that we are powerless over alcohol--that our lives are unmanageable, we find ourselves faced with the reality that we need help from a Power greater than ourselves if we are to survive. We come to believe as the authors have told us, that this power is available to us. Thus we ask God for protection and care.

The program of action is outlined (59:8-60:1). We are encouragaed to make progress towards the ideals set down (60:2-9). The conceptual basis for the first two steps are reiterated (60:10-13). We are given a method to determine if we are at the third step (60:14). The results of living a life based on self-will are described (60:16-64:3). The root of our troubles is disclosed (62:2-9). The severity of, and solution to our troubles is laid out (62:11-14). Why and how to find this solution is related (62:15-21). The benefits of applying this solution are promised (63:1-7). The directions for beginning the Third Step are given (63:8-13). The proper time to begin our Fourth Step, the attitude to adopt while working on it and the reasons this step is necessary is spelled out (63:18-64:3). The similarity between a business inventory and our moral inventory is shown (64:4-12). The directions for the first three colums of the Fourth Step resentment list are found (64:13-65:7). A pause in which to view the people we have been mad at in a new way is suggested (65:8-67:10). The instructions for the Fourth column of our resentment list are given (67:11-19). A method by which we may examine and begin to outgrow our fears is suggested (67:20-68:23). Our sex problems may be addressed by applying the program of action detailed (68:24-70:22). The chapter is summarized (70:17-23). The authors' hopes are related (71:1-3).

[nandm]

Introduction: The authors introduce the program of action

The Twelve Steps: The Twelve Steps are summarized into one sentance statements. We may adopt these suggestions if we choose.

The A, B, C's: If we have accepted these three propositions, we have taken the first two steps towards recovery and are ready for step three.

Step Three: The root of our troubles is disclosed, and a new attitude towards God is suggested along with a prayer that is the beginning of our new way of relatiing to and relying on our Higher Power.

Step Four Resentment List: We identify our resentments, who what and why we have been angered. Next we learn a new way of dealing with them through forgiveness and reliance upon God.

Step Four Fears List: Our fears are brought out into the light and we learn that reliance upon God is a successful way to outgrow them.

Step Four Sex List: We examine our sex relations learning to turn to God to mold our ideals and help us live up to them. We find that by seeking we are given the guidance we need on how to make amends in each situation.

[bonsai12]

?

[WLDKATZ]

Originally Posted by nandm

Introduction: The authors introduce the program of action

The Twelve Steps: The Twelve Steps are summarized into one sentance statements. We may adopt these suggestions if we choose.

The A, B, C's: If we have accepted these three propositions, we have taken the first two steps towards recovery and are ready for step three.

Step Three: The root of our troubles is disclosed, and a new attitude towards God is suggested along with a prayer that is the beginning of our new way of relatiing to and relying on our Higher Power.

Step Four Resentment List: We identify our resentments, who what and why we have been angered. Next we learn a new way of dealing with them through forgiveness and reliance upon God.

Step Four Fears List: Our fears are brought out into the light and we learn that reliance upon God is a successful way to outgrow them.

Step Four Sex List: We examine our sex relations learning to turn to God to mold our ideals and help us live up to them. We find that by seeking we are given the guidance we need on how to make amends in each situation.

this list is most interesting where did you get it

[nandm]

Originally Posted by WLDKATZ

this list is most interesting where did you get it

The Annotated AA Handbook
A companion to the Big Book
By Frank D.

Excellent resource book for understanding the Big Book.

[nandm]

1

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.

The authors, as well as many others who have gone before us, have laid down a path for us to follow. We have stumbled blindly through life with no reasonable conception of life's meaning. By following this new path, we find a way of life that goes somewhere.

2-5

Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty.

The unfortunate people referred to here are us. These are clear warnings that unless we can find the willingness to give this program an honest try we will not recover.

We grasp this program as the drowning grasp a life preserver. We develop this way of life by practicing the 12 Steps in all areas of our lives.

8

Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now.

The study of how best to carry the message of this book is a very rewarding pursuit. Here are directions on how to present our experience, strength, and hope. Too detailed of an accounting would accentuate the differences between individuals rather than the similiarities of the progression of alcoholism in one's life. We who have recovered explain to the new person that we have experienced the same baffling symptoms. This helps them see that we know what we are talking about so when we speak of the solutions we found the new person can see how to apply this solution for themselves. Telling of these results gives the new person hope that this way of life will also work for them.

9

If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any lengths to get it---then you are ready to take certain steps.

What do these people have that we would want? What is it that we need to be willing to go to any lengths to get? The "it" they are referring to is a spiritual awakening (79:5), the result of which is victory over alcohol (76:19).

10

At some of these we balked.

This seems a polite way of saying that we balk at all of these steps. We refuse to admit our powerlessness over alcohol until it becomes undeniable even to us. We are unwilling to believe in the power of God until we see we have nowhere else to turn. We hang onto our self-will until misery makes us let go. We resist an inventory of ourselves out of fear and pride. We hang on to our secrets until the weight of them nearly drags us down. We are unwilling to let go of the worst aspects of our characters until we clearly see that they are the cause of our failure in life. Still, we doubt the power of God and think we should work to overcome our defects rather than let God remove them.

11-12

We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not.

What could be harder than stumbling through the dark as we have been? A well trodden path, illuminated by the light of God, stretches out before us. We can be encouraged that even the difficult parts lead us closer to our destination. Those who have traveled this path before us assure us that they have tried every conceivable alternate route and have found this to be the surest way.

14

Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

As we progress through the stesp, we see how our ideas and attitudes have caused us trouble. In the first step, we must let go of the idea that someday we will be able to control and enjoy our drinking. In the second step, we must let go of our prejudice toward spiritual principles. As we continue, we let go of all those things in us that block us off from God.

Partially adoping this way of life, picking those aspects of it that we find convenient and not too difficult, will not produce the desired result. A mere change of behavior does not equal the entire psychic change necessary to overcome alcoholism.


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D

[nandm]

1

Withoug help it is too much for us.

This is the foundation of the first and second steps: we are powerless over alcohol and help is available by turning to a Power greater than ourselves.

4

Half measures availed us nothing.

Once again the authors state that nothing short of a complete abandonment of our old way of life is required. Half measures do not yield half results. This is an all or nothing proposition (53:9-10). We can hold on to our old ideas and continue to suffer or we can cast them away and adopt a completely new set of ideas and attitudes. God makes this possible. Our old lives, based on the notion of self-sufficiency, did not work. To begin this new life, all we need to do is voluntarily ask for God's help.

7

Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a Program of Recovery:

This is a suggested program, not a program of suggestions. We can adopt this way of life if we want or reject it if we feel we know a better way. Adopting some parts of this program and ignoring or evading other parts is unlikely to allow us to experience an entire psychic change. This is not a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life. This is a program of action which if practiced in whole will bring about a vital spiritual awakening that will remake out fundamental natures in a way that is indeed miraculous.

59:8-60:1

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-----that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual experience as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

here the program of action is laid out for us to examine. If we have taken the first two steps toward recovery, we can now decided whether we want to continue. To go on as we have been, or to accept a way of life based on the conscious awareness of the existence of God, what is our choice to be?


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D

[nandm]

2-9

Many of us exclaimed, "What an order! I can't go through with it. Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.

Awakening spiritually does not stop us from being human. At times we willfully disregard the will of our Higher Power. We try to apply these principles in every area of our lives, but being human we sometimes fall short. The benefits of trying to lead a spiritually based life are so great that we return to the path as soon as we recognize the errors of our ways. As we progress spiritually, the time we spend in the darkness of self-will lessens and the times we spend in the Sunlight of the Spirit lengthens.

10

Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:

We have seen the symptoms of alcoholism presented very clearly; the development of a physical craving for more once we begin to drink and a subtle form of insanity that prevents the almost certain consequences of drinking from keeping us from taking the first drink.

14

Being convinced, we were at step three, which is that we decided to turn our will and our life over to God as we understood Him.

We are not at the third step unless we are convinced of propositions A, B, and C above. We can ask ourselves, if we agree absolutely with these three ideas. If we are not convinced, we should re-read the book to this point. It is unlikely that we will be willing to do what is necessary to recover if we are not convinced.

15

Just what do we mean by that, and just what do we do?

The authors said earlier that they would tell us specifically what they had doen to recover. If we have decided to adopt the methods that were successful for them, we must meet a few simple requirements.

16

The first requirement was that we be convinced that any life run on self-will could hardly be a success.

How has the way we have been living working for us? Are we not prey to misery, depression, resentment and remorse? These things are caused by the failed basis of our lives, the basis of self-will. We have lived as though the satisfaction of our instinctual desires for sex, society and security will bring us happiness and fulfillment.

When we hear that "there are no musts in AA," many of us are relieved and think that this means we will not have to do anything to revover. But when we hear that "there is no right or wrong way to work this program," we who have admitted powerlessness over alcohol are fearful that there is nothing we can do to recover. This is a suggested program; we do not have to follow it if we do not want to. But if we do wish to follow this path there are things we must do and requirements we must meet. Should we decide to do the things that the authors did, we can expect the same results----recovery from alcoholism.


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D.

[nandm]

3-6

In trying to make these arrangements our actor may sometimes be quite virtuous. He may be kind, considerate, patient, generous; even modest and self-sacrificing. On the other hand, he may be mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest. But, as with most humans, he is more likely to have varied traits.

We have developed many of our personality traits because we believed that by applying them we would get our way in life. These traits are some of the human resources we have at our disposal. They are seemingly effective in many circumstances. We feel successful when we get our way.

7

What usually happens?

How are these techniques for living working for us? We believe that these techniques are all we have and when our self-seeking behavior does not work we try even harder to manipulate the situation to suit us.

15

What is his basic trouble?

The foundation from which we currently base our ideas, attitudes, decisions, and action is that the satisfaction of our instinctual desires for sex, security, and society will lead to happiness and fulfillment. Once we recognize that because we have constructed our lives on this faulty foundation we can never be truly successful, we can begin to structure our lives upon a new stable foundation. Our admission of powerlessness is the bedrock (tt21:10) upon which we set a foundation of complete willingness and begin to build our new lives (12:17).


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D.

[nandm]

2

Selfishness-self-centeredness!

Acting in our own legitimate self-interest is not selfishness. Selfishness is a lack of concern for the welfare of others.

If alcohol were the cause of our troubles, they would go away when we stop drinking. What this program addresses is the root cause of our troubles in life. Our selfishness causes us to ignore our responsibilities to others. We pursue the satiation of our desires and disregard the effect our actions may have on others.

4-5

Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retailiate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly, without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self, which later placed us in a position to be hurt.

The reasons we feel and behave as we do are not always readily apparent. The ability to recognize why we react as we do is one of the benefits of the fourth step. We examine in detail and learn ways to remove the aspect of our characters that block us off from God and prevent us from leading a successful life.

6

So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making.

Everyone has problems in life and alcoholics are no different (tt114:1-15). However leading the selfish, self-centered life of an alcoholic makes for especially hard going (52:6). Restricted by the belief that we have only our own human resources to draw upon, we fail to solve our problems. Our troubles multiply and appear impossible to solve (xxvi:2). The purpose of this book is to enable us to find a Power that will solve our problems (45:8-9).

7

They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so.

One of the hallmarks of alcoholic insanity is the certainty that our thinking is sound and that everyone else is the cause of our problems. Taking the steps of this program brings us toward the restoration of sanity. The first requirement is that we must discard the idea that we can be successful by selfishly applying our will to any situation.

8

Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness.

We can find the willingness to abandon our old way of life by admitting that if we do not we may die. The misery we are going through now will only get worse as long as we continue to live our lives based on selfishness and self-centeredness. The authors show us the way out of the seemingly inescapable trap we are in.

12-20

Many of us had moral and philosphical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God's help.

This is the how and why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal, we are His agent. He is the Father, and we are His children.

The reason we cannot live up to our own ideals is that we lack the needed power. God has the power to remake our lives and this book shows us how to find this Power. If we could change ourselves to be the kind of people we want to be, we would have done so a long time ago. Most of us have tried a number of methods to bring about just such a change with little or no effect. The authors, who are like us in this respect, report that they have found a way that works. They promised that they would show us precisely what they have done (xii:2) and that they would answer our questions specifically (20:5), giving us clear-cut directions (29:1). They keep their promise by telling us how to find god and why we need to follow their directions.

We gain victory over alcohol by finding freedom from the tyranny of selfishness.

62:21-63:3

Most good ideas are simple and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom. When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed. We had a new Employer. Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well.

The keystone holds all the other pieces of our arch in place. It is the concept upon which all the other concepts presented in this program depend. Currently, we determine our course by deciding which actions are most likely to bring about the satisfaction of our instinctual desires for sex, society and security. The authors are suggesting that the only successful guiding principle is to seek to fulfill God's will rather than our own.

DEFINITION:
62:21---Keystone: something upon which associated things depend.

We are given several concepts of God in the hope that we will be able to adopt one that will work for us. Prejudices towards religious terms and spiritual concepts can only hinder our progress. We choose a conception of God that we can accept and begin to work at expanding it.


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D

[nandm]

1

When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed.

The position we take is one that is God centered rather than self-centered. This is the position we must assume to have God begin to work in our lives. This is the beginning of our new life and the end of our agnosticism. Reliance upon God comes as a result of our direct personal experience with this Power solving problems for us that we could never solve on our own.

3

Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well.

We may be confused about what it is that we need. We thought that if we satisfied our desires we would be happy. we thought that if only we could get our way we would be happy. As we awaken spiritually, we find that the inner joy that comes from conscious contact with our Higher Power stays with us through happy times and sad times and is truly all we need.

5

More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life.

Our attention, thoughts and actions when focused upon ourselves result in misery. Turning our attention to how we may be of use to others results in freedome from self and a sense of purpose and usefulness. This new way of life begins with the decision to redirect ourselves in this manner.

6

As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of m ind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow, or the hereafter.

Moving ourselves from teh center of our lives creates a vacuum that God rushes in to fill. We find power available to us that we formerly did not possess. The redirection of our thinking and reliance upon God gives us a peace and serenity that supplies the relief that we formerly sought through self-will.

9-12

Many of us said to our Maker, as we understood Him: "God, I offer myself to Thee---to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!

Prayer is a method of establishing contact with God. People who pray find that it works. To make a beginning all we need to do is try. The next steps work to clear away the things in us that block us off from God. We learn to ask God through prayer to save us from our resentments (67:5), outgrow our fears (68:22), mold our ideals (69:18), and remover our defects of character (76:7). The following steps serve to make us capable of following the direction of our Higher Power (77:4). The final steps help us to broaden and deepen our relationship with God.

This is the third step prayer. All of the subsequent steps depend upon the decision made in this step.

13

We thought well before taking this step making sure we were ready; that we could at last abandon ourselves utterly to Him.

To abandon something is to give up all claim to it. Once we have decided to turn our will and our lives over to God, we give up all claim to reject how God intends to direct our lives.

15

But it is better to meet God alone than with one who might misunderstand.

It is important that wew take this step with someone who understands alcoholics. Those who do not understand the desperate nature of the dilemma we find ourselves in may think this too drastic a step and attempt to change our plan (74:15). We who must find a Power greater than ourselves must not be deterred from following this path by those who do not understand.

17

This was only a beginning, though if honestly and humbly made, an effect, sometimes a very great one, was felt at once.

This is the beginning of our new way of life. To the extent that we are able to surrender our will to God do we feel the results of our decision.

63:18-64:1

Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action, the first step of which is a personal housecleaning, which many of us had never attempted. Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in Ourselves which had been blocking us.

This is precise, specific and clear-cut direction for when to begin our fourth step. We follow our third step decision "at once" with our fourth step. Procrastination will leave us blocked from the Power we need.


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D.

[nandm]

1

Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in Ourselves which had been blocking us.

Our third step decision is vital (life giving, crucial and necessary). We are unlikely to continue this program if we have not taken the third step.

How many times have we made decisions and then found ourselves unable to carry out our decisions? The emotions that caused us to make our decision fades or our circumstances change and we lose the motivation for action. Our third step decision is just the beginning. The authors promise us permanent effect from our decision if we work hard at the following steps.

Our fourth step is a method of identifying and admitting the truth about the makeup of our character. What exactly is it in ourselves that blocks us off from God? If we are to access this Power, we must place ourselves in the position to have these defects themselves removed. Our fourth step, followed by the subsequent steps, accomplishes this.

2-3

Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions.

Our drinking and the unmanageability of our lives are symptoms of the fundamental defects of our character. If our problems in life were caused by drinking, then they would go away once we stopped drinking. The improvement in our lives resulting from abstinence is likely a temporary respite if we fail to address the things in us that block us off from our Higher Power.

4

Therefore, we started upon a personal inventory.

The fourth step is a technique by which we identify the aspects of our characters that block us off from God. During our fourth step, we learn methods of accessing the power of God to accomplish things that we have been unable to accomplis for ourselves.

10

If the owner of the business is to be successful, he cannot fool himself about values.

We have fooled ourselves about the value of the principles by which we now live. Many of us tell lies hoping to make ourselves more attractive to other people. Rather than helping to build close relationships with these people our lies separate us from them. We developed many of our methods of relating to others as tools to get us what we wanted. Here is our opportunity to evaluate the way we live, think and act.

13

First, we searched out the flaws in our makeup which caused our failure.

The examination of our character is a daunting task. The authors suggest where we should begin. We must not be distracted by trying to soothe our damaged egos, build our self esteem or develop pride. A healthy self respect will come as a result of this work along with humility that produces self-worth based on fact rather than delusion or misplaced ideals. Recognition of who and what we really are, coupled with an effort to seek and do God's will, fills our lives with value and meaning replacing our prideful self-loathing and self-pity.

15

Resentment is the "number one" offender.

To hold a resentment is to re-feel the anger of a past event. Sometimes we will replay an argument in our minds. A conversation in which we felt we were slighted is replayed over and over and we imagine what we should have said in return. Perhaps we plan what we sill say the next time we encounter the offending person.

DEFINTION:
Resentment: to re-feel an injury or insult

17

From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick.

The physical illness we suffer is our allergy to alcohol. The mental illness is our inability to stop drinking entirely. Our spiritual illness is our selfishness and self-centerdedness. The solutions to our problem comes when we overcome this spiritual malady.

19-20

In dealing with resentments, we set them on paper. We listed people, institutions or principles with whom we were angry.

The fourth step is simple, but the lack of willingness to follow directions is a common trait of alcoholics. Rather than tell us what we should do, the authors show us what they have done: "In delaing with resentments we set them on paper." If we desire the same results as the authors, we must be willing to follow their example. The first instruction for the fourth step is that we are to write our resentment down on paper.

The format for the resentment list of our fourth step is a four column table. The first three columns are illustrated in paragraph 65:5 and the fourth column is explained on 67:11-19.

To begin our fourth step all we need to do is write the name of someone at whom we have been angry or resentful. This is simple. We have all been angry at someone at one time or another. It is likely that we are currently holding grudges against several people. Perhaps we could start by listing our family members. Many of us harbor resentments at institutions such as the court systems, schools, our workplaces and of societal institutions such as marrage. The authors suggest that we also list these. Guiding principles we feel have been imposed upon us are another source of resentment and should be included in our list. We write down all those people, institutions or principles that readily come to mind. As we progress we add to this list any further resentment that we can recall.

21-22

We asked ourselves why we were angry. In most cases it was found that our self-esteem, our pocketbooks, our ambitions, our personal relationships (including sex), were hurt or threatened.

The directions for the second column are simple; we write down why we were angry. As we develop insight, we will see that our interpretation of events is not always accurate. Many of us have found it helpful to list the facts and write only what actually happened rather than our interpretatoin. As an example we could write, "My spouse told me to slow down." This is what actually happened. An example of how we might interpret the events is as an attack upon our competency to control our actions. Our interpretation of the event should be saved for the third column, where we describe what in us was affected by the event.


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D

[nandm]

3-4

On our grudge list we set opposite each name our injuries. Was it our self-esteem, our security, our ambitions, our personal, or sex relations, which had been interfered with?

5

We were usually as definte as this example:

I'm resentful at:----------The Cause--------------Affects my:
Mr. Brown-----------His attention to my----------Sex relations
----------------------wife.------------------------Self-esteem (fear)
--------------------Told my wife of my-----------Sex relations
----------------------mistress.--------------------Self-esteem (fear)
--------------------Brown may get my job at-----Security.
----------------------the office.-------------------Self-esteem (fear)
Mrs. Jones----------She's a nut....she------------Personal relationship.
----------------------snubbed me. She------------Self-esteem (fear)
----------------------commited her husband
----------------------for drinking.
----------------------He's my friend.
----------------------She's a gossip.
My employer--------Unreasonable-unjust----------Self-esteem (fear)
----------------------..Overbearing..---------------Security
----------------------Threatens to fire
----------------------me for drinking
----------------------and padding my
----------------------expense account.
My wife-------------Misunderstands and----------Pride-Personal and
----------------------nags. Likes brown.----------sex relations
----------------------Wants house put in----------Security (fear)
----------------------her name.

The first three columsn of our resentment list are illustrated. There is a fourth colums that is not shown. That column is described later in the chapter. The three columns that we see here are roughly what our three columns will look like if we follow the direction of the authors. We have found a legal pad (8 1/2" x 14?) of paper works nicely when turned on its side so that it is longer than it is tall. Leave plenty of room for the fourth column.

6

We went back through our lives.

Many of us have found it useful to begin with resentments that have lost some of their impact on us through the passage of time. When we are in the heat of a resentment we may hold on too strongly to our interpretations of events and our justifications for our feelings and actions. We practice on less immediate resentments and in this way gain the insight to accurately analzye our most current and significant resentments. If we feel an immediate need to address a current and troubling resentment, we should by all means proceed.

7

Nothing counted but thoroughness and honesty.

It does not matter how elequent we are or if our spelling is correct, all that matters is thoroughness and honesty. If we have not included all we need to, then we have not been thorough. If we have not told the truth,if we have embellished upon or left out important details, then we have not been honest. It does not matter what format we use as long as we are able to see the truth about ourselves.

One of AA's greatest strengths is that there is no dogma. How we do this does not matter. If we want to do it differently, we are free to. As long as we look at the areas suggested, we will obtain the same results as the authors.

8

When we were finished we considered it carefully.

This "careful consideration" refers to the first three columsn of our resentment list. We are going to learn a new and successful method of dealing with these resentments that incorporates asking for the help of God.


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D.