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|11-30-2011, 01:43 PM||#1 (permalink)|
i am not an illegitamite child
Join Date: May 2008
ahh! step one
Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol ~ that our lives had become unmanageable.
(im jessica, seemingly addicted to my mother)
Do I accept that I cannot control another person’s drinking? Another person’s behavior?
excessive drinking at home isnt the biggest problem (lately) it is the constant problems of someone I live with. no matter what, there is always problems and she never deals with them. and i "know" that my constant answer-giving isnt helping.
How do I recognize that the alcoholic is an individual with habits, characteristics and ways of reacting to daily happenings that are different from mine?
different than mine? I am a clone of her. didnt used to be that way. i used to be an individual
Do I accept that alcoholism is a disease? How does that change how I deal with a drinker?
I have trouble with this. i did some research today and found that its the thinking that makes it a disease. that makes sense.. kinda
How have I tried to change others in my life? What were the consequences?
back a thousand years ago when the drinking was really bad, yeah, i tried to change her. i was nasty, snarky, rude judgmental
What means have I used to get what I want and need? What might work better to get my needs met?
as a song that my uncle used to sing, whine nag bellyache bitch and moan. accept that i have my own wants and needs and be like, smoother about it.
How do I feel when the alcoholic refuses to be and do what I want? How do I respond?
What would happen if I stopped trying to change the alcoholic or anyone else?
holy cow. what a question! it would free up 24 hours a day!
How can I let go of others’ problems instead of trying to solve them?
i dont know
Am I looking for a quick fix to my problems? Is there one?
always. and no.
In what situations do I feel excessive responsibility for other people?
In what situations do I feel shame or embarrassment for someone else’s behavior?
every time im out in public with her.
What brought me to Al-Anon? What did I hope to gain at that time? How have my expectations changed?
i went to my first meeting years ago, and it was because a therapist told me i should go. i had no idea what was going on, and i tried so hard to work the program but couldnt. i didnt know what to expect but ended up more frustrated and angry.
Who has expressed concern about my behavior? My health? My children? Give examples.
How do I know when my life is unmanageable?
its always been unmanageable. lately i feel it more when i go to job interviews and i cry. im isolated, anti-social, angry. i have no relationships.
How have I sought approval and affirmation from others?
Do I say “yes” when I want to say “no”? What happens to my ability to manage my life when I do this?
Do I take care of others easily, but find it difficult to care for myself?
How do I feel when life is going smoothly? Do I continually anticipate problems? Do I feel more alive in the midst of a crisis?
for years i have a "sixth sense" and i "know" what the people around me are going to do/want to do. like when im driving, standing in line, etc. my head is jacked up and i never know what i want/need. when things are going "well" i do get anxious and afraid, i know its jsut a matter of time till life goes down to hell in a handbasket.
How well do I take care of myself?
very, very, very badly
How do I feel when I am alone?
good, lately. easy to detach when no one is around. but the feeling of being alienated is very strong
What is the difference between pity and love?
seems like pity is trying to change/help someone else. love just leaves it alone
Am I attracted to alcoholics and other people who seem to need me to fix them? How have I tried to fix them?
yup. i see my patterns now. back a million years ago i was a seemingly happy person and was always to "cheer people up", positive words, positive quotes, doing favors etc.
Do I trust my own feelings? Do I know what they are?
no, never. lately i feel more but i still dont trust them
(well that didnt hurt so bad, wonder if thats a good thing lol)
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