How do I know that I really "get" step one? - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

newnormal4me · 10-27-2010, 09:55 PM

What are some examples of this? What would indicate I'm ready to move forward?

Abundance · 11-19-2010, 12:17 AM

I don't know - Maybe if you try the next step and it's really hard? ... then you aren't ready.

I'm wondering if you can keep going back to step 1 for different reasons... i.e. right now - i'm there for an entirely different circumstance than I was 2 years ago.

meditation · 11-21-2010, 09:02 PM

As a recovering RA, I found as I went thru the steps that many of the steps had to be redone. I kept having to do step one admit I was powerless and also step 3 handing it all over to my hp. I am really good at hanging onto things that aren't mine to keep. So I have to constantly admit to step one Again because of this and this is very very normal in recovery to go back over it. Even when a new crisis hits, it's back thru the steps many times to surrender. And with surrender comes acceptance and peace.

**CatsPajamas** · 11-22-2010, 05:58 AM

I often call it the recovery waltz as I revisit some of the steps in my life over and over again. One-two-ten seems to be my favorite variation.

I knew I was "getting" step one when I started to recognize more and more things in my life over which I was truly powerless. I stopped struggling so much with the people, places and things in my life that just weren't going the way I wanted them to.

newnormal4me · 11-24-2010, 10:21 AM

Wow, thanks everyone! I guess I saw the steps as a "check it off" sort of thing, but based on what you said, it's okay to see it more fluid - with back and forths being okay. Crazy as it sounds, that helps a lot because I know I've conquered some of the other steps, but keep finding myself back at step one, then feel like I'm failing the whole process. I need to buckle down and just keep at it. THANKS!!!

Spawn · 07-10-2011, 11:31 AM

The steps have no time line.
Take your time....if you feel ready to move on.....go for it.
You can always go back and revisit the previous step.

blwninthewind · 09-22-2011, 12:04 AM

Fluid v check off list

I like that! Makes it clear for me to understand. Thanks!

sugarbear1 · 09-23-2011, 01:23 PM

Do you have a sponsor?

PWisdom · 05-14-2012, 07:06 PM

I am totally lost. I need to find a way to be at peace with my daughter's addiction. I understand I cannot make her quit drinking, but does this mean I cannot have a relationship with her at all? Sometimes I am not even sure I want a relationship with her.

Spes · 05-14-2012, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PWisdom

I am totally lost. I need to find a way to be at peace with my daughter's addiction. I understand I cannot make her quit drinking, but does this mean I cannot have a relationship with her at all? Sometimes I am not even sure I want a relationship with her.

I had the same thoughts as you. Someone here recommended the book: "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie that taught me the idea of loving detachment.

I think if you post in the Friends and Family of Alcoholics or Friends and Family of Substance Abusers forums you will get more replies faster than in the study forums.

Take care.

Neagrm · 04-12-2013, 12:53 PM

I practice Step 1 everyday, every minute of my life, and will do so as long as I live. In order to do any other step, Step 1 is essential to do over and over again. It's a way of life. (It has so much more meaning, depth, significance/beauty than the first time I worked it many years ago.)

10-27-2010, 09:55 PM	#1 (permalink)
newnormal4me Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 385	How do I know that I really "get" step one? What are some examples of this? What would indicate I'm ready to move forward?

11-22-2010, 05:58 AM	#4 (permalink)
CatsPajamas Forum Leader Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: In my little piece of heaven Posts: 3,064	I often call it the recovery waltz as I revisit some of the steps in my life over and over again. One-two-ten seems to be my favorite variation. I knew I was "getting" step one when I started to recognize more and more things in my life over which I was truly powerless. I stopped struggling so much with the people, places and things in my life that just weren't going the way I wanted them to. __________________ What other people think of me is really none of my business!

09-23-2011, 01:23 PM	#8 (permalink)
sugarbear1 ~sb Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: MD Posts: 9,761	Do you have a sponsor? __________________ Someday everything will all make sense. For now, laugh at confusion, smile through tears, & remind yourself that everything happens for a reason. All Big Book quotes are from the first edition. Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

11-21-2010, 09:02 PM	#3 (permalink)
meditation Member Bubble Bugs Champion! Alchemy Champion! Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 2,062	As a recovering RA, I found as I went thru the steps that many of the steps had to be redone. I kept having to do step one admit I was powerless and also step 3 handing it all over to my hp. I am really good at hanging onto things that aren't mine to keep. So I have to constantly admit to step one Again because of this and this is very very normal in recovery to go back over it. Even when a new crisis hits, it's back thru the steps many times to surrender. And with surrender comes acceptance and peace.

11-24-2010, 10:21 AM	#5 (permalink)
newnormal4me Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 385	Wow, thanks everyone! I guess I saw the steps as a "check it off" sort of thing, but based on what you said, it's okay to see it more fluid - with back and forths being okay. Crazy as it sounds, that helps a lot because I know I've conquered some of the other steps, but keep finding myself back at step one, then feel like I'm failing the whole process. I need to buckle down and just keep at it. THANKS!!!

07-10-2011, 11:31 AM	#6 (permalink)
Spawn Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Ontario Posts: 804	The steps have no time line. Take your time....if you feel ready to move on.....go for it. You can always go back and revisit the previous step.

09-22-2011, 12:04 AM	#7 (permalink)
blwninthewind Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 448 Blog Entries: 3	Fluid v check off list I like that! Makes it clear for me to understand. Thanks!

05-14-2012, 07:06 PM	#9 (permalink)
PWisdom Member Join Date: May 2012 Location: Geneva, FL Posts: 2	I am totally lost. I need to find a way to be at peace with my daughter's addiction. I understand I cannot make her quit drinking, but does this mean I cannot have a relationship with her at all? Sometimes I am not even sure I want a relationship with her.

04-12-2013, 12:53 PM	#11 (permalink)
Neagrm Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Colorado, USA Posts: 351	I practice Step 1 everyday, every minute of my life, and will do so as long as I live. In order to do any other step, Step 1 is essential to do over and over again. It's a way of life. (It has so much more meaning, depth, significance/beauty than the first time I worked it many years ago.)

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