Making restitution when not required to..

[AW2486]

Background. Back in the early 1980’s me and two friends stole some Duck Decoys from a private hunting club. This is an amend I have been fearing forever. Today I was in the area, and decided to drive past it. I asked God for direction, turned around. Nobody was there at the club, so I knocked on the first house closest to it. A lady answered, said she was the manager of it. She remembered the decoys being stolen. I made the amend and asked what was needed for restitution. She said me just showing up and owning up to it was enough and that I actually did her a favor. She said she got tired of fixing up those old decoys every year and was after the club members to buy new ones. I had a wonderful twenty-minute talk with her. She refused to take anything for restitution. I am grateful for how it turned out but still feel the need to make restitution.

After I left I remember what a Priest told me to do in regards to this amend. If I couldn’t find anybody to make the amend to, make a donation to something. I wished I would have thought of this when I was talking to her.

Should I contact her again and find out how much the stuff was worth? And tell her of my plans to make a donation to a food shelf?

Or should I just make a donation without contacting her again?

Or should I let it go and consider the amend completed.

Thanks for any feedback.
Andy

[dgillz]

Great story. I get really frustrated when people think an apology = amends. I think an amends almost always includes an apology, but in most cases is just a start.

You made a great effort and the apology was accepted as your amends, so IMHO you need do nothing else. If you want to that is up to you. If you do there is no need to contact here again.

I do like your priest's thinking BTW.

[Tommyh]

Andy I had a sponsor get me to make a donation elsewhere once and just not say anything about it to the parties involved in the original incident
cost of damage plus interest from date of my crime....
good job!

[Rob B]

I love hearing about amends, most overlooked word in the Big Book is ALL. Pray on it and see how you are guided, I'd say you were clear, follow through with how the spirit moves you after you have sat with it.

My experience with amends like this, where the people wanted no financial restitution is, after spending time with them, I make an anonmous donation to a charity I support in the amount that I owed. Several of these are ongoing, maybe I take a guy out to lunch or help out a brother who's in hard financial times, I keep an acount just for this kind of stuff, I am current on my financial amends but I continue to do this kind of thing regularly, why? I am selfish, I like the way it makes me feel.

[barb dwyer]

I had a wonderful twenty-minute talk with her. She refused to take anything for restitution. I am grateful for how it turned out but still feel the need to make restitution.

Take a minute and understand you did far more than many.

She said nothing more ws needed.
let that be what it is, then.

Check that one off your list and pray for guidance to the next one.

Just a thought, though...
from the duck's point of view, possibly, but since
You want to do something more -

maybe go to a park and feed some ducks! LOL!

[Found]

Originally Posted by AW2486

... And tell her of my plans to make a donation to a food shelf? ...

Don't tell anyone about the donations except your sponsor - just a principle I heard of says he on step 2