What role does amend-ee play in step 9?

[saved]

My ex-wife, who has a severe credibility problem, is allegedly going through step 9. As a background, she abandoned our two children (and our marriage) over five years ago. The children were 6 and 8 years old when she decided to go into drinking full time and seeking drinking "buddies."


Lots of hurt here. Neglect of children. Destruction of property. Theft. Abandoning responsibilities, maternal and financial.


Look, let me not whine OK? But, working full time and parenting full time has taken its toll on my life. I am not a mommy.

But, the big hurt is...LIES. One lie atop another.

I am sober---drugless, boozeless. I am grateful for this and the LORD was obviously looking out for us. So I do not have a clue about drinking or what is going on here.

I do know lies when I hear them. Even my oldest child recognizes the distorted reality. "It did not happen that way Mom." "I do not believe you Mom."

What role should I play in this amends process? Should I allow her to paint the picture of what needs mending?

If I do, I get lies. No sense of neglect, destruction, thefts, abandonment.

I do not want to be an enabler or road block. Frankly, if we did not have children and an out-of-court supervised visitation agreement, I would move to another state.

I must supervise her visits with the children. Otherwise, adios!

Any advice on what role should I play. Bring reality and truth into the process or agree with the lies or stare silently ?

[CarolD]

Hi......

You may not have noticed this Forum
it's for the Friends and Family of Alcoholics

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

You can find lots of support and understanding there.
Are you attending Al anon for yourself?

To answer your question.......
how you respond is strickly up to you.

All my best....

[saved]

A faux pas.

Sorry and thanks.