on_step_8 - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Kjell · 05-04-2010, 08:56 AM

Hi all-

I've recently completed step 5, 6, & 7 and of course next comes 8.

Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

It's going to be a long list and yes, I know I'm only on step 8, but I can't help but think, with a head full of fear, about the preceding step 9 (actually making the amends).

Any suggestions or experience on step 8?

Thanks,
Kjell

keithj · 05-04-2010, 09:17 AM

Right on!!! Oh, Kjell, it's about to get good for you. Freedom awaits, my friend.

It's Step 8. Make a list. The book tells us we already have it. We made it when we took inventory. So, start with that. A name, and a very brief description of the harms we did. Then another name, and a very brief description of harms. Then, if there are other harms I did that didn't make my resentment, fear, or sex inventory, those get listed as well (after I've 4th Stepped pg 67 directions with them and 5th Stepped them).

I like to stick each one on a 3x5 index card. Person's name and what harms I did. So at the end of my 8th Step, I have a stack of 3x5 cards, one per person.

That's it. Then I take it 2 my sponsor and we discuss how to best set things right. Actually, I discuss this with him before I stick it on index cards, so I've weeded out some of the undoable amends, or one's I'm not willing to make at this time.

And then I pray pray pray for the willingness. As soon as I'm able (willing) I go and make that amend. But that's Step 9 and it's best to keep focused on making a list right now.

sugErspun · 05-04-2010, 10:42 PM

Precisely what Keith said..right down to the 3x5 cards and reviewing with someone

>The person
>The harm

Some that I thought I would have to approach got tossed out in discussion with my sponsor (to my surprise, but the 'reason' was discussed before tossing any out), as well as some I did not think I would have to make (not a big deal, they didn't notice or care, they won't remember me..etc) I ended up having on a card.

Really glad to read it Kjell.

One thing I found useful - don't think about step 9 while I am on step 8, just make the list and be open to the willingness that comes. It does come!

~

05-04-2010, 08:56 AM	#1 (permalink)
Kjell i've done my almost Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 1,919 Blog Entries: 1	on_step_8 Hi all- I've recently completed step 5, 6, & 7 and of course next comes 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. It's going to be a long list and yes, I know I'm only on step 8, but I can't help but think, with a head full of fear, about the preceding step 9 (actually making the amends). Any suggestions or experience on step 8? Thanks, Kjell __________________ B/c alcohol did for me what I could not do for myself.

05-04-2010, 09:17 AM	#2 (permalink)
keithj Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 2,763	Right on!!! Oh, Kjell, it's about to get good for you. Freedom awaits, my friend. It's Step 8. Make a list. The book tells us we already have it. We made it when we took inventory. So, start with that. A name, and a very brief description of the harms we did. Then another name, and a very brief description of harms. Then, if there are other harms I did that didn't make my resentment, fear, or sex inventory, those get listed as well (after I've 4th Stepped pg 67 directions with them and 5th Stepped them). I like to stick each one on a 3x5 index card. Person's name and what harms I did. So at the end of my 8th Step, I have a stack of 3x5 cards, one per person. That's it. Then I take it 2 my sponsor and we discuss how to best set things right. Actually, I discuss this with him before I stick it on index cards, so I've weeded out some of the undoable amends, or one's I'm not willing to make at this time. And then I pray pray pray for the willingness. As soon as I'm able (willing) I go and make that amend. But that's Step 9 and it's best to keep focused on making a list right now.

05-04-2010, 10:42 PM	#3 (permalink)
sugErspun Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 1,697	Precisely what Keith said..right down to the 3x5 cards and reviewing with someone >The person >The harm Some that I thought I would have to approach got tossed out in discussion with my sponsor (to my surprise, but the 'reason' was discussed before tossing any out), as well as some I did not think I would have to make (not a big deal, they didn't notice or care, they won't remember me..etc) I ended up having on a card. Really glad to read it Kjell. One thing I found useful - don't think about step 9 while I am on step 8, just make the list and be open to the willingness that comes. It does come! ~

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