Discussion and Sharing Welcomed! - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

CarolD · 12-01-2006, 12:09 PM

Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

CarolD · 12-08-2006, 06:44 PM

It was such a looog list..I was discouraged.

Then I realized that I did not have to do
all at one time! Duh!

Thanks for letting me share.

GlassPrisoner · 01-08-2007, 07:36 AM

Well, my list came straight out of step 4.

My sponsor and I agreed that close family members and people active in my life would be the first to get their amends. Then, old bosses and co-workers.

I wanted to make amends with my ex-wife immediately, as I feel guilty for my part in the separation.(We're still technically married). My sponsor said to be careful because we are not divorced yet, and I should wait a little while.

lanie67 · 04-18-2007, 01:12 AM

I have done this twice. I listed everyone and everything I ever resented on my 4th step...and then for the 8th got it down to the people. I don't even know if I have the list anymore...I did all of them except the financial which I am ashamed to say that I still have not done (but that is 9th step). It scares me to think that at this point I might have others to add to the list now that I have more perspective.

Pilgrim · 08-10-2007, 01:33 PM

I am doing Step 8 today. There were some people I forgot on my fourth step. Should I go back and do step 5 again or should I just go ahead and add them to my step 8 list?

CarolD · 08-11-2007, 12:35 PM

I would simply add them in on the new list.

Glad to see you are doing well!

TimmyO · 09-27-2007, 03:39 PM

This was my list from the fourth step plus some others for whom I had no resentments towards, fears of, or any sex conduct issues, but had in fact, harmed in some way, shape or form.

After making the list, I was certainly NOT willing to make amends to them all, most, but not all. This is why guidance is so important, my sponsor suggested the Joe and Charlie method for organizing my list: Three columns: Right Now; Maybe in the future; and never. Then I had to pray for willingness on all of them, and start step nine on the right nows... suffice it to say, after 5 years, I have the willingness on all of them and when I get to the step nine posting, I'll let you know how many I have left to do!

THanks once again! (What is that, 18 cents now?)
Tim

Debaucher · 12-04-2007, 04:03 AM

I had a minor revelation this morning... step 8 and step 9 are not the same step. and really step 8 is 2 parts... one make the list... 2 become willing to make amends (you don't have to know what the proper amends is)...

;-)

time to get to work...

Rob B · 12-04-2007, 06:45 AM

One of the most overlooked words in the steps is that little word, with tremendous implications. ALL

I'm quite sure all means all. I always ask folks who relapse and are blessed enough to get back to AA the same questions. Did you spend time with God the day you relasped-the answer is always no. I always ask have you made all your ammends you are aware of, the answer again is always no. It would appear there is a correlation between these two questions.

The freedom that comes from this step and the 9th is incredible, any sponsor that whittles down an 8th step list to make it more "tolerable" is denying the sponsee freedom.

How do I know I am willing? I hear strange noises, such as me knocking on a door to make my ammend.

CarolD · 12-09-2007, 01:42 AM

Yes...I do think it means ALL
otherwise I am not doing my best.

Did I make a list to the best of a blackout drunk?
Yes..I did. Did I miss someone? Probably.

But I was willing then and now.

Thanks for letting me share

***nandm*** · 11-01-2009, 08:41 AM

12-01-2006, 12:09 PM	#1 (permalink)
CarolD Forward we go...side by side Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Serene In Dixie Posts: 37,601	Discussion and Sharing Welcomed! Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. __________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery!

12-08-2006, 06:44 PM	#2 (permalink)
CarolD Forward we go...side by side Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Serene In Dixie Posts: 37,601	It was such a looog list..I was discouraged. Then I realized that I did not have to do all at one time! Duh! Thanks for letting me share. __________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery!

01-08-2007, 07:36 AM	#3 (permalink)
GlassPrisoner Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Murrieta, Ca Posts: 2,683	Well, my list came straight out of step 4. My sponsor and I agreed that close family members and people active in my life would be the first to get their amends. Then, old bosses and co-workers. I wanted to make amends with my ex-wife immediately, as I feel guilty for my part in the separation.(We're still technically married). My sponsor said to be careful because we are not divorced yet, and I should wait a little while. __________________ Life Happens

08-10-2007, 01:33 PM	#5 (permalink)
Pilgrim Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: New Zealand Posts: 1,623	I am doing Step 8 today. There were some people I forgot on my fourth step. Should I go back and do step 5 again or should I just go ahead and add them to my step 8 list? __________________ ************************************ 3 August 2007 Be a fisher of men. You catch them. He’ll clean them! Cliff B (Texas)

08-11-2007, 12:35 PM	#6 (permalink)
CarolD Forward we go...side by side Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Serene In Dixie Posts: 37,601	I would simply add them in on the new list. Glad to see you are doing well! __________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery!

04-18-2007, 01:12 AM	#4 (permalink)
lanie67 Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: south east Posts: 216	I have done this twice. I listed everyone and everything I ever resented on my 4th step...and then for the 8th got it down to the people. I don't even know if I have the list anymore...I did all of them except the financial which I am ashamed to say that I still have not done (but that is 9th step). It scares me to think that at this point I might have others to add to the list now that I have more perspective.

09-27-2007, 03:39 PM	#7 (permalink)
TimmyO Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: South Chicago Heights, IL Posts: 12	This was my list from the fourth step plus some others for whom I had no resentments towards, fears of, or any sex conduct issues, but had in fact, harmed in some way, shape or form. After making the list, I was certainly NOT willing to make amends to them all, most, but not all. This is why guidance is so important, my sponsor suggested the Joe and Charlie method for organizing my list: Three columns: Right Now; Maybe in the future; and never. Then I had to pray for willingness on all of them, and start step nine on the right nows... suffice it to say, after 5 years, I have the willingness on all of them and when I get to the step nine posting, I'll let you know how many I have left to do! THanks once again! (What is that, 18 cents now?) Tim __________________ My inner child is as ill behaved as my outer child.

12-04-2007, 04:03 AM	#8 (permalink)
Debaucher Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Cleveland Ohio Posts: 274	I had a minor revelation this morning... step 8 and step 9 are not the same step. and really step 8 is 2 parts... one make the list... 2 become willing to make amends (you don't have to know what the proper amends is)... ;-) time to get to work... __________________ --- I pray that I don't forget what it was like to be newly sober. ---

12-04-2007, 06:45 AM	#9 (permalink)
Rob B Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Southern New Hampshire Posts: 746 Blog Entries: 5	A Misunderstood Word One of the most overlooked words in the steps is that little word, with tremendous implications. ALL I'm quite sure all means all. I always ask folks who relapse and are blessed enough to get back to AA the same questions. Did you spend time with God the day you relasped-the answer is always no. I always ask have you made all your ammends you are aware of, the answer again is always no. It would appear there is a correlation between these two questions. The freedom that comes from this step and the 9th is incredible, any sponsor that whittles down an 8th step list to make it more "tolerable" is denying the sponsee freedom. How do I know I am willing? I hear strange noises, such as me knocking on a door to make my ammend.

12-09-2007, 01:42 AM	#10 (permalink)
CarolD Forward we go...side by side Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Serene In Dixie Posts: 37,601	Yes...I do think it means ALL otherwise I am not doing my best. Did I make a list to the best of a blackout drunk? Yes..I did. Did I miss someone? Probably. But I was willing then and now. Thanks for letting me share __________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery!

11-01-2009, 08:41 AM	#11 (permalink)
*nandm* Life the gift of recovery! Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Home is where the heart is Posts: 6,777	__________________ NOTE: All BB quotes are from the 1st Edition of the Big Book Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)