Today's Step

[nandm]

Day 1

Keeping the faith

"It's been my experience tht folks who have no vices have very few virtues."

In the Second Step we talked of being restored to sanity by a power greater than ourselves. In the Third, we made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to that power. In the Fifth, we admitted the nature of our wrongs to God. And in the Sixth, we announced our readiness for His intervention.

With the Seventh Step comes our true expresssion of faith. Now we must eliminate any remaining fantasy that we can really handle our own recovery. Without arrogance, we must ask His assistance in removing our shortcomings.

We've all been brainwashed by the good old American rallying cry that all we need to do is pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, dust ourselves off and make a brand-new start.

And this it true---to a certain extent. Certainly, our own efforts are a major factor in our recovery. And yet, without the help of a greater power, we'll find ourselves floundering in that same old rut we've worked so hard to escape. Our personal courage and drive are important assets, to be sure. But the moment we have doubts about the strength of the program and begin to believe, once more, in our own omnipotence, the downward spiral threatens once again.

Today's step: I will replace fear with faith.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

[nandm]

Day 2

Humility is not humiliation

"Humility has its origin in an awareness of unworthiness, and sometimes too in a dazzled awareness of saintliness." Colette

The word, "humbly," which appears in this step, makes some of us more than a little concerned that we're expected to abase ourselves in order to successfully accomplish its intent. Such is not the case, for what we're talking about here is humility----not humiliation.

Humility is the ability to perceive things as they really are, and to acknowledge truthfully where we stand in relation to them. Humility is neither groveling nor meekly bowing to the will of others, nor is it displaying false modesty about our attributes and abilities. It's rather like examining a grain of sand on the beach, comtemplating how big we are in comparision, and then looking at the ocean and realizing how small we are from that perspective.

The qualities we tend to admire most in people are those of simplicity and naturalness. We're most comfortable with people who are up front about their likes and dislikes without being disagreeable; people who neither diminish nor overstate their abilities.

We seek this same kind of balance ourselves. And it is through working both Steps Six and Seven that we're able to achieve the kind of self-acceptance that translates into acceptance by others.

Today's Step:I understand the true nature of humility and I can comfortably embrace it.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

[nandm]

Day 3

False Humility

"If you are reluctant to ask the way, you will be lost." Malay proverb

In the past, many of us developed techniques to escape the wrath of others. One convenient method was to take full blame for everything that happened in our past relationships, no matter how much blame may not have been ours.

We found this to be an excellent defense because, to a degree, it deflected the other person's anger, disappointment, or criticism. By presenting ourselves as defenselss and vulnerable, it made it almost impossible for others to persist in their accusations. Most people find it difficult to hit someone who's already down.

But Step Seven clearly instructs us to let go of all these phony postures and artifices. We do this by learning to operate on a level where we not only acknowledge all our weaknesses and liabilities, but also no longer plead false modesty in denying those strengths, talents, and assets with which we are endowed. We neither demean nor diminish our strengths, nor parade them ina boastful fashion. We do not deny our shortcomings or constantly draw attention to them. Our starting point is a realistic assessment of our current status.

Today's Step: A genuine and balanced humility is my strength.

Step by Step. Muriel ZInk

[nandm]

Day 4

Unwillingness

"If you want a place in the sun, prepare to put up with a few blisters." Abigail Van Buren

By the time we arrive at Step Seven, we've undergone a great deal of self-evaluation and self-appraisal. Sometimes it feels as though more is being demanded of us than we're willing to give. We've accomplished so much by this point, why can't we just kick back and rest for a while? Besides, isn't this pretty much redundant? Didn't we cover all this in Step Six?

Indeed there are similiarities. But Step SIx emphasizes readiness, while Step Seven indicates willingness. And then there's that subtle difference between shortcomings and defects. But if we think of shortcomings as falling short of our capabilities, and realize that the removal of defects can be inhibited by lack of willingness, then the effectiveness of the partnership between these two steps becomes clearer.

This understanding is helpful right about now, when another defect tends to rise up and plague us---procrastination. This is a tremendously powerful habit that gets in the way of our letting go of old patterns and ideas. Procrastination tends to create inertia, which we then defend by saying we've surely worked hard enough already. In reality, though, what it does indicate is an unwillingness to persist in uncovering and discovering any more negative things about ourselves.

Today's Step: I stop procrastinating and become willing

Step by Step. Muriel ZInk

[nandm]

Day 5

The Victim

"People who feel good about themselves produce good results." anonymous.

Today's the day we need to remind ourselves that our inventory didn't simply uncover defects of character. It also revealed our positive side---the strengths that helped sustain us in those times when we felt we were victims of unfair treatment or unfortunate circumstances.

How often have we felt like the man beset with incredibly bad luck. Although he was a spriitual, ethical, moral man, he was cuckolded by his wife, cheated by his partner and humilated by his children. As if that were'nt enough his house burned down, his business failed, his wife left him and his children stole his savings.

Despite all this misfortune, he went out in his field to pary, trying to keep his faith intact. He flung his arms in supplication and looked up to the sky. At that precise momen, a bird flew by and its droppings hit him squarely in the ye.

In utter defeat, the man wiped his eye, looked heavenward again, and cried, "Why God? Why me? For other people sing!"

Unquestionably, we have suffered many bitter blows to our self-image. This is one of the reasons our compulsion held us so long in its grip. Whether this obsession was with people, places, things or substances, it created a definate erosion of our self-respect.

At this point in our program we need to decide whether we will continue to feel the victim, or whether we will use our new tools and new perspective, and walk away from those old hurts and attitudes once and for all.

Today's Step; I let go of the old hurts and misfortunes in order to build a new life today.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

[nandm]

Day 6

Hitching our wagon to our Higher Power

"No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched." George Jean Nathan

Our Higher Power has no interest in manipulating us like puppets on a string. True, the path has been laid out, and the guidelines defined, but each of ous is unique, and each of us must find our own star to hitch our wagon to.

If we can believe that for our differences, each of us represents one of the many faces of God, then we can accept the fact that we're not isolated creatures, apart and distinct from one another. Rather, we're human beings----each individualizinginto the many. Knowing that we're related through our mind and souls, it becomes easier to shuck the elitism of "I" and start thinking in terms of "we." It also becomes easier to put our hands in God's hand, and trust that we will be led into healthy thinking and behavior.

Those of us who may be agnostics or atheists have been going alone, up to this point, in reluctant agreement that a Higher Power does exist. However, hitting Step Seven may prove to be a stumbling block to some.

Once again, postponing judgement and "acting as if" prove to be effective recovery tools. These techniques can be invaluable as we put the Higher Power to the test by our willingness to seek guidance and direction through prayer, meditation, and listening carefully to our intuition.

Today's Step: However I define my Higher Power, I am ready to call on Him now.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

[nandm]

Day 7

High Hopes

"Propaganda is the art of persuading others what you don't believe yourself." Abba Eban

How do we go about asking our Higher Power for help? Meditation is one way. Holding a conversation---in our heads or in writing---is another. Then there's prayer. It need not be formal, although the getting-down-on-your-knees practice is favored by many, for it teaches us about the surprising power of humility. However we choose to pray, it is an expression of faith, and haven't we always heard that "faith can move mountains?"

As children we were told that if we wished upon the first star that shone in the evening sky, our wish would come true. If we didn't get our wish, we became doubting Thomases---but if our wish did come true, we became true believers. Later in life we began to recognize our power to turn our dreams into reality---if we held our hopes high and were willing to do the necessary footwork.

High hopes are what we need when we begin to work Step Seven. They're an indication of probable success in whatever goal we set for ourselves. The person who starts out with an optimistic approach tends to have an edge on those who harbor doubts and skepticism. This doesn't mean that those of us who approach this step with grave misgivings are doomed to failure. It simply means that the path becomes much easier when we're willing to put our beliefs and disbeliefs to the test.

The same ethic we explored in Step One---"surrendering to win"----begins to manifest when we do Step Seven in this spirit.

Today's Step: I approach the healing of my shortcomings with high hopes.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

[nandm]

Day 8

Good Thinking

"Oh, yet we trust that somehow good will be the final goal of ill." Alfred Lord Tennyson.

In Step Seven we concentrate on ridding ourselves of old tapes, old ideas, and old patterns. Our objective is to open our minds and emotions to new possibilities; to think of ourselves as competent human beings whose capabilities and talents are continually developing and emerging.

In order to make room for positive action and reaction, we first need to rid ourselves of the old behaviors and characteristics that stand between us and our growth and well-being. These stumbling blocks have been in place for some time and removing them can be a tough task. We fall into old habits and old ideas so automatically, that it takes constant reappraisal to see where we are: either stuck in the same old patterns or living ourselves into good thinking.

Projections of gloom and doom are the bogeymen in our recovery path, mostly because we've had little firsthand experience with the kind of life our program advocates. All of us fear the unknown. This is where a little faith and trust in those who have gone before us can be very handy. They've seen both sides and continue to assure us of the enormous benefits that lie jsut around the bend.

When we can remind ourselves that many of our past fears never materialized, then we can stop projecting negative thoughts and get on with the business of living today with a positive attitude.

Today's Step: Today my attitude is positive and hopeful

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

[nandm]

Day 9

Enlightened Restraint

"I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy." J.D. Salinger

Most everyone agrees that good character is an asset, and that it is admirable to play by the rules. Yet most of us fall prey to that perversity of human nature that mkes us occassionaly bend the rules to suit our current needs and desires. Then we rationalize our own lapses by saying "Everyone else does it. Why shouldn't I!"

It's when "occasionally" becomes "constantly" that we know we're in trouble. When all we can see is our desire for immediate satisfaction and gratification, it means we've opted to get what we want when we want it without giving any thought to the results of our actions. Impulsiveness---the proverbial trap of not looking before we leap---is hard to cub once we've let it become a habit with us.

But if we're to make any progress at all, we need to recognize each of these demanding impulses, and run it through our inner computer. This is partly to check on whether they're appropriate for our current resolve. It's also partly to tap into our Higher Power for guidance.

In the past we've been motivated by self-centered fear. The fear that we'd either lose something important to us, or fail to get or achieve something we wanted very badly.

Now, in Step Seven, we're able to release those fears and ask our Higher Power to help us to practice enlightened restraint

Today's Step: With the help of a Higher Power, I am able to control my destructive impulses.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

[nandm]

Day 10

Analyzing Failure

"Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor." Truman Capote

Why do we so often see ourselves as being the very personification of failure? What are the ingredients of failure? How do we analyze it?

F: Fear. Frustration. Futility. Fallins short. Fallacies. Fallibility.
Forgetfulness. False pride. Foul-ups. Frailty.

A: Anger. Animosity. Adversity. Arrogance. Arbitrariness. Antipathy.
Anxiety. Alienation.

I: Indifference. Impulsivenes. Isolation. Ill will. Incapacity.
Impatience. Impropriety.

L: Lethargy. Lying. Lechery. Laziness. Lust. Lugubriousness.

U: Unworthiness. Unctuousness. Undutifulness. Unfaithfulness.
Unsociability. Usefulness.

R: Resentment. Regret. Remorse. Rationalization. Revenge. Rage.
Rebellion. Recklessness. Regression.

E: Envy. Extremism. Egotism. Elitism. Emotionalism.

Some of these characteristics are probably very familiar to us. The goal of Step Seven is that having already identified them, we now petition our Higher Power for help in removing.

Today's Step: Because I call on my Higher Power for help daily, I turn failure into success.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink