Today's Step

[nandm]

Day 1

Dropping the armor.

"Self-respect: The secure feeling that noone, as yet, is suspicious. H.L. Mencken

Now we're really ready to clean house. We've identified the nature of our wrongs. We've shared that inventory with God, ourselves and another human being. And the decks are cleared for us to take the action that proves even to ourselves our willingness to proceed. Now that we've uncovered and discovered, we're ready to discard.

But, this is where we run into a whole new issue---the startling realization that we treasure some of our defects of character! They've been a part of us for so long, and they've served our purposes in so many ways that dropping the familiar armor that has protected us from the onslaught of other people's criticism feels much like standing naked in school. In the past, some of us have operated on the theory that a strong offense is the best defense. It's hard to let go of that posture when we're feeling inadequate and defenseless.

Remember that the word "God" can be translated into whatever guiding energy you've chosen to embrace as your Higher Power. But be aware also, that Step Six presupposes that you accept this power as a senior partner in your recovery process.

Today's Step: I let go of defensiveness about my defects of character.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

[nandm]

Day 2

Packing our bags

"He who would travel happily must travel light." Antoine De Saint-Exupery

When we get ready for a trip we have to decide what we're going to pack in our suitcase to meet our needs away from home. Some of us are very methodical about this procedure. Others of us just stuff things willy-nilly into our bags, hoping we've chosen appropriately.

Using the suitcase analogy to work this step, it's clear that the first thing we have to do is dump the entire contents. As we begin to repack, we only want to take those items that work for us---those that are valuable and useable right now. Many familiar and well-worn articles will have to go.

We need to take note of those familiar things that have worked to our disadvantage, and ask for the courage we need to let them go. We have to check our closets and bureaus for appropriate items that have been stored away and to remind ourselves of how valuable they are, and start putting them to good use.

Today's Step:On the path of recovery, I travel light----and lightheartedly.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

[nandm]

Day 3

The history of the pickle

"As long as we feel victimized, we have lost the power to change."

The pickle was once a nice, fat cucumber. When it was left in the brine for a prescribed length of time, it emerged as a pickle. But once it had become a pickle, there was absolutely no way in the world it could ever become a cucumber again.

"What's that got to do with the subject at hand!" you may ask.

Everything. Once we've been caught up in, or addicted to our drug of choice, or compulsive behavior or an aberrant lifestyle, we can never go back to teh way we were before it began. No matter how recovered we are, we will never be able to do in moderation what began by serving us, but in time became our maste.

The bad news is that it's extremely hard to watch others doing with impunity the things that are forbidden to us.

But the good news is that we've become something new---a pickly instead of a cucumber. And this new form allows us to be better, more productive and happier than we've been in our entire lifetime. Extravagant as this promise seems, it has been proven true, time after time, by those who have goen before us.

As we celebrate the new form, it becomes easier to let go of the old. And in that celebration, we become willing to let God remove these defects of charaacter.

Today's Step: I rejoice in the new form my life is taking.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

[jimhere]

This may be good stuff-I don't know. I have no experience with this material. But let's not give people the impression that this is Alcoholics Anonymous. You'll find the program of Alcoholics Anonymous in the book called Alcoholics Anonymous.
Jim

[nandm]

Day 4

One is too many

"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble."

Once we've made the decision to let go of our defects, its foolish to expect immediate results. If they don't materialize quickly we start to waffle. Like making a New Year's resolution to cut sugar out of our diet. Pretty soon we find ourselves rationalizing that after all we don't need to be fanatics about it. We could probably have jsut one or two after-dinner mints or perhaps a few mouthfuls of sherbert.

Talk to anyone who has successfully stopped smoking for a number of years, following failed attempt after failed attempt, and they'll tell you that the surest way to fall back into addiction is to smoke "just one." Recovered alcoholics report that: "One is too many. And a thousand aren't enough." Overeaters Anonymous members say that the moment they introduce one mint or one taste of sherbert into their systems, they're off and running.

It's the same way with our other defects of character We need to resist the temptation to slip back into them in the same way--and with the same tools---that we resist slipping back into the addiction or compulsion that brought us into the program in the first place.

Recovery is a much more complex process than we might have thought at the beginning. This is why it takes time and patience to really focus on our responsibilities rather than complaining about the bad hand life has dealt us. At the onset, it's awkward and hard to conform to this step, but the payoof is enormous.

Today's Step: I avoid the temptation to fall back into my old ways.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

[nandm]

Originally Posted by jimhere

This may be good stuff-I don't know. I have no experience with this material. But let's not give people the impression that this is Alcoholics Anonymous. You'll find the program of Alcoholics Anonymous in the book called Alcoholics Anonymous.
Jim

Thank you Jim. Very good point. That is why there is a reference to the Book this comes from under each post. There has been no claim made that this is the program of A.A.

[nandm]

This is simply an breakdown or "Study" of the steps. One can quote the steps from the Big Book but unless one works on actually trying to understand the steps and how they apply to everyday life then is one truly studying the steps?

[jimhere]

Big difference between study and experience.

[nandm]

I am never ceased to be amazed at how some people feel the need to take a positive and attempt to turn it into a negative.

[nandm]

Day 5

Showing up

"If you can't hide it, paint it red!"

We begin this step simply by suiting up and showing up. We should not expect the process of recovery to be accomplished in one fell swoop. Most of our defects have taken time to develop, and will take time to resolve. None of them are one single thing---simply physical, mental, emotional or spiritual. They are a complex combination of all these aspects.

In addition, while we may identify with similiar problems presented in the stories of others, our defects and shortcomings remain uniquely our own, because they've deveoped within the framework of our own lifestyles and relationships.

As we work Step Six, we need to concentrate on our own defects, not those of others. It's so easy to point the finger and rationalize that it's because of what they did that we behaved the way we did. On the other hand, it's also true that our behavior hasn't been the cause of all the pain and discomfort that has befallen us and those close to us. But, for now, our focus in recovery must be soley on ourselves.

Today's Step: I have patience to keep the focus on myself.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

[nandm]

Day 6

Getting Things Done.

"Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday." Don Marquis

Time now to look over the inventory we compiled in the Fourth Step and decide which of our defects we're willing to have removed.

Our goal is freedom from addiction, and we cannot accomplish this without throroughly clearing away what we've come to see as the wreckage of our past. The first step, of course, is to stop doing what we were doing, because until we succeed in changing our behavior, we have no change to recover. Our rationalization may have been, "I'll stop when I finish this job," or, "I'll stop if he/she comes back to me," or, "I'll stop right after the holidays."

All of these delays add up to procrastination. So, if we see procrastination as one of our defects, we have to ask ourselves how we'd act if we did not procrastinate. What would our behavior be like? One was is to give serious thought to how those who succeed in doing things when they should be done manage their time, and then try to imitate their behavior. We call this "acting as if."

But if our reply is, "I've always been a procrastinator. I just don't think I can change at this stage," what we're really saying is, "I'm unwilliing to follow your path because my case is different."

Today's Step: My procrastination is history! Today I am ready to have this defect removed.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

[nandm]

Day 7

Putting our Money Where Our Mouths Are.

"Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on." Samuel Butler.

From here on in we'll assume that most of us are satisfied with our concept of a Higher Power.

We've already established that those who do not subscribe to the Judeo-Christian ethic may just as efficaciously put their belief in a "cosmic consciousness," or the law of cause and effect, or whatever they choose. The important thing here is to accept the fact that all by ourselves we cannot accomplish this challenge.

This is when we leave our fantasy world and enter the world of reality. We stop dwelling on the harm that others have done to us, and start looking at the ways we've responded. In the process, we let go of the notion of ourselves as helpless victims, and we also let go of the resentments we thought justified our anger. Then we look again at our inventory and rank our defects in order of priority. And we tackle number one first.

Time after time, we've tried making bargains with ourselves and with our Higher Power to get out of any scrapes. We've promised that once we're free of our predicament, we'll never repeat the actions that brought us to this state. Yet, time and again, we've fallen into the same old behavior. Now, however, we're ready to step out the door into a new existence.

"Entirely ready," this Sixth Step says. What a heavy order! This means we embrace this step with no reservations. We're now ready to put our money where our mouth is.

Today's Step: I embrace a Higher Power as the key to removing my defects.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

[nandm]

Day 8

Crossing the Threshold

"The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success." Irving Berlin

When some speech therapists treat stammers or stutters, they have their clients go to a supermarket, choose a long line, and when they come abreast of the checker, ask where they can find an item that is particularly difficult to pronounce. This is done, not to humiliate them, but to build up enough self-esteem to realize that they are deserving and worthwhile people, and that their speech difficulty in no way diminishes them as dignified human beings.

When we set about the business of clearing up these negative characteristics and behavior patterns that have plagued us in our recent past, it's helpful to know that although we have a problem, we are not the problem. We are afflicted with a treatable condition that responds admirably to the program we've begun to follow. And, like the stutterers, our difficulties in no way diminish our worth as human beings. We are worthy of recovery, and of having our defects removed. Knowing that makes it easier to gain the willingness to have God remove them.

Today's Step: I recognize that I am worthwhile, in spite of my flaws.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

[nandm]

Day 9

Laying the Groundwork

"O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet." St Augustine

We have to close one door in order to open another. But it's amazing how reluctant we are to let that first door close. We persist in trying to keep it slightly ajar in case we find it necessary to return to our old familiar path. Painful, admittedly, but familiar. It almost feels better to stay in our pain than to risk embracing the unknown.

We experience nostalgia for the good old days when we didn't know that our characteristics were defects. We try to bargain, telling ourselves, "I'll give up all those if I can just keep this one." We reevaluate our judgment on our inventory work and say to ourselves: "Maybe I've been too hard on myself. Maybe that one isnt really a defect. I probably went overboard in trying to be so scrupulous!"

Although this step may appear to be a passive one, that's far from the truth. We don't simply sit still and say, "Well, here we are. All my defects. O.K. Higher Power---take 'em away." We review our inventory list. We spread it all out before us and use it to choose our first project.

Today's Step: My inventory is the foundation for my further recovery.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

[nandm]

Day 10

Fear has many faces

"The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is."

While the stereotypical image of meekness is a fearful, cringing figure, we view meekness in an entirely different light.

When we suggested developing the quality of meekness to facilitate working this step, we think of patience and humility, both of which are potent factors in our formula for success.

Granted, we do experience a certain amount of fear and uncertainty in letting go of some of those characteristics which have kept others at a distance, but because we've identified them as defects of character, getting rid of them is a "must."

Fear, itself, has many faces. More often than not, it masquerades as other emotions such as anger, resentment, and self-deception.

This is one of the reasons that we've had such difficulty defining the true source of our discomfort, and why it becomes necessary for us to work through these symptoms before we can eliminate fear itself.

Despite the fact that resentment is often the most difficult defect to eliminate, experience has proven it to be an excellent candidate with which to begin Step Six.

Today's Step: I am finding the courage to let go of my character defects.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink