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|02-26-2012, 03:27 AM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2007
? about sex relations
I'm in the process of doing my 4th step now. I was reading in the big book about sex relations, but I have a question. There's been a few people in my life that I've been intensely attracted to. However I never approached any of them to ask them out on a date or to get involved in any way. I have been in conversations with these people, but I always kept my distance. My -ism has rendered me socially inadequate. So with really liking some people, but never doing anything about it I've com to realize that I've been giving off creepy vibes. Would this go in the sex relations category, considering that I've never had sex with any of thee people.
When I think about them I get a negative emotion, but I can't figure out which one it is. I'm thinking they belong on a 4th step list.
Perhaps it doesn't matter where it goes. It belongs in my inventory. Maybe fear instead.
|02-26-2012, 05:28 AM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The Trenches, Texas
Try applying those questions on page 69 to each one, be honest, and put it on paper, we see things better that way.
I had people show up on mine that I a)was never in a relationship with and b)I never had sex with.
“There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them.”-Anthony de Mello
|02-26-2012, 07:06 AM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2009
Then, when I get there in the Steps, I'm going to consider a better way than letting fear drive me. Faith and reliance on a higher power will lead me, in steps 6-7 to be willing have some of these insecurities and creepiness removed from me. A better way of conduct towards others will open up for me.
|02-26-2012, 12:33 PM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2007
|02-26-2012, 05:32 PM||#6 (permalink)|
12-Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: May 2010
sure........ Just put "guy I hate" or "guy from work" or whatever description you'll remember to associate with him. I've had ethnic groups, "types" of ppl (liberals, hippies, women, blacks, etc) women with hyphenated last names, you name it......all show up on my inventories. I've also written about things that even after trying I just wasn't sure what category they "should" go in so I just started writing about them.
Even though I believe in the 4 columns and there are definite reasons to do an inventory as it's suggested........If something is calling to you and you don't know where to put it.......just make sure you put it somewhere and discuss it when you hit step 5.
Congrats on working on your 4th though. It's a tough step but one of the most self-revealing things you can probably do for yourself. Good job.
"We can't solve our problems using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." - Albert Einstein
/-all BB quotes-1st. Edition-\
|02-26-2012, 07:30 PM||#7 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2003
sex is just what it says-sex
I was told and I did list every sex act I ever took part in that came to my mind after prayer
whether it be:
sex with a man
sex with a woman
sex with a animal
sex with a object
We reviewed our own conduct over the years past.
Where had we been selfish
Whom had we hurt
Did we unjustifiably arouse jealousy
Where were we at fault?
what should we have done instead?(this gave me a new sex ideal)
We got this all down on paper and looked at it.
I had a lot of a harms from this list
(We must be willing to make amends where we have done harm)
in meditation, we ask God what we should do about each specific matter. The right answer will come, if we want it.
if your situation does not fall under this section,it is probably something else and it may become clear to you a little later on.
based on what you first said,if it was me I, would say it is a fear(s)
|The Following User Says Thank You to Tommyh For This Useful Post:|| |
|02-26-2012, 09:42 PM||#8 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Northern Virginia
One of the most revealing inventories I did about actual "sex" involved answering the questions outlined in the 12 and 12. Very profound experience with that.
They're in the 12 x 12, I've tried to transpose them here but might not be a bad idea to get the book and check the chapter out -- if your sponsor agrees.
Certainly revealing, for me anyway. Which I guess is what the 4th Step is supposed to be about.
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