Seven Deadly Sins and the 4th Step

[Mark75]

I am not afraid to do a searching and fearless moral inventory. I just can't get my head around the resentment approach. I have been doing a lot of work on my inventory, just not my resentments... not that I don't have any, but I am stuck.

There is a hard core type AA at my home group. He shoots straight and tells it like it is, he alone has helped many a problem I've had with this early sobriety thing. I was talking about my 4th step problem with him... he has like 23 years of sobriety and he has what I want. He suggested that I look at it more directly... like from the seven deadly sins perspective, rather than the resentment angle.

That I can do... When I go at it like that, things fall into place... I brainstormed with him a while after the last meeting and he was amazingly helpful. He agreed to work with me once I get my inventory together... which I want to do before vacation in a couple of weeks.

What do some of you who have worked the steps think of this approach?

Mark

[Believe808]

Hi Mark, when I was working on my 4th step, I couldn't really think of any resentments. My sponsor told me she would help me and she did. We talked just me telling my story to her and she then had me stop after certain things and pointed out, ah ha does that sound like a resentment to you. Well I ended up having lots. It was so much easier for me to get on with my 4th step after our meeting. I also prayed alot before and while doing it. I can tell you this, it was very freeing after 5th was completed. Good luck.

[keithj]

Mark,

I'm so happy for you, man. I've experienced first hand and seen in others what a transformation can occur by doing this work. I think you'll like the results.

Originally Posted by Cubile75

What do some of you who have worked the steps think of this approach?

If it clicks and it's working and you've got a good sponsor giving direction, go for it and don't look back. That's my opinion, for what it's worth.

It's not the way I did or do it, but that's OK. I don't take everyone through the steps the same way. I follow the book closely, but I think that we need to bring God into the process. It's not just a rote thing on paper. It's inspired and sometimes that plays out differently for different people.

[Rowan]

I've done three 4th Steps the 'traditional' way and once using the 7 Deadly Sins as my guide. All were helpful.

[McGowdog]

I laid out the example of the 4th step I use in this here "Step 4 thread and it's pretty "to the book".

We use the Sacraments of Pennance in the 8th step to get clear on the harm for when we go to make amends.

I write three inventories for the 4th Step; resentments, fear, and sex/harms done. Outside of that, you're being asked to do something besides what's in the Big Book. I suppose this is fine so long as a recovered alcoholic has got you in their care. I can't judge someone for going above and beyond what's in the book because I've done so myself.

Worship God, not the fingers that point to God.

[sugErspun]

I did mine, like many others - straight from the book.

And I got stuck, confused also ~ because I was trying to wrap my head around it all.

The best advice I got was: Get a piece of paper and write down the name of any person, institution or principle that I have ever been angry with. Write a prayer at the top of the page asking that I be shown what I need to be shown....and then start writing out that list.

Part 1 of Step 4 is just a list of names, institutions and principles. When I was able to not be concerned with "why" I was writing this stuff down, and just got into the action of writing ~ a whole bunch came out.

Then I was given instruction for Part 2 ~ the second column.


The 7 deadly sins stuff I have only heard referred to in regards to the 3rd column...it seems that is two columns away right now. Not to mention, it really had nothing to do with the 7 deadly sins at all.

It's important to know that the 4th step is not about therapy, or finding out more about ones self.

The 4th step is about identifying those things which are blocking you from the power you need to recover and letting go of it, getting rid of it.

To face and be rid of....
A fact finding and fact facing process....
An effort to find the truth about the stock in trade...
Disclose damaged or unsaleable goods, to get rid of them promptly and without regret.

The above were taken from a single paragraph in the book that explains why we are taking an inventory....I had to read it again and again to realize how simple this process really is.


All the best..move forward!


(bb references taken from http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_bigbook_chapt5.pdf )

[DaveBB164]

when I first came to AA my local group was a Middle Of The Road group so I was indoctrinated into counterfeit AA, the thing that is rife in that area is doing step 4 as a life story and that is what I did, all I found out was what I already knew ( not much ),

when I came back to AA there was a guy who took me through the steps following the clear cut directions, following the process precisely removed the obstacles that were blocking me from God and I recovered, I am grateful my sponsor loved me enough to tell me the truth and did not tip toe around my poor little feelings, AA did not give me my life back, AA gave me the life I never had.

[Mark75]

Well, this guy is not one to tiptoe around anybody's poor little feelings, which is precisely why I asked him to help. In fact many of the MOTR people avoid talking to him about sensitive issues because he will let them know what they need to know.... When he has helped me, it was always with a stinger attached...

I don't know, I was just interested if people have come at their character defects through the seven deadly sins... Rowan has... McGowdog seemed to think it was above and beyond...

Was just interested if there was experience with this... I know that when I go at it thinking about that way, I'm able to really get at it, and he was helping to extend and develop...

Mark

[Tommyh]

Mark,I have done it that way before,but the simplest for me was the way the book laid it all out.
After all,they was there before the 7 deadly sins,those 7 deadly sins was a manifestion of the resentments,fears,etc.....which come from self
if it helps you to do it that way,go at it,I never got drunk from doing a inventory

good luck

[jimhere]

Mark,

although I prefer the format from the book, I have inventoried using the seven deadlies. It was a good experience. I also have an exercise for Steps 6 & 7 using them.

If you'd like to see this stuff, send me your email address via private message and I'll email it to you.
Jim

[cataluna]

I would like to know if anyone has found a website for the 7 deadly sins and their definitions.

[CarolD]

cataluna .....Welcome back

I've not looked for that info but maybe Google?
A site dedicated to Bible studies?

Sorry...I just

[Astro]

I Googled it.

deadlysins.com seems to be a pretty good resource.

[JeremiahS]

I'm finding the 7 sins from the 12x12 as my wrongs sometime more clearly than the 4 in the Big Book, selfish, self-seeking, dishonest and fearful.

For example, I'm finding tons of points where emotional security was injured, the only word that fits to describe my part that allowed me to get hurt is 'Pride'. Big time, and tons of it. Then hurt pride running the show leads to fear, anger, more wrongs, more hurts, and more resentments.
The shoe fits so I'm wearing it.

[JeremiahS]

Fear, dishonesty and inconsideration are pretty straight forward but selfish and self-seeking seem to muddy the waters like trying to hammer a sqaure into a round hole till I turn to the 7 sins. Only sometimes are selfish and self-seeking straight forward to me.

[Mark75]

Wow, I posted this 10 months ago! Thanx for bumping it Jeremiah.

I ended up, finally, getting into step four by way of the Big Book and the columns. But the seven deadly helped get me back to the columns.

Why?

Kind of like using a preconceived diagnosis to explain a set of symptoms that are misunderstood rather than coming to a more accurate diagnosis by evaluating and better understanding the symptoms first.

A horse and cart thing... rather than chicken and egg

I don't know if that made sense?

Mark

[JeremiahS]

Originally Posted by Mark75

I don't know if that made sense?

Mark

No, but I'll take your word for it, nod and grin.


Another one I ran across is greed. Would fall under 'selfish' I guess but in plain english the best I see it, no other way to put it but plain, old fashioned outright greed driving me to make demands fail to get my way and become resentful leading to more poor behavior.

[Mark75]

OK, well I tried

I went through the seven deadly sins myself and it helped break the ice, then I came back and did it "by the book"...

Pride is often the big one.

[JeremiahS]

Oh, sorry if I mis-stated, am doing it 'by the book', ppl institutions and principles (authority is an example of a principle I am having trouble with), then why, then what part of self was affected, then where I was wrong. Selfish and self-seeking don't always fit as well as say pride or greed even though pride or greed is selfish.

Bill hints at this, pride is listed in one of his examples but then never mentioned in the text until the 12x12.

I'm uncovering patterns that have affected every relationship in my life to some degree or another that's the point of it so im trudging on taking the good perfection is a recipe for failure.

[Brucel]

The seven deadlies were exactly how I went about the fourth step. I didn't have a guage on moral when I first got sober, so the 12x12 helped when it gave me something to compare with. Then I saw my part in what I was doing and that helped me see who and what I was resentful at.

[Mark75]

Well, it's been almost a year since I first started this thread. I'd like to share an important experience I had since then... Progress, not perfection

Working at it from the deadly sins, then backwards didn't ultimately help. It did give me some skills and insight I used later, but that was all... no awakening and little relief, and made for a kind of hollow and ineffectual 5 6 and 7.

I knew I was overly prideful, and suffered envy. Those had been somewhat helpful qualities, in moderation, when I was young and getting trained and starting my career. But now they have been blocking me from the sunlight of the spirit, big time, and thus, how was God to remove them?

It wasn't until I looked at a big, fat juicy and pervasive resentment... so big that it enveloped me, I couldn't see it because I was in it's shadow. I resented the chain of events and powers that be that brought me to recovery in the first place... the monitoring, expense, rehab, paperwork and shame (lot's of that). So this resentment affects my.... what?

My freakin' pride...

It wasn't until I worked as per the instructions in the Big Book that I was able to "see", and more importantly, ask God to remove it. Funny thing, it was almost as if I didn't have to ask, He just did.

My experience has been that working the fourth by way of the seven deadly sins did not bring me the relief I was seeking.

Mark

[DayTrader]

I know what you mean man.

It's taken a bunch of 4th steps for me to fiiiiiiiiinally be able feel like I'm starting to dig into the stuff that was the real problem.... the "exact nature of our defects" stuff.

A lot of the time, I don't feel like doing anymore digging. 1. It's hard. 2. It hurts do dig 3. It hurts to understand or learn the truth in that 5th step. .........and the deeper I dig the harder and more painful it can be... but I'm still digging.

Some of those defects God knows better than to remove - no matter how much I believe to the contrary. Since I'll have to be content to practice patience and self restraint in those areas he doesn't remove (either in my time or maybe at all), it's my job to take responsibility for myself, understand what I'm dealing with in my head, and put into place some actions to keep me from overindulging in my character defects.

It wasn't until I worked as per the instructions in the Big Book that I was able to "see", and more importantly, ask God to remove it. Funny thing, it was almost as if I didn't have to ask, He just did.

God's a cool dude isn't He?

[yeahgr8]

Mark this will make you laugh, more of a daily inventory thing maybe but i caught myself after talking to a girl at work a few days ago and walked off saying to myself what was that all about...holy moly ego, pride the whole lot...not even a resetnment in sight!

On the step 4 note, i was told by a great guy that some people, him included, do a set of steps each year as in the same way as the original formal work we all do not going back before sobriety but since becoming sober...im actually heading back to where i got sober in July which will be the year mark for me, God willing, and i am very much looking forward to doing a real no BS with sponsor look at just how well cliff is doing spiritually hehe

Obviously will report back on the findings...hopefully it will be a pleasant suprise!

[redneck]

Originally Posted by Mark75

Well, it's been almost a year since I first started this thread. I'd like to share an important experience I had since then... Progress, not perfection

Working at it from the deadly sins, then backwards didn't ultimately help. It did give me some skills and insight I used later, but that was all... no awakening and little relief, and made for a kind of hollow and ineffectual 5 6 and 7.

I knew I was overly prideful, and suffered envy. Those had been somewhat helpful qualities, in moderation, when I was young and getting trained and starting my career. But now they have been blocking me from the sunlight of the spirit, big time, and thus, how was God to remove them?

It wasn't until I looked at a big, fat juicy and pervasive resentment... so big that it enveloped me, I couldn't see it because I was in it's shadow. I resented the chain of events and powers that be that brought me to recovery in the first place... the monitoring, expense, rehab, paperwork and shame (lot's of that). So this resentment affects my.... what?

My freakin' pride...

It wasn't until I worked as per the instructions in the Big Book that I was able to "see", and more importantly, ask God to remove it. Funny thing, it was almost as if I didn't have to ask, He just did.

My experience has been that working the fourth by way of the seven deadly sins did not bring me the relief I was seeking.

Mark

7 deadly sins, yeh right.
I went down that false trail also, it leads nowhere .

Sins are symptoms of an underlying problem, looking at symptoms , examining them ad neuseum will never get to the root because it looks outward instead of inwards.

The big book approach is so simple. I couldn't see it because my mind wouldn't let me. I couldn't understand the resentment list or how to break it down because I wouldn't let me. The whole process really brought home how insane my mind was. And when it was done and all there on paper before me I couldn't believe how simple it was.

Those 7 deadly sins came from Fr John C Ford, the Catholic priest who was helping Bill at the time. Ford was a non alcoholic and without a clue as to how to do a 4th step.

I have no use for the 12x12.

[CarolD]

Welcome to SR redneck....

I noticed your shares have been here on our
Step Study Sub Forum and on the 4th step.

Why not begin your own thread and share your
experience with everyone ?

Well done on your recovery years....