every sponsor does things a little differently

[growing-up]

I am Interested in what was the most helpful thing your sponsor did or said when you were working the fourth step. I am a new sponsor and I'm doing what my sponsor did but it felt incompleat then and I would like some input.

Thanks!!

[Rob B]

My Sponsor removed his opinion and experience from the table, he brought me through the work as it is laid out in the big book, I do the same with my guys, opinions in AA can be very dangerous, stick to the Big Book is my advice.

[Pinkcuda]

I couldn't agree more Rob. My Sponsor opened to the book every time. He's point his big dirty finger at a paragraph and say "Read that". When I'd read enough he would explain exactly what it meant.

[growing-up]

We [my sponsor and I] primarily used the 12x12, Which was great. we also followed the BB but I think we spent to much time on resentments and never got to the stuff where i Just plain old blew it. Although the resentments we covered were incredible, I found my part in stuff that I would have sworn on my life I had no part in. Very eye-opening.

I liked

My Sponsor opened to the book every time. He's point his big dirty finger at a paragraph and say "Read that".

I think I'll start doing more of that.

I wouldn't feel right if I didn't say that my sponsor was wonderful and we have since covered the stuff missed, but at the time I was scared, overwhelmed, and didn't really know how to say "wait, I need more work in this area" I'm not even sure I really wanted to.

Thank You for the input!!

[savoy]

The program directions are in the Big Book, what Rob says about opinions are true, the 12x12 is only one mans opinion, its not the program.
I follow the Big Book, its my BS filter.

The first thing I learned was the word LIST means to write vertically, not across the page. So I listed resentments, all I could recall, only then did I move to the next column. I found that very helpfull.
Its not possible to spend too much time on resentments, unless we're talking about procrastination.? I did some of that but once I got on track it went very quickly.

[sugErspun]

I did mine directly out of the program outlined in Alcoholics Anonymous. The first part, we read from the bottom of page 63 "Next we launched out..." to the sentence on the last paragraph of page 64 that end with "We listed people, institutions or principals with whom we were angry." - This is my first column

Once I had a complete first column (what is complete? - when it 'felt' complete in prayer) We read the next sentence "We asked ourselves why we were angry." through the first couple of sentences of the last paragraph on page 65 "We went back through our lives. Nothing counted but thoroughness and honesty." - then I did my second and third columns (What happened, What in me it affected [pride, self-esteem, ambition, personal relations, sex relations, pocketbook, security].

When that was complete (three columns), we read from the bottom of page 65 "When we were finished we considered it carefully." through page 67 ending with "We admitted our wrongs honestly and were willing to set these matters straight." - this was instruction on the fourth column - Where had I been: Selfish, Self-seeking, dishonest and frightened, when referring to what I had already written - and ANYTHING else that came up - write it down.
When the resentment (4 column) inventory was completed. We read the last paragraph on page 67 through the last full paragraph on page 68. I was instructed to list my fears, distill those fears down to their common base (there were many that repeat in different forms)..and write out how these fears are truly based on self - this was a long discussion about fears and what they were. Next was the sex inventory - another list of names, and where I had been selfish in regards to those relations.

I know this is a bit wordy, but it's easy since I have breaks written in my book with the dates that we covered them...

I hope it can be helpful