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|02-26-2011, 03:20 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Om Ketu Namaha
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: United Kingdom
Blog Entries: 130
so im supposed to work hard and trust that god will handle everything else
is that it-step 3
i prayed yesterday and even tonight but i just dont believe god will ALWAYS be there and ALWAYS keep me safe
|02-26-2011, 04:18 PM||#2 (permalink)|
Just livin' the dream
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Somewhere Out There
Instead of trying to believe that God will always keep you safe, why not believe that God will give you the tools to keep yourself safe?
"The difference between a stumbling block and a stepping stone is the character of the person walking the path."
- Travis Alexander
"So oftentimes it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key."
- The Eagles
|03-03-2011, 09:23 AM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Louisville, KY
Blog Entries: 24
Then pray for the willingness to believe.
The archway of step three is an amazing thing. It takes some practice to turn everything over to the care of our God. That archway isn't going to stay the same, it didn't for me anyway.
At first, it was a concept for me- ok turn my life and my will over to the care of God as I understand him. Okay- but what does that MEAN? I just pray every ten minutes? How is that going to help me?
The concept changed into rock-solid truth when I worked the rest of the steps. Steps Four and Five were HUGE in making Step Three less concept and more firm reality. It just IS for me now. I don't have to think about it anymore. That change didn't happen until I leaned on my God and saw him come through for me again and again. As of right now- at Step Three, we're just making a decision to lean- we haven't really started leaning on God yet.
Steps Nine and Ten really bring that point home too. More will be revealed Keep working and that Step Three will shore itself up in no time.
|03-03-2011, 09:31 AM||#4 (permalink)|
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Blog Entries: 1
Step 3: "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him" .
All you gotta do here is make a decision.
Your concerns, having lived a life run on self will, are certainly normal.
Keep working the rest of the steps and your program and GREAT job!
B/c alcohol did for me what I could not do for myself.
|03-03-2011, 10:43 AM||#5 (permalink)|
Join Date: Sep 2009
Blog Entries: 3
As far as keeping safe - is safety god's will or yours? Are you capable of keeping safe always?
Personally, I hate how the 3rd step is worded. It makes us sound like a bunch of religious nut jobs praying about whether to wear red socks or blue. But I have made peace with the 3rd step.
I was frittering my life away trying to run the show. A show that did not need my help to run. There is not very much my will can control. I cannot make anyone else do, say, or think anything. I cannot control nature, fate, time, or random chance. Even within my own mind, I cannot control what I think or feel. My own actions are not completely under my control: When my nose tickles I sneeze, when I need oxygen I breath, when something is funny I laugh, and when a loved one passes I cry. A lot of people here on SR make noise about how they control their decision to drink. The truth for me is that if the desire to escape suffering through alcohol is greater than the desire to stay sober, I'll drink, and I do not believe the strength of those desires is under my control over the long term.
I made the decision to stop trying to control those things I cannot change. The illusion of will stokes my ego to believe many delusions. If I get really honest with myself, I realize my will is only sufficient to set my intention. And the process of setting my intention is not casual in the least. Once set, if my intention is to glorify myself or control something I cannot, I will be an incorrigible mess in very short order.
"My life has been filled with terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened." Mark Twain
|03-03-2011, 11:05 AM||#6 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
There is nothing in the third step that says god will always be there or will always keep you safe. The program of AA is about placing yourself in a position subordinate to the highest power in the universe (even if you don't understand that power), yet taking resposibility for your own actions.
It is easier to practice total abstinence than perfect moderation
Any quotes from the big book of AA are from the first edition, or are otherwise exempt from copyright infringement under the "fair use doctrine".
|03-03-2011, 02:21 PM||#7 (permalink)|
Forward we go...side by side
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Sometimes I think as God as a director and if I take
His directions...the actor me
will be serenely able to deal with lifes inevitable bumps.
Each Day Sober Is A Victory!!
Joy In AA Recovery!
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|03-03-2011, 04:01 PM||#8 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2009
If you read the 3rd step prayer you get a better understanding of what you're turning over to the care of God. Basically, you're taking your will out of the picture and asking for understanding of God's will. You're asking for God's help here. You're asking for God to show you the path, not take the steps.
Will God always be there. Ah, yeah. Where's He gonna go? Run out for a cigarette or something? (Sorry, I just plagiarised Recycle here) Will He always protect you and keep you safe? No, I don't think God works that way. If a tree falls and you happen to be under it, tough luck. The tree wasn't looking for you. A little thing called gravity had a hand in this, too.
But gravity is a law of nature. God doesn't change the laws of nature any more than he changes the nature of man by interfering with his free will. God can guide us, but He doesn't make the decisions for us. That's why we call it free will. To change nature or man would be a contradiction of what God created, and my God doesn't do contradictions.
But will God help me if I ask. Yeah, my God will. He won't do it for me, but He'll help, He'll show me the way. But it's up to me to take the steps along the path, to do the work.
God, Please set aside all I think I know about myself, my disease, the Big Book, the 12 Steps, the Program, the people in the fellowship, spiritual terms, and especially about you God so I may have an open mind and a new experience with these things. Amen
|03-03-2011, 04:22 PM||#9 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
|03-03-2011, 05:05 PM||#10 (permalink)|
Om Ketu Namaha
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: United Kingdom
Blog Entries: 130
Ha Ha Ha food for thought i guess sometimes religious experiences can dent your trust in a hp - i dont want to be more explicit here but maybe someone will catch my drift.
i believe the aa advocate meditation (well i read on here some aa sponsers were atleast) now presently i find it hard to meditate without tunes. also i..oh i dont know. maybe alcohol is the devils poison and whilst in its grip god simply couldnt do much-
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|03-03-2011, 08:04 PM||#11 (permalink)|
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Chicago, IL
The other day I did what I gather is called a shared third step with my sponsor and about 6 other AA members. It was actually nothing like what I had expected. The 6 members went around the circle and told me about their experience with step 3 and what it meant to have it in their lives. I was told that taking step 3 is the start of a great journey and so on. It was really quite powerful and I felt much more emotion than I had expected to feel. As far as the first two steps are concerned I think they involved acceptance. Step three is where some action is involved. I knew I was powerless over alcohol and my life was unmanageable. That was pretty obvious. I just had to look at my life. I knew and accepted that idea. So I went to an AA meeting. I kept going because I saw and heard people in whom I could see that some great change had taken place. Some force was at work here. The people seemed happy, successful, and confident in themselves. Sure they had problems still but I sensed an underlying faith, something keeping them afloat, peaceful despite their problems. They were people that could deal with life. At some point in time, I cannot say what time or what day, I came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity. I saw something greater at work in the lives of the people I saw at the meetings. I didn't know what it was. It didn't matter that I didn't completely understand it. But I did want it. I had fully worked step one in admitting I was powerless. I was thoroughly beaten down. I had had enough. I was WILLING to do whatever I had to do to live. "..If you want what we have and are WILLING to go to any length to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps." I was willing and I was ready. I believed that there was something greater than myself that could restore me to sanity. So this brought me to step 3. I could see that my life, most of my life even, up to the present (and present included really) was completely self absorbed. The book uses the phrase "self-will" run riot. I could see that I was trying to manipulate, control, change people and things and situations to be just the way I wanted them to be. When this didn't work out, as historically it hasn't, I got frustrated. I reacted badly. Behaved like a child. Hurt people. Did bad things. My sponsor told me that the word "WILL" in the 3rd step could be thought of as meaning 'my thoughts and motivations,' and the word "LIFE" as meaning 'my actions.' He said to think of it as saying "Made a decision to turn my thoughts/motivations and my actions over to the care of God as I understand him." It's just that. A decision. To me it means that I'm not always going to have pure motivations. I'm not going to have pure thoughts. My motivations are going to be driven by a myriad of emotions. And I'm not always going to do the right thing. But I can make a choice to let the God of my understanding care for my thoughts, motivations and actions. I can make a choice to let my thoughts and actions be guided by my higher power and pray for the power to act accordingly. I think, and it has been said to me, that in step 3 we make the decision. The rest of the steps are HOW we turn our thoughts, motivations, and actions over to the care of our Higher Power. I think that's why step 3 needs to be followed immediately with more action. That's step four where we start to identify, work on, and clear away the things that are limiting our 'conscious contact' with our higher power and clear away the 'wreckage of the past.' I didn't realize the 3rd step is something I will practice in my life everyday. I think it comes down to another cliche- doing the next right thing. Acting as a agent of my higher power. Acting in a way that is fitting to represent my higher power. I made the decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand Him, now the rest of the steps are how I turn it over and "practice these principles in all of our affairs." I don't think it's something I need to understand 100% right now. I don't know if it's something I can understand 100%. If that were the case I don't think there'd be people still going to AA meetings with 30 years sobriety. It's a work in progress. That's what I like about the AA program. There are expectations of me. Things that should be done in order for other things to work. But there is also the acknowledgment of the human condition. Not just the alcoholic condition. We may not know God's will for us all the time and in every situation and we'll still do the wrong things. But perfect understanding, perfect action, being perfect isn't expected. That's why there are certain things in the steps we need to do everyday. It seems to me step three is the beginning of a completely new way of life. I have no idea if that helps or makes any sense whatsoever, but that's my understanding of it so far.. that's all.
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|03-10-2011, 10:30 PM||#12 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: The Mountains
The hardest part for me with step three is that I don't believe in God. I'm not just an agnostic either. I try to be a "spiritual atheist" and I get up and turn my life over but I am not sure what it is, though I have always had a sense of some superior form of help that comes through energy or other people. But it's hard for me to keep in touch with that a lot due to I am not an easy sell on the higher power concept. But I'm working at my own version of it. It's the best i can do.
|03-12-2011, 12:51 PM||#13 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Salem, OR
CatWings- keep working on allowing yourself to believe in the higher power. Eventually in your journey you will find Him/Her/It if you continue to actively seek Him/Her/It out. (So many pronouns...)
I love the third step. In my years practicing my chosen religion I was always told to ask God to take all our burdens, to ask him to lead you in his path and do his will and I was also told that he would never tempt me beyond what I could handle.
It never happened.
I was constantly cornered into temptation and I was burdened down far beyond my capacity with worldly ****. Going through AA gave me a new outlook on these ideas. I mentioned three things: Give God your burdens, Ask for His will to be done and the promise that He will not allow too much temptation. I just realized that if you all God's Will + Trusting God with your burdens = Life being MUCH easier temptation wise. It's brilliant! I feel empowered and I feel like God is really on my side.
God, I offer myself to Thee-
To build with me
and to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self,
that I may better do Thy will.
Take away my difficulties,
that victory over them may bear witness
to those I would help of Thy Power,
Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.
May I do Thy will always!
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|03-13-2011, 05:16 AM||#14 (permalink)|
12-Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: May 2010
The pre-work to doing step 3 is on p60
"The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success."
.......in other words, do you believe in and have you REALLY taken the first step (the "my life's unmanageable" part)? --and can you swallow the 3 pertinent ideas (the ABC's on p 60)?
IF you can get with that (and many ppl stumble there......on that first step reservation - believing they CAN run control their mind and run their own life), then you move onto the "how and the why" (why we make the decision and how we do it):
"First of all, we had to quit playing God."
"Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children. When we sincerely took such a position (ie, when we quit playing God and then decided He was the Director and Father - DT), all sorts of remarkable things followed. We had a new Employer (and it ISN'T ME any longer - I don't call all my own shots - DT) .........We were reborn."
ONCE you can do that, then you're ready for your 3rd step prayer.
My personal opinion......most ppl balk at the first step and maybe don't even know it. I sure did....... I still catch myself thinking I'm in control - which is a FIRST step reservation not a 3rd step reservation.
As for "not believing God will ALWAYS keep you safe" that's pretty normal. Thankfully the 3rd step (and the 2nd step) don't ask us to have faith.... we "come to" a position of faith......typically by trying God out. For me, my faith has come on the end of some pretty huge failures and scares in sobriety - just life stuff......that blew up because I made bad choices.....that got soooooo painful I fiiiiiinally threw my hands up, surrendered and ask God (because I was out of options) to give it a shot. To my surprise, things worked out pretty well..... so my "faith" grew a bit that day.
Also, the 3rd step is about DECIDING to walk this new/strange spiritual path....but how do you do that? Well, you start by writing your 4th step inventory. Hmmm, sounds odd huh? Why would you do that when you're not sure of what this decision you just "made" was right? Here's the deal, you're not the director anymore.....God is. You don't call the shots anymore, God does. You're a soldier now, God's the General.....so you take orders. Made a "pledge" to be on His spiritual path and want to get to know God???? - Find out what you're dealing with in 4 and 5, clean up the wreckage of your past in 6 - 9, keep your "present" clear too in 10, seek God in 11 and share the gift of how to do it with others in 12.
"We can't solve our problems using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." - Albert Einstein
/-all BB quotes-1st. Edition-\
|03-17-2011, 06:46 PM||#16 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The Sooner State
Blog Entries: 2
I'm on step 3 and loving it! I have screwed up the life HE gave me. Its his to run. I'm letting go of the reigns. He let me run it for awhile and just look what happened!
|04-15-2011, 10:29 AM||#17 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2011
Blog Entries: 1
I am an Agnostic I do not believe in god. See in the third step it only say made a decision to turn our lives and will over to the care of god as be UNDERSTOOD him. God can be a tree or person or a place like the beach the sun or just AA. Think of god as "Group of drunks" Or "Good orderly direction" I understand him as something that is not me and something that will be able to HELP me and give me hope and strength. We will do the footwork! Yes we will! We will get the right attire for the job study the right procedures for the job and we will totally rock the interview. But when it comes to getting the JOB its not up to us. Its up to our higher power. Its in his time!
I hope I helped! =]
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|04-15-2011, 10:37 AM||#18 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
I'm listening to a speaker right now, and he said something that makes total sense to me with respect to step 3.
Step 3 actually has a prerequiste -- you have to be convinced that any life run on self will can hardly be a success. If you are convinced of that, you are ready to make a decision to turn your life and will over to the care of God.
|08-18-2012, 12:15 PM||#19 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Kent UK
I am working Step Three at the moment and I just wanted to thank all the above people for their posts and insights. These words have really helped me and enabled me to clarify my thinking on this step.
Thank you all
I am what I think.
Copyright: Women for Sobriety, Inc
When my dog winks at me, I always wink back in case it's some sort of code
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|08-18-2012, 12:25 PM||#20 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jul 2011
For me, I made a decision to be in the care of a power greater than I to work through steps 4 & 5 specifically, then through to step 7, which is where I felt changed....the next day....
I did not do that, that is when step 3 became real to me. It's an experience that is indescribable.
I wish you well, Hexipuff!
Someday everything will all make sense.
For now, laugh at confusion, smile through tears,
& remind yourself that everything happens for a reason.
All Big Book quotes are from the first edition.
Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
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