Today's Step

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Day 1

Came to believe

"The only thing that changed was my mind." Laurie Nedvin

Some folks have commented that in order to work Step Two, they found it necessary to break down the first three words:
Came....
Came to....
Came to believe.....

Translated, this means that, first, it was necessary to show up for action. Secondly, we needed to be open-minded. And finally, we had to place our trust in a power outside ourselves.

Now, in Step Three, we are asked to turn our will and our lives over to a power we totally fear, or with whom we're totally unfamiliar. A leap into this kind of blind faith can seem as terrifying as being told that someone has booked passage for us on a spaceship to the moon.

Even though we recognize we need all the help we can get, the thought of releasing our self-will, despite every indication that it is partly responsible for our current dilemma, is almost too much to comtemplate.

We want to declare that, armed with this new resolve, we can now pull ourselves together and get on the right track. But because we are fearful and skeptical of letting go---because we have not yet learned to trust---we tend to regret and reject this step, falling into the mode of "contempt prior to investigation."

Today's step: Each day I experience a growing faith in my Higher Power.

Step By Step, meditations for living the twelve steps. By Muriel Zink

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Learning to Listen

"Those who can't forget are worse off than those who can't remember." Anonymous

There is absolutely no hard-and-fast rule about what we choose as our Higher Power. It could be a friend, a sponsor, a counselor, the group, or a deity in which we have a belief. Therefore, whatever our choice, it will work perfectly for us as long as we follow the formula that is outlined in these steps.

When we're told that we must turn our will and lives over to a Higher Power, our first response may be: "That's easy for you to say! But will that power get my bills paid? Will it bring my wife back to me? Will it make my children forgive me? Will it help me face old friends I've hurt or misused? Will it rid me of this guilt and shame--this humiliation that overwhelms me?"

Spiritual experineces may be well and good we tell ourselves. But the practical aspects of life are what we face daily. How in the world is some super power going to take care of them? As one woman put it: "The problem with living is that it is so daily."

We're not suggesting that practicing Step Two will immediately solve everything that's bothering us about the past--or what faces us in our future. But it will help us discover that the important things is to let go of our own agenda, our self-will. It will help us seek guidance, and learn to listen to our inner voice and the counsel of our sponsors and our recovery group.

Today's Step: Setbacks turn into opportunities, when I seek the guidance of a Higher Power.

Step By Step, meditations for living the 12 steps. Muriel Zink.

NOTE: Personally, I do not recommend choosing a single person as a Higher Power simply because as humans we are fallible and make mistakes. Our trust and faith needs to be in something that can not fail us. This is just my personal observation. Judith

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[QUOTE]How do I do that?

"Instinctively, as do the shipwrecked, he will look round for something to which to cling; and that tragic, ruthless glance, absolutely sincere because it is a question of his salvation, will cause him to bring order into the chaos of his life." Soren Kierkegaard

Most of our troubles tend to be of our own making. Despite our best intentions to behave honestly and honorably, we got caught in a riptide of such strength that we were drawn inexorably deeper and deeper into destruction. We couldn't see any solution to our situation---until something within us proved even more powerful and helped us reach out for help.

That something, we are told, is the power greater than ourselves and that the time has come for us to let go and hand over the reins to that unknown something or someone else.
"But how," we ask, "do I do that? Do I just sit down in the middle of the room and say, 'Okay, whomever or whatever you are, take over. I give up?'"

A recovering cocaine addict shared this method with a Twelve Step group: "I put my two hands out in front of me. In the left hand I pretend to put all the dirt and crap my using had created. In the right, I put all the abilities and talents I identify as positive characteristics about myself. Then I put my left hand behind my back and say: 'I won't look at any of this right now. Instead, I'll look at what I've got going for me, and I'll work on strengthening those assets. And when the time comes to bring my left hand into view again, I'll have developed the ability---through the belief that some Greater Power is working through me---to cope with the consequences of that wreckage better than I can do now.

Todays Step: Now that I see where sef-will has led me, it's easier to trust in a Higher Power.Step By Step, meditations for living the 12 steps. Muriel Zink

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Day 4

The group experience

"Happiness is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it." Anonymous

People who have sought treatment for their addictions have uniformly reported that one of their most powerful experiences was group therapy. They found themselves identifying with others in the group and acknowledging fears and failings they had never shared with anyone before. The group became a very valuable tool in the early stages of their recovery.

Most residential treatment programs call for an aftercare plan that includes attendance at self-help groups. The undeniable power of the group experience is demonstrated by the fact that it has proven to be one of the most effective defenses against relapse.

The group dynamic is a powerful influence on our recovery---one that may offer us our first experience of unconditional love. Peer acceptance is such a healing factor in our continuing recovery. When someone tells us---"I know just how you feel; I've done that too, and I could have killed myself for doing it"--it's as if the guilt and shame we've carried for so long had somehow been lessened.

One of the primary healing qualities of groups and fellowships is the loving acceptance that evolves when people begin to trust themselves to be open with others.

Today's Step: My group is the reflection of my Higher Power

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

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Day 5

The miracle of recovery

"The greatest undeveloped territory in the world lies under your hat." Anonymous.

Physicians have often been at a loss to explain how patients unable to benefit from the very best medical treatment sometimes recover completely from seemingly fatal illnesses. They admit that they're baffled about how spontaneous remission from cancer occurs. The best are forthright enough to say that although their treatment proved to be totally ineffectual, something very powerful was able to effect a miraculous recovery.

Christian Science practitioners attribute to God many phenomenal recoveries from all sorts of bodily and menat ills. In tribal cultures, shamans successfully heal patients through a combination of herbs and ritual chants and dances.

In all these cases both healer and patient acknowledge the existence of a power greater than human beings.

These phenomena also occure in recovery from obsessions, compulsions, and addictions. Where professionals have failed to effect recovery through either medicine or psychotherapy, a belief in some power greater than ourselves, as well as adherance to the guidelines and principles developedin these steps, make recovery not only possible but highly probable.

Today we can practice gratitude for all that we are and all that we have. We no longer dwell on the negatives for we are in partnership with a powerful guide.

Today's Step: My daily recovery proves that I am already in the care of a Higher Power.

Step by Step. Muriel ZInk

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Day 6

Playing God doesn't work

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear----not absence of fear." Mark Twain

The Jekyll-Hyde syndrome is both familiar and confusing to most of us who have been victims of addictive/compulsive disorders. By nature we are honorable people who would not intentionally do harm to anyone. Yet, caught up in our compulsions, we have behaved in antisocial and hurtful ways.

Unaided, we seemed incapable of helping ourselves. This is why Step Three is of such importance. We simply must release the reins of self-will. We have to stop playing God. It hasn't worked.

Now, laid out before us are alternatives created and practiced by people who have tried them and found them successful. It has been proven to their satisfaction that some sort of Higher Power does exist. We are certainly in no position to deny their successes. As many of them have told us, "Try it on for size. If you don't think it works, we'll gladly refund your misery."

Today's Step: When I let go of playing God, I begin to experience a Higher Power.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

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Day 7

The Rules of the Game

"The only shame is to have none." Blaise Pascal

We like the motto: "Bloom where you are planted." Obviously we cannot go back over our lives and make it all okay. We have to start where we are---right here, right now. We have to be willing to latch on to the faith that time will sweep away the debris we've accumulated. All we need to do now is clear the decks for our new adventure---a journey into recovery and balance.

Step Three asks us to accept where we are right now, and relinquish control of our lives and our self-will.

There will be setbacks. Most of us still seem to learn best from the mistakes we make rather than realize we've somehow stumbled on the right action. It's similar to learning to play golf. The lucky shot isn't what teaches us right form. Rather, it's when we slice or dig up divots that we become aware that we're holding the club wrong, or swinging incorrectly, or standing off center.

Today we can be thankful for all that we have. We can be amazed at the progress we are making and not dwell on those things we haven't yet accomplished.

Today's Step: In facing where I am today, I gain the strength to turn over control of my life and my will.

Step by Step. Muriel ZInk

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Day 8

Wishful Thinking

"If wishes were horses beggars would ride." Nursery rhyme

Not to decide is one form of decision. The habit of procrastination dies hard with many people. We hesitate, not quite ready to put a toe in the water for fear it will prove to be an uncomfortable experience. We hope that some divine providence or happy twist of fate will intervene so we won't have to take the plunge.

Most of us wish that simply by admitting defeat we could be absolved of all that has gone before. Like Scarlett O'Hara, our repeated reaction to a problem was, "Tomorrow is another day."

This kind of wishful thinking often deters us from following Step Three. We fantasize that if we win the lottery, or perform an act of heroism or are diagnosed with some rare-disease that was responsible for our irrational behavior, then all will be forgiven and we can start anew. Would that it were so!

Today we will keep centering ourselves in the moment, not projecting into the future nor dwelling in the past. We can live this day to its fullest, savoring all the gifts it has in store.

Today's Step: The future, like the present, lies in the hands of my Higher Power.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

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Day 9

Forces Beyond Our Comprehension

"Let us weigh the gain and the loss, in wagering that God is. Consider these alternatives: If you win, you win all, if you lose, you lose nothing. Do not hesitate, then, to wager that He is.

The phrase "There are no atheists in foxholes" holds true when we experience sudden and unexpected crises. If someone we love is injured or seriously ill, we automatically pray that they will be spared. Likewise we send up little prayers for a wanted job, for the home team to win, or for relief from a time of trouble. Yet we persist in denying the existence of a power greater than ourselves.

In our daily lives we still observe many superstitions. We won't walk under a ladder. We toss spilled salt over our left shoulder. We go out of our way to avoid having a black cat cross our path. And we're afraid that breaking a mirror will bring us seven years' bad luck.

These are all forms of belief in some power outside of ourselves. And although most of us deny that we really "believe in this stuff," we have an almost automatic gut reaction when such things occur.

So it would appear that, in our deepest recesses of memory and instincts, we do accept the existence of forces beyond our comprehension that influence our attitudes and our behavior. Perhaps we may well be able to find relief when we decide to abandon self-will----if only temporarily---and allow another power to relieve us of carrying the world on our shoulders.

Today's Step: Faith in a Higher Power emerges from the depths of my being.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

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Day 10

Loving What is Good

"Men always love what is good or what they find good; it is in judging what is good that they go wrong." Jean-Jaques Rousseau

When we first practiced the behavior that was to become our master, we recieved a positve reward. It may have been our first drink, our first pleasurable sexual experience, our first joint, our first snort, our first big win at the gambling tables, our first appreciable weight loss, our sense of power in obtaining our own credit card. Each of us can fill in the category which best describes our situation.

But, in time, our desire to feel good began to rule us. We could no longer control it. Despite this, the euphoric memory of how it was at the beginning refused to dispel no matter how negatively we were affected. We were terribly confused when we saw others behaving the same way and not suffering any adverse effects. We had no way of knowing that there was something in our makeup that would hook us into addictive behavior. Then, finally, we admitted we were powerless and recognized we had to latch on to some force that could move us out of this chaos.

When we find ourselves powerless----awash in a sea of confusion and fear, we can tune into that power within ourselves that will bring us clarity and serentity. We can put ourselves under the care of that power we are coming to know.

Today's Step: I trust my Higher Power to care for me.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink