| Dextox and The Walk. Detox Ended
Let me tell you all a story of my adventure in Detox. Remember on Sunday night I said that I was going to Detox? Well I did. My sponsor came to get me at 9:30am and drove me there. We had a chat and luckily he wasn't angry and saying he'd not be my sponsor anymore. Well I get there and he leaves through the door and there I am waiting to be admitted. At first I wasn't even scared or nervous. I felt it was right to be there and so I was guided to my room and all the features I remembered from previously were still there. She showed me a room in which for the 1st time I was actually sharing a room with another man. Then.... I got scared. The 1st time I was there they put me in a single bed room in the medical ward section because it being my 1st time and being a diabetic they needed to keep a close eye on me, this time around they took me to the male residence area and checked me once in awhile. There sat an older man sleeping and I was uncomfortable but what can you do right? It's not a vacation hotel. So the nurse left me and I fell onto the bed slowly because I was so dizzy and tired but I managed to read the big book for an hour then passed out. They tried to wake me for lunch at 12pm but I fell back to sleep because I was so use to the night shift (Still doing it too lol) that I ended up waking up at 5pm for dinner... couldn't afford to miss dinner with diabetes. I Spent about 2 days just purely sleeping. I didn't care whether I was asleep all day and all night. I was a wreck. Wednesday I made an effort to stay awake and watch tv with the other men. They ended up being nice people and I had to remember that we're all the same and that no one is different. I watched Deadliest Warrior from 7pm till 9pm with two other guys and we're having a ball watching the dead pigs get wrecked by weapons. We're laughing and it made me feel good. But still reminded myself that i wasn't there for fun. They had an AA meeting that night that I of course went to and it felt good to be there.
This morning I had packed and left the detox at 11am and it felt good because I wanted to get back home to my room mates house and sleep in my own bed. I was crying myself to sleep every night at bedtime though. I had images float around and showed me the good times without booze. Saw my smiling parents treating me to dinner and a movie and right now we're not talking. SAw my brother doing so well with his life, he never drank at all and when he did it was 1 and I've seen this. Anyways. I had no one come to pick me up soI had to go all out and walk back home. To get halfway home took me 2 hours by foot and it was scorching hot. It was 36 degrees out today a record as news reported. Luckily I made a wise decision to buy a bottle of water. As I walked I was thinking through my drinking problem. Deciding that this one walk would help me think some more of my issue. I looked up at the sky and whispered so no one would think I was some nut talking to himself "God. I have a drinking problem. I am an alcholic today and will always be an alcoholic. No more. I don't want to do this anymore. It's caused nothing but problems with myself and I know as a fact I could have avoided this. If you can lsiten me out this time because I know I've turned my back on you and this program then keep me safe as I walk back home on this long path." Then out of no where this cool breeze hit me on the front and I felt relieved. As I continued strong I thought that this walk I'm taking. Is for the better good of myself. As I walk I know that I can stay sober. and this city I was walking in had plenty of pubs and bars and I didn't pay no mind to them. I alughed because I knew that wasn't my destiny to walk in them. My mission was to get home and I did. And just by chance my drinking friend Don was at my door, I failed to mention I was going to detox and my room mates went looking for me. Don was worried, but he's here and we're hanging out speaking about staying sober together and having a good time tonight with no drinking. Where I can be myself and not some drunken party animal who doesn't care what time it is in the morning and wants to keep drinking. Thanks for reading and god bless all
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07-21-2011, 10:58 AM
