Today's step

[nandm]

Day 1

Keeping an open mind.

"Nothing is troublesome that we do williingly." Thomas Jefferson

This Step, tends to produce instant denial in most of us. "Restore us to sanity?" we cry. "Are you insinuating that we're crazy?"

Not crazy, perhaps, in the sense that we're certifiable. But we're certainly being asked to look at our behavior, and to see that it has been neither rational nor healthy, and that our own best efforts seem to have failed miserably.

The phrase, "a Power greater than ourselves" may also cause our hackles to rise. Many of us suspect that we're about to be tossed into an "ism" that smacks of religious doctrine. Religion, per se, is not a component of the Twelve Steps, although the process may actually strengthen the belief systems of many of us who do follow a formal religious path.

The founders of A.A. developed the steps on which this program is based. Their book, Alcoholics Anonymous. which everyone siimply calls the Big Book, clearly emphasizes that although their methods have proven successful for hundreds (now millions) of people, the steps the propose are only meant to be helpful suggestions. All they truely hope to do is to show others precisely how they can recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body.

When we look at all the missteps we've taken in the past, it's a blessed relief to know that it is possible for us to change our entrie direction today.

Today's step: I suspend my old beliefs in order to be open to new ones.

Step By Step, daily meditations for living the Twelve Steps. By Muriel Zink

[savoy]

Its a mistake to confuse the suggested spiritual program of recovery (which it is)

with a program of suggestions.

A suggested program means it is to be taken as a program, the word program implies "complete". Which it is.

[nandm]

Big Book Page 59, line 7.

Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a Program of Recovery

Big Book, page 86, line 3

Yet, we believe we can make some definate and valuable suggestions.

Big Book, page 92, line 4

We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism

Big Book, page 94, line 13

He will be more likely to follow your suggestions.

Big Book, page 19, line 13

This should suggest a useful program for anyone concerned with a drinking problem.

One can mince words or one can just take what is written and utilize it as a recovery program.

[nandm]

Power Greater Than Ourselves

"One's religion is whatever we are most interested in." J.M. Barrie

More than the other steps, Step Two requires a leap into faith. Any negative responses that may arise are often due to our personal exxperiences with religion and/or therapy.

This step is not a religious exercise. In the program we're not focused on any particular diety, but we're not afraid of the words "God" or "Budda" or "Mohammed" or "Allah" or any of the other deities to which human beings ascribe powers greater than themselves. We don't feel that any belief conflicts with the meaning of this step.

However, we also realize that athiests and agnostics may at first view Step Two as an impossible hurdle.

What it all comes down to is a power, a force larger than ourselves. We all recognize the power of electricity and use it routinely on a daily basis. We're all aware of the power inherent in subatomic particles to create or destroy matter. And we readily acknowledge the power of social movements where numbers of individuals come together to effect change on a scale that one person acting alone might not be able to do. Therefore, it stands to reason that a group of recovering persons who have successfully completed this step might have a powerful effect on our lives because they have succeeded in doing what has not yet been possible for us to do by ourselves alone.

Today's Step: Even if I don't know what it is, I accept that there is a power greater than myself.

Step By Step, meditations for living the 12 steps. Muriel Zink

[nandm]

[QUOTE]Taking it on Faith

"Faith is to believe what you do not see. The reward for this faith is to see what you believe." St. Augustine

We may not be completely filled with enthusiasm when we discover that we're expected to embrace a doctrine formulated by a group of people--none of them professionals---who don't offer us what we consider to be sufficient statistical research to justify their theories.

On the other hand, most of us do subscribe to the operating theory: "If something works, don't fix it."

A.A., the grandaddy of all these self-help groups, has proven without the shadow of a doubt that "it works." And, in fact, when their Big Book was written, there were a number of nonalcoholic professionals who acted as coauthors and consultants, and who affirmed that when all their combined efforts and expertise had failed, this self-help group--founded by a stockbroker and a medical doctor---suceeded.

The story is told of an athiest explaining to his listeners why he didn't believe in God. "I was up in Alaska, flying my plane. Suddenly, the motor failed, and I was forced to land on a desolate expanse of snow. I got down on my knees and asked God for help. Do you think He did anything to help me? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
"Then how come," one of his listeners asked, "you'er here today?"
"Oh," said the man, "a couple of hours later and Eskimo came along on a dogsled and brought me out!"

Todays Step: I'm beginning to believe that the power of the program really does work.Step By Step, meditations for living the 12 steps. Muriel Zink

[nandm]

Day 4

Acting "As if"

"How much shall I be changed, before I am changed!" John Donnell

To begin this step, all you need is simply to act as if you do believe the message of the step, whether or not you're convinced of its workability.

Think of it in terms of building a house. You know that before the foundation can be laid, excavations must be dug. Yet, when you look at the excavation, you see nothing but an empty hole. It's very difficult to convince yourself that the completed structure will look like the architectural rendering you selected for your dream house. All you can do is trust that the architect has drawn plans that the builder can translate into a well-built, attractive home.

In the early stages of recovery, there will be unseen evidence that the process is working for you depsite all your doubts and confusion. The plans have already been drawn and are based on a design that has proven to be workable. And there are people ready to reassure you that this program has demonstrated its effectiveness to them despite their skepticism.

Today's Step: In the earliest steps toward sanity, I am willing to trust my process and act "as if".

Step By Step. Muriel Zink

[nandm]

Day 5

Humor as a tool

"Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him." Roman Gary

Of the many jokes concerning the plethora of anonymous groups, one is about an imaginary fellowship called Bachelors Anonymous. When a member finds himiself leaning toward matrimony, he calls his sponsor who brings over a woman who has her hair in curlers and is wearing a dirty bathrobe, no makeup, and beat-up bunny slippers. This immediately cures the bachelor's desire to get married.

Sponsorship evolved to offer new members of self-help groups the support of a friend who's been there before, someone who has a successful track record for maintaining an addiction-free lifestyle. The majority of the groups we discussed in our preface follow this same practice, simply because it has proven to be of such value.

The more we uncover our past addictions, the more we discover the absurdity of our present attitudes. As we make these discoveries, humor becomes a valuable tool in allowing us to temper self-judgement. IF we assume that being clean and sober means living our lives somberly, foregoing all frivolous, enjoyable and spontaneous behavior, the price is simply not worth the effort. Although our undertaking is a serious one, it's not necessary that we approach it in a manner of "gloom and doom."

Today's Step: I get glimpses of sanity when I can laugh at myself.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

[nandm]

Day 6

Growing into ourselves.

"We need to see ourselves as basic miracles and worthy of love." Virginia Satir

Growth in recovery depends largely upon our willingness to replace many of our previous opinions and attitudes with a new set of ideas. We need new goals---ones that offer healthy ways of living, reacting and behaving; goals that enable us to interact more effectively with the significant others in our lives. We want to learn how to live our lives in ways that make a difference----not only to ourselves but also to the many others with whom we come in contact.

As little children we found it was not possible to shape our lives against the dictates of grown-ups. Very early we developed a feeling that haunted our formative years and followed us into adulthood. This feeling was one of personal powerlessness.

However, once we understand that this root feeling is an old tape we play over and over to our innermost selves, we can begin to open up to a power above and beyond us that has the potential to help us reshape our lives.

Today we see ourselves as mature human beings, capable of making decisions and changes in our lives that are based on faith and trust in a benign entity. Whether we call it cosmic consciousness, the law of cause and effect, Higher Power, karma, or whatever, this energy larger than ourselves contains the seeds of our growth.

Today's Step: I am open to the energy of my Higher Power.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

[nandm]

Day 7

Logging on

"The coming to consciousness is not a discovery of some new thing; it is a long and painful return to that which has always been. It is when we admit our powerlessness that the guide appears." Helen M. Luke.

An article in a national magazine told of a young woman who had abstained from drinking for a number of months, but who was fearful that an active socila life might bring her full circle back to her old drinking patterns. Consequently, she holed up in her apartment, refusing to go to A.A. meetings because she had an aversion to joining a "cult".

She spent her evenings at her home computer, logging on to various electronic bulletin boards late at night. Through a modem---a phone hookup---she began accessing the electronic meeting places where hackers all over the country share tips and small talk. One night she discovered a bulletin board titled, "Alcoholics Anonymouse." Night after night she logged on to the A.A. menu and read the messages from other recovering alcoholics, without typing in any personal input. Finally, she entered some of her own concerns, fears, and problems. After six weeks, she gave in to the invitation of one of her fellow users whose message read: "Sobriety doesn't have to be white-knuckled. Why not let me take you to a meeting?"

She went with him and found herself in an atmosphere of love and support. "If I hadn't logged on," she said, "I'm sure I never would have gotten to a meeting."

Today's Step: My Higher Power finds me, wherever I am.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

[savoy]

"Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a Program of Recovery "

They used the word "PROGRAM" for a reason.
It means something taken as a whole. Complete.

Within that program there are MUSTS.
They used the word "must" for a reason, if I accept to work the PROGRAM then I MUST cross the T's and fullfill the requirements to get the desired and promised results. I think theres 42 musts, some more strident than others, but some say I must or I will die.

Bill was clever when he wrote, 'this brings us to the next suggestion.'
Then the rest of the chapter is musts.

Some call it semantics but the Big Book is precisely written, a bit of a tongue twister to read because it has to be that way to prevent its meaning from being twisted.

I know a lot of people say there are no musts , they are refering to the fellowship, not the program.

[nandm]

Day 8

Pointing the Finger

"We cannot blame or change others. We can only change ourselves." anonymous

Perhaps one of the biggest stumbling blocks we see in recovery is the human tendency toward "elitism." The person with an eating disorder looks with revulsion upon the alcoholic. The alcoholic sees the drug-dependent person as a lawbreaker, rationalizing that at least booze is legal. The drug-addicted person labels the sexual addict as immoral. The sexual addict brands the compulsive gambler as irresponsible for his or anyone else's welfare. And the compulsive gambler is contemptuous of the disgusting lack of control in bulimics, anorexics or compulsive overeaters.

The irony of such criticism is that each of us is really identifying one of our own problems. For example, people with eating disorders are revolted by their own behavior. Alcoholics who drive under the influence, know full well that they are breaking the law. People with drug dependencies defend their addiction because it's been prescribed by doctors. Addicts on the street justify their compulsion by stating that at least they're not perverts. At a deeper level, however, they are aware of their lack of morality. Sexual addicts can't avoid the evidence that their addiction does affect others. And compulsive gamblers are powerlesss to control the obsession that leads them---and often their loved ones----in financial disaster.

The persistence of this self-deception and the elaborate denial system with which each person defends his own behavior is one of the most difficult to break down.

Today's Step: When I focus on my own recovery, I can take my eyes off of others who are working on theirs.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

[nandm]

Day 9

A Higher Power in the USSR

"We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality." Albert Einstein.

When people balk at what they consider the religious orthodoxy of terms like a "Power greater than themselves," or "God," or "God as you understand him," or "Higher Power," we are reminded of what happened when a group of recovering alcoholics went to the Soviet Union in 1986 to introduce A.A. into this supposedly atheistic country.

They had no difficulty in gaining an audience with the Soviet Ministry of Health to whom they had already sent a copy of the Big Book. They were greeted warmly and told that in the Soviet Union the problem of alcoholism was very serious. Anything that could help alleviate the scourge of what Mr. Gorbachev had called the "green snake" would be welcome. Further, the A.A. group was assured the Soviets would have not problem with the term "Higher Power," as they felt that individuals could interpret the term any way they saw fit. In fact, although the society is officially atheistic, many Soviet citizens are devoutly spiritual, and many more are confirmed believers.

A.A. is now active in Moscow, Leningrad, Kiev, and numerous other Soviet cities. Some groups choose to consider the group itself their Higher Power. Others admit they do need help from some higher consciousness in order to recover. Still others believe in a Judeo-Christian God who acts in human affairs.

Today I remind myself that the language of the heart is universal, and that when I reach out my hand in friendship there are many who are eager to take it.

Today's Step: My Higher Power is not limited by religious beliefs.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

[nandm]

Day 10

A Touch of Madness

"Sanity is very rare: every man almost, and every woman, has a touch of madness." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Let's look again at sanity versus insanity. We hate to admit that acting irrationally is one of our characteristics. We contend that we couldn't have gotten this far without having made some decent decisions, and without managing to cope with our lives, although with increasing difficulty. True.

Nonetheless, if we were continuing to make wise decisions and performing in a healthy way, we wouldn't be in the fix we find ourselves in today.

Value judgements are of no help at this stage of our recovery. "Right and wrong," "good and bad," "should and shouldn't" are worthless and prejudicial judgements. As we progress, we'll come to see that we've done many of the right things for the wrong reasons, and conversly, many of the wrong things for the right reasons.

Today's Step: I accept that even though I have made insane decisions, I have made some sane decisions as well.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink