Step 12: Try reading Ch 7 Working with others

[McGowdog]

Those rascals who wrote the big book hid a bunch of wonderful directions on how to work with others in the Big Book! Pages 89 to 103! Aren't I a smart-@$$? Beats being a dumb @$$ I guess.

But seriously. There are clear cut directions in there and they rarely get talked about in meetings. I think back in the good old days, the new comer was taken and properly 12 stepped, did steps and then they got to attend the meetings. Sounds pretty hard core. But then I wonder what the content of their meetings were? Actual factual experience? Wow! No wonder they had the high recovery rate.

I am an analytical guy and I like to take things apart and find out what makes them tick. This is why I have a hard time with God. But I've asked many in AA about this and I believe there are two distinct things we are looking at here;

• Pitching new comers or meeting with people who think they might have a drinking problem and if so, help them get to meetings

• Once a person is in, regardless of how long they've been sober, showing them how to do steps or how you did steps or doing the steps together

So, I've noticed some are really good at doing both and either or. Some work really well with newcomers and some work really well with long-term sobriety.

Have you ever seen someone who's got a long time sober, but not a clue how to work steps? It's hard because they think they know something and are entitled to something. They won't move and you can't teach them nothing. Unfortunately, some of them drink. We had one that did, after 20 years, he came back in teachable, and has been sober and on fire ever since.

Is this crazy or what?

Some people do a lot of service work. Some are big on the 3 legacies of AA and some just love working with new people. We used to clean ashtrays, but ... that's in the past! Coffee. My favorite person! The coffee maker. It's a great job. GSR, PI, CPC, Grapevine, archieves... it's all about carrying the message to the alcoholic. [We used to say, come see the 5% do the 98% of the work!]And the BB isn't shy to suggest that it takes a little insurance out on ourselves and separates us from that next drink just a little bit. Oh, and support your group! Go to the Group Consciences/Business Meetings! Is your group and/or meeting the best in town? If not, make it that way! Don't just sit back and 8!$ch.

Door greeter! We have a person now who's a door greeter at a Thursday Night meeting I go to. It's cool. Little stuff like this goes a long way.

In my group, we're not big on sponsorship. Unless you're new and haven't been through a set of steps. Then ask. Work with somebody. But I don't have a "sponsor". I've done 6 sets of steps in the last 5 years. I'll sponsor you if you'd like. But sponsor? Why do I need a sponsor? The group is my sponsor. In any case, I'm responsible for my own sobriety and I must do steps and eat my own spiritual food. The group will know if I'm messed up or not. They'll yank my covers, and they do!

We go to lunch on Friday. We go somewhere that the food and service is good and we have lunch together. It's sort of and excercise in "Practice these principles in all our affairs." We learn to commit, to socialize, to break bread together and be grateful.

It's better to give than to receive. I believe this crazy paradox. Here's your chance.

[Juneblues]

Hi Im a recovering alcoholic of 11 years...I dont know how it works on here...but really glad I found you's...

[CarolD]

Juneblues......Welcome to SR!

[sailorjohn]

Originally Posted by Juneblues

Hi Im a recovering alcoholic of 11 years...I dont know how it works on here...but really glad I found you's...

welcome!!!

Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here.

[bballdad]

hi juneblues,glad to have you,keep coming back........

[McGowdog]

"When you discover a prospect for Alcoholics Anonymous, find out all you can about him. If he does not want to stop drinking, don't waste time trying to persuade him."

BB page 90.

[jimhere]

"Have you ever seen someone who's got a long time sober, but not a clue how to work steps? It's hard because they think they know something and are entitled to something. They won't move and you can't teach them nothing. Unfortunately, some of them drink. We had one that did, after 20 years, he came back in teachable, and has been sober and on fire ever since."

What baffles me sometimes is when I hear someone with time away from a drink say "I know it works, but I don't know how it works." I don't know if it comes from a place of false modesty, but there is a whole chapter called "How It works," which lays out the mechanics and the concept of how it works. "This is the how and why of it. First of all we had to quit playing God. It doesn't work." How: "Hereafter in this drama of life, God is going to be the director. He is the principal and we are the agents. He is The Father and we are His Children." Sometimes in meetings they read the first portion of Chapter Five, "How It Works." And then someone will read the short form of the traditions and begin with "This is why it works." No, the why of it is that playing God doesn't work.

It is my responsibility to know how it works. In fact, I'm rather useless in Alcoholics Anonymous if I don't know how it works.
Jim

[McGowdog]

"Sometimes it is wise to wait till he goes on a binge...Then let his family or a friend ask him if he wants to quit for good and if he wants to go to any extreme to do so... If he says yes, then his attention should be drawn to you as a person who has recovered."

I hear you Jim. In our meeting we do all the steps and we do them yearly. About everytime we agree to do the work again, there's always a few people who are eager to get started again and some that fight it. Some get their 4th steps done early and it really encourages me to get going because these people need someone to 5th step with and that might be me. I don't like being pushed to finish a step, but I get envious and just somehow inspired to do something when I see others doing it and getting it done. Not only that, but we have something in common to share about; a recent experience. When we have people new to our group come in to check out our meetings, they love to share on whatever step we're on as they have no problem reciting a one-time experience from the past. But when they see that week in and week out, we share on all 12 steps thoughout the year and not just steps 1, 2, and 3, they don't seem to want to be on board. It's a challenging format, no doubt. I really think we all benefit from hearing other people share their successes and failures in life through these steps.

We read How It Works at every meeting, but I've been to meetings where they read out of "More about Alcoholism" and that's very powerful.

[navysteve]

The sad truth is that if you want to hide something from a member of AA just put it in the Big Book, many will never find the answer.

It works-it really does.

[noad]

Carry the message not the drunk.......Actions speak louder than words....
some drunks just want someone there and others are sincere doing things with Love is a way that most things work out not my choice but my actions speak out.......

[McGowdog]

Welcome to SR!