Today's Step

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I vs. We

"Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing. Albert Schwetzer

Step Ten taught us to continue to take our personal inventory. By practicing this step, we were able to recognize when we started moving away from dependence on a Higher Power and began to take back our own self-will.

It is essential for us to understand the message of Steps Ten and Eleven fully. They not only emphasize the need to follow their guidelines for our personal recovery, they also reflect the universality of their principles as they apply to others.

The Steps say: "Continued to take personal inventory, and when we (not "I") were wrong promptly admitted it." And, "Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our (not "my") conscious contact with God as we (not "I") understood him." We are in no way attempting to diminish the impact of our own personal use of the steps. But we need to keep in mind that the Twelve Step process has been around for some time. It has been tested over and over. And when it is followed with care, it seems to be almost infallible.

A message to remember is: "We can do what I can't do." It is precisely because these steps have worked for so many thousands before us that we can be assured of their effectiveness. It is by listening to our predecessors and following their path that we can walk in dignity once more.

Today's Step: The thousands who go with me and before me on this path make it easier to follow.

Step By Step, meditations for living the 12 Steps. Muriel Zink

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Day 2

Talking with God

"No one who has had a unique experience with prayer has a right to withhold it from others. Soong Mel-Ling

Step Three had us making a decision to turn our lives and will over to the care of God as we understood Him. At this stage of recovery, Step Eleven has us actively engaged in dialogue with the God-concept we have adopted for ourselves---whatever that may be. In any case, most of us would be hard-pressed to give an adequate description of the form that entity takes on for us. Our belief may well be a highly personal and private one that we are reluctant to define.

Some of us have had no difficulty in integrating our religious beliefs into this spiritual program. We're quite comfortable with the God of our childhood. Still others have borrowed another phrase from the Twelve Traditions of AA, and think of their Higher Power as "a loving God as he may express Himself in our group conscience."

Whatever choice we have made, Step Eleven offers us the opportunity to practice talking to that power, whether by inner dialogue or by getting down on our knees to pray. Many of the agnostics on this path have admitted that although they have no real belief in God, they follow the ritual of praying because they've heard so many successful stories from others who have done so with remarkable results.

Today's Step: I engage in daily dialogue with God as I understand Him.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

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Day 3

Universal Truths

"Faith is believing what you know ain't so." Mark Twain

The childhood prayer most familiar to many of us is:
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray thee, Lord, my soul to keep
If I should die before I wake
I pray thee, Lord, my soul to take

This prayer struck fear into the heart of many a child because of what that last line implied.

To "die before I wake" might well have been the reason many of us developed erratic sleep patterns. When we were children, grown-ups frequently told us that if we weren't good, God would be peeved with us, and we'd never get to heaven. We certainly didn't want to be taken before we had a chance to clean up whatever God was angry about.

One friend reported that when she had her own children, she changed that last line to: "and may God watch me through the night, until the morning's early light." Strangely enough, although she professed no real belief in God, she discovered that she was saying that same prayer to herself each night before she fell asleep.

When it was pointed out that she had made it through all the nights in her life to date, she admitted that there may indeed have been something helping her through her desperate times. She preferred, however, to continue equating her Higher Power with what she termed "Universal Truths."

Today's Step: I can find comfort and help in old, familiar prayers.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

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Day 4

Prayer of St. Francis

"Destiny is not a matter of choice. It is not something to be waited for; but, rather something to be achieved." William Jennings Bryant

Perhaps one of the best-known prayers in the world is that of St. Francis of Assisi. It is almost universal in its usage, for despite our own individual beliefs, few of us take issue with its message:

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace,
that where there is hatred, let me sow love,
that where there is injury, I may bring pardon,
that where there is despair, I may bring hope,
that where there is error, I may bring truth,
that where there is doubt, I may bring faith,
that where there is sadness, I may bring joy,
Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort
than to be comforted,
to understand, than to be understood,
to love, than to be loved.
For it is by giving that we recieve.
It is by forgiving that we are forgiven.
It is by dying that we awaken to eternal life.

Everything we have been striving to accomplish thus far in our program is epitomized in the prayer of St. Francis. Over the next few days, we will examine portions of this prayer to determine how it both reminds us of the steps we have already taken and furthers our recovery.

Today's Step: I pray earnestly to be an instrument of God's will.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

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Day 5

Peace and serenity

"Behind peaceful tranquility lies conquered challenges.

Steps One, Two, and Three open us up to an awareness that we have lost the power to manage and control our lives, that we have been caught in a downward spiral that will destroy us unless some power or force intercedes on our behalf.

In Step One, we admitted the unmanageability of our lives. We realized we could no longer keep up the pretense that somehow we were capable of setting things right. That admission created a small opening in our wall of resistance.

In Step Two, we conceded that our behavior, attitudes, and reactions were certainly not very sane; that many of the things we had said and done wer not those of a rational human being. This is when we admitted the irractionality of our behavior, and began to concede that a power greater than ourselves just might be able to help us recover. The opening widened to a narrow channel.

Then, in Step Three, we decided---not without skepticism---that in order to find peace and to share it with others, it was necessary to risk that gigantic leap into faith And we placed our will and our lives in the hands of whoever or whatever that power was.

The channel became wider and wider as our resistance lessened. At last we were able to see that peace and serenity might be possible for us to achieve.

Step Eleven now reinforces all that our first three steps taught us. We are truly convinced that life is worth living on the right track.

Today's Step: I recognize my Higher Power as the source of peace and serentity.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

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Day 6

Pardon

"Life is an adventure in forgivenss." Normal Cousins

In Step Four we did our inventory. And in Step Five, we shared the exacct nature of our wrongs with God, ourselves and another human being.

Having identified our defects and shortcomings in those two steps, we were then ready to take Steps Six and Seven--to be ready and willing to have our Higher Power help us to remove as many of them as possible. Although we were well aware that this process would be a lengthy one, we did our best to eliminate as many as we were capable of doing at the time.

In Steps Eight and Nine we identified the people to whom we owed amends and set about doing what we could to make reparations. We forgave them for any hurt they might have inflicted on us and hoped we would be forgiven for our actions toward them. We tried, to the best of our ability, to clear up financial obligations and to repair what business or personal havoc we had created. Where we were not able to reach each of them in person, we wrote or telephoned, whenever doing so would not bring them further harm.

Of equal importance was the necessity to forgive ourselves. Until we were free from self-recrimination and self-pity, our chance for continuing progress was greatly diminished.

We realize now that had it not been for the work we did in Steps Eight and Nine, we woudl not have been ready to embrace the challenge and opportunity that Step Eleven present to us.

Today's Step: With my Higher Power's help, I pray to forgive and be forgiven.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

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Day 7

Prayers

"No one is as capable of gratitude as one who has emerged from the kingdom of the night." St Francis of Assisi

In Step Eleven it is helpful to review a portion of the prayer of St. Francis, and understand how aptly it reflects what we learned in the preceding steps:

"Where There is Error, I May Bring Truth"

Step Nine taught us that the very act of making amends to others involved an honest admission of our evasions and untruths. Now in working Step Eleven we ask for the power to carry out those principles which are more in keeping with God's will for us.

"Where There is Doubt, I May Bring Faith"

Step Three was the crucial turning point for us to release self-will and trust that there was a power greater than ourselves. Step Eleven reinforces this trust as we willingly let that Higher Power guide us through the maze of recovery.

"Where There is Despair, I May Bring Hope."

Each of the steps we have taken has reduced our feelings of unworthiness and shame. We had despaired of ever being right with our world again. But we found that as we admitted and accepted our problem; released self-will; trusted our Higher Power; made reparation for misdeeds; continued to monitor our progress and sincerely adopted the practice of prayer and meditation, we had entered into the very essence of Step Eleven.

Today's Step: My prayers act as guidelines that allow me to be of help to others.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

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Day 8

"Just For Today"

"Do the truth you know, and you shall learn the truth you need to know." anonymous

Another helpful prayer is one which has appeared many times in a "Dear Abby" column and which, for all its simplicity, is not as easy to do as one would think. Excerpts from it have proven useful to many of us.

Just for today, I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt I had to keep it up for a life time. Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."

Just for today, I will adjust myself to what is and not try to adjust everyting to my own desires. I will take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself to it.

Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways. I will do somebody a good turn, and not get foudn out; if anybody know of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don't want to do---just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.

It's amazing to learn that our need for approval is so great that when we try anonmymously to do someone a good turn, we're hard-pressed not to tell anyone else of our achievement. Try it!

Today's Step: My prayers help me to live in the now.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

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Day 9

Right where we should be

"The value of consisten prayer is not that He will hear us, but that we will hear Him." William McGill

Recovery is not an instantaneous process. It comes in increments and not everyone progresses at the same pace.

Much like children in school, some of us master math easily; others have no trouble with English; and some develop muscular and physical strength long before their peers. And there are some of us who become discouraged when we don't seem to be "getting it" as quickly as others.

This is where much of the power of Step Eleven lies. When we combine the knowledge about ourselves we acquired in our self-evaluation steps with the meditation and prayer called for by this step, we create a strong foundation for growth and self-acceptance.

This foundation stabilizes our purpose and resolve by telling us that we are exactly who we should be today, and where we should be today. By practicing principles that the past ten steps have taught us, we're well on the path to the kind of life we'ver yearned for. As long as we continue to seek guidance through prayer, and heed the inner voice that will manifest itself as we listen in meditation, then we're progressing at exactly the appropriate pace for us.

Today's Step: Day by day, my Higher Power is leading me on the road to recovery.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink

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Day 10

Guidance

"When you feel you can't stand on your feet any longer, try a bended knee." anonymous

Volumes have been written about the techinques of meditation throughout both Oriental and Occidental philosophies. They range from the teachings of mystics to sensory deprivation and guided imagery.

Transcendental Meditaiton became a rage in the Sixties. People followed the teachings of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, recieve their mantras, and once or twice a day, for twenty minutes, went off by themselves to practice his techniques.

There are religious meditations that are devotional exercises, and there are other forms of active meditation in which one simply ponders a question or follows the flow of the breath.

Some of us have studied, and continue to practice, the type of meditation that falls into the devotional category. Others have found that, for them, prayer means talking to their Higher Power, and meditation is listening to their inner selves for guidence.

We believe that meditation is vital in developing our instincts for making beneficial decisions for ourselves. As we practice listening to our inner voices, we begin to sense a feeling of divine guidance.

Today's Step: I explore meditation techniques and find the one that suits me.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink