Discussion and Sharing Welcomed!

[CarolD]

Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

[barb dwyer]

I'm not here yet -
but, in the past ... two weeks?
I've had several people approach me and make their amends; for things I had not even noticed, really ... the first time, I flat-out asked what is the appropriate response to an amends - lol - I didn't know how to act!
Or, what to say.
One was for a remark made during a pretty hot and hairy game of hearts in the club ... heck - I thought we were just playing cards!
So I piped in and made an amends ... for giving such a crappy pass to the same person.
We laughed ... the person felt better, obviously ... and I saw clearly that I've a long way to go before I'm self aware enough to remember a single remark made in the heat of a really zippy card game ... and have the wherewithall to keep my dance that clean.

Humility ... on both sides.
I'm looking forward to it.
That's all I got.
thanks!

[CarolD]

I really like to work this step!

By doing a nightly inventory
I usually can make a sincere amend the next day.

No big heap of stuff to dig thru.

It keeps me alert and moving forward.

Thanks for letting me share.

[paulmh]

It's a key word - "alert". I was fortunate enough to attend a strong step 10 meeting recently. It encouraged me to practice this step more carefully, and a few weeks later I'm really feeling the difference.

Being mindful and aware helps me, so much, in maintaining serenity.

[came2believe]

I'm having trouble practicing step 10. It's not that I have so many things to make amends for, or anything like that. It's strange, but I do fewer and fewer things that require amends the longer I've been working the steps... I do steps 1-3 and steps 6-7 each and every day.

Here is the thing, my sponsor wants me to write a 10th step every evening. I just never get around to it. Still, I do make amends when necessary and call my sponsor each time.

But as for my reluctance in doing the actual writing, is it my disease trying to jump in my way? Or can I get away with not writing it all out on paper?

Thanks, I've rarely gotten bogged down like this before.

[CarolD]

Why not set aside 5 minutes before bedtime for writing?
What can it hurt?

Just my thoughts..

[came2believe]

All right, 5 minutes seems manageable. I would certainly give more than 5 minutes per day to try and get "enough" to drink, right?

I'll try it tonight. Thank you, Carol.

[GlassPrisoner]

It's not that I have so many things to make amends for, or anything like that. It's strange, but I do fewer and fewer things that require amends the longer I've been working the steps... I do steps 1-3 and steps 6-7 each and every day.

Ditto.

My sponsor and I have read the BB and 12X 12, and discussed this step. So, "officially", I've done it.

I'm thinking this is something that takes time to perfect. I'm catching the few oopses I make, but not always immediately making amends. Progress, not perfection.....

[lanie67]

This step strikes terror into my heart. I have made some stupid amends lately, that I probably didn't owe that bit me in the butt. My main mistake with this step is that I don't have a sponsor right now and that I go ahead and make these amends without talking them over with anyone. And then I get myself in a mess. But I know I need to work harder on this tenth step, if I'd been practicing it with any consistency my life would not be in the complete mess that it is in right now.

[patricial]

Step ten is working steps 4-9 in your head. You take a inventory 4 if you need to talk to someone about #5 look at what defect came up ask god to remove it 6,7 and then make amends 8,9. That is why you have to work the first nine to do this one. I do not see in the book where it says to write it out. At the end of the day you review your day to look at any other amends need to be made

[TimmyO]

I'm with YOU patricial... it is 4-9 rolled up into one. The hardest part for me was practicing it every day but as with anything else, the more you do it, the easier it gets, and the smaller the piles are at the end of the day! In fact, many days there are NO piles at all! An amazing thing! Like all the other ones, just taking the actions is the most important thing, God is helping us with all the rest...

T

[Tommyh]

sometimes if it is a biggie,I write it out and share it with my sponser,and I usually see a pattern

most of the times I don`t write it out now

I also find steps 10 and 11 flow together after a while

[savoy]

Originally Posted by patricial

Step ten is working steps 4-9 in your head. You take a inventory 4 if you need to talk to someone about #5 look at what defect came up ask god to remove it 6,7 and then make amends 8,9. That is why you have to work the first nine to do this one. I do not see in the book where it says to write it out. At the end of the day you review your day to look at any other amends need to be made

Step 10 is definately not written, but I have on occasion written a reminder list.

But I did talk about it with an old timer (45yrs) and he said the same thing, 'don't go putting things in the Big Book that aren't there.'

Its supposed to become the way I think, 4-5-6-7-8-9.

To become fluent in how a resentment breaks down into defects , how they arise from fear and from whence that fear came.
Personally I think it helps to go back over my 4th to review and learn the process, so I'm not a fan of burning it. It has no power over me anymore anyway.

[Aa_vark]

Im with you, lanie, about the striking of the terror in the heart.

I grew up in a denomination that christians like to bash. Catholicism.

I wonder sometimes what priests and nuns say in confession, ya know?

Or Saints?

[savoy]

One other point about 10,
its a personal inventory,
step 4 is a moral inventory.

The difference is I didn't know when I started step 4.
By step 10 "sanity has returned" and I can now observe me, I can see myself as others have always seen me, if I couldn't I wouldn't be able to review my day.

In a sense its the same as 4 but from a different perspective.
And unlike 4, I'm not puzzling over what anything means, I know.
Ignorance is no longer an excuse.

[CarolD]

One of my favorite Steps!


By doing this daily...I keep in serene balance.

Thanks for letting me share

[NOMOMERLOTMAMMA]

It was my work night so I was meeting my sponsor after the meeting tonight to go over the 10th step. Well, what do you know? I got out early and was able to make the meeting, where we were reading the pages regarding the 10th and 11th step!

I'm looking forward to working this one. So often I can brush over my day and end up smelling like a rose to myself without the introspection. I will remember not to forget the good stuff either.

[ananda]

I try to do a little mental list...what I did well and what I could do better.

[Allidap]

I am really need to continuously do this step daily, thanks guys

[CarolD]

Allidap....Hi again ..

Well done on your recovery years...:funjump;