Starting the Steps Today- Step 1

[gr8ful42day]

Here it goes!


I took a few steps back since my last post stating Step 1. I thought I had understood it right away but after reading more and posts here I realized that my life was not unmanageable because of the alcohol. Apparently I could not deal with life sober, so I turned to the alcohol thinking it would help, it just made it more unmanageable!

I have read the Step before the Steps..I concede that I am an alcoholic.

I have my Big Book, A Woman's Way through The Twelve Steps, 12 and 12 and my Bible, and an open mind. (any other tools I should have?)

My sponsor was in a car accident last night So sad for her, I can so relate! She fractured her back. I guess I should get a temp sponsor?

[GettingStronger2]

First as to the sponsor question.. .i think you should pray about it and talk about with you current sponsor, if she is able. A fractured back sounds like a pretty serious injury with some pretty serious recovery time. If that is the case, you may want to work with someone else for a while.

Other tools? For me, all i needed to go through the steps was my Big Book. That is how my sponsor took me through the work.

When i first went through the steps, i thought i had a grasp of step 1 -- yes, i was powerless over alcohol, i could not stop once i started, and yes, when i was drinking my life was completely unmanageable.

That is not how i see step 1 today. Sure, it is still part of it, but Step 1 is much bigger than that to me today.

I have lost the choice in whether i drink or do not drink, i am completely powerless when it comes to alcohol, before or after i take the first drink.

and my life is unmanageable by me. . .sober or drinking. So long as i try to run the show, calamity will happen. This is how i get to step 2 and 3, seeking the Power that will match Calamity with Serenity.

[Tommyh]

your present sponsor may need to work with you during the healing process.I would keep the present sponsor,it would help them when they may not be able to get out to meetings.
thats just my thinking

[CarolD]

Sorry your sponsor was injured....prayers for healing going out.
I think you could begin on your own...wait a bit to see what she suggests later.

I don't know how long it will take for her to feel well enough
to sponsor....be a friend for now and keep moveing forward. ..

[gr8ful42day]

A few days ago my sponsor was moved to a nursing rehab center within walking distance to me! I have been visiting and spending time everyday. She is something, I tell ya! She is still wanting us to continue. I think we are helping each other so I am going to keep her and not get a temp.

I have worked through my work book for step 1 and am now reading the 12 & 12 step 1.

One thing that is really coming to light is what I can and cannot control. Took me awhile to even list 2 things! I didn't realize how I thought I could control everything. I guess that is alkie tendency? I will go over my work book with sponsor today.

The only 2 things I could come up with (I am sure I will learn more undoubtedly) were:
1. Can't control weather/can control my reaction to it
2. Can't control what others think of me/my reaction....someone said in a meeting the other day that really struck me was "what others think of you is not your business"....I loved that. I have spent my whole life caring what others thought of me.

I have so much to learn! So, very, very much.

I posted my 'tale' in my 'Class thread' FYI. You can see it here. (Class of October 2011)

[MEJ]

"What others think of you is not your business"

That's great. I'm on day 17 of my newfound sobriety, and though I know that what others think of me shouldn't affect my thoughts, attitude or behavior, it always seems to anyway. I'll try and keep this in mind the next time I recite the serenity prayer.

Thanks for sharing!

[Dee74]

Welcome to SR MEJ

D

[sugarbear1]

Step 1, int the big book, is from the beginning to page 43. I didn't us a workbook. Any way you move forward is wonderful.

I never grasped a step until I worked th he next step. Clarence S. speaks about the 12 steps in xa-speakers...How it Works 1982. He had about 42 years of sobriety then.

Stick with your sponsor! Glad you are!

[gr8ful42day]

Originally Posted by sugarbear1

Step 1, int the big book, is from the beginning to page 43. I didn't us a workbook. Any way you move forward is wonderful.

I never grasped a step until I worked th he next step. Clarence S. speaks about the 12 steps in xa-speakers...How it Works 1982. He had about 42 years of sobriety then.

Stick with your sponsor! Glad you are!

Thanks, going to read these pages again before moving onto step 2.

[Sapling]

page 30 BB
We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed. We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control.

[Sapling]

The way my sponsor explained this step to me was...I was Powerless over alcohol...but also I was Powerless over my life (actions I take based on my thoughts, drinking or not) Thoughts....My will. Cure for Powerless...Is Power. Second part of step one......I couldn't manage my life. I needed a new manager. One that could restore me to sanity (Picking up that first drink or not, or saying to myself...it's OK to drink whiskey if I mix it with milk.). I was fortunate that I knew who that manager was.

[Sapling]

It's really as simple as learning our A, B, C's.

(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives. (2nd part step 1)
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism. (1st part step 1)
(c) That God could and would if He were sought. (step 2)

Being convinced, we were at Step Three.
Page 60 BB