kriz24747

I've been a steady drinker for quite sometime now. theres not a day that goes by that i dont drink. i work a 12 hour night shift and a lot of times i find myself drinking a few beers when i get home at 5am. when its my day off alot of times i find myself reaching into that case of beer soon after i wake up and don't stop tell i sleep that night.

I have 4 children, a wife, i have a full time job, and im full time in school.
I'm just tired of being a victim to alcohol!

Please if anyones got a little bit of advice about what they did to change there exhausting alcoholic life style, anything would help. Thank You

Dee74

Hi Kriz

From where you've posted, I'm assuming you're thinking of AA?
That seems a great place to start for many folks here

Welcome to SR
D

kriz24747

I've tried AA it just doesn't seem right. but im hoping online here i could get more better support. But yes the reason i put this in step 1 is cause im admiting that im an alcoholic and i'm not in-control of my life.

viavai

I think you should try AA another few times. Going to one meeting doesn't count as "willing to go to any lengths" to get and stay sober. I hated AA at first; in fact, I hated the fact that I had to go to AA. But then I met some really nice people that I could relate to and who could relate to me--and I stayed in the rooms, mainly so that I could see them and go out for coffee afterwards (sort of a second mini-meeting). Then I got a sponsor and started working the steps; and I'm guessing that if you are already on Step One, you want what we have. You're tired of being a slave to alcohol. I am too. I'm only on Day Nine, and I am newly sober after a nine-month relapse that happened after four years of sobriety. The process of starting anew has been very humbling.

I know you're thinking "Aha! So AA doesn't work, because you relapsed." AA works if you work it, and I wasn't. I became too wrapped up in grad school, and stopped going to meetings regularly, was not working with a sponsor, and I was definitely not in fit spiritual condition (and by "spiritual" I don't mean a God thing).

Speaking of which, I know the God thing can scare people away from AA. Don't let it. I sometimes believe in God and sometimes don't (depending on what day you ask me), but I do meditate. For me--and others here will argue that this is not true spirituality--I believe in a Higher Power that exists in the people in those AA meetings. There is a power greater than myself that keeps me sober, and every time I'm in an AA meeting I am in awe, because there is no way that a roomful of drunks should not be drinking, in jail, in the hospital, or dead.

This disease is deadly. It is also "cunning, baffling, and powerful." I wish you the best. Keep posting--especially when you have the urge to drink.

I hope my post wasn't too didactic; I just wanted to share with you my experience. Thanks for reading.

kargy

Hi. You may still want to consider AA because whether you realize it or not you've already made strides in step 1. Like Vai, When I first got involved with AA I was not crazy about it. I wanted to know all the details of how this was going to "fix" me. Before even getting involved I wanted to know how I was supposed to find a Higher Power when I hadn't had any belief in 30 some years. As I went along I began to understand it wasn't about that. It wasn't about some formal religious belief or God. It was about willingness. A guy with 22 years in a meeting last week said in reference to the steps and program "I've got a blueprint that I don't know how to read, but but I know I'm gonna build something" Today that's how I think of the program, a blueprint that I don't need to know how everything goes together, I just need to get started building.
Sorry if this post is overzealous, but I'm just coming back to the program and working on this myself.

CarolD

kriz24747.....Welcome ..

When I began working my AA Steps...I felt a shift in perception
from sometiimes shakey sobriety into solid recovery.....
I so hope you will find that true for you.

Blessings to you and your family

viavai

Hi, Kriz!

How are you today? Just checking in to offer my support of your efforts. It's bound to be rough at first, but just keep it in the day. Let tomorrow take care of itself.

Best to you....

DayTrader

A complete change of life style.... ah, I remember coming to the conclusion that that's what I needed as well. It was an important milestone on my road to recovery.

Like viavai said above, I had to work and encorporate the 12 steps into my life before any truly beneficial and lasting changes happened. Also like viavai, I haaaated AA at first. I didn't like that I needed them, their stupid steps, and that I was continually told I'd probably be screwed unless I gave it a sincere shot. What I thought was a "sales pitch" was really a lot of love being heaped upon me. One alcoholic can spot another easily.......and they could see the pain on my face, hear it in my words, and see it in my actions.

A complete life make-over was in order.....a total frame-off restoration. It was humbling to admit I "needed" AA and I fought it a lot at the beginning out of pride and ego. One I finally surrendered and really tried to work the program though, the healing began in earnest.

Welcome to the path.....

There's a lot of support here.......support for staying on the path and for alternate routes. There's a lot of experience here as well...a ton actually. Ask lots of questions and try to be as open and honest as you can....with us but especially with yourself.

kriz24747

Thanks everyone with the advice! Im now going on day 4 of soberiety and it was kinda funny this morning on my way to school i felt excited for once in my life in the change i decided to make! I also felt good monday night when i was talking to someone at wal-mart and known that i didn't smell like alcohol. monday was still the hardest day yet though being that it was my first day off from work since i decided this all. i made it through today just because i was staying busy.
I think reading some of the blogs that children have wrote about there parents or loved ones has also helped me make this decision.
thanks via for checking back in with me too! That made me feel warm inside!
I'm in the thoughts of tring out AA again, but for the mean time i'll keep posting here. Please keep your thoughts coming it helps! Thanks