I have finally accepted I am an alcoholic
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 29
I have finally accepted I am an alcoholic
I am 27 years old and my drinking is out of control.
I do not drink because it is fun, I drink to get drunk! I drink till I pass out and I always black out.
After last night I have had enough. I went to a friend's house for some wine and dinner and 2 hours later I convinced her to open another wine bottle, and another one after that. Then we had a few beers and my next memory is from being out on a night club!
Next thing I am kicked out from the club because I had passed out and was completely gone... Someone puts me in a cab and this morning I woke up on the kitchen floor with a big bump in my head and could not remember anything. I lost my brand new iphone, I spent alot of money, I texted ppl I shouldnt have been texting (but as my phone is gone I do not even know what I wrote... but I know it was bad), and I read a note my boyfriend (since 5 years) has left next to me on the floor; "Enough is enough. I can not live with you, you make my life a living hell. Please move out"
Last night was a typical night in my life, this usually happens atleast once or twice each week. I cant stop drinking, it is out of control!!! If I dont stop drinking now I will end up dead. Over the past few months I have been sent to ER by strangers because of intoxication, I have passed out on the most bizarre places, I have ended up in situations that I would never dream of being in while sober and I have hurt my boyfriend so many times... I am ashamed and I hate myself for being this way.
At the same time as I am living this mad drunk life I am a full time master student with top grades. I also work part time 40% and I have a big social network and I am an appreciated guest at the clubs in my city. But it is all falling apart now... I cant uphold this anymore! I want to stop drinking and focus on finishing my degree and try to regain my boyfriend's trust... But it is so hard!!! .
I told my best friend and my parents about everything today. How I drink alone at home, hide cans and bottles... Such a relief...
Any advice are welcome... I do not want to be a drunk anymore...
I do not drink because it is fun, I drink to get drunk! I drink till I pass out and I always black out.
After last night I have had enough. I went to a friend's house for some wine and dinner and 2 hours later I convinced her to open another wine bottle, and another one after that. Then we had a few beers and my next memory is from being out on a night club!
Next thing I am kicked out from the club because I had passed out and was completely gone... Someone puts me in a cab and this morning I woke up on the kitchen floor with a big bump in my head and could not remember anything. I lost my brand new iphone, I spent alot of money, I texted ppl I shouldnt have been texting (but as my phone is gone I do not even know what I wrote... but I know it was bad), and I read a note my boyfriend (since 5 years) has left next to me on the floor; "Enough is enough. I can not live with you, you make my life a living hell. Please move out"
Last night was a typical night in my life, this usually happens atleast once or twice each week. I cant stop drinking, it is out of control!!! If I dont stop drinking now I will end up dead. Over the past few months I have been sent to ER by strangers because of intoxication, I have passed out on the most bizarre places, I have ended up in situations that I would never dream of being in while sober and I have hurt my boyfriend so many times... I am ashamed and I hate myself for being this way.
At the same time as I am living this mad drunk life I am a full time master student with top grades. I also work part time 40% and I have a big social network and I am an appreciated guest at the clubs in my city. But it is all falling apart now... I cant uphold this anymore! I want to stop drinking and focus on finishing my degree and try to regain my boyfriend's trust... But it is so hard!!! .
I told my best friend and my parents about everything today. How I drink alone at home, hide cans and bottles... Such a relief...
Any advice are welcome... I do not want to be a drunk anymore...
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 449
You can get sober and enjoy life, immensely. The good and the bad, the adventures in life - without alcohol.
You are young, but that doesn't mean anything with respect to being alcoholic. I drank like an alcoholic when I was 15. Lots of people thought I was alcoholic at 18. I didn't come around to accepting it until I was 31 or so, and didn't actually seek out help until I was 33.
Now I'm 42. The past nine years have been THE BEST, the coolest, and indescribably wonderful. I sought help at a local AA meeting. I met people there with more education than me and less education than me. Some more intelligent, some - seemingly less intelligent. A diverse group to be sure. But we shared a common problem and a common solution and it has been awesome.
Try not to drink tonight, but instead seek out an AA meeting in your area. Look intensely for a person of the same sex as you or just announce in a meeting that you'd like to stop drinking and hope someone can help you through the book Alcoholics Anonymous. Here's a link
To the foreward.
AA Big Book -- Forward
AA Big Book -- The Doctor's Opinion
It's to the Doctor's Opinion. In the book. Take a peek at it too if you can.
Good Luck. While ever being able to control and enjoy your drinking might be a hopeless proposition - there's hope in a wonderfully full life ahead of you without alcohol - right in front of you - just waiting for you to take action and sieze it.
Regards.
You are young, but that doesn't mean anything with respect to being alcoholic. I drank like an alcoholic when I was 15. Lots of people thought I was alcoholic at 18. I didn't come around to accepting it until I was 31 or so, and didn't actually seek out help until I was 33.
Now I'm 42. The past nine years have been THE BEST, the coolest, and indescribably wonderful. I sought help at a local AA meeting. I met people there with more education than me and less education than me. Some more intelligent, some - seemingly less intelligent. A diverse group to be sure. But we shared a common problem and a common solution and it has been awesome.
Try not to drink tonight, but instead seek out an AA meeting in your area. Look intensely for a person of the same sex as you or just announce in a meeting that you'd like to stop drinking and hope someone can help you through the book Alcoholics Anonymous. Here's a link
To the foreward.
AA Big Book -- Forward
We, of Alcoholics Anonymous, are more than one hundred men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book. For them, we hope these pages will prove so convincing that no further authentication will be necessary. We think this account of our experiences will help everyone to better understand the alcoholic. Many do not comprehend that the alcoholic is a very sick person. And besides, we are sure that our way of living has its advantages for all.
It is important that we remain anonymous because we are too few, at present to handle the overwhelming number of personal appeals which may result from this publication. Being mostly business or professional folk, we could not well carry on our occupations in such an event. We would like it understood that our alcoholic work is an avocation.
When writing or speaking publicly about alcoholism, we urge each of our Fellowship to omit his personal name, designating himself instead as "a member of Alcoholics Anonymous."
Very earnestly we ask the press also, to observe this request, for otherwise we shall be greatly handicapped. We are not an organization in the conventional sense of the word. There are no fees or dues whatsoever. The only requirement for membership is an honest desire to stop drinking. We are not allied with any particular faith, sect or denomination, nor do we oppose anyone. We simply wish to be helpful to those who are afflicted.
We shall be interested to hear from those who are getting results from this book, particularly form those who have commenced work with other alcoholics. We should like to be helpful to such cases. Inquiry by scientific, medical, and religious societies will be welcomed.
It is important that we remain anonymous because we are too few, at present to handle the overwhelming number of personal appeals which may result from this publication. Being mostly business or professional folk, we could not well carry on our occupations in such an event. We would like it understood that our alcoholic work is an avocation.
When writing or speaking publicly about alcoholism, we urge each of our Fellowship to omit his personal name, designating himself instead as "a member of Alcoholics Anonymous."
Very earnestly we ask the press also, to observe this request, for otherwise we shall be greatly handicapped. We are not an organization in the conventional sense of the word. There are no fees or dues whatsoever. The only requirement for membership is an honest desire to stop drinking. We are not allied with any particular faith, sect or denomination, nor do we oppose anyone. We simply wish to be helpful to those who are afflicted.
We shall be interested to hear from those who are getting results from this book, particularly form those who have commenced work with other alcoholics. We should like to be helpful to such cases. Inquiry by scientific, medical, and religious societies will be welcomed.
It's to the Doctor's Opinion. In the book. Take a peek at it too if you can.
Good Luck. While ever being able to control and enjoy your drinking might be a hopeless proposition - there's hope in a wonderfully full life ahead of you without alcohol - right in front of you - just waiting for you to take action and sieze it.
Regards.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The Trenches, Texas
Posts: 778
Welcome welcome welcome! 
I was 25 when I made it to the rooms of AA, was in college, little wifeypoo and kiddo, all that neat stuff. Today I am 28, sober, back in college, no wifeypoo, great relationship with the kiddo...and life is pretty much on freakin fire!
Have you been to any of our meetings yet? You can have some of this too!
I was 25 when I made it to the rooms of AA, was in college, little wifeypoo and kiddo, all that neat stuff. Today I am 28, sober, back in college, no wifeypoo, great relationship with the kiddo...and life is pretty much on freakin fire! Have you been to any of our meetings yet? You can have some of this too!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Spinning happily in my hula hoop
Posts: 2,618
Originally Posted by accept 
I am 27 years old and my drinking is out of control. I do not drink because it is fun, I drink to get drunk! I drink till I pass out and I always black out. After last night I have had enough. I went to a friend's house for some wine and dinner and 2 hours later I convinced her to open another wine bottle, and another one after that. Then we had a few beers and my next memory is from being out on a night club! Next thing I am kicked out from the club because I had passed out and was completely gone... Someone puts me in a cab and this morning I woke up on the kitchen floor with a big bump in my head and could not remember anything. I lost my brand new iphone, I spent alot of money, I texted ppl I shouldnt have been texting (but as my phone is gone I do not even know what I wrote... but I know it was bad), and I read a note my boyfriend (since 5 years) has left next to me on the floor; "Enough is enough. I can not live with you, you make my life a living hell. Please move out" Last night was a typical night in my life, this usually happens atleast once or twice each week. I cant stop drinking, it is out of control!!! If I dont stop drinking now I will end up dead. Over the past few months I have been sent to ER by strangers because of intoxication, I have passed out on the most bizarre places, I have ended up in situations that I would never dream of being in while sober and I have hurt my boyfriend so many times... I am ashamed and I hate myself for being this way. At the same time as I am living this mad drunk life I am a full time master student with top grades. I also work part time 40% and I have a big social network and I am an appreciated guest at the clubs in my city. But it is all falling apart now... I cant uphold this anymore! I want to stop drinking and focus on finishing my degree and try to regain my boyfriend's trust... But it is so hard!!! . I told my best friend and my parents about everything today. How I drink alone at home, hide cans and bottles... Such a relief... Any advice are welcome... I do not want to be a drunk anymore...
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Welcome Accept......you're already off on such a better and faster path than I was. Good for you!
While AA holds no monopoly on recovery, most of us here in the 12 Step forum are in agreement that nothing comes close to the power or God. Of course, it's a God of YOUR OWN understanding......not my God, or his God, or her God. If you've got God "issues," welcome to the crowd, most if not all of us did too. ....that's what so cool about "of your understanding" - you pretty much get to create your own fresh concept however you like.
Step 1 talks about admitting defeat when it comes to alcohol AND about running our own life even when we're not smashed. Don't take that to mean you're a complete wreck and incapable of doing anything....just that we need help drunk AND sober.
While AA holds no monopoly on recovery, most of us here in the 12 Step forum are in agreement that nothing comes close to the power or God. Of course, it's a God of YOUR OWN understanding......not my God, or his God, or her God. If you've got God "issues," welcome to the crowd, most if not all of us did too. ....that's what so cool about "of your understanding" - you pretty much get to create your own fresh concept however you like.
Step 1 talks about admitting defeat when it comes to alcohol AND about running our own life even when we're not smashed. Don't take that to mean you're a complete wreck and incapable of doing anything....just that we need help drunk AND sober.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 645
I was 27 years old when I first walked through the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous. I was a periodic binge drinker with periods of controlled/ moderate drinking interspersed with the binges. The next morning was consumed with guilt, shame and remorse. I would paw through my purse for credit card and ATM receipts to try and figure out how much I had spent, how much I had drank. I had no idea how I could lose all control like that. I made up excuses (i.e., the stress, lost track of how much I was drinking, tired and run down, dehydrated, hadn't eaten, etc.) and I would make up rules to try and avoid the inevitable next binge. My drinking rules, unfortunately, did not prevent the next time. Sooner or later, I would binge again. All the while, I was in graduate school, earning top grades, and working part time to support myself. It was as if my life were two sides of a coin (the respectable employee and grad student and the wild thing living on the wild side). The folks in the rooms welcomed me and shared their experience. I found folks who truly understood and who had a solution. Look up AA on line or in the phone book for your area. Call and ask for help. Tell them what you told us. Check out the links The Jungian Thing posted for you. You don't have to live as you are living. There is a solution, but you have to take action and reach out for help. Susan
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