A Newbie, needing all the input she can get.

[Porkchop1126]

Hi, my name is April and I am not sure if I am doing this right but I wanted to get started right away. For 3 years I have been trying to get clean, and I am still trying. I refuse to give up. They say if at first you don't succeed try, try again. I have only been clean this time for one week today, that may not sound like much but believe me when I say it is much for me. I think I am really going to enjoy this group and I plan on visiting often as I am having trouble finding N.A. meetings close to me, lots of A.A. (which I know they say the 12 Steps are the same) but I need to feel connected to my problem a little more than just any 12 step program. I am a drug addict, and I need to learn to understand that about me. Does that make sense? I would love any and all advice, support, help, comfort and as many friends as I can get. Thank you and God Bless Everyone.

[Gmoney]

Hi April!!!

I love your motto! I recall one that helped me and you can use it if you like: "Winners never quit and quitters never win." The fact that you are here, continuing to try, and clean today makes you a winner in my book! Congrats on your week clean and keep up the good work.

Your concern definitely makes sense to me. I am a recovering addict, and although I'll use an AA meeting in a pinch, Narcotics Anonymous is my home. If you need assistance in finding NA meetings in your area, you can try the NA meeting locator:

http://portaltools.na.org/portaltools/MeetingLoc/

I'll offer you the same suggestions that were offered to me back in 1998 when I first got clean. These same suggestions have worked for countless other addicts and some members refer to them as the "tools" of the program:

[1] Stay clean no matter what
[2] Go to 90 meetings in 90 days
[3] Join a home group
[4] Get a NA Basic Text and read it
[5] Get a sponsor
[6] Work the 12 Steps
[7] Get involved in service
[8] Keep coming back

Be blessed,
GarryW

[dgillz]

Tons of AA meetings in the bay area, including a lot in St Petersburg. Check out this link:

http://www.bascna.org/

[Grasshopper]

Hi and welcome!!!

[jimhere]

Originally Posted by Porkchop1126

Hi, my name is April and I am not sure if I am doing this right but I wanted to get started right away. For 3 years I have been trying to get clean, and I am still trying. I refuse to give up. They say if at first you don't succeed try, try again. I have only been clean this time for one week today, that may not sound like much but believe me when I say it is much for me. I think I am really going to enjoy this group and I plan on visiting often as I am having trouble finding N.A. meetings close to me, lots of A.A. (which I know they say the 12 Steps are the same) but I need to feel connected to my problem a little more than just any 12 step program. I am a drug addict, and I need to learn to understand that about me. Does that make sense? I would love any and all advice, support, help, comfort and as many friends as I can get. Thank you and God Bless Everyone.

Hey,
Welcome, April. First off, I want to say how fortunate you are in knowing the truth of what is wrong with you. Many people do not and there is much confusion and blurring of the lines in both A.A.'s and N.A.'s singleness of purpose.

I didn't know what I was when I got to A.A. I thought I was an alcoholic anda drug addict. I had used lots of drugs when I was younger, but it started with alcohol. I was able to moderate my use of drugs (primarily speed) when it became a problem. But not so with alcohol. Once I started I couldn't stop and when I wanted to quit I couldn't. But at the to the four different treatment centers I went to, I was told that I was a drug addict and that alcohol was "my drug of choice." Today I know that where alcohol is concerned I do not have the power of choice when it comes to deciding when I will drink. I have the power of choice where drugs are concerned. My experience proves that I can take them or leave them.

I'm grateful that I met a man in A.A. who knew there was a difference and didn't tell me what I was. Instead he helped me find out for myself.

April you are right about the 12 Steps. They will work for any problem provided they have a foundation of truth, but the fellowships necessarily won't. I have seen many who based their recovery on a lie and did the steps based on that and hung out in a fellowship that they didn't belong in. More than a few of those went back to whatever their problem was and some have died.

I know you can find N.A. in your area, but you are welcome at open A.A. meetings as well. People will welcome you and they should, but do not let those who are well-meaning but mis-informed mislead you. You will not only find people like yourself in N.A., but you will find a place where, because of your own experience, you can be uniquely useful to people like yourself. I wish you well on your journey.
Jim

[Gmoney]

Well said Jim!!

I recall being in a treatment center and the staff forced me to admit I was an alcoholic - or else they wouldn't grant me a "successful" release. Naturally, I wanted to go home with the feeling I had completed the "course," so I said I was. And because AA meetings were so plentiful, comibined with the facilities endorsing AA, I initially went to AA meetings and identified myself as an "alcoholic-addict" out of respect. Although there were many addicts at those AA meetings, and plenty of AA's who had used drugs...I struggled to identify.

Sure... I started with alcohol, but I never liked it nor could I drink as much as my peers. I can count the times I actually got drunk on my fingers, but I continued to drink to fit in. Once I added drugs to the mix, I found that I could tolerate alcohol much more but I could take it or leave it. It appeared to be the same with drugs, because there were numerous periods when I could go without getting high at all. Yet, that was in the beginning. In the end, I couldn't stop using drugs if I wanted to and I needed help to get clean.

I'm grateful for NA showing me the way - that I am an addict who suffers from the disease of addiction; not drug addiction, but simply addiction. I can become addicted to anything I like. In NA, what you used isn't as important as how we can help you to recover.

[jimhere]

Garry,
I don't want to take over this thread, since April asked for help here. But I believe that maybe one our biggest jobs in doing Twelfth-Step work in both fellowships is helping people get to the place where they need to be so that they can find people like themselves who can give them the help they need so that they might do likewise in turn. Hopefully you & I have done our job.
Jim

[Gmoney]

Nuff said.

[Porkchop1126]

Thank you so much Jimhere for your input. I know that alcohol is a drug as well, and I might be wrong for feeling like I need N.A. instead of A.A. but I just feel I can gain more insight from relating to other addicts who chose chemical substances over alcohol. There are SO many triggers for me, money, no money, weekends, week days, days, nights, friends, strangers, even enemies. So it is a daily battle, but I have a precious 7 yr. old who is worth all the pain, sorrow and doubt I have to go through to get clean and more importantly staying clean. I am so glad I found this group. Thanks Jimhere.

[parentrecovers]

very nice to meet you, april. keep posting! blessings, k

[jimhere]

Originally Posted by Porkchop1126

Thank you so much Jimhere for your input. I know that alcohol is a drug as well, and I might be wrong for feeling like I need N.A. instead of A.A. but I just feel I can gain more insight from relating to other addicts who chose chemical substances over alcohol. There are SO many triggers for me, money, no money, weekends, week days, days, nights, friends, strangers, even enemies. So it is a daily battle, but I have a precious 7 yr. old who is worth all the pain, sorrow and doubt I have to go through to get clean and more importantly staying clean. I am so glad I found this group. Thanks Jimhere.

I should thank you. Seeing your latest post after a crappy day at work made my day. Glad I could help!

My experience is the opposite from yours. I couldn't identify with the people in N.A. But I found my truth in A.A. with the help of a good sponsor. Be sure and find yourself a sponsor in N.A. Thanks again!
Jim