Wait

[wingsfree]

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this...here it goes.

I needed to have this here, I posted it last year and it helped while I continued to struggle with my addiction. I read it over and over and over, and knew I had to wait. I'm really hoping it will have an impact on those who are struggling today, never ever give up.

Today I'm in a better state of mind, which took a long time to get here, finally have a peacefulness, calmness in me that is so unfamiliar, but gratefully working on getting used to it. No more flash backs, no more racing thoughts at all, thanking God for the medical professionals who know how to help, and thanking God even more for giving me the courage and strength to finally be able to open up and be honest with my Dr, today I feel what I'd consider being NORMAL is.

Thanking my God for waiting, I have a strong feeling He's shook his head more then once laughing, with all the little pokes, pushes, some a bit to hard mind you, trying to wake me up, whispers showing me the way, while I continued to struggle, always asking for help with this, but then not totally opening my heart to listen to feel, which really was not intentional, I had myself buried way to deep in thoughts that just didn't matter with what had gone on. Today it's ok, it's ok. In my defence, He made me and gave me a stubborn gene, where else did it come from?

Wait



Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried.
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate
And the Master so gently said, "Child, you must wait!"
"Wait?, you say, wait!" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By FAITH I have asked, and am claiming your Word.
"My future and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to WAIT?
I'm needing a 'yes' a go-ahead sign
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign
"And Lord, you promised that if we believe
We need but to ask, and we shall receive
And Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry
I' weary of asking! I need a reply
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, "You must wait."
So, I slumpted in my chair, defeated and taut
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting..for what?
He seemed then to kneel and His eyes wept with mine
And he tenderly said, "I could give you a sign"
I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun
I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run
All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be
You would have what you want-but, you wonldn't know ME.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint
You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there
You'd not know the joy of resting in me
When the darkness and silence were all you could see
You'd never experience the fullness of love
As the peace of my Spirit descends like a dove
You'd know that I give and I save....(for a start)
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of my heart
The glow of my comfort late into the night
The faith that I give when you walk without sight
The depth that's beyond getting jus what you asked
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have LAST
You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee
What it means that 'My grace is sufficient for thee'
Yes, your dreams for your loved ones overnight would come true
But, oh, the loss! if I lost what I'm doing in you!
"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
THAT THE GREATEST OF GIFTS IS TO GET TO KNOW ME
And though often may my answers seem terribly late
My wisest of answers is still but to WAIT

[Anna]

I love this post Denise!

And, I am SO proud of you and how far you've come. Your generosity of spirit on these forums is wonderful.

[indigo]

Denise that's splendid, I am so very very happy for you and thank you for the post.

You are always close by as I am to you
Annie

[Ann]

That's a keeper, Denise. I remember early in my recovery asking God to hurry up, asking him "when?" and hearing the answer as clearly as if he were standing next to me "Patience, my child". I never had any patience and I think God has needed me to learn the lesson of waiting for the right time, not my time but God's time. I just love what you wrote today, it really touched my heart.

I too know how valiantly you have fought to be in the good place you are in today, and I am grateful that you have shared your journey with me.

Hugs and Love

[cwohio]

thanks for the great reminder denise and good to hear you are feeling calmer and more centered! (())

[wingsfree]

Ohhhhh I just love you all so much, so much.

Anna.....Annie....Ann.....Christie

I really hope you're all in a good place today too.

Funny how we can keep ourselves prisoners with our thoughts for way to many years to even think about, the good thing is, the scars in our hearts will heal if we let them.

I found this poem and it made me think of SR, the boards are full of....

Real Life Angels



Every day in the world around us,
real-life angels are doing things they do....
and bringing more smiles to the world around them.

Real-life angels build bridges instead of walls
They don't play hide-and-seek with the truth,
they do whatever they can to help you.

Real-life angels understand difficulties
and always give the benefit of the doubt.
They don't hold others up to the standards
they can't live by themselves.

Real-life angels are what "inner beauty" is all about.
Real-life angels don't hold things against you,
the only thing they hold....is you.

They take your hand in theirs
when you could use a little reassurance.
They walk beside you when you could do with
a little guidance and direction in your life.
And they support you in your attempts,
to do what is right.

Real-life angels multiply your smiles
and add to your integrity.
They make you feel like,
"Hey, I really am somebody who matters."
Then they quietly prove to you how beautiful
and true that feeling really is.

If you come across an angel like this,
you are one of the luckiest people of all.

If someone in your life
is wonderfully like an angel to you,
it's important to let them know.
It's the nicest compliment you could ever give,
in all the days of your life
and in all the years that you live.

Author Unknown

I've been very blessed finding the HUGE HEART of SR, something has guided all us of here for a reason, so grateful for that.
Giving thanks once more for the help, guidance, caring, understanding, unlimited love and hugs...all the good stuff. thanks so much.

Wings Free Today

All my love....Denise

[cwohio]

"prisoners with our thoughts" - yeah i can dig it! take care dear heart and never forget our angels surround us ALL the time!

[wingsfree]

Thanks Christie, you take care too sweetie, yes our Angels

Guess this is sort of a jumbled up thread I started, today learning about balance, something WE all need to work on at all times eh?

I think this song is fitting for this thread.....

Thank you Dolly Parton & Brad Paisley for a beautiful song.
Also thanking the page creater for sharing beautifully put together pages.

http://www.angelfire.com/planet/rain...ettowhere.html


When I Get To Where I'm Going

When I get where I'm going
On the far side of the sky
The first thing that I'm gonna do
Is spread my wings and fly

I'm gonna land beside a lion
And run my fingers through his mane
Or I might find out what it's like
To ride a drop of rain
Chorus:
Yeah when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
I will shed the sins and struggles
I have carried all these years
And I'll leave my heart wide open
I will love and have no fear
Yeah when I get where I'm going
Don't cry for me down here
I'm gonna walk with my grand daddy
And he'll match me step for step
And I'll tell him how I missed him
Every minute since he left
Then I'll hug his neck
Repeat chorus
So much pain and so much darkness
In this world we stumble through
All these questions I can't answer
So much work to do But when I get where I'm going
And I see my maker's face
I'll stand forever in the light
Of his amazing grace
Yeah when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
Hallelujah
I will love and have no fear
When I get where I'm going
Yeah when I get where I'm going

[Ann]

Again, absoultely beautiful Denise. This thread is such a heart lifter.

[wingsfree]

(((Ann)))

Flying Above The Storm

Did you know: That an eagle knows when the storm is approaching long before it breaks?

The eagle will fly to some high spot and wait for the winds to come. When the storm hits, it sets its wings so that the wind will pick it up and lift it above the storm. While the storm rages below, the eagle is soaring above it. The eagle does not escape the storm; it simply uses the storm to lift it higher. It rises on the winds that bring the storm.

When the storms of life come upon us and all of us will experience them - we can rise above them by setting our minds and our belief toward God. The storms do not have to overcome us. God's power can lift us above them.

God enables us to ride the winds of the storm that bring sickness, tragedy, failure and disappointment in our lives. We can soar above the storm. Remember, it is not the burdens of life that weigh us down, it is how we handle them.

Isaiah 40:31
"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and
not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."

Peace, Light, Love and Hope

Time To Free Your Wings
Much love...Denise

[Ann]

Again, such a lovely writing. I live right on the water now and each morning and evening I watch the birds and also have noticed that their behaviour changes when a storm approaches.

I will watch for an eagle, they come here each summer for a while, and I will think of this as they soar higher and higher.

Thank you, Denise.

[wingsfree]

Directions To His House

Make a Right onto "Believeth Blvd."
Keep straight and go through the Green Light,
which is Jesus Christ.
From there, you must turn onto the "Bridge of
Faith," which is over troubled water.
When you get off the bridge, make a Right turn and
Keep straight. You are on the "King's Highway" - Heaven-bound.
Keep going for three miles: One for the Father,
One for the Son, and One for the Holy Ghost.
Then exit off onto "Grace Blvd."
From there, make a Right turn on "Gospel Lane."
Keep Straight and then make another Right on "Prayer Blvd."
As you go on your way, Yield Not to the traffic on "Temptation Ave."
Also, avoid SIN STREET because it is a DEAD END.
Pass up "Envy Drive," and "Have Avenue."
Also, pass "Hypocrisy Street," "Gossiping Lane," and
"Backbiting Blvd" But you have to go down
"Long-suffering Lane," "Persecution
Blvd.,"and "Trials and Tribulations Ave."
But that's alright, because VICTORY Blvd is straight ahead!

[wingsfree]

(((Ann))) I hope the eagle's soon show themselves. I haven't seen any here I would love to be able to look up to the skies and watch, maybe one day, it certainly will shed a new light.

Everyone should have this list.

Sharing the GIFT of faith

:present:

1. If you feel far away from God, guess who moved?
2. Fear knocked. Faith answered. No one was there.
3. What you are is God's gift to you. What you become is your gift to God.
4. I am God's melody of life and He sings His song through me.
5. We can never really go where God is not, and where He is, all is well.
6. No matter what is happening in your life, know that God is waiting
for you with open arms.
7. God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
8. Do your best and then sleep in peace. God is awake.
9. God has a purpose and plan for me that no one else can fulfill.
10. The will of God will never take you to where the grace of God will
not protect you.
11. We are responsible for the effort, not the outcome.
12. We set the sail; God makes the wind.
13. Begin to weave and God will give you the thread.
14. Sometimes when God says "no", it's because He has something better
in store for you.
15. The task ahead of us is never as great as the power behind us.
16. Prayer: don't bother to give God instructions, just report for
duty.
17. It's my business to do God's business and it's His business to
take care of my business.
18. Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm.
19. How come you're always running around looking for God? He's
not lost.
20. God put me on earth to accomplish a number of things; right
now I'm so far behind I will live forever.

[Ann]

Denise, yesterday we had terrible storms, a very large cell that caused several tornados (I was lucky and didn't get hit) and the clouds were very dark, thick and low, and I watched a couple of hawks do that, rise and disappear into the clouds to rise about the storm.

They weren't eagles but I thought of your post here and felt inspired just watching. Watching nature teaches me more than most books I have read.

Hugs

[wingsfree]

Oh dear Ann....so happy the storm didn't hit you, I seen on the news the destruction it did in a lot of areas not to far from where I am....we've been lucky here so far.

I agree with you on watching nature it certainly does teach us.
I have three hummingbird feeders at my kitchen window, I watch them in awe while I wash my dishes (makes that chore more fun, who knew? ) I constantly have to fill them up, that's how many we get here, amazing little birds...it does a person's heart good watching them.

I've learned more then anything I could ever read in a book from where I was raised, (still amazed with all of it) which I chose to be a burden for years....today I know it's a gift, what I got to experience. That's where I got my user name Wings Free, took me a long time to free myself...it's LIFE, WE have to free ourselves sooner or later from burdens we have no contol over, don't we? As you've said to me before Ann....what we can't control is in God's hands, I couldn't agree more.

Outdoors is where I find my serenity the most, quietly sit there and pay attention to the surroundings, look up to the sky, that's always been a wonder to me, the clouds some days are absolutely breath taking, makes me think of when we were kids, laying on the grass picking out shapes...DREAMING...oh the dreaming, so innocent free and naive, life was simple, not a worry in the world, so we thought....

For today.....

Never Look Back

Never look back at the wrong you've done,
Because that wrong you can't undo.
Just look ahead at the goodness of God,
And he will bring joy to you.

Never look back at failures you've had,
Because they probably weren't failures at all.
Just realize you are made in the image of God-
Like a mountain you will stand tall.

Never look back at what you should have done-
On these thoughts your mind you should rid.
Just ask God to guide you day to day,
Then you can proudly say what you did.

Never look back at moments of pain,
Because the only one that will hurt is you.
Just keep your mind on the love of God,
And watch your gray skies turn blue.

Never look back at material lost,
Because nothing material ever lasts.
But the things that God will give to you,
Nothing material can surpass.

Never look back for what no longer exists,
Because you won't find it anywhere.
Just keep your eyes on the love of God-
Look around you it is always there.

Rev. Brown

[wingsfree]

To Believe

To believe is to know
that every day is a new beginning.
It is to trust that miracles happen,
and dreams really do come true.

To believe is to see Angels
dancing among the clouds.
To know the wonder
of a stardust sky and the
wisdom of the man in the moon.

To believe is to know
the value of a nurturing heart.
The innocence of a child's eyes
and the beauty of an aging hand,
for it is through their teachings
that we learn to love.

To believe is to find the strength
and courage that lies within us.
When it is time to pick up
the pieces and begin again.

To believe is to know
we are not alone.
That life is a gift
and this is our time to cherish it.

To believe is to know
that wonderful surprises
are just waiting to happen.
And all our hopes and dreams
are within reach.

Author Unknown

[deedee]

beautiful (((Denise))) ... thank you

[wingsfree]

(((((DeeDee)))))) you're very welcome.

It's In The Valley I Grow

Sometimes life seems hard to bear,
Full of sorrow, trouble and woe
It's then I have to remember
That it's in the valleys I grow.

If I always stayed on the mountain top
And never experienced pain,
I would never appreciate God's love
And would be living in vain.

I have so much to learn
And my growth is very slow,
Sometimes I need the mountain tops,
But it's in the valleys I grow.

I do not always understand
Why things happen as they do,
But I am very sure of one thing.
My Lord will see me through.

My little valleys are nothing
When I picture Christ on the cross
He went through the valley of death;
His victory was Satan's loss.

Forgive me Lord, for complaining
When I'm feeling so very low.
Just give me a gentle reminder
That it's in the valleys I grow.

Continue to strengthen me, Lord
And use my life each day
To share your love with others
And help them find their way.

Thank you for valleys, Lord
For this one thing I know
The mountain tops are glorious
But it's in the valleys I grow!

:present:

Jane Eggleston

[Ann]

Denise, "To Believe" is one of my favourite poems and it gives me chills every time I read it. Hope you don't mind, I'm going to steal it and share it with the codies today. It's just too good not to pass on.

Thank you again for all the heart touching poems you share here.

[wingsfree]

Ann I love that poem too, first time I've ever read it, then thought it needed to be shared here. You're more than welcome to use the poems I post. I hope the people who create them would be happy to share them here, as we are. You're right so many poems are heart touching.

For today....wow this one hits hard, think most of us can relate.

The Mask I Wear
Illusions

Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear,
For I wear a mask,
I wear a thousand masks,
Masks that I am afraid to take off,
and none of them are me.

Pretending is an art
that's second nature with me,
but don't be fooled.
I give you the impression
that I am secure, that all is
sunny and unruffled with me,
within as well as without,

That confidence is my name and
coolness my game, that the water's calm
and I'm in command, and that I need no one.
But don't believe me.

My surface may be smooth,
But my surface is my mask,
ever-varying and ever-concealing.
Beneath lies no smugness,
No complacence.

Beneath dwells the real me,
In confusion and fear,
In aloneness.
I panic at the thought
of my weakness
and fear being exposed.

That's why I frantically create
a mask to hide behind,
a nonchalant sophisticated facade,
to help me pretend,
to shield me from the glance that knows.

But such a glance
is precisely my salvation.
My only hope, and I know it.
That is, if it's followed by acceptance,
if it's followed by love.

It's the only thing that can
liberate me from myself,
from my own self-built prison walls,
from the barriers I so painstakingly erect.

It's the only thing that will
assure me of what I can't assure myself,
that I'm really worth something.

But I don't tell you this. I don't dare.
I'm afraid to. I'm afraid your glance
will not be followed by acceptance,
will not be followed by love.

I'm afraid you'll think less of me,
that you'll laugh,
and your laugh would kill me.
I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing,
that I'm just no good, and that
you will see this and reject me.

So I play my game,
my desperate pretending game,
with a facade of assurance without
and a trembling child within.

So begins the glittering,
but empty parade of masks,
and my life becomes a front.
I idly chatter with you in the suave
tones of surface talk.

I tell you everything that's really nothing,
and nothing of what's everything,
of what's crying within me

So, when I'm going through my routine,
Please don't be fooled by what I'm saying.
Please listen carefully,
and try to hear what I'm not saying,
And what I'd like to be able to say,
What for survival I need to say,
But what I can't say.

I don't like to hide.
I don't like to play
superficial phony games.
I want to stop playing them.
I want to be genuine and
spontaneous and me,
but you've got to help me.

You've got to hold out your hand
even when that's the last thing
I seem to want.

Only you can call me into aliveness,
Each time you're kind,
and gentle, and encouraging,
Each time you try to understand
because you really care,
My heart begins to grow wings.
Very small wings,
very feeble wings, but wings.

With your sympathy and sensitivity,
And your power of understanding,
You can breathe life into me,
I want you to know that.

I want you to know how important
you are to me, how you can be
a creator of the person that is me,
if you choose to.

Please choose to. Do not pass me by.
It will not be easy for you.
My long conviction of worthlessness
builds strong walls.
The nearer you approach me,
the blinder I may strike back.

I fight against the very thing
I cry out for, but I am told that love
is stronger than strong walls,
In this lies my hope.
Please try to beat down those walls
with firm hands, but with gentle hands,
for a child is very sensitive.

Who am I, you may wonder.
I am someone you know very well,
For I am every man you meet
and I am every woman you meet.

By: Charles C. Finn

[wingsfree]

Each Day Is A Gift


The 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with her hair fashionably coifed and makeup perfectly applied, even though she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today.

Her husband of 70 years recently passed away,
making the move necessary.
After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready.

As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window. "I love it," she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old
having just been presented with a new puppy.

"Mrs. Jones, you haven't seen the room .... just wait."

"That doesn't have anything to do with it," she replied. "Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged, it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away, just for this time in my life."

She went on to explain, "Old age is like a bank account, you withdraw from what you've put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank.
I am still depositing."

And with a smile, she said:
"Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

:present:

1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less."

:present:

Author Unknown

[wingsfree]

Footsteps Of Angels



When Your eyes see where you have been,
And changes now and then.
You have heard footsteps of angels,
As you begin to grin.

Your heart melts at the site of a blind child,
Bending down, giving him a hand.
You feel a lift from heaven,
And join in with their band.

When the sea calls your name,
As you stare out over it's shore.
Admiring it's beauty and knowing what it is for,
It is really angels at your heart's outside door.

When life you give for all you care,
And time for you is late.
Just listen for angels footsteps,
They will carry you to heavens gate.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

[wingsfree]

Making A Difference


"One seed can start a garden, one smile can lift a spirit.
One candle can light a room, one conversation can start a friendship.
One step can begin a journey, one heart can love many
One person can make all the difference
that one is you." *SoberRecovery*



One day a man was walking along the seashore.
He noticed that during the night
many seashells and starfish had washed up on the shore.
Thoroughly enjoying the morning sun and cool sea air,
the man strolled for miles along the sand.
Far off in the distance, he saw a small figure dancing.
The man was joyous that someone was celebrating life
in such a grand and uninhibited manner.
As he drew closer, however ... it became apparent
that perhaps the figure was not dancing
but was repeatedly performing some ritual.
Approaching the small figure, the man noticed that it was a child.
The girl was methodically picking up starfish from the shore
and tossing them back into the surf.
The man paused for a moment, puzzled, then asked ...
"Why are you throwing those starfish?"
"If I leave these starfish on the beach," she replied,
"the sun will dry them, and they will die.
So I'm throwing them back into the ocean
because I want them to live."
The man was silent for a moment, impressed with the child's thoughtfulness.
Then he motioned up and down the miles and miles of beach and said,
"There must be millions of starfish along here!
How can you possibly expect to make a difference?"
The young girl pondered the man's words for a moment,
then she slowly leaned over, reached down,
and carefully picked up another starfish from the sand.
Pulling back, she arched the starfish gently into the surf.
She turned to the man and smiled.
"You may be right," she said ...
"But I Made A Difference For That One!"

Author Unknown


You alone found the window to my soul,
And opening it wide
You helped me see the light.
And that has made all the difference.

Author Unknown

[wingsfree]

An Angel By Your Side



May you always have an Angel by your side.
Watching out for you in all the things you do.
Reminding you to keep believing in brighter days.
Finding ways for your wishes and dreams to come true.
Giving you hope that is as certain as the sun.
Giving you the strength of serenity as your guide.
May you always have love and comfort and courage.

May you always have an Angel by your side.
Someone there to catch you if you fall,
Encouraging your dreams,
Inspiring your happiness,
Holding your hand and helping you through it all.
In all of our days, our lives are always changing.
Tears come along as well as smiles.

Along the roads you travel,
May the miles be a thousand times
more lovely than lonely.
May they give you gifts that never, ever end.
Someone wonderful to love
and a dear friend in whom you can confide.
May you have rainbows after every storm.
May you have hopes to keep you safe and warm.
And may you always have an Angel by your side.
Friends Are Like Angels.

Author Unknown




And God Said..."Make thee an ark
Come into the ark, thou, and thy sons, and thy wife,
And thy sons' wives with thee.
And of every living thing of all flesh,
Two of every sort shalt thou bring into the ark,
To keep them alive with thee"

Genesis 14-19

[indigo]

Denise your thread is beautiful and you are a gift.
Thank you I am proud to call you friend.

love Annie