What - Me - in here?

[equus]

Well I figure you don't need religion or a belief in any spirit world for this:

help advance tolerance, understanding, cooperation and compassion.

Me thinks that is just a good way of being!

But right now I'm getting stretched a little. I try to judge behaviour not people, try to understand that we all make mistakes and not to judge motive. It brings me lots of peacefullness and seems most often a right thing to do but sometimes it get stretched - sometimes I fail completely.

In my job and my life I see one person's callousness to another far too much, when this is because they don't understand or even when they don't think I can accept it reasonably as part of life. The one I find strangely hard are when people hurt someone for greed, just money. I know perhaps they are fearful of not having that money and in that sense need it because they have nothing else giving security. But as the person gets wealthier I find that harder and harder to comprehend, or when the callousness used to get the money at the cost of others turns into a habit of cold heartedness.

I find the value given to huge diamonds obscene in a world that cannot feed it's children. Brand new sports cars could fund a whole school changing hundreds of lives. Then I look at myself and realise my own fears, my own clinging and need for material stuff - is it any better for being slightly less? If I had more would my fear increase so that I needed more?

I can argue my belongings (as far as I know) aren't at the expense of others but is that true? What I spend here can't go there, and there people die lacking basics.

So where do I begin in learning to be complete without my need of so many things? And how, if even knowing I'm no better, do I stop this powerful feeling of judgment seeing people do harm just for money?

[splendra]

Originally Posted by equus

So where do I begin in learning to be complete without my need of so many things? And how, if even knowing I'm no better, do I stop this powerful feeling of judgment seeing people do harm just for money?

I think your question is a very good one. One way might be thru compassion. People who must have things to feel complete must feel very empty inside. Can you feel compassion for someone like that? Can you give love to a person who seems to have many things? What would it look like to give love to them? A smile maybe would do the job. Even with all their wealth they are still God's child and we do not know what they missed that they feel a need to try and fill it with stuff and we never know who they might be giving too in secret.

Some of the saddest people I know come from very wealthy families and they were not taught many things about love cause they never saw it happening. Some of the happiest people I know are the ones who live on love and almost nothing else.

But, it is not wrong to keep a roof over your head, food to eat, and clothes on your back and a job that allows you to pay for these things. It gives people hope to see someone happy and living simply and being filled with love. To walk into a persons field that has love and acceptance in their heart for their fellow human being be they rich or poor is a blessing and who knows they may want to stop holding on to stuff a walk a path of love....

[equus]

Can you feel compassion for someone like that? Can you give love to a person who seems to have many things? What would it look like to give love to them? A smile maybe would do the job.

What's causing me to try and lookat this is that the few I have in mind right now I'd rather slap than smile at. I was going to post all the justification for that but what you wrote is right. I isolate myself from very rich people because I feel so uncomfortable, or I get proud to laugh and say my clothes cost so little from a carboot sale - it is pride and I've seperated myself mentally and physically. It doesn't give me much opportunity to practice compassion towards them but I did visualise it and I do think it's right.

I'll make an effort now to smile at all the best dressed people! It's a start, a small one but perhaps it'll grow. I know I've got a problem with it - even thinking about smiling I start to judge that they will only think it's their clothes I like - but then hey maybe that's okay too, it's why they bought the clothes so might share a bit of happiness anyway.

Smeg!! I do have a problem with this!! But.... one step at a time.

[splendra]

Several years ago I was in a flood I lost all my clothes and furniture. I person that I have worked with who is very wealthy found out about it and called me and asked if I could come over to her house. When I got there she had her personal shopper there to measure me and show me several styles of clothing she sat there and ooohed and ahhhed about different colors and stlyes that she thought looked good on me she was like a little kid at Christmas opening presents. We made another appointment for the fitting later that day...I was in total shock!!! She insisted that I let her do this and insisted on only the very best. I was completely overwhelmed by her generosity. All these other people were giving me things too to help me get back on my feet. I have no idea how much she spent cause she had too much class to let me even see the prices all she said is that she has always really apperiecated how I have always treated her well and did a super professional job in working with her and she wanted to help me...

[equus]

You know - I think maybe accepting wealthy people is part of accepting a lack of personal wealth. It's all comparative, I used to look at millionaires and think such awful things then in Sri Lanka I was like a millionaire, having a bank account is rich. I knew that, I couldn't miss it. The people i met there who were happy despite nothing in money also were comfortable with others having more - I mean REALLY comfortable, not proud, not resentful, not judgmental. They could see the wealthy as generous without asking the questions I did, even gentle and respectful of others keeping more than I would judge they need.

So maybe this is what I think, to let go of materialism to accept a lack of wealth I have to first accept wealth both in myself and others.