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|03-23-2012, 03:22 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Feb 2012
my moment of clarity
Ok so today i was at work and this past tuesday i went to my first AA meeting .i wasn't expecting to get anything .they had a raffle toward the end of the night and some guy won a prize .he walked over and asked if i had a book and gave me The AA fourth edition volume of the big book..
i have little ten minute breaks and a lunch break at work.so i figured i would take the book to work .So i could read it in my car during break .i started reading the first chapter about bill this the story is from the 1930's .any who theres a part where he talks about .Seeing and old friend .from the time of the market crash .this guy used to be a boozer just like he was at that point .this guy shows up to his house and he goes on to state its like he's looking at a new man.
This friend of his talks about religion and finding a god of your understanding .Also He was constantly talking about finding a higher being.He goes on to say in like a reflective moment .that he at first shunned all that religious jesus stuff most of his life (i did the same ,just thought it was all a bunch of Bed time stories) anywho what he said flipped a switch in me at that moment .i cant remember it word for word at the moment but he basically talked about How there must be something responsible some kind of higher force .Which is not understandable but does work in mysterious way's .He confirmed this to himself by pointing out that even with all the drinks he offered his friend His friend just turned each and every one of them down .
He said miracles definitely come true and his buddy was proof of this .he skimmed the surface about spirituality and looking towards a higher understand .As well as just trusting this higher understanding .And the path it will lead you if you decide to follow it .
That you just have to essentially have blind faith and know that theres certain things that are out of your control .You just have to learn to surrender Yourself to it Just let it guide you ..this rang soo true for me my whole life i have been closing myself off and trying to run from things and dealing with them.Instead of just surrendering for the rest of the day i just left "surrendered" to each situation it felt good i wasn't thinking about anything or feeling anything in particular for a moment i totally forgot that i was ever interested in Alcohol .i felt like i was risen from the dead.it was as if the old me had died right there and then in my car and.the person who walked out of the car was a person with a clean slate .
i was brand new it even mentions that in the book when the bill character realized this for himself he felt resurrected .reborn ,the first analogy that comes to mind .Is from the movie superman 3 .where the bad superman is in the junk yard having a mental break down.All of a sudden the clark kent character walks out of him .the two are faced off with each other .
its the puny clark kent with some what of a hint of the superman quality .Verses the Evil superman ..They have it out just when the evil superman puts clark kent into this machine grinder .He burst's out through the machine and grabs the evil superman by the neck and just strangles the life out of him.
Till he vanishes then Clark kent stands up and opens his shirt to reveal the new good superman .
|03-23-2012, 06:20 PM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Look, up in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane,
no, it's a Power Greater Then Self
|03-23-2012, 07:58 PM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
>>> If it makes sense - It ain't spiritual!
- All Big Book quotes are from first Edition -
|03-24-2012, 07:42 AM||#5 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
It is easier to practice total abstinence than perfect moderation
Any quotes from the big book of AA are from the first edition, or are otherwise exempt from copyright infringement under the "fair use doctrine".
|03-28-2012, 09:54 PM||#6 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Litchfield Park, AZ
Good post Ressurect.
I went to church every week from the day I was born until the time I turned 18...but spent the next 30+ years as a pretty devout atheist. I didn't need God, and I thought it was pretty obvious that He didn't need me.
I'm in Al-Anon and started reading the Big Book while my wife was in rehab. I read the same story you did and didn't know quite what to make of it. The line "Why don't you choose your own conception of God?" resonated with me.
I think that if spirituality had been forced on me, I would have turned away. But "there are no musts in Al-Anon," so I did something I hadn't done in 30 years: I left my mind and my heart open to the possibility of a higher power. And I believe that like Bill, my higher power has done things for me that I was incapable of doing for myself.
Like you, I too feel ressurected/reborn. This truly is my second chance at life.
I may even understand your Superman analogy--For me it's the idea that even when we're at our worst, when we at the bottom of the barrel...inside us is still that "good" man just struggling to get out. I think that's true. I think that's what removing our character defects is all about.
So good for you Ressurect...hang in there on your own spiritual journey. And remember, it's a journey, not a destination. One step at a time.
From a withered tree, a flower blooms.
|The Following User Says Thank You to mattmathews For This Useful Post:|| |
Rusty Zipper (03-29-2012)
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