A thought about change

[mattmathews]

I had a small epiphany of sorts, that I'd like to share.
I'm in Al-Anon and occasionally get the opportunity to listen to AA speakers. That experience is always inspirational. It seems like I always see men and women who are smart, funny, spiritual, likeable...but who have been through so much and who have come so far.
On Saturday night, as I listened to the speaker, I found myself thinking that the person in front of me was really an awesome individual. The kind of guy who embodies openness, intelligence, leadership & compassion into one very likeable package. I felt like he was someone I could really respect and look up to.
And yet, as he told to story of his time before AA, it was clear that he wasn't a great person, he might have still be charismatic and likeable, but he wasn't a person that I would have respected or looked up to.
He'd been in the program for over a decade. My wife told me that when she'd first met him, a year or so earlier he'd come into the meetings and the thing people noticed most about him was how much he'd cussed. A small thing, but she said the even in the past year he had "gentled."
Like the speaker, I know that in the past couple of years, I've changed. Partly it was just being "restored to sanity," but it's more than that...I've changed. I've put aside bad habits, I've forgiven and found forgiveness, I'm more open, I react less. And when I look at a guy like the Saturday speaker, I see a glimmer of opportunities for more change.
I don't have to know what needs to be changed, or what I want to be like...I just know that as I continue my spiritual practice, more changes will come as I work at it and as long as I am open.
My epiphany though, came as I considered this: At what point, have I changed so much that I'm no longer the same person that I was when I started? I've been reading the book "Everyday Zen," and the author states that as we continue deeper into our practice, our opportunities for growth continue to expand. They are, in fact, infinite.
If I can continue to grow, to change, at some point the new "me" is no longer even recognizable as the old "me." That is when I thought: "Maybe I do understand the philosophy of "emptiness."" What I think is "me," what I think is so solid and predictable, is just an illusion. Everything really is impermanent...even me.

[Ann]

I don't have to know what needs to be changed, or what I want to be like...I just know that as I continue my spiritual practice, more changes will come as I work at it and as long as I am open.

That's how it worked for me, Matt. First I endured, then I listened and processed what others told me, then I prayed....and somewhere along the way I found a peace I had never known.

The person I am today hardly recognizes the person I used to be, and that change all came from the inside out. I am not even certain it came from me at all, it just happened.

Hugs

[Boleo]

Originally Posted by mattmathews

My epiphany though, came as I considered this: At what point, have I changed so much that I'm no longer the same person that I was when I started? I've been reading the book "Everyday Zen," and the author states that as we continue deeper into our practice, our opportunities for growth continue to expand. They are, in fact, infinite.
If I can continue to grow, to change, at some point the new "me" is no longer even recognizable as the old "me." That is when I thought: "Maybe I do understand the philosophy of "emptiness."" What I think is "me," what I think is so solid and predictable, is just an illusion. Everything really is impermanent...even me.

I don't think of it terms of the old-me vs the new-me. I see it as the delusional-me vs the genuine-me. As I grow spiritually, the me that I spent
decades fabricating falls away like a veil being lifted from in front of me.

IMO enlightenment is not new truth acquired but old truth uncovered. For example; I always suspected that there was something spiritual happening in my life. Now I KNOW BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT that what I thought were just coincidences are indeed small miracles of divine guidance.

"In Plato's fictional dialogue, Socrates begins by describing a scenario in which what people take to be real would in fact be an illusion. He asks Glaucon to imagine a cave inhabited by prisoners who have been chained and held immobile since childhood: not only are their arms and legs held in place, but their heads are also fixed, compelled to gaze at a wall in front of them. Behind the prisoners is an enormous fire, and between the fire and the prisoners is a raised walkway, along which people walk carrying things on their heads "including figures of men and animals made of wood, stone and other materials". The prisoners watch the shadows cast by the men, not knowing they are shadows. There are also echoes off the wall from the noise produced from the walkway.

Socrates suggests the prisoners would take the shadows to be real things and the echoes to be real sounds, not just reflections of reality, since they are all they had ever seen or heard. They would praise as clever, whoever could best guess which shadow would come next, as someone who understood the nature of the world, and the whole of their society would depend on the shadows on the wall."

[Ann]

Well put, Boleo.

[wellwisher]

Great thread....thank you.

[Rusty Zipper]

matty, as ann, bole and ww...

were all on the way to becoming all that we can be.

[karilynn27]

I was kinda wondering what was happening to me.