Toilet Paper Zen

[MycoolFitz]

Shunryu Suzuki speaks of Zazen, or sitting meditation, as going to the restroom, and using toilet paper to wipe yourself. No big deal, we consume thoughts and accumulate actions all the time, somtimes its necessary and good to relieve ourselves, empty our minds, clean up after ourselves before the next big mind meal. Simple.

[ftw]

Life exists for us to experience, to live and learn. During life it is common to accumulate emotional and mental baggage, remnants of issues you haven't quite accepted.

Theoretically I suppose it might be possible to be so at peace that nothing ever rattled you.

Realistically though, if something negative happens it's going to leave a mark on you. Some part of you may not be able to accept it as just another experience. You might feel wronged or perceive it as injustice and carry these feeling with you after the fact. Even positive experiences tend to spin up all sorts of thoughts, thinking things like how well it went or making future plans.

To meditate is to in a way, see this baggage so that it can be put down, so yes, sitting meditation can be thought of as cleaning up the sticky remnants of life's experiences.

It also seems to be the case that with practice you can become better at accepting and dealing with what life throws at you, accumulating less junk. It also seems to be the case that you can learn to see these sticky thoughts and emotions without specifically sitting for meditation. You can learn to let go a little bit, perhaps during a quiet moment during work, or while walking somewhere.

To diverge a bit, I feel that it is a real problem when life becomes so busy that it does not allow some times to slow down. Whether practiced intentionally or not, this quiet time is vital to letting go of baggage.

Personally, I have sometimes felt at peace, and when I look within I see stillness, a certain clarity of mind, and my energy feels smooth and even. I often also feel uneasiness. Looking within then shows me stray thoughts rattling about, unresolved emotions, and an energy that feels unstable and uneven. Sometimes I can regain peace while still navigating life. Other times I have to sit for meditation to find peace.

I could offer some advice on dealing with these things:

For thoughts, they seem to lose their steam when seen, but not acknowledged. No need to argue with yourself, or fight the thoughts. Just see them but don’t agree with them.

For emotions, they could be traces of experiences not fully accepted. They therefore often seem to need to be felt before they can be let go of. Stand within the swirl of emotions, don’t deny it, but don’t be moved. You will learn when it’s time to feel them, and when it’s time to stop beating yourself up and let them go.

I’ve also found that the description of us as windows though which light can shine seems to be a good one A dirty window will not allow much light to pass. Clean the window and more light will shine through. But more light will also show more subtle dirt. I seems to me that if you clean the window sufficiently you start to sense and energy flowing through you. This energy exposes more and more dirt to be cleaned, and in turn allows more and more energy to flow. You can also learn to “call” more energy, but this seems to leave you unstable as your thoughts and emotions overwhelm you for a time, often several days, and can leave you feeling a bit burned out.

With a sufficiently clear mind, it is also possible to superimpose an image of your desire on the “window”. Thus I now diverge from experience to speculation. I believe that if you can flow enough energy through an image you can cause it to become reality. It seems to take a tremendous amount of energy to do so however. You also have to take into account that know it or not, everyone else is flowing energy into their idea of reality. Sure many of their windows may be relatively dirty, passing limited light, but if many, many people are convinced of the same things, they essentially lock down reality.

Personally again, I do seem to be able to achieve some success in healing minor ailments within my own body. Often times however, I burn out for a while, or slip off into thoughts. With so much energy flow thoughts become magnified greatly, often spinning out of control, taking days to reel in from a burned out state. Slip off into spiritual or religious thoughts and I may run around talking crazy talk like how I’m starting to understand how the Yogis, Jesus, and various saints did the things they could supposedly do. Hmm….