Life

[Rusty Zipper]

got'a love that Growth!

[Dee74]

Thanks CC!

I spent years trying to keep things the same - I was so scared of change ...

I avoided it for long I forgot that not only is most change good, but we need to change - whether its good or bad I think thats how we grow (right on Zip)

I still like cartoons tho
LOL

D

[citychick]

Your welcome D

Change I initiate is ok. Change bought about by "outside forces" lol is a bit harder to deal with. That's when I need to find the faith that every situation has something to offer...whether I like the situation or not.

and what's faith...a desperate dive out of the sinking ship of my own self will with the hope that *insert preference* will be there to pull me out of the water.

[citychick]

Don’t expect perfection and things to go the way you want
them to when it comes to people, business, your prospects,
and your social life. When things don’t go according to your desires, when the weather of life is foul, be creative and
consider what may be the higher reasons why this is
happening and why you must adjust. Perhaps it’s to gain forbearance, patience, inner strength, flexibility, or the
ability to withhold criticism while serving as a loving model.

Michael Goddart

It's kind of nice not knowing why things happen--it relieves us of the obligation of explaining why. Life throws us a vast array of situations and occurrences, and usually they come at us on life's terms, not on ours. Sometimes our ideas of what life should be like happen to correspond to life itself, but usually we find that what life is giving us isn't exactly what we wanted or envisioned. But that's okay--one thing we can be sure of is that it's always for the best.

We can learn from everything that happens to us and around us. We can pull threads of wisdom from every sweater that unravels, and we can find gold nuggets in every load of mud that's dumped on our doorways. Whether we do so or not depends entirely upon how we choose to see things, and how we choose to take them. If something goes wrong, do we take it personally and see it as something awful, or do we see it as an important lesson that will help us to grow, and try to get what we can out of it?

Life will do as it pleases, as it ought to. And we should do the same. Most of how we feel and how we see life is determined by the way we take things, so if we can settle down and look at life's occurrences from a healthy perspective, we definitely can gain something valuable from every experience, no matter how painful it may seem, no matter how difficult it may be to find the value in it.

[Ann]

When things don’t go according to your desires, when the weather of life is foul, be creative and
consider what may be the higher reasons why this is

I've learned that God's gifts often come in strange wrappings, and that when life doesn't unfold my way and God has other plans, then it's always a better plan that often takes me to a brighter path. Hindsight has proven this to be so, in my life.

As much as I squirm when life does not unfold exactly as I plan, today my recovery has taught me to just be patient because there's a gift in there somewhere, even though I may not see it today.

Thanks, CC, for these beautiful reminders that life is good, even when the rug is yanked out from under me.

Hugs

[Rusty Zipper]

yep,

sit back, grab some popcorn and watch the show,

or put the directors hat back on,

screaming and yelling, Roll-Um!

and watch the crew, the actors and the actresses running around like mad!

[citychick]

We are responsible for what we are, and what we wish ourselves
to be, we have the power to make ourselves. If what we are
now has been the result of our past actions, it certainly follows
that whatever we wish to be in future can be produced
by our present actions; so we have to know how to act.

Swami Vivekananda

What I will be next week or next year depends on what I do today. When I look at things that way, today becomes much more important. The way I treat people, the way I talk to them, the ways in which I act, the actions that I neglect--all of these things seem to be much more important when I realize that each of these aspects of my day today will go some way towards defining the person I will be in the future.

My hope is that I'm not going to grow and develop into a new person by making many mistakes and learning through regret and embarrassment and my own poor example. My hope is that my actions of today help me to grow in dignity, love, peace and hope, and help to spread dignity, love, peace, and hope. If I'm able to do this, then not only my future will be brighter, but perhaps the future of someone else will be brighter because of the way that I have treated him or her.

I've noticed that almost all of the people who talk about present actions are focused on our actions that affect other people, our selves, or other living creatures, not actions like buying a new TV set or filling our tank with gas. Though these things can be important, they aren't the things that help us to grow and expand and become more than we are today. The things that help us to grow are those things that help others (or our selves) to see their own value and value their own lives.

Sometimes actions take a firm schedule and a lot of dedication--if you want to write a novel, it doesn't happen in an hour or two. Sometimes actions are quick and fleeting, like the smile and the sincere "thank you" for the person who held the door open for you. Whatever kinds of actions we commit, though, it's important that we keep in mind that they are the parts of our lives that are shaping us, molding us, and defining us as we grow into tomorrow.

[Rusty Zipper]

today, is about doing that next right thing, like it or not...

those actions, are the Stipends for tomorrow...

[citychick]

A priest friend of mine has cautioned me away from the standard God of our childhoods, who loves you and guides you and then, if you are bad, roasts you: God as a high school principal in a gray
suit who never remembered your name but is always leafing unhappily through your files.

Anne Lamott




I've never really known what to believe about God. I tend to think of God as a pretty friendly being--after all, unlimited and unconditional love are two pretty desirable traits, aren't they? I've always felt something's wrong with most religions when they say that God's love is unlimited, unless. . . . It makes no sense at all. Unlimited means just that--unlimited. There are no conditions to it.

The fact is that we've adopted our view of God from people who have come before us and who have taught us what they believe.

They, in turn, have adopted their view of God from people who have come before them. If we follow that chain back a few hundred years, it's coming from people who were controlled pretty strongly by churches that taught us how evil and sinful we are, how "undeserving" we are of God's love. And if we see ourselves as undeserving, then we're sure to judge ourselves pretty harshly, aren't we? Just look at some of the songs that people sing in church to see how strongly people see God as a harsh, judgmental being.

This type of view is usually a projection of our feelings that we have about ourselves. If we judge ourselves, then of course we're going to think that others judge us, too. And since God is in a position to judge, then of course God is going to be making a list and checking it twice, isn't he?

How can we ever reconcile unconditional, unlimited love with any kind of harsh judgment or condemnation? The truth is, we can't. Nor should we try to do so. Our ideas of God judging us is our way of judging ourselves, and we accomplish very little in doing so.

[Rusty Zipper]

There Go's the Judge, There Go's the Judge

Sock it to me, Sock it to me!

[Ann]

Originally Posted by Rusty Zipper

There Go's the Judge, There Go's the Judge

Sock it to me, Sock it to me!

Okay

[citychick]

Thanks Ann.

You're a happy chappee Pattee, singing all over the place.

[citychick]

Not all of your decisions will be correct. None of us is perfect.
But if you get into the habit of making decisions, experience
will develop your judgment to a point where more and more of
your decisions will be right. After all, it is better to be right
51 percent of the time and get something done, than it is to
get nothing done because you fear to reach a decision.

H.W. Andrews

Many people fear making decisions because they fear that they'll be wrong. They fear making mistakes and then being mocked or ridiculed or being held responsible for those mistakes. Probably the most tragic result of these fears is that they never learn what it's like to make a decision that's right, that's effective, that's helpful. They go through their lives deferring to others, letting others make decisions for them.

I've never had this problem, fortunately. At times, though, my decisions have been flawed because of my fear of being wrong, and I've made decisions that my heart told me were wrong because I thought others would want me to make them that way. Most of the time, though, I have no problems making decisions and sticking to them and taking responsibility for them.

Part of the reason that it's so easy for me is that there are so few other people who are willing to do so. It reaches a point at which someone has to decide, so I do so.

I know when I'm deciding, though, that my decision may be wrong. I hold no illusions that my decisions are always the best course of action. But at least I try, and at least I don't regret later having missed out on an important opportunity to make a decision that affects my life directly.

I will be wrong--and I'll be wrong often, I'm sure. But it's often better to be wrong than it is to do nothing at all, for in being wrong, we learn. In doing nothing, we stay at the same place.

[citychick]

Once one has encountered God everything is changed. One does not lead a charmed life—but it is amazing how charming the commonplace can become. One still has heavy work to do but one works with assurance and poise. One still has temptations to meet but they have been robbed of most of their power. One runs into adversity but the inner certainty remains.

Albert E. Day

I'm amazed sometimes at how many people have "encountered God" yet who don't recognize or admit that fact. If God truly is omnipresent, then it's virtually impossible NOT to encounter God all day, every day. Somehow, though, we think that he's far from us, keeping an eye on us, judging us and looking for our flaws. Can we admit and accept that God is right here, right now? And when we can, what does that make of our lives?



For me, most of the doubts of my life just started to disappear. My tendency to save things just in case there are bad times in the future has all but disappeared, for I now know how to trust God and life to take care of me. My tendency to want to try to control situations and people's actions have dried up, because I'm now sure that there's a much higher power who's taking care of things--it's not my responsibility to make sure that everything works out for everyone.

The "inner certainty" that Albert talks about is a wonderful feeling that keeps growing within me as I grow more and more sure of the higher power in my life. And it isn't a result of anything that I've done or any effort on my part. It's a result of finally allowing myself to see the world in a very positive way, of seeing all of our gifts and trusting them. After all, we all see time after time how our best efforts often have no effect at all when we're trying to control how things work out--what happens when we let them work out how they're supposed to, trusting the higher power that is everywhere, all the time?

[Ann]

My tendency to want to try to control situations and people's actions have dried up, because I'm now sure that there's a much higher power who's taking care of things--it's not my responsibility to make sure that everything works out for everyone.

This has been my lifesaver, knowing that God's got it all covered and I just need to do my part at keeping my life good and my heart open.

[Rusty Zipper]

i'm there with ann...

i pedal, God steer's

[citychick]

[citychick]

Hi ganelia, and welcome.

No, I don't think staying in the present is easy. Like everything worthwhile, it takes practice. My mind is always trying to distract me and I'm not sure whether it's my disease at work or just a common occurence for all humans. In fact the only time I'm truly focused on the present is when I meditate (daily) and when I'm doing something for someone else.

What comes to mind reading your post is balance. Try staying in the day for a while and let the future take care of itself.

All the best my friend.

[indigo]

Welcome ganelia thatnks for joining our family here & your input

[Rusty Zipper]

welcome to the family ganelia

before, living in the present was so hard and foreign to me,

years of fears, and projecting were what i had known...

upon enough misery, and exaustion,

with the willingness, and desire to change that,

and taking a look at the why's of it, and a good look at myself...

with the help of a few simple little things,

the Projectionist (Me) has found another Job!

it is oh so doable...

[citychick]

You owe no one as much as you owe yourself. You owe yourself the action that opens for you the doors of goodness, the variety, and the excitement of effort and success, of battle and victory. Making payment on this debt to yourself is the exact opposite of selfishness. You can best pay your debt to society, that has made you what you are, by being just yourself with all your might and as a matter of course. . . . You fulfill the promise that lies latent within you by keeping your promises to yourself.

David Harold Fink

Why is it that we see being self-centered as such a negative thing? Don't we all need to be a bit selfish on a regular basis if we're going to be of any use to the other people in our lives? How much good can we do if we're always tired and worn out and unrested? If we're not at the top of our game, just how much good can we be doing? Personally, I want to give my best when I give, and if I don't take care of myself first, I'm not going to be able to give much, am I?

We all know of the saying that we're not able to love others until we learn to love ourselves.

David Fink says "you owe yourself" many things. And once you pay yourself what you owe, he goes on to say, your contribution to the world will be much greater, for you'll be going to the world with abundance, not with lacking. Taking care of yourself truly is the first action, the base of taking care of the world in which you live.

I wish that we all could be satisfied with who we are, and that we could take care of ourselves well, not neglecting ourselves from some misguided notion that taking care of ourselves is too selfish to do any good to anyone else. If each person could learn to take care of him or herself, think of how little crime we'd see, how little jealousy or envy or rage or frustration or back stabbing. So much of what goes on in this world would simply go away if people would just learn this simple lesson: take care of yourself and then you can contribute in a very positive way to the lives of others.

[Rusty Zipper]

for just about all of my life,

i had one Humongous "IOU"

grateful i'm paying it back big time,

with interest,

and the stipends are beyong my wildest dreams!

[Ann]

Amen, Pattee, and ditto.

[citychick]

The sheer rebelliousness in giving ourselves permission to fail frees a childlike awareness and clarity. . . . When we give ourselves permission to fail, we at the same time give ourselves permission to excel.

Eloise Ristad


Failure is difficult. It's fairly easy for us to give ourselves permission to fail, but what about our employers? Our families? The people we supervise at work? All of these people may have something to say about our failures, especially if they're strongly affected by them. It's great to say that we give ourselves permission to fail, but there always may be fallout from our failure.

Nonetheless, it is quite liberating to be able to tell ourselves that failure isn't the worst thing in the world, and that we can go ahead and fail without our lives falling apart. The expectation to succeed at every single thing we do is unrealistic at best, and that expectation can hang over us like a cloud, turning our days into living hells until we actually have succeeded. Sometimes things don't work out as we hope they will, and if we're still holding on to the expectation of success, we can make ourselves miserable when they don't.

All of Edison's "failures" when he was trying to create the light bulb, he said, were just so many things that he learned didn't work, so he could strike them off his list of possibilities. Many "failed" experiments have turned into important discoveries in other areas because the people doing the experiments kept their eyes and minds open when the results didn't show exactly what they expected.

You're going to fail at something. So am I, and so are our kids. That's okay. Failure is the door to wisdom, and failure often is the doorway to successes that we couldn't even have imagined. The important thing is how you treat yourself when you do fail--if you give yourself permission to fail, then you'll treat yourself with the respect that you deserve for having tried something new and different, no matter what the result.

[Ann]

The important thing is how you treat yourself when you do fail--if you give yourself permission to fail, then you'll treat yourself with the respect that you deserve for having tried something new and different, no matter what the result.

Amen again. The only failure is the failure to try. I forget who said that but it has always stuck in my head.

Thanks CC.