The Change : - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

tim4960 · 07-02-2009, 09:48 PM

About a year after my girl passed and our 3 kids had for the most part settled back into their everyday groove, I decided it was time for a little work on me.A few years ago I had read a story on meditation and liked what it had to offer.There's a place about 5 miles FROM WHERE I LIVED called DENISE HILL. Its an old stone house that sits atop of this huge mountain,and on a clear day you can see over 7 valley's into another state, It's just amazing. Well every Saturday for the next year that's where I would sit and meditate. It was profound.Things that I thought were acceptable to me , were not even close to how I wanted to live my life.So I started rearranging things,deleting things and made my personal relationship with my GOD even stronger than it had already been.I stopped believing in religon and became spiritual.The best thing that happened that year was I finally got to know and partally understand who tim really was.All those years of always being with someone else prevented from doing so. (I don't think I was ready anyway).Today I pretty much know who I am, what I expect from myself and readied myself to laugh at the majority of stupidity in the world today.I also know what I want in my next relationship if I so choose to get into another one. All in all, It took a lot of hard work and some tears to become the person I am today. I can look at myself in the mirror and like who I see.
Sure I will make a lot more mistakes in the time I have left here , but that's ok i'm only human.

**Ann** · 07-03-2009, 03:08 AM

Quote:

I can look at myself in the mirror and like who I see.
Sure I will make a lot more mistakes in the time I have left here , but that's ok i'm only human.

Tim, I can so relate to that. Finding the God of my understanding and connecting in spirit, helped me heal and become a better person. God doesn't expect perfection, but, I think, smiles down on us when we try to be the best person we can be and accept that with gratitude.

I love your description of the stone house on the mountain, I feel like I'm there with you. Where I live we have what I call "the top of the world hill" that overlooks the hills and valleys as they roll down to the bay, and it never fails to take my breath away. That is my "grounding place" too, where all the problems in the world seem to fade away in the beauty before me.

Hugs

Rusty Zipper · 07-03-2009, 04:53 AM

hiya tim,

welcome...

i know about that place, it's realy high up!

haven't been there in years...

happy to know, another has found it...

indigo · 07-05-2009, 01:52 AM

Welcome Tim it's good to have you join us.

tim4960 · 07-23-2009, 08:31 PM

Ann,
Thanks so much for reading this.Id like to see the place at the top of the world, it sounds AWSOME. As far as finding my GOD, I think what was happening was I was trying to follow too many rules. This sec had their set of rules,while the others had theres.Until I realized it was my understanding of my god,things then got soooo much better.Instead of looking for the big bang, I started listening for all the little pops instead.

suki44883 · 07-23-2009, 08:37 PM

Very well said, Tim...both times. Welcome to SR!

07-02-2009, 09:48 PM	#1 (permalink)
tim4960 Member Tournaments Won: 1 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: torrington,ct Posts: 84	The Change : About a year after my girl passed and our 3 kids had for the most part settled back into their everyday groove, I decided it was time for a little work on me.A few years ago I had read a story on meditation and liked what it had to offer.There's a place about 5 miles FROM WHERE I LIVED called DENISE HILL. Its an old stone house that sits atop of this huge mountain,and on a clear day you can see over 7 valley's into another state, It's just amazing. Well every Saturday for the next year that's where I would sit and meditate. It was profound.Things that I thought were acceptable to me , were not even close to how I wanted to live my life.So I started rearranging things,deleting things and made my personal relationship with my GOD even stronger than it had already been.I stopped believing in religon and became spiritual.The best thing that happened that year was I finally got to know and partally understand who tim really was.All those years of always being with someone else prevented from doing so. (I don't think I was ready anyway).Today I pretty much know who I am, what I expect from myself and readied myself to laugh at the majority of stupidity in the world today.I also know what I want in my next relationship if I so choose to get into another one. All in all, It took a lot of hard work and some tears to become the person I am today. I can look at myself in the mirror and like who I see. Sure I will make a lot more mistakes in the time I have left here , but that's ok i'm only human.

07-03-2009, 04:53 AM	#3 (permalink)
Rusty Zipper Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: my room in ct. Posts: 34,755	hiya tim, welcome... i know about that place, it's realy high up! haven't been there in years... happy to know, another has found it... __________________ *Rule 62*

07-05-2009, 01:52 AM	#4 (permalink)
indigo Community Greeter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express Posts: 9,928	Welcome Tim it's good to have you join us. __________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté

07-23-2009, 08:37 PM	#6 (permalink)
suki44883 Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Somewhere Out There Posts: 9,079	Very well said, Tim...both times. Welcome to SR! __________________ We call them dumb animals, and so they are, for they cannot tell us how they feel, but they do not suffer less because they have no words. - Anna Sewell - So oftentimes it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key. - The Eagles

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07-23-2009, 08:31 PM	#5 (permalink)
tim4960 Member Tournaments Won: 1 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: torrington,ct Posts: 84	Ann, Thanks so much for reading this.Id like to see the place at the top of the world, it sounds AWSOME. As far as finding my GOD, I think what was happening was I was trying to follow too many rules. This sec had their set of rules,while the others had theres.Until I realized it was my understanding of my god,things then got soooo much better.Instead of looking for the big bang, I started listening for all the little pops instead.

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