Just a Thought for the Day Part 2

[Anna]

The last part:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ought-day.html (Just a thought for the day)

[IO Storm]

Thanks, dear Anna!

Thanks so much J..

We were on the same page with your last post..

My ego got involved..even at my beautiful retreat. A situation occurred..with a "home

girl" lol..a "valid" concern..I stewed about it..an issue of mistrust. I turned it over that night, lying there

on my bunk..then, my mind started the scenarios..the "what if's"..I don't know her at

all..and she knew some of my family (she told me later)..what if she spread something I said about my past...on and on.

Then..I realized what was happening. Ego, ego, ego. I had already turned this over.

What I had said earlier was part of my story helping another woman..I had done the right thing.

Now..now HP had control of the situation..not me. I breathed it all out..and truly let go. Peace came

immediately. I smiled in the dark then and simply said.."Thank You."

When I woke up..everything thing seemed different, brighter. I wanted to hug everyone

I saw..almost did! lol I walked down to the rec room and there she was..I hugged her.

Hard.

Letting go and letting God really does work, if we work it.

[espresso]

Thanks Anna for new thread.....re-read your last post JM twice !!

There was something I read the other day in NA's "Just for Today" about living in the "what is" instead of the "what if's" which made a lot of sense to me.

[jurneyman]

Thanks Anna for keeping the thread moving forward, while I'm just trying to do the best I can waiting on God, trusting and staying out of His way, until he has time to work on me,
and hopefully learn something, and grow a little bit from this difficulty I'm going through.
The way it looks to me, If I have to go through this miserable situation that I can't do anything about anyway, why not take the easy way out and give it to God who can.

IO, I just get so tired after all these years of my ego and pride still trying to drag me back into my self centered defects of character. When I do a 10th step, all I usually have to look at is my ego and pride. If by putting myself before treating another as I know I should it is my ego, or if I take offense and form a resentment, become defensive or feel hurt from something someone said it is my pride.

Espresso, Living in the what is, to me is just living a day at a time, not trying to guess what the future might have waiting for me.

[jurneyman]

I have nothing new to share today, but the continuation of experiencing one of those times as in all our lives where we face hardships and difficulties. To help us with these life altering situations, first we read about the concepts that help to the understand basic Spiritual principles, the next that was coming up in the near future, was learning how to integrate these positive Spiritual principles into our lives, helping to improve our connection with our Higher Power, which in turn through the power of Spiritual love strengthens our Faith and Trust, so we can become more willing to turn our problems over to God.

After understanding, and learning about the Spiritual principles, we are then able to start practicing putting these principles into action, as I have been attempting and sharing
whatever happens, hopefully with a positive outcome, I will just take it a day at a time.

Tues. May 5, 2009

If our life is not working, we should ask ourselves, in what
way am I creating this? In what way can I change.

[espresso]

OK, I've been quieter on SR recently.....

so here's a thought to share

"Would you rather be right or Happy?"

[jurneyman]

Espresso, What you have shared is wonderful example of expressing Spiritual love for another human being. When we say we are trying to help another person by changing
something they believe for there own good, even if what the other person believes would not cause them any harm, or is really not that that important, what we are actually doing is rationalizing making them wrong because of our ego's need to be right.

Wed. May 6, 2009

We have the ability to help ourselves in the difficult times of our lives,
by not underestimating, and using the power of thinking positive.

[IO Storm]

Thanks J...

Staying positive and in the light today...

[Rusty Zipper]

most of the times Happy,

just there are sometimes i am Right!

now, if i could just convince others of that, we'd all be happy!

[Fluttering]

Originally Posted by Rusty Zipper

most of the times Happy,

just there are sometimes i am Right!

now, if i could just convince others of that, we'd all be happy!

[indigo]

JM I really needed that today thanks.

[jurneyman]

Another aspect from yesterday's writing looking from a different perspective but it aptly applies, is by trying to change someone that isn't ready. just like many of us when we first entered recovery. When we try our best to convince someone, not that they do not want to, but are unable to change yet, it results in frustration, and the self criticism, that again comes from our ego, because we failed.

Thurs. May 7, 2009

The more we try to force something for our personal benefit, the less
we seem to be able to enjoy, what we have wanted so desperately.

[espresso]

Yep so a tool I use is to pray for them. Also use that for people I have resentments against
- BB 552 which includes:

"The only real freedom a human being can ever know is doing what you ought to do because you want to do it"

Well as a human I don't always want to pray for people I don't like but I do it anyway and not just a s a one off prayer, and it does work.

[jurneyman]

How many times have we tried to make ourselves feel better by finding a person, object, or situation that we feel is missing in our lives? The end result is usually short lasting, and usually we regret our actions when we have to pay the consequences.

We might find ourselves in a relationship that is not what we fantisized it would be, when
we realize the reality of living with someone we don't really know. or we buy something we
see in a store that we must have and can't live without, then when the bills have to be paid or the family fed, we have have no money left for the necessities of life, and by then
the object we purchased that was so necessary is no longer important, or even put away and forgotten.

The longing that we feel and try to satisfy will continue until we realize and start to understand it is a longing to reconnect with our Spirit, which is just waiting to be invited back into our lives.

Fri. May 8, 2009

One more paradox in our lives, is the more we want approval, the more we become
someone other people don't want to approve of, the less we care about approval, the more we get.

[espresso]

"Fixing our feelings" I used to do that with so many things......

Now, more than ever I want to improve my conscious contact with my HP and that can't be bought in a store, found in a bar, car showroom or "cattle market", eaten, snorted, bet upon etc etc...PS I am not in all of these fellowships!!!!

[jurneyman]

Espresso I'm not in all of them either, but I bet I could have been at one time or another
while I was out there looking for what is in here.

[Ann]

I'm reading these and nodding so hard I may get whiplash. Good thoughts to begin my day.

[indigo]

oops my head almost nodded off my body hehe.

[jurneyman]

Thank you Ann for your light hearted response,
Indie I was especially happy to see your hehe at the end of your response, it said a lot.



Doing whatever we can just trying to please someone seeking their approval is extremely self centered, wanting others to be interested in us, instead of doing whatever we can to help someone with no expectations because we are interested in them. Something I heard
a long time ago was, If you approach someone with smile on your face, you show you are interested in them, if you approach someone with a frown on your face you want them to interested in you. Something to think about as you greet someone.

Sat. May 9, 2009

As a parent or teacher treating others especially children as though they already have achieved their own greatness, builds confidence and self esteem. Do it enough, and they can be all that they dreamed of becoming.

[Ann]

As a parent or teacher treating others especially children as though they already have achieved their own greatness, builds confidence and self esteem. Do it enough, and they can be all that they dreamed of becoming.

How little effort it takes to encourage someone, to admire their good traits and aspirations. I must remember to do this more often. Growing up I needed someone to believe in me before I could believe in myself and now it's my turn to pay it foward.

Hugs

[IO Storm]

Originally Posted by indigo

oops my head almost nodded off my body hehe.

My head flew off.


Especially when I read the one about living with someone you don't know..

The last one? I attended my daughters'..had casually dated the guy for a month,

gave him the key to feed my cats, when I got home, he was moved in..lock,

stock, and guitar. And, he didn't feed the cats! Nuff said..

Thank you J..

These were the ultimate head nodder's today..

[jurneyman]

Ann, The writing for today came from my own personal experience of being criticized no matter how hard I tried, so I gave up trying. I really hope others who read this reminder
of just how much helping a child feel good about something they accomplished, no matter how unimportant it seems to us, encourages them to do better the next time.

[jurneyman]

Thank you ladies for the head nodding, and since I usually write from personal experience and just as a reminder, this also happens to men.

[IO Storm]

J

Lol..I was nodding so hard I forgot to type in "attending my daughter's (wedding)...."

So grateful to be recovered from so much more than toxic substances today.

These posts are straight to the heart and refreshing.

Thank you for your honesty in sharing.

[Ann]

I'm sorry you were raised feeling never good enough, Jurneyman, and the sad thing is some parents think that if they praise and approve, the child will become lazy. That's just wrong.

I see this in the recovery house where I work, many residents share how they were never good enough and today as they learn to live without drugs, they are also learning to live without approval from people incapable of approving. It is common among residents there, and it's sad.

My heart breaks for children who feel unloved. Nobody is more lovable than a child.

Hugs