Incorporating prayer into my life

[acon4726]

Prayer was not a part of my life until about 8 months ago when I got sober. Now, as a part of working my program, prayer has become a part of my life!

It was really strange at first because my experience with prayer as a child was AWFUL. I used to pray for forgiveness in an obsessive-compulsive kind of way, out of fear of sin and damnnation. Then at around age 12 I had a complete backlash against prayer and religion- I became an agnostic.

In my recovery, I have had to relearn what prayer is. Now I prayer to a love-based God, not a fear-based one. It is still difficult for me to get past some of my negative associations with prayer, though. I am trying to pray daily but it is not easy for me.

How did you make prayer a part of your life? Do you have a good or a bad history with prayer?

[Sunlight81]

In the 2nd grade, I prayed to get out of a required reading assignment. Getting no relief, I learned to forge my Mom's signature.

I've seen all kinds of people pray for all kinds of things.

The most profound prayer I have heard, Thank You.

I don't pray for myself or my sobriety except maybe for help to get out of the way.

I've surrendered my drinking and consider living without it coopperating with the powers that be.

I do pray for other people, especially those having a hard time. Not so much for a specific result but that they be able to accept what happens to them. I don't know if it helps them but I know it softens my heart and gets my focus off of me. Sometimes I wish for them to find what makes them happy, other times I will send them a green healing light.

I do have aspirations and dreams for myself, usually with an if it's meant to be or if it's your will.

I like the 11th step and the Prayer of St. Francis in the 12X12.

And I like to ask, what's the loving thing to do?

[acon4726]

Sunlight, thank you so much for your response. It is unbelievable- you pretty much just described how I am trying to approach my spiritual life. I totally agree that 'thank you' is the best prayer- a prayer of gratitude. The prayer of St. Francis is my favorite prayer, and my God's will is love. Beautiful post.

[Fluttering]

Hi acon

Many of us had to relearn the concept of prayre.. I know I did.. Today I do connect on a daily basis...and I have learned I can live prayerfully -which keeps in in constant contact.. As I know and have learned God watches over me constantly..One of the beenifits of this journey was diascovering that God carried mew through the storms of my life before recovery all the while I was runnig from Him...He remained constant and never abandoned me..

When the negative thoughts come in from the past I have larned to divorce myself from the thoughts and take the one foot drop to my heart where faith and truth live..

Blessings and best wishes to you. I am grateful you are on this journey with us

[acon4726]

Thanks for your reply, Fluttering.

I think I am starting to feel the benefits of prayer in my life. The biggest thing is how it strengthens my connection with my higher power. I feel more 'in tune' every time I pray.

[Fluttering]

acon

Sounds like you are getting it!!! That is wonderful!!

Keep on Keepin on

There will be down days...Getting into it now you wlll find it great comfort & peace on those day where Life on life's terms hit you.. Other days when tings are good you will begin to feel tremendous joy...and that is relly an awqesome feeling.

You will also find your spiritual life begins to grow a a result of that reliance during both the good and the not so good days

Many Hugs

[Rusty Zipper]

if i may add...

learning to pray rightly!

no more letters to santa claus...

if it be thy wiill...

[pamie]

I know now that it does... Not always how I think it should be, most often better than I could have ever planned. Prayer for me now is so real and most important I have learned to get quiet and listen for an answer, guidance, direction whatever..

I feel extreme comfort now, no fears, at all..or at least extremely rarely if that. I went to alot of different kinds of churches and faiths. Now the only way for me is by a looooonnng shot. Jesus Christ. Total difference in my life, attitude, spirituality, love you name it.

I started watching that hokie smiling pastor Joel Osteen and thought he was kind of out there but friendly. He grew on me and I investigated further.. Best thing I ever did for myself..I love my life now... Now I sound hokie, oh well that was 4 yrs ago and I am still happy, so I guess it's for me..Keep hanging in there.

[AliceinWndrland]

does everyone think that prayer has to take a certain form? sometimes when I go for walks, I send up my thoughts to god. lately, I've been really depressed and have been trying to do more praying, but it usually takes the form of crying and wailing to god. Does this "count"? prayer is something that's new to me so I'm just curious what other's thoughts are on this...

[indigo]

I think that counts as prayer Alice. In fact I'm sure it does.

[freya]

Originally Posted by AliceinWndrland

does everyone think that prayer has to take a certain form? sometimes when I go for walks, I send up my thoughts to god. lately, I've been really depressed and have been trying to do more praying, but it usually takes the form of crying and wailing to god. Does this "count"? prayer is something that's new to me so I'm just curious what other's thoughts are on this...

...my vote is "YES," all of that definitely "counts"...if you are "talking" to HP (even if you're cussing HP out!) or listening for HP and if whatever you are doing or trying to do makes you feel in any way more connected to / in relationship with HP, then it's all good and it all "counts"

For me prayer takes all kind of forms but basically serves one of two purposes: either I am trying to connect / align my will with HP or I am expressing gratitude/worship/adoration (They all kind of seem the same to me!).

I have a chakra-based meditation that I do....a long version that I do at least once a day and a short version that I do whenever I feel like I need to calm down, reconnect, discern what "the next right thing" is, etc...

More traditionally, I do pray the rosary -- not every day -- but at least several times a week. There's several reasons this works for me, even though I am definitely do not consider myself Catholic. First is because my grandmother, who was very spiritual/close to God/whatever you want to call it, was a fanatical rosary prayer, and I have her rosary and I have the sense that it has a lot of energy connected with it. Second, the repetitious nature of the prayers is very centering/meditational for me and seems to occupy my thinking mind just enough so it stays out of my way for the time that I'm doing it.

(Along those lines, pretty much anything that circumvents my rational/thinking mind and takes me out of myself -- like swimming or sex -- can be prayerful for me, because it takes me to a place where I can "hear" HP more easily than I can when my mind is yack-yack-yacking.)

I do also frequently use "The Lord's Prayer" the "Fear Prayer" and a couple of other prayers the actual wording of which I really like, just saying them and concentrating on what they mean and where that leads me at the moment. And there is one hymn from my childhood that I sometimes sing (in the car when no one has to hear me!), because it's just a very joyous, worshipful hymn (and the only hymn tune I can remember and carry because I have NO musical ability whatsoever!) and there's something about the vibrational pitch of it that just works for me and makes me feel "right" with HP.

Also, because of my being so intellectual, I do usually have a "topic" I'm working on in relation to my program/recovery/spirituality, and these are usually chosen for me by HP because they just keep coming up over and over in my life in a short period of time until they get my attention, and so then I read on them, talk to people about them, bring them up at meetings, notice how they seem to work in my life and just kind of hold them gently in my mind -- as opposed to like trying to come up with some kind of "thesis" or final answer about them -- until it feels like I have some kind of resolution or deeper understanding around it and another one presents itself...recent ones have been things like discernment, fear, inner-child issues, pain, etc.....

Finally, and this is really not something I do but more like something that happens to me more and more often since I've been in program, sometimes something happens that objectively probably wouldn't seem very special or important but somehow it really is and I am just like overwhelmed with this huge "rush" of gratitude or adoration.....or....I guess I don't really know what to call it , but it is definitely very powerful and very prayerful in the gratitude/worship sense.

...and that concludes tonight's Epistle of Freya the Apostle.....LOL! I sound like a friggin' holy-roller here......

freya

[AliceinWndrland]

Freya - so funny, I was just thinking about this issue today, and then you posted a reply to this thread which is actually from back in May! You're so right - sometimes the messages come exactly when you need to hear them - to me that means god is talking back. I'm listening, I'm listening!
Thank you for your insights... I'm still working on my prayer "methods" but I'm definitely a lot more comfortable with the whole idea of it. I catch myself thinking about things I don't want to be thinking about, and now I find myself saying "god, I'm sending this one up to you, do with it what you will!" and saying it over and over until it leaves my head! I did it about 200 times today!

[barb dwyer]

Good thread!

I'm a prayin' fool, apparently.

I like to have at least a half an hour when I wake for quiet,
thanksgiving, prayers for others...
but I've always been 'goofy' that way.

I miss some mornings, but ...
after time it gets habitual.
Like a part of your day is missing.

For me it helps keep an open line between me and All That Is.

I like feeling connected to the Universe while doing daily tasks and stuff.

Good for you getting back into it as well!!!

[genericeric]

I saw this recently and it helped me arrive at my current understanding: Prayer does not change God; it changes him/her that has prayed.

[Ann]

I pray often, anytime, anyplace. What helped me with prayer was something Melody Beattie wrote. She said "Pray for anything you want to, God will sort out the junk."

I talk to God like an old friend...a much wiser than me old friend. I try to pray only for courage and strength, gratitude and to do God's will, but sometimes I just need to talk to Him to help me sort out my thoughts. That helps me just put it all in His hands. Works for me.

Hugs

[lizw]

At the moment (in the morning) I've daily reading books I read and I say the BB 3rd step prayer plus I write a gratitude list and lastly, that god/hp give me knowledge of his will for the day and the power to carry it out.

I've had a few different phases in my soberity, regarding what I do to connect. I can also get a little OCD on it too and then it isn't about getting connected, it's about easing the screaming inside my head that says 'god wants you to do more,more,more'.

I was raised a catholic and I spent my teenage years living with evangelical christian types of people, who told me most days I was possed by santan. I'm serious here too. I look back on it now and think OMG. Talk about spiritual abuse eh?

I've also had phases in my soberity, when I have just been unable to pray. It talks about this in the big book and I think it may have something to do with my history with religon.

I stopped praying my wish list when I was about 2/3 years sober. I.e. please god provided the money to pay my phone bill this month. I have recently read a book too that said EVERYONE goes through the wish list type of relationship with their HP/God to begin with. I was quite surprised by that as the book is not a addiction recovery book.

[lizw]

.....I'm still waiting for someone else to chime in and say, yes they too were accused of being possessed by satan.....anytime now would be good....

[AliceinWndrland]

Liz, I've never been accused to being possessed by Satan... but it's still early today...